If only I had Learnt
by TuesdayMorning423
Summary: "If only I had learnt to be a lady," Elizabeth whispered, "then perhaps I might be fit to marry, but as it is, I am not." Is it possible for a man, even one such as Fitzwilliam Darcy, to change her mind?
1. Chapter 1

**If Only I Had Learnt**

Blurb: "If only I had learnt, I would have been a proficient," declared Lady Catherine. But proficiency changes a lady more than Lady Catherine realized.

I have place a copy of the original FFN version of _Given Good Principles_ and _If Only I had Learnt_ on Gumroad for you to down load and pay what you think it is worth. A number of you have asked for the original rather than the published version and I've finally found a way to make it happen. You an find it at: gumroad dot com forward slash mariagrace

**Chapter 1 **

The greying gentlemen accepted his coat from his valet and slipped it on. "How does it look, Wallace?" he asked, fastening the buttons.

"Very well indeed, sir. Miss Elizabeth did a fine job instructing your tailor. She chose an excellent shade of green for you; it suits you well." Wallace brushed a little dust from the back of the coat. "I dare say you will make a most favorable impression on Netherfield's new tenants."

"I can do no less for my dear wife's sake." Mr. Bennet chuckled to himself. __One of those rich young men might do as a husband for one of our daughters. There are so few eligible young men in the neighborhood for the likes of my Jane and Lizzy.__Her shrill voice rang still in his ears.

Wallace handed him a pair of dark glasses then opened the door, and Longbourn's Master left his room. As he carefully made his way down the stairs, he heard voices coming from the parlor. _It__ is __remarkable__ how __much__ Lydia__ sounds __like__ her__ mother._Smiling to himself, he headed for that room. He paused in the doorway, waiting to be recognized. When he was not acknowledged soon enough, he cleared his throat loudly. "So which one of you girls shall drive me on my errand this morning?" he announced.

"Good morning, Papa!" A tall, blonde young woman hurried to his side. Smiling broadly, she kissed his cheek. "I am afraid I cannot this morning."

"What has you so occupied, Jane?" he asked, cocking his head slightly.

"Oh, Mrs. Kenner and Mrs. White are quarreling again. Mrs. Kenner complains that the fence is broken, and Mrs. White moans that Mrs. Kenner does not keep her goat properly restrained, thus allowing it to destroy both the fence and her garden. I am going over there to try to settle them both and find some way to keep the peace with them." Jane laughed as she settled a napkin over her basket. "Their quarrel has been going on long enough."

"And several loaves of Cook's fresh bread will help your cause, eh?" Mr. Bennet laughed, nodding toward the basket.

"If often does, Papa." Jane smiled brilliantly and slipped past her father.

"So then, Lizzy, I suppose that means you have the honor today." He cocked his head, surprised when he received no answer from his normally loquacious daughter.

"I am here, Papa," a voice called from behind him; rapid footsteps down the stairs followed.

"Ah, I mistook Kitty's voice for yours, dear." He turned to face the stairs.

She paused beside her father, tying her bonnet in place. Brushing past him, she walked to her sister. "That was not kind of you, Kitty, confusing Papa like that. Have you not learned better than to play those sorts of tricks?" She scooped up her spencer from the chair next to Kitty and fastened it.

"Oh, Lizzy, you are far too serious! Lydia dared me to try to see if I could do it since she sounds so much like mama. I do, after all, sound very much like you. It was a harmless lark." The younger girl tried to laugh despite the severity of her sister's glare.

"You only sound like me when you are not engaging in such foolishness! There is nothing harmless in having fun at the expense of others." Lizzy went to the side table to retrieve a large leather-bound book. "I believe you have forgotten some very important lessons. Here," she opened the book and pointed to a passage. "While I am gone I want you to read this and then…"

"No, Lizzy, not another essay. Please, that is entirely unfair," Kitty pleaded, pushing the book away.

"I think it is a capital idea," Mr. Bennet commented from the doorway, "and you shall read it to me when we return. Considering the number of times you have written on that particular passage, I look forward to hearing what new insights you might have on the matter."

"I am so tired of reading and writing on that passage!" she moaned.

"If you found it so objectionable, then you should have thought before you acted. Clearly you have not yet learned its lessons," Lizzy declared firmly, pulling her gloves on. "Where is Lydia?"

"She is on her way into town on an errand for Hill. Before you ask, Mary is in the kitchen with Hill and Cook discussing menus." Kitty dropped into a chair, pouting. "My pen needs mending."

"Well then, you shall have the opportunity to practice mending it." Lizzy handed her a pen knife that had been left out on the table. "Make sure you put this away when you are done with it. Then when you are finished with what I have given you to do…"

"Find something useful to spend my time upon," Kitty finished for her, a pout evident on her face. "You always say that!"

"And I will stop when you no longer need to be reminded!" Lizzy chuckled and kissed the top of her younger sister's head. "We will only be making one call this morning, so we will not be too long. After we return, perhaps we can go together to call upon the Lucases."

Kitty's countenance brightened. "I would like that. It has been days since I have seen Maria." She turned her attention to the book. "I shall have this finished well before you return."

Smiling wistfully, Lizzy walked back to her father and took his arm. "Shall we go now?" He nodded, and they left the house.

Just outside the door, a groom held a smart bay gelding hitched to a gig. The groom helped Mr. Bennet step up into the vehicle, and then turned his attention to Lizzy. But she was already settled and taking the reins into her hands. "Are you ready, Papa?"

He settled his hat firmly on his head. "I am indeed, dear. Let us be off then."

Lizzy clucked her tongue and slapped the reins. The bay pricked up his ears and started off at a lively pace.

"Well, it looks like Mr. Werner has finally repaired the hedgerow that was damaged when the carriage ran off the road. It still looks a bit sparse, but it should be filled out by next summer, I believe." Lizzy turned her eyes back to the road. "Hold on, that hollow in the road here has gotten worse. The storm last week has certainly left its mark on the road."

Mr. Bennet gripped the seat and gritted his teeth. "That was certainly one to rattle your bones!" He laughed and resettled his hat. "It feels like we have more rain on the way. I hate to think what new ruts and holes will greet us after this week."

"I shall see if we can steer around it on the way home." She readjusted her bonnet.

"You say that every time, Lizzy, and still I find myself counting my teeth to be sure they are all still with me when we arrive."

"Riding with me is most certainly not that bad, Papa. But if you continue to complain, I shall have Lydia…"

"No, no, you have made your point. I shall immediately cease my ingratitude. You are indeed the best horsewoman in Meryton." _Indeed__ you__ are,__though __perhaps __that __is __a __fact __best __kept __to__ myself._

"Ah, be careful. Did Mama not warn you that such flattery would go to my head? Oh, there is Mrs. Harris." Lizzy slowed the horse. "Hello there! How's the new roof coming along?"

"I believe we will have it mended just in time for the next weather to blow through," the older woman said as she bobbed her head in greeting. "So kind of you to ask. How are you and your sisters this morning?"

"We are doing very well, thank you. We have been enjoying the new soup recipes you sent to Cook. They have become some of Mary's favorites."

Mrs. Harris smiled broadly. "Well, that is good to hear!" She waved as the horse walked on.

Mr. Bennet waved in her direction, chuckling. "How you remember so much about all our neighbors just astonishes me."

"But your memory is ever so much better, and we are both quite aware of that fact. You never have to be reminded of where we left off our last chess game."

"That sounds like an invitation!" He leaned back and stroked his chin. "I believe I had just moved my queen…"

A short time later, they arrived at Netherfield Park. Her father's arm firmly in hers, Lizzy knocked on the door. The housekeeper greeted them warmly and showed them in to the parlor. "Mr. Bennet and Miss Elizabeth Bennet to see you, sir." She curtsied and retreated from the room.

Inside the well-furnished room, a young man with blonde hair and blue eyes jumped to his feet. "Charles Bingley at your service, sir." He rushed toward his visitor, staring wide-eyed. "Miss Bennet." He bowed toward her. "This is my friend Mr. Darcy and my brother, Mr. Hurst." He gestured at the two other men behind him.

Lizzy curtsied then guided her father to a chair. After he sat down, she said, "If you will excuse me, gentlemen, I do not mean to intrude upon your conversation. If it is all right with you, Mr. Bingley, I shall just take a turn about your grounds and return in a quarter of an hour or so."

"Oh, no, no. My sisters are here with me, and they would never forgive me if I did not see you introduced. They have met so few of our neighbors; they would be sorely disappointed to miss making your acquaintance. Let me take you to them." Bingley smiled brightly. "They are in the morning room, I believe."

"Is that agreeable to you, Papa?"

"Certainly, child." Mr. Bennet nodded absently, as though he was listening carefully to some noise in the room.

"I shall return for you in a quarter of an hour then," she said and followed Bingley out of the room.

An awkward silence ensued as Darcy and Hurst stole glances at one another then stared dumbly at Mr. Bennet.

Mr. Bennet chuckled, reaching for his dark glasses. "Here, gentlemen, I shall remove these. That will make your staring much more efficacious."

"Sir! I beg your pardon; I had no idea…" Darcy stammered uneasily.

"No need to make yourself uncomfortable… Mr. Darcy, is it? I have quite inured myself to it by now; there can hardly be a man who would be confronted with this and not stare." He pushed himself up from the chair. "Both of you come here," he invited as he waved them over. "Come along now."

Staring at one another , Darcy and Hurst rose and stepped toward their guest.

"There now, have a good solid look." He turned his face until he felt the warmth of the sun upon it. "Come close; it is frightful I know, but I assure you, I do not bite.

Hurst gasped while Darcy bit his lip. Heavy scars ran across Mr. Bennet's face from one temple to the other, up the right side of his forehead and down his left cheek. Scar tissue covered one eye entirely. The other could only open partially, and the eye underneath the heavy lid was clouded.

"Gawk all you want; I will take no offense, for I cannot see your horrified expressions." _Although__ you __would__ be__ surprised__ how__ accurately __I __can __hear __them._"I am indeed quite blind."

Hurst shook his head as he realized he was rudely staring. "Please, forgive us, sir. Do sit down," he said very loudly.

Darcy winced and shook his head disapprovingly.

"I am blind, sir, but not deaf." Mr. Bennet laughed, rubbing at his ear. He reached behind him to find his chair and sat down smoothly.

"Of course, sir, please forgive me," Hurst stammered, blushing hotly.

"Think nothing of it, Mr. Hurst. It is something that nearly everyone does until they become accustomed to me. I have come to expect it at a first meeting. It is only if you continue to shout at me that I take offense." He settled his glasses back into place with another chuckle. "I am sure you are too polite to ask; it was a hunting accident. Blasted gun misfired, exploded in my face. It was ten years ago now; my youngest had just turned five, I believe. The surgeon said it was a miracle I survived."

"Forgive me for saying so, but from the look of those scars, it would seem so," Hurst finally spoke. "I have seen the kind of accident you described, and the poor bloke was not nearly so lucky. He did not live an hour afterwards."

"I have heard that same story a number of times. But then again, in the months I spent recovering from it, I was forced to wonder if it was not the ones who died that were lucky." Mr. Bennet leaned back in his chair. "Ah, Mr. Bingley, you have returned." He tipped his head toward Bingley and moved to remove his glasses again.

"No need, sir; Miss Elizabeth has explained." Bingley glanced at Darcy and Hurst apologetically. "I asked." He shrugged, blushing.

"She is a good girl, the second of my five daughters. No, I have no sons, just daughters." He listened as the others in the room shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, I look forward to calling on them, perhaps tomorrow, sir? I should very much like to meet them all, and your wife, too," Bingley declared energetically.

Mr. Bennet sighed, the corners of his mouth falling. "I am afraid the latter will be quite impossible. My wife has been gone these five years now."

"My condolences, sir," Darcy offered awkwardly, tugging at his cravat. _This__ just__ keeps __getting __worse__._Bingley shot him a look of puzzlement, caught, uncharacteristically, without words.

"There, there gentlemen, no need to be so awkward and uncomfortable. Your shrugs and sighs are quite clear to me, even across the room." Mr. Bennet smiled gently. "Yes, there has been tragedy, but one lives in that or chooses to recall the past only as it gives one pleasure. I would not have chosen my accident, certainly. But in truth, I have been made a better man for it all. Moreover, I find there is very little that I am forced to do without, despite having lost my sight." He smiled thoughtfully, turning his face into the warmth of a sunbeam.

"Do you not find it difficult to stay at home so much, to be in such limited company?" Bingley gasped, suddenly blushing when he realized what he had said.

Mr. Bennet laughed heartily. "So you are a very social gentlemen, Mr. Bingley, if what you fear losing most is being in company. Mr. Darcy, what would you fear losing without your sight?"

"It surely would not be being in company!" Bingley joked with a sidelong glance at his friend.

"That is easy," Hurst teased, "he would mourn the loss of his pleasure in reading."

Darcy chuckled. . _I cannot believe how easy Bennet is with all that he has been through. His smile is so ready, and he seems to have good humor in abundance. But he is indeed an odd fellow. "_It is true – my library is perhaps my greatest pleasure."

"And you, Hurst?" Bingley challenged.

He folded his hands over his ample belly. "I do not know. I would miss the view of the countryside … and chess. There is nothing like losing oneself in a good game of chess."

_Or __a __good __meal,__ I __imagine._"I am denied none of those things." Mr. Bennet shook his head adamantly. "My dear wife refused to allow me to linger and fade, locked in the confines of our home, as, I admit, I was wont to do. It was she who insisted on the purchase of the gig in which you, no doubt, saw us arrive. She saw to it that my eldest daughters learned to drive so that I would never have the excuse of having no one to drive me about. They ensure that I do not neglect my social calls. Likewise, they all, in their turn, read to me. Not a day has gone by that I have lacked the pleasure of a good book."

"But certainly, you cannot enjoy the sentimental novels that young women read these days!" Hurst protested. "I have seen what my wife reads from time to time, and, upon my word, it is stuff no man should be forced to endure." They all laughed heartily.

"Not hardly. Keep in mind though, I did say 'a good book.' The youngest of my girls humor me as they read my selections, but the older, particularly Elizabeth, share my tastes in histories and philosophy and poetry."

Darcy's eyebrows rose, and he glanced toward the door. "That is quite extraordinary." _It __is __rare __to __find __a __woman __who __has __improved __her __mind __by __extensive __reading._

"Indeed. She also is my most frequent partner in chess. It took a little time, to be sure, but now we are quite able to play without even a board, which does simplify things most considerably. I ask you, Mr. Hurst, how often have you been able to enjoy a game of chess on a long carriage ride?"

"There are many times that I have wished to do so, I will admit. Playing without a board – that is quite an accomplishment." Hurst rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I have never heard of such a thing."

"I have," Darcy murmured, "I have heard of masters playing multiple games at once and of some who were kept prisoner in war playing boardless games such as you describe."

"Indeed, that was where my daughter got the idea. You play chess yourself, sir?" Darcy nodded. "Then perhaps you and my daughter will have to play some afternoon."

Bingley laughed at the astonished look on Darcy's face. "Your daughters sound like very accomplished young ladies."

"Perhaps not in the eyes of society, but I believe they are indeed." Mr. Bennet smiled. "But, now, you have heard enough of me to last ten social calls. Tell me of yourselves." He sat back to listen. "It is time for me to learn of my new neighbors."

A quarter of an hour later, Elizabeth appeared at the door to the parlor. Conversation stopped as the men rose to greet her. _. _I cannot believe how easy Bennet is with all that he has been through. His smile is so ready, and he seems to have good humor in abundance. But he is indeed an odd fellow.  
><em>._She stepped to her father's side.

"Thank you so much for coming to call, Miss Elizabeth," Bingley gushed, bowing over her hand. "I hope we may repay the courtesy and call upon your family soon."

"We look forward to your call. I shall have Elizabeth dust off the chess board and perhaps we might have a game." Mr. Bennet answered, bowing to his host. Elizabeth curtsied. They bowed in return. Taking her father's arm, she led him to their waiting gig.

He waited until he felt the gig turn the corner out of the drive before he asked, "So, my dear, tell me your impressions of our newest neighbors."

"Oh, Papa!" She sighed heavily. "I do hope Mr. Bingley and his friends were more agreeable than his sisters."

"I did find them quite agreeable, as a matter of fact. I do hope to maintain an acquaintance with them. It seems I might have another partner for chess and someone besides you and Jane to discuss history and philosophy with. I somehow do not see Mr. Darcy as one so fond of poetry, though. It does not sound as if you have the same opinion of Mr. Bingley's sisters."

"I am afraid not, Papa. It seems they are very different from their brother. Mrs. Hurst … well picture if you will a bittern hiding in the reeds. It stands straight up, beak in the air, trying to be unassuming, but all the while watching for any who might be noticing it."

Mr. Bennet laughed into his fist, pretending to cough.

"I could feel her eyes on me, trying to assess whether I was predator or prey. Knowing me as you do, you no doubt know which I would prefer to be." She glanced at him, giggling. He laughed more loudly. "Her sister was even worse! Miss Bingley in her white dress and feathers, she was most definitely a grey heron."

"A heron, you say?"

"Indeed." She slapped the reins. "She is quite tall, you know, and stood looking down at me, her feathers drooping down her back, with a posture most like a heron with its bill tucked into its chest. She stood there motionless, staring at me, waiting for the proper moment to pounce and declare her accomplishments. Quite a pair of superior sisters if ever I have encountered them."

"You have a sharp tongue there, daughter! Let us hope that your impression of the men was more charitable." He reached to lay a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Of that you can be sure. You know I am most severe on my own sex. Let me see. I would say that Mr. Bingley is most definitely a spaniel, a blonde one, with the largest blue eyes you can imagine. He is a friend to all and devotedly loyal, content with sport or in the drawing room beside a good fire."

"That was my perception as well. He certainly seems a capital fellow. He might do very well for Jane."

Elizabeth pulled the horse up short, stopping the gig. "No, Papa, no. Please, no more matchmaking! You are truly worse than a nervous mother!"

"Now that is unfair." _No __mother __would__ have__ invited __a __man __for__ a__ game __of__ chess__._"I am only thinking of you and your sisters."

"You have given us dowries enough to attract decent men, but not so ample as to attract fortune seekers. Uncle Philips and Uncle Gardiner have given their solemn word to give us homes should the heir to Longbourn turn us out. You need not concern yourself with matchmaking." She clucked at the horse and slapped the reins again.

"I had no way of knowing what a fool Collins would turn out to be. You have to agree that it was reasonable to consider he might do for one of you girls."

"Perhaps, at first, but within an hour of his arrival, it was quite clear he was most absurd. It was only the greatest of providence that he set his sights on Charlotte and was fortunate to obtain her hand. If not for that, I think he should still be here trying to persuade you to give him a wife from among your," she shifted her posture to mimic Mr. Collins, "'most lovely and charitable daughters, who would, in the interest of charity and reconciliation in the family line, be most well suited to be the wife of the clergyman of Rosings Park.'"

Mr. Bennet laughed deeply and slapped his thigh. "He was a tenacious man, if nothing else. In truth, I was not sorry to lose his company. Your imitation is quite sufficient for any moment I feel myself in want of him!" He gripped the seat as the gig jolted over the hollow in the road. "I thought you would avoid that on the way home!"

"I would have, had you not distracted me with talk of matchmaking."

He sighed dramatically. "All right then, we shall forget Collins. Tell me your impression of the other gentlemen."

"Mr. Hurst is a most ample gentleman, and seems very content, despite the fact he has very little hair. He is a bulldog, for I am quite certain he snores most frightfully at night." She laughed to herself. "I believe he would be quite content to rest beside a good fire with a bone to gnaw on."

"I fear what you would say of me, given the opportunity! No, no, do not tell me, I have no wish to know." He held up a hand to stop her ready answer. "Tell me instead of Mr. Darcy."

Elizabeth became quiet for a long moment. "He is more difficult to capture."

_How interesting. There are few you do not immediately discern. _

"He is a tall man, dark and serious. I think he is a stallion, a black stallion, the one the grooms fear and only the master himself can ride." A blush crept over her cheeks as she kept her eyes firmly focused on the road.

She did not see the small smile on the father's face. _He__ will__ do__ very __well__ for__ you,__my__ dear.__ He__ was__ impressed__ with__ you__ as __well._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:**

****For those of you who read and enjoyed Given Good Principles, I have good news. **Volume 1 of Given Good Principles: Darcy's Decision** will be released for publication soon. The published version has had hundreds of hours of editing and is not identical to the version here. (I think it is vastly improved!) You can read the prologue and keep up with the latest news on publication dates and availability (and maybe even some coupon specials!) on my Face Book author's page. FFN will not allow links posted, but just search 'Maria Grace' on Face Book and you will find it!

Looking forward to see you there. Drop a note on my wall saying you found the page from FFN and I'll put your name in a drawing for a free book when it comes out!

Now back to your originally scheduled reading...

* * *

><p><strong>If Only I had Learnt<strong>

_I tried to go in and fix all the italics problems on this chapter, hopefully the fixes will stick-if not please let me know!_

**Chapter 2**

"Really, Charles, just because we are living in the country, there is no need to follow all the customs here. I will not become accustomed to eating dinner so wretchedly early!" Caroline grumbled as her brother seated her at the dinner table. "I imagine I will be expected to rise with the livestock next. Surely you do not keep such ridiculous mealtimes when you are in residence at your estate, do you, Mr. Darcy?" She smiled and batted her eyes.

"As a matter of fact I do, Miss Bingley, and I have risen with the livestock, as you say, since I was a boy." Darcy dipped his head toward her as he settled into his chair.

Caroline blushed fiercely.

"I find country manners quite charming," Bingley declared as he flipped a napkin into his lap. "I do say, the cook here is marvelous." He carved the joint and served Caroline a slice. "Hurst, you must admit that your cook in London…"

"Never produced something like this!" Hurst grinned as he received the meat platter from Bingley. "And the pudding is truly spectacular."

"The victuals may be superior here at Netherfield, but you must admit to me," Caroline countered shrewishly, "that the company here is something savage."

"Savage you say!" Hurst challenged. "How ever can you claim that?"

"Do tell," Bingley agreed. "You have had few callers by which to reach that opinion. How could you call the company dreadful?"

"Well," Louisa sniffed, "there was that gossip, Lady Lucas, who came around here simply to see for herself if we matched up with the descriptions her servants had given her. She does still have one unmarried daughter, and such a woman always has one eye open for a potential husband for her daughter."

"But did you not tell me that your first visitors in any location are always the town's biggest gossips?" Hurst laughed agreeably. "Surely you would have expected that here as well?"

"I did not expect that you would understand," Louisa muttered and rolled her eyes as she looked at her sister.

"Well, look at the callers we have had today," Caroline sneered, "the cripple and his harpy of a daughter." She delicately dabbed at her lips with her napkin as if wiping away a bad taste.

"His name is Mr. Bennet, and he is a gentleman," Darcy snapped, causing both women to start. "His estate is the nearest neighbor to Netherfield. Referring to him as 'the cripple' is both disrespectful and rude. You will quickly forfeit the opportunity to make friends among your new neighbors if you continue to refer to him that way. He and his family are well respected in this community." He looked sternly at Caroline. _I__ fear __you __shall __never __be __so._

"I grant you, he is in remarkably good spirits for one so cruelly affected," Louisa tried to soothe. "But his daughter…"

"You must grant that she is not the sort of woman you would want _your _sister to be acquainted with," Caroline interrupted. Gritting her teeth, she sawed awkwardly at her meat.

_I__ am __certain__ her__ table__ manners __would__ be__ better __than__ yours. __Who __taught __you __to __hold__ a __knife, __a__ swordsman?_Darcy frowned. "How do you come to that conclusion?" He laid down his utensils to give her his full attention.

"Did you see her, covered in road dust like a common servant, driving her father about in an open gig ?"

"A gig is not inappropriate for a gentlewoman to drive," Bingley argued. "It is admirable that she and her sisters would be so attentive to his needs that he has not withdrawn from society due to his afflictions."

"With a face disfigured like that," Caroline's face contorted, "he should be a shut-in! Really, he should have some consideration for those of us who have to look upon him! He belongs locked in his study, where he will not offend delicate sensibilities!" Caroline tilted her head and rolled her eyes.

"He did not come to call upon you." Darcy's face hardened into an angry mask. He looked down, focusing on the plate in front of him, balling his fist under the table.

"That is simply cruel, Caroline." Bingley tried to manage a glare in her direction, but did little more than crease his brow.

"I think it admirable that a man could come back from such devastating injuries." Hurst said through a mouthful of pudding.

"With the help of his daughters," Louisa declared. "Why, that man has no steward; it seems he encourages his daughter to do the work instead!"

"Indeed!" Caroline sputtered, trying to quickly swallow her mouthful. She pointed at her sister, forgetting that her fork remained in her hand. "That is exactly what I mean! They have relations in trade, and it seems he would have his daughters sully their hands as well."

"He has reduced his daughters to laborers!" Louisa threw up her hands.

"They plow the fields for him, do they?" Hurst chuckled as he lifted his glass.

"I would not put it past them, as she certainly seemed to know enough about planting them! She is reading some treatise on crop rotation, of all things!" Caroline's silverware clinked on her plate.

"I suppose it is better than animal husbandry, eh?" Hurst's bushy eyebrows lifted. He glanced over at Bingley with a small wink.

"Oh, she has already read that—apparently she is searching for new cross breeds of sheep to increase their wool production!" Louisa quickly countered.

"How can a young woman retain her delicacy with such reading material? Clearly she cannot! She is certainly as indelicate as any common washer woman." Caroline waved her napkin.

"I am quite convinced this notion of delicacy is highly overdone," Bingley tried to cut in. "Do you wish for more potatoes, Caroline?" Without waiting for her answer, he piled several on her plate.

"Whatever you may think of it, Charles, even though you may find no fault, society has a very different idea. Delicacy must be guarded as closely as one's virtue."

"You do not appear convinced, Darcy," Hurst declared as he reached for the peas and lettuce.

_What__ would__ they__ say__ of__ Georgiana __if__ they__ were __to__ know_ _of __Ramsgate?_ He looked straight at Hurst. "I know the value of a good understanding of the land and how to manage it. A wise man does not leave another to manage his estate without close direction."

"But surely you would not wish your sister…" Caroline gasped.

"If something were to happen to me, then Pemberley would become hers. Although I employ a most capable steward, I would have no wish for her to remain ignorant of what she would need to manage. In fact," he turned to Caroline, "this entire discussion has caused me to rethink the course of my sister's education." He pushed his chair back and nodded at Charles. "Bingley, if you will excuse me?" _I__ have __quite __lost__ my__ appetite._He rose and with a slight bow, removed himself from the dining room.

"…Amen," Mr. Bennet finished pronouncing his blessing over their meal.

"Mutton, papa?" Jane asked.

"Peas?" Lizzy offered.

"Both, please." He smiled as his daughters carefully served portions on their specific places on the plate. "Is that an oat pudding I smell? I think I will pass on that; the smell does not agree with me tonight."

"Do you care for potatoes instead?" Jane passed a serving dish to Mary and reached for another.

"Yes, dear. So tell me, how went your errand of peacemaking this afternoon?"

"The king should send Jane to France, Papa," Kitty giggled, "for she would surely have Bonaparte begging for forgiveness!"

Jane blushed prettily as she served her own plate.

"Though perhaps she overstates it," Mary frowned slightly, "Kitty is quite correct. Jane does have a natural talent for mediation."

"So what has become of the goat and the fence? Is it to be roasted over the fence posts tonight?" Mr. Bennet chuckled gently.

"I think that would have been equally disagreeable to all," Jane protested, smiling.

"Especially the goat!" Mary tittered.

"So then tell us of your Solomon-like wisdom." He turned toward her. "I am all ears, and yes, I can hear you blushing!" They all laughed heartily. "Instruct us now, so that we, too, may be able to work these wonders." He waved his hand.

"Well, we sat down to tea with Cook's bread and jam…" Jane began.

"Take note, girls, the first step to brokering a peace is to fill their bellies so they are too sleepy to argue with whatever you may suggest." He ticked off the point on his finger.

Jane looked at him with good-natured sourness. "Then I let each of them make her case, encouraging the other to listen carefully."

"The second step is to encourage all involved to complain vociferously." He ticked off a second point.

Jane huffed and crossed her arms. "When each had had her say, it was clear that both arguments had some merit."

"Third," Mr. Bennet cocked his head knowingly, "we declare that everyone is correct and allow them to gloat in their righteousness."

"So we went outside to survey the fence and the goat pen."

"And you distract them from their complaints with a long walk in the hot sun..."

Lizzy giggled through the hand she had placed over her mouth. Jane scowled playfully at her. "Once there, I pointed out that the fence was indeed in need of repair, and the goat was not properly penned."

"Whereby you render them insensible from overexertion, such that they will agree to anything to be allowed to rest from their exercise." Mr. Bennet extended his open hands.

Kitty and Lydia exploded in laughter. Even Mary grinned. With warmth in her eyes, Jane reached to squeeze her father's hand. "Mr. Hampton will go by there tomorrow to repair the garden fence. They agreed to move the goat pen so that it straddles both their plots. They will both throw their scraps to feed it, and Mrs. White will receive a third share of the milk." Jane nodded triumphantly at her younger sisters.

Mr. Bennet applauded softly, "Truly a triumph of diplomacy, my dear." He squeezed her hand again. "I am indeed grateful for your gentle interventions with our tenants. It is to your credit that we have so few disputes among them."

"You never cease to amaze me, Jane," Lizzy said, looking at her sister with admiration in her eyes. "You truly should be advising the House of Lords. How you manage to find such agreeable solutions is a wonder."

"How she gets everyone to agree to them is the true wonder!" Kitty added, helping herself to more pudding.

"How was your visit to Netherfield?" Jane asked, cutting her potatoes.

"There are three gentlemen and two ladies in residence. Two of the gentlemen and one of the ladies are unmarried," Mr. Bennet replied. "I found the gentlemen quite agreeable. Two of them actually play chess, and one reads extensively."

"Now, Lizzy, you must tell us about them!" Lydia squealed, clapping softly in anticipation. "What creatures have we living next door? A goose, a fox or a weasel…"

"Or perhaps a crow and a toad!" Kitty grinned.

"I think it wise to be careful not to speak such things too loudly," Mary warned, "lest our neighbors take offense at our irreverent portrayal of them."

"You are quite right, Mary," Lizzy agreed, a smile lighting her face, "so I shall only say this once, and quietly; you must listen carefully the first time." She laughed. "The gentlemen are a good sort, I think. We have a spaniel puppy and a bulldog…"

"Which plays chess?" Kitty demanded, giggling.

"The bulldog." Lizzy's brows lifted teasingly. "Can you imagine a spaniel puppy sitting still long enough to do so?"

"No, but I can see the bulldog chewing on the king by the fireplace," Kitty teased.

Mr. Bennet sputtered and choked over his glass. "Have a care, Lizzy! Do not say such things whilst I am drinking!"

"So then the spaniel puppy reads?" Lydia asked. "I cannot fathom that any more than I can imagine him playing chess."

"Oh no, our neighbor, the spaniel, is a friendly sort of fellow who relishes company and is kind and pleasant to all."

"And fancies a scratch behind the ears?" Mr. Bennet teased.

"You spent far more time with him, father. You would be in a better position to know that than I," Lizzy countered quickly.

"So tell us of the third gentleman!" Kitty demanded, leaning forward on her elbows.

Lizzy became quiet for a moment. "He is different from his friend; he is a black stallion, one that only the master can ride, for he frightens the grooms too much."

"Ooooh!" Lydia and Kitty squealed together.

_So __he __has __caught __her __attention._Mr. Bennet smiled quietly to himself.

"He is the reader and the other, the chess player then?" Mary asked quietly.

"Yes," Mr. Bennet answered while Lizzy's eyes took on a faraway look.

"What of the ladies?" Jane asked, studying her sister's face.

"They were of another breed entirely!" Lizzy laughed, snapping out of her reverie. "The sisters favor one another, though one is much taller than the other. The shorter one is a bittern, and the other a heron. Both with sharp bills and sharper tongues!"

"Oh, Lizzy!" Jane admonished. "Did you try to speak to them of crop rotation and wool production?" Lizzy shrugged. "You know that you cannot expect ladies from town to find such things acceptable topics of conversation."

"Well, if they are going to occupy an estate, they should! What good is it for them to know nothing of the land?" Lizzy argued.

"Ladies from town have no need for such information. Their accomplishments are of a much more refined…"

"You mean useless ," Lizzy muttered under her breath.

Jane frowned, "…a more refined variety. I fear they have less regard for the accomplishments of…"

"A more useful sort of person," Lizzy huffed.

Mr. Bennet cleared his throat. "So, Mary, my dear, what news from the kitchen and the back stairs?"

Mary started and quickly swallowed her mouthful. "Well, the prices of tea and sugar have gone up. We are watching the prices to buy again when they are most favorable. I have also written Uncle Gardiner to see what prices he is able to find for such things in town. We hope to replenish the pantry before winter weather fouls the roads."

Mr. Bennet nodded. "Very good. He turned toward Lizzy, "The road to Netherfield is not the only one at risk from these storms."

"Oh, Papa," she groaned, "will you simply not forgive me for running over that rut in the road?"

He chuckled and reached out for her to take his hand. She twined her fingers in his. With a smile, he squeezed her hand.

"Oh, the young scullery maid we hired a fortnight ago just ran off with the blacksmith's son." Mary shook her head and snorted. "Seems she was gifted some money that completed her dowry, and she no longer needed employment."

"Well, that is a bother," Jane sighed. "I had hoped she would stay on; she seemed to get on so well with Hill."

"Apparently, she got on better with the blacksmith's son!" Lydia tittered.

"Lydia!" Lizzy rebuked sharply. "Such joking is coarse and decidedly inappropriate for a young lady."

"And crop rotations are?" Lydia scoffed. "Oh, tosh, Lizzy, it is only our family here; do calm down." She waved her sister off.

"A true lady is a lady at all times," Mary cut in, wagging her finger.

"Oh, well, fine then!" Lydia huffed. "I did hear the most delicious piece of news today in town…"

"No gossip now," Mr. Bennet warned as he reached for his glass.

"I know, I know, but this is not gossip. The militia is coming to Meryton. It is a Colonel Forester's regiment. Soon the town will be brimming with red coats and officers…" She smiled dreamily.

"No!" Mr. Bennet slammed his hands down on the table, rattling the china. All five sisters jumped. "Let me make this quite clear to all of you, and be quite certain, there is no jest in what I am about to say. None of you, including Jane and Lizzy, are permitted to socialize with any man in regimentals. They are not welcome in this house, nor are their wives. You are not to keep company with anyone remotely related to the regiment. Do I make myself understood?"

For a long moment, the girls just stared at him. Finally Jane spoke, "Yes, Papa," her voice hardly above a whisper.

_I__ should__ not__ have __been __so__ harsh__._ He sighed. "Perhaps I have overdone it a bit today. I think I shall retire now." He pushed back from the table shakily and stood. "Goodnight, girls." He slowly made his way upstairs.

"What is wrong with Papa?" Mary whispered hoarsely, missing the knowing looks Lizzy and Jane exchanged.

"How can he be so cruel?" Lydia moaned. "We are never allowed any amusement like other girls! It is so unfair…"

"You will do as he says," Lizzy firmly admonished. "Do not even think about trying to do otherwise."

"You know Papa is only concerned for our welfare. If he requires this of us, it is because he has a good reason," Jane added. _A__ very __good __reason.__ Poor__ Papa._

"So, Mary," Lizzy settled back into her seat, "have we any prospects to replace our maid?"

"Maria told me that their maid's sister had just turned old enough for a position," Kitty offered enthusiastically.

With Wallace's help, Mr. Bennet prepared to retire. "Will there be anything else, sir?" Wallace asked somberly, noticing the uncharacteristic heaviness surrounding his master. "Are you feeling well? Should I send for Mr. Palmer?"

"No, no, I have no need for his potions tonight, despite the fact he is always wont to give me one or another. There is nothing wrong that a good night's sleep will not cure. You can go now; I will ring for you in the morning." He waited until he heard the door shut, and sank down on to the bed. He dropped his face into his hands for a long moment. Finally, he reached down to the drawer of the bedside table and withdrew a mob cap and lace shawl. With a heavy sigh, he pressed them into his face and breathed deeply.

_Oh,__Fanny,__I__ have __never __stopped__ missing__ you.__ But__ now__ is__ one__ of __those __times __when __I__ feel__ your __absence __all__ the__ more. __What __am __I__ to__ tell__ them?__ I __know __you __spoke __to __Lizzy __and __Jane __of __Margaret__'__s __fall. _A painful lump formed in his throat. _My __dear__ little__ sister__… __how__ could __father__ turn__ her __out __like __that? __We __had __relatives __in __Scotland__ to __whom__ she __could __have __been __sent. _He pressed the lace against his cheek._ I __could __never __turn __one __of __my __girls __out __that __way__… __Please,__ dear __Lord,__ let __me__ not__ face __that __choice! __I__ must__ protect __them._

He leaned back and swung his legs onto the bed. Reverently, he fingered the lace and pressed it to his heart. _I__ have __been __told__ that __it__ is__ wrong __to__ ruin__ their__ delicacy__ and__ warn__ them __of__ the __seductions__ such __men __might__ attempt, __but__ how__ can __I__ protect__ them __from__ such__ things __if__ they__ do __not__ even __know __what __dangers __lurk?__ Oh__ Fanny,__ you__ should __be __here__ now __to__ speak __to __your__ younger__ ones __of __this. __I__ do __not __know__ how__ I__ am __to __do __it.__ But__ if__ I__ do__ not, __then__ who__ will?__ Jane__ or__ Lizzy?__ They__ should__ not__ even __know__ of__ such__ things __themselves,__ much__ less__ be__ warning __their__ sisters!_

He pulled aside the counterpane and slid beneath. _Five__ daughters!__ Fanny, __five__ daughters __you __left__ me __to__ care __for,__ all__ of__ them __as__ strong__ and __clever__ as__ you. __I__ would __not__ trade__ one__ of__ them __for__ a__ son__…__though __Lizzy__ would__ have__ made__ a__ fine__ heir __to __Longbourn.__ Certainly,__ she__ would__ have __been__ better __than__ that __fool__ cousin__ of__ mine! __I__ just__ always__ thought__ you__ would__ be__ here __to__ guide __them__ with__ me.__ I__ could __not__ survive __without __them,__ I__ am__ sure, __but__ I __fear__ that__ I__ may__ be__ ruining__ them __in __the__ eyes__ of__ society.__ What __proper __gentleman __will__ desire __a__ wife __who__ knows __more__ about __how__ to__ run__ an__ estate __than __he__ does?__ What__ have __I__ done, __Fanny? __What__ am __I __to __do?_Covering his face with his hands, he began to pray. Finally, his heart eased. He rolled over, tucking the cap and shawl beneath his cheek and slept.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note:**

For those of you who read and enjoyed Given Good Principles, I have good news. **Volume 1 of Given Good Principles: Darcy's Decision** will be released for publication soon. The published version has had hundreds of hours of editing and is not identical to the version here. (I think it is vastly improved!) You can read the prologue and keep up with the latest news on publication dates and availability (and maybe even some coupon specials!) on my Face Book author's page. FFN will not allow links posted, but just search 'Maria Grace' on Face Book and you will find it!

Looking forward to see you there. Drop a note on my wall saying you found the page from FFN and I'll put your name in a drawing for a free book when it comes out!

Now back to your originally scheduled reading...

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Dawn peeked out over the horizon, beckoning those who would seize the moment with its siren song. Lizzy huffed as she threw the heavy saddle on Toppur, the tall chestnut stallion named for his shocking white forelock. He whinnied as the saddle settled onto his back, and she patted his cheek affectionately. _The groom is right; Toppur is an entirely improper mount for a lady, just as this saddle is entirely inappropriate for a gentlewoman. But he does need to be exercised, and that a lady might do. _She laughed to herself as she cinched the strap tight.

"'e certainly takes that saddle better from you than from any of the stable boys, ma'am," the groom said from over her shoulder as he reached over her to check the saddle. "I know it ain't gonna take no rider this morn, but I cannot 'elp meself." He chuckled. "Perhaps if ya keep takin' 'im out like this, 'e will be fit ta ride yet." He slapped the horse's rump kindly. "'e's all fit ta go. Ya be a good 'orse for 'er now."

She nodded to him, and he handed her the reins. She led the stallion from the stables and down the wooded path toward Oakham Mount._ I must make certain no one sees!_ _All the more reason to be off at dawn. It is too early for any of our neighbors to be about, and back at Willard's field, there will be no one to scandalize. I will be back before anyone notices my absence. _As soon as she was out of sight of the house, she swung up astride the horse. _I am sorry, Mama, but riding sidesaddle is truly dreadful, and today I must run. _She flicked the reins and kicked the horse into motion.

Soon they were trotting down the secluded path to Willard's field, just outside the boundaries of Netherfield Park. The field, left fallow this year – and far out of the way of traffic – made for the best possible place for her to gallop unencumbered. Toppur knew the routine well enough that she paid little attention to guiding him. _Headstrong thing you are; you would head this direction whether I wanted you to or not. How many times have I found you here when you decided the stable was not to your liking? _She patted his neck. _Too much like me, I suppose. _Storm clouds loomed on the horizon. _Surely they will hold off long enough. I do not think I can face the day without these few minutes to myself. _She urged the horse into a faster gait.

Suddenly they were upon the field. The knee-high grasses bowed as a chill wind blew through. Goose bumps prickled along her neck. Sensing her anticipation, the horse quickened his pace further, exploding onto the field at a gallop. The wind whipped at her face and tore her bonnet back until it clung valiantly only by the ribbon around her neck. She shrieked in glee at the raw power beneath her as they flew across the landscape, slowing only slightly to turn the sharp corner at the end of the field. Suddenly Toppur's head whipped around. An unfamiliar horse appeared on the other side of the meadow, a huge black stallion. Toppur slowed for a moment and whinnied in challenge.

_ That horse! _She gasped, staring to get a better look at the animal. _That is the stallion I spoke of when I described Mr. Darcy ._ Suddenly she realized the animal was galloping toward her. She stiffened for a moment. Toppur reacted immediately, but his posture confirmed that she was in no danger. So she gave him his head and allowed him to run full out.

The black stallion cut across the field and caught up to her, but she did not slow. The horses quickly glanced at each other, and as if by silent agreement sped side by side, tracing three sides of the field. As they rounded the fourth corner, they slowed, pacing each other in a trot, then a walk.

Lizzy looked over at the other rider, a wild grin on her face, forgetting, for a moment, to be embarrassed at her unladylike seat and state. Her heart pounded, and she panted with excitement. No one before had ever seen her, much less ridden with her, on her solitary morning escape, but today's company had been exhilarating. She lifted her eyes to those of her companion. "Mr. Darcy!" she gasped in recognition. She pulled her panting horse up short.

"Miss Elizabeth?" He pulled his horse to an abrupt stop. His shirt was partially open, and without a hat, his hair was disheveled.

She could not help but stare at him; she had never seen a gentlemen in such a state before. His blue eyes sparkled, and his face was flushed. Her pulse quickened further. In her state of distraction, she did not notice his staring at her wild curls and windblown face. A cold raindrop hit the back of her neck, pulling her back to reality. "Please excuse me, sir…" she stammered, struggling to replace her bonnet. She blushed hotly as she felt his eyes on her.

"By God, that's a fine horse you have!" he exclaimed, grinning. He cringed as he heard himself. "Please forgive me. I am a great admirer of horseflesh, and rarely have I seen so fine a specimen, and handled so admirably." _And never have I seen a woman so beautiful. _

"Thank you. I am afraid you have happened upon me at a most awkward moment," she choked out as she tied her bonnet a bit too tightly. _No one was to have seen me. I am so embarrassed. _Her blush deepened.

He bowed his head. "I fear I have intruded upon your privacy, and as such, I cannot judge." Several raindrops plopped heavily on his cheeks. He urged his horse into a walk; Toppur followed. Without looking at her, he observed. "I've known few men with a seat as good as yours. That was as fine a race as I have had in many a day."

She smiled as she looked down, unaccountably pleased with his compliment. "You have a very fine stallion yourself, sir; what do you call him?"

"Surtur."

"The fire giant or the black horse?" she asked, head cocked teasingly.

Darcy could not help but smile. "The giant." _She knows? How singular. _

"The name is well earned." Toppur tossed his head and snorted. She leaned forward to pat his neck. "You are a jealous one," she chided.

"Does your mount have a name?"

"Toppur."

"Ah, the contrasting forelock. That does make him a striking fellow." Darcy nodded. He began to comment further, but another cold gust ripped across the field.

"The rain is coming in soon." She brushed stray hair from her face and struggled to tuck it under her bonnet.

"It is coming fast; I believe Netherfield is closer than Longbourn from here. Please come; it would not do for you to be caught out in such a cold storm," Darcy insisted, guiding  
>Surtur towards the path to Netherfield.<p>

She shivered as several cold drops ran down the back of her neck. "It is already quite improper that you have encountered me astride this horse. I cannot…"

"I understand, Miss Elizabeth." He nodded graciously. More raindrops fell. "There is a copse of trees near the Netherfield stables. We could approach from that side, and not even the grooms would see. You could dismount and walk Toppur to the stables."

"Our own grooms believe me to be exercising him now, trying to get him accustomed to the saddle. I suppose your grooms would assume the same. I have done this often enough." She agreed reluctantly. "He is quite a spirited fellow and does not abide the grooms very well." The sky flashed with lightning; a sharp clap of thunder followed. "You are right; we should hurry. It would not be good for the horses to take a chill either."

"Come." They urged their tired mounts into a quicker pace, but the storm was upon them well before they made it to the stables. By the time they had left the horses in the hands of the grooms and arrived at the house, both were soaked to the bone by the frigid rain. Lizzy's teeth chattered so hard she could not speak as Darcy pulled her into the house. The housekeeper met them at the door.

"I came upon her while I was riding," Darcy explained carefully. "She must get warm!"

Mrs. Price quickly guided them to the roaring fire in the kitchen, as the other fireplaces had not yet been lit. Blankets were wrapped around them and mugs of hot broth were pressed into their hands.

"I will send word to Longbourn, madam, that you are well. It would not do to worry your papa," Mrs. Price assured, tucking Lizzy's blanket more firmly around her. "I have ordered a hot bath for you." Turning to Darcy, she said, "I have taken the liberty of alerting your man and starting water in case you should wish for one as well, sir."

"I will, thank you," Darcy answered between sips of his broth.

"Betsy will be here to attend you when you are ready, Miss. Cook is here in case you need anything before she or your man arrives." Mrs. Price curtsied and hurried off.

After a moment of awkward silence, Darcy asked softly, "Do you always take such… exercise in the morning, Miss Elizabeth?"

"I do, sir," she confessed, burying her head in her mug. Patiently, she waited for the last of her shivering to stop before she said, "Please, I find I must ask a favor of you." She did not look up.

"What can I do for you?" He gazed intently at her blanket-wrapped form.

"Please do not tell my father I was riding Toppur… or that I was racing through Willard's field. He worries so. He knows I ride but thinks that when I do, I am upon the old mare taking a staid pace up Oakham Mount." A heated flush crept up her cheeks.

"He would try to stop you if he knew." Their eyes met, and they searched each other, recognizing a kindred spark.

"He would. It is so very improper… and dangerous." She swallowed hard and looked away. "You must understand, I cannot deny him anything. But…"

"But what?" He touched the tip of his riding boot to hers.

"Perhaps you can understand. I am told that you run an estate yourself." She chanced a glance toward him and saw compassion. "It is the only time I have to… to be alone, to be away from the problems and responsibilities of running the estate. I fear I should go mad without it." She dropped her eyes again, her cheeks burning with the admission.

He did not reply until she looked up. "I quite understand. When my father died, the running of the estate fell on me. There were moments when it was almost overwhelming." He smiled wistfully. "At home, I maintain a field much like yours for the very purpose of racing Surtur." He looked into her eyes for a moment before reassuring her, "Your secret is safe with me."

She smiled brilliantly, rewarding him amply for his good promise.

Several hours later, the rain continued to beat a steady pattern on the landscape. The clouds seemed to have grown darker, and even drearier. Lizzy, in a morning dress that clearly did not suit her, as it was borrowed from Mrs. Hurst, joined the Netherfield residents in the morning room. A welcoming fire crackled in the fireplace, stirred by one of the maids. Several servants bearing platters and dishes entered and spread the meal out on the sideboard.

"Dreadful weather!" Hurst exclaimed, piling his place with cold meat.

"Is the weather usually so wretched this time of year?" Louisa asked, glancing disdainfully out the window.

"I do not believe the weather worse here than any other part of England," Elizabeth replied, trying to ignore the way her hands shook as she served her plate from the side board.

"Tell me again how you came to be caught in this dreadful downpour," Lousia looked critically at Elizabeth. "I do believe it started shortly after dawn. Is that not frightfully early to be taking one's exercise?"

_ I would suggest, dear bittern, that you do not select me as your prey today. I will not go down very easily, nor will I settle well. _Lizzy carefully sat down.

"It is singular that you should be so far from your home and without an escort of any kind," Caroline commented as she poured coffee.

"The grounds of my father's estate are quite safe, Miss Bingley. The countryside is not like the streets of London." She raised her eyebrows knowingly. "Besides, I do not find anyone else who favors my early hours to accompany me when I go out." Lizzy pulled the shawl more tightly about her shoulders, surprised at the sudden chill she felt.

"Such behavior would be considered quite shocking in town." Caroline seated herself between Darcy and Elizabeth. "I am surprised, though, that the customs for ladies ," she drawled over the word staring with narrowed eyes at Elizabeth, "are quite different in the country. I would have thought it more fashionable to emulate the ways of higher society."

Lizzy flushed angrily as she suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. _I will not be a fit meal for a heron either. _She bit her lip, stealing a glance at Darcy. The corner of his lips quivered, but he said no more. "Indeed we are quite different, here. Some have thought us worlds apart from the society of the ton . I suppose you might even consider us _uncivilized _."

Bingley and Hurst exchanged glances and cringed. Bingley noted the tense lines on Darcy's face, contrasted by the placid expression Louisa wore. He cleared his throat. "Some might, I am sure, but as for me, I find country ways quite charming."

Caroline opened her mouth, but Louisa silenced her with a wide-eyed stare. "You are, of course, correct, Charles, we must allow for such differences. That is the only civilized thing to do."

Darcy scowled. _How ironic that the one who rides so indiscreetly and understands the management of an estate is the only true lady in the room. _

"Mr. Darcy's estate is in the country as well; perhaps he can speak to this matter," Elizabeth noted, delicately nibbling her buttered bread.

Darcy choked a bit as he felt Caroline's eyes on him. "You would not permit dear Georgiana to traipse about unescorted at dawn on your estate, would you?" she asked. "Surely you have higher standards for you sister."

"My sister is but seventeen," Darcy replied tersely, "I believe the same age as Miss Elizabeth's second youngest sister."

"Georgiana is a most proper young lady, and so accomplished!" Caroline gushed. "She speaks perfect Italian and plays and sings all day."

"That would be an exaggeration," Darcy mumbled.

"She does play very well," Bingley agreed, sitting up very straight. "I most enjoyed the concerto she played for us when we were last at Pemberley."

"Indeed, what was that piece she played?" Louisa asked.

"I cannot recall the composer." Caroline batted her eyes at Darcy. "Perhaps you recall. I believe she said you gifted her with the music for her birthday."

The conversation continued around her as Elizabeth clutched her temples, then massaged them hard as she closed her eyes.

"Miss Elizabeth?" Darcy asked softly. "Are you well?"

"It is but a headache," she muttered as the first wave of nausea hit.

Darcy sprang to his feet, calling for Mrs. Price. "Miss Elizabeth is unwell and is in need of a room to rest."

The housekeeper hurriedly sent a maid to prepare a room for Elizabeth. A quarter hour later, she lay in a darkened room, under a soft comforter, a warm fire lighting the space, Mrs. Price herself seeing to her needs. With a sigh, the housekeeper closed the door to the bedchamber and turned to find Mr. Bingley pacing the hallway.

"Mr. Bingley," Mrs. Price said hesitantly, "she is truly not well. Miss Elizabeth is not disposed to such spells as more fashionable ladies might be. I believe we should send for the apothecary, Mr. Palmer."

"Yes, yes, immediately," Bingley agreed quickly.

Darcy found himself pacing the study as he waited with Bingley for the apothecary's pronouncement.

"You are quite agitated, Darcy," Bingley observed as he poured two glasses of port.

"I am the reason she was caught in the storm." He took the glass from Bingley and drew a long sip. "I came upon her whist riding and delayed her return home. I feel responsible."

"You take too much upon yourself, you know." Bingley sank down into a soft chair by the fireplace. "You are not responsible for everything, even at Pemberley." He looked knowingly at Darcy.

Darcy grumbled under his breath and took another sip of port.

Mrs. Price opened the door and admitted the apothecary. He was a short man with hunched shoulders and glasses. With short brisk steps he made his way to the two gentlemen. "She has a fever, but I do not believe she is infectious. It would be best not to move her, particularly in this weather," Mr. Palmer explained somberly. "Miss Elizabeth is a strong young woman, who has rarely needed my care. I have every reason to expect that she shall make a good recovery."

"Of course, of course, she is more than welcome here for as long as needed," Bingley insisted, wringing his hands. "I will send word to Longbourn immediately." Bingley hurried off to find the housekeeper.

Darcy considered the apothecary for a long moment. Finally he asked, "Mr. Palmer, is there anything else Miss Elizabeth might need to facilitate her recovery?"

"I have provided her with a number of preparations to assist in her healing. There are a few additional tinctures I would recommend, but they are more expensive, and not strictly necessary. Few of my patients wish to procure them." The grey-haired man cocked his head up to look at the much taller gentleman.

"I will cover the charges for those additional preparations."

"Indeed, sir?" His glasses rose as he lifted his brows.

"Do not speak to anyone of this," Darcy warned with a scowl. "I do not wish for her reputation to be tarnished."

Mr. Palmer nodded somberly, a question in his eyes.

"I lost my way, and she came upon me and showed me the way back. It is my fault that she was caught in the rain," Darcy explained. _I hate disguise, but she certainly does not deserve to have her reputation tarnished. _

"I see, sir. I shall go make ready the remaining medicines." He bowed and excused himself.

Bingley returned and settled back into his chair. "Well, that is done. What an alarming turn of events, would you not say? I do hope she makes a good recovery, as Mr. Palmer predicts. Her family has faced enough tragedy. I do not believe they could bear her loss as well."

"It does seem that Mr. Bennet depends upon her a great deal." Darcy stared out the window. _It was a day much like today that I learnt of Father's death. I depended upon him so much. I hope Mr. Bennet does not face such a loss ._

A wet and shivering messenger arrived at Longbourn and handed off his missive before Hill led him off to the kitchens. Wallace quickly took it to the study where Jane read to her father.

"Oh, Papa!" she exclaimed, scanning the hastily scrawled note." Lizzy has taken ill. Mr. Palmer has seen her and says it is a fever, and she is not to be moved."

Mr. Bennet's face turned white. He drew a deep breath to speak.

"No, Papa, we cannot go to her tonight. It is still storming, and there is no moon. We cannot travel in the dark, especially in this weather." She put her hand on his arm.

He snatched it away. "Why ever not? I do it every day!" He sprang from his chair and stomped a few angry steps away. Behind him, he heard Jane exhale a shuddering breath. Walking back softly, he found her shoulder with his hand. "I am sorry, child, I forget myself. I should not have shouted at you."

She laid her hand over his. "She is my strength, too, Papa." She patted his hand. "Mrs. Price will take good care of her."

"I am sure you are correct, dear. But we shall go at the earliest decent hour for travel. I will have Hill and Wallace pack a trunk just in case, for I shall not leave Netherfield without my daughter."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The cold, dreary rain persisted, but true to his word, Mr. Bennet ordered the carriage to be made ready. Ignoring the admonishments of Hill and Wallace that he should not endanger himself by going out in such weather, he mounted his carriage and sat beside his eldest daughter. He tapped on the ceiling with his walking stick to signal the driver, and settled back as the carriage lurched forward. "Do stop wringing your hands, dear." He patted her knee. "You will only wear out your gloves!" He smiled knowingly.

"How do you always know when I do that?" Jane laughed tensely. She forced her hands to lie still in her lap.

"The sound is quite distinct." _And grating on the nerves, I am afraid. But, poor dear, you are upset enough now, and I dare not add to that. _

"I do not even hear it." She looked out the window. "There is the broken hedge. It looks positively skeletal in this light. I never noticed that before. Somehow it is so much more cheerful in the sunlight."

"Hold on, dear, we are going to hit that confounded…" The coach lurched. "…rut."

Jane squealed and clutched her father's arm. "How did you know?"

"Lizzy hits that blasted thing whenever we drive this way." He rubbed his temples. "She promises that she will not each time, and yet she always does."

"Have you a headache, Papa?"

"I am sure it will be better when we arrive." He leaned his head back against the carriage cushion and sighed. _I cannot get help but remember how quickly Fanny succumbed to that fever. Surely I will not lose my Lizzy to such a thing as well._ His face grew cold at the thought and began to silently pray._._

"I did not sleep well, either." Jane leaned against his shoulder. "I am sure they have taken very good care of her, and she will be recovering well when we see her." _Oh Heavenly Father, let it be so. _

In due time, the carriage slogged across the soggy roads and arrived, covered in mud, at Netherfield's front door. Footmen immediately greeted them and helped them inside where Mrs. Prince greeted them. "Mr. Bennet, Miss Bennet," she said with a curtsey. She took their wet outer garments and handed them to a maid.

"Thank you for admitting us," Mr. Bennet said as he bowed his head toward her. "I know this is a dreadfully early hour for a call."

"We were expecting you, sir. I am sure your daughter will be pleased to see you. I am afraid that Mr. Bingley is not below stairs, yet." She turned toward the young maid who stood gaping at Mr. Bennet and instructed, "Go take those things and hang them by the fire in the kitchen." The young woman hurried away.

A tall, dark figure appeared behind Mrs. Price. "I will see to our guests," a rich baritone voice announced.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Darcy." She bobbed and retreated.

Mr. Bennet smiled for the first time that morning. He turned toward the voice and gestured to his daughter. "Mr. Darcy, may I present my eldest daughter, Jane?"

Darcy bowed. "It is good to meet you, Miss Bennet."

"Thank you. I am pleased to make your acquaintance as well." _He is the black stallion that Lizzy described! _Jane curtsied and tried not to stare.

Turning to Mr. Bennet, Darcy said, "Please forgive Bingley. He and his party still keep town hours, and may not be down for some time yet. I hope that yu will accept me in his stead."

"You are an early riser," Mr. Bennet acknowledged as he dipped his head toward Darcy, "for you are a country gentleman."

"It is in the blood, I suppose." The corner of Darcy's lips lifted. "Forgive me if I am too forward, but I can only imagine you are here to see after your daughter?"

"Oh yes, sir…" Jane's words poured out in a rush.

"Mrs. Price just checked on her. She reports Miss Elizabeth sleeps, but remains quite feverish, and most certainly should not be moved. She does not feel your sister is in any serious danger though. Mr. Palmer, the apothecary, agrees."

Mr. Bennet gasped a heavy sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging.

_It is as I thought; he has lost someone, probably his wife, to such an illness. He is too steady a character to react with such alarm otherwise. _"With your permission, sir, I will take you to her now."

"I would greatly appreciate that." Mr. Bennet's voice was a bit unsteady as he squared his shoulders.

Darcy stepped between Jane and her father and took Mr. Bennet's hand and placed it firmly on his own elbow. "If you will come this way."

Jane immediately began to protest, but Mr. Bennet waved her off. _I have never seen Papa trust anyone but family to do that! _

Darcy spoke softly as he walked, "The staircase we are approaching is made of a most unique white marble. The first step, here, I am told has a unique history." He paused, and then stepped up very deliberately. "But, I suppose this house is old enough that all twenty-seven steps may have a story of their own to tell."

Jane watched in astonishment as the men climbed the stairs together talking as old friends might. _He guides Papa so gently, calling no attention to his limitations. I have never seen someone take to him so easily before. What a very unusual gentleman. _Suddenly she realized she was too far behind and hurried her steps to catch up.

A few moments later, the party stopped at a door. "This is her room. Mine is across the hall, two doors to the left. I shall wait there in case there is anything you require." Darcy bowed and left them.

Jane knocked once, then opened the heavy door and hurriedly guided her father inside. A warm fire crackled, bathing the room with its soft glow. The drapes were tightly drawn against the storm's chill. Lizzy lay in the center of a large bed piled high with pillows and blankets. She stirred fitfully, mumbling in her sleep.

"Take me to her, Jane," he whispered tensely. She helped him to the bedside, where he perched on the bed beside Lizzy. He listened carefully as she coughed. His hands found her face and caressed her cheek gently.

"Papa?" she murmured, squinting in the dim light.

"Jane and I are here."

"I am sorry that I got caught in the rain." She reached to cover his hand with her own.

"Had you asked, I would have warned you that would happen. I can always smell rain when it is in the air," he rebuked very gently as he brushed sweaty locks form her forehead.

"I am relieved." Elizabeth coughed again as she tried to laugh. "I know that I cannot be too unwell if you scold me so."

Mr. Bennet smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "We have Mrs. Price's assurances that you will make a full recovery, and far be it from me to question her esteemed wisdom. Mr. Palmer, we are told, agrees with her."

"But he certainly left his mark while he was here. The table is full of his preparations." The small table rattled as she bumped it with her knee. She lifted each of the bottles and squinted to read the labels

"And they all taste quite vile…" The rest of Lizzy's comment was lost in a fit of coughing.

"Have you taken the draught of cherry bark yet?" Jane asked. Lizzy shook her head, so Jane found it among the clutter on the table and helped her to take some. "I know it is ghastly, dearest, but drink it anyway. You know how it relieves your coughs."

"Bah!" Lizzy gasped. "Sometimes I wonder if the relief is worth the taste! Is there any water?"

Jane quickly found a small carafe and poured a glass. She pressed it into Lizzy's unsteady hands and helped her take a drink.

"Did you eat anything for dinner last night? Did you break your fast this morning? You must keep up your strength." Mr. Bennet squeezed her knee through the blankets.

"Not yet," she said weakly.

"Then I will see that Mrs. Price sends up a tray with broth, and perhaps a bit of bread and jam." He rose and retraced his steps to the doorway. Jane was immediately at his side. With a hand on the door jamb, he waved her down. "No, you stay here with your sister. I will call Mr. Darcy to assist me." He slipped out the door.

"Mr. Darcy?" Lizzy gasped. "Papa wishes for Mr. Darcy to assist him? He has never done such a thing!" She blinked unbelievingly.

"I know. It is the strangest turn of events." Jane sat beside Lizzy. "Papa has taken quite a shine to your black stallion."

Lizzy rubbed her hand across her eyes. "Please, please, Jane, do not tell him I called him that. It is bad enough that I am an invalid here. I could not face him again if he were to know I said such a thing about him." _I really must stop describing our neighbors so. I always knew it would come back to haunt me one day. _

"Your secret is safe with me." Jane pressed her shoulders to help her lie back down.

Mr. Bennet stepped into the hallway and recognized Darcy's baritone a moment later. "I heard the door; is there anything you require?"

"Lizzy is awake right now, and it would be good for her to break her fast before she sleeps again."

"Shall I call for Mrs. Price?"

"No, no, I would not trouble her so. I would ask for your arm to help me to the kitchen to ask for a bit of broth and tea."

Darcy studied him for a moment, and then shook his head with a wry smile. "It would be far easier to call for a maid and send the request through her."

Mr. Bennet chuckled, "You wish me to admit I have questions for you, sir? Then I shall freely confess that I do."

"Then allow me to send a maid on your errand, and we will make use of Bingley's study and talk over coffee."

"Very well," he acquiesced as he took Darcy's arm.

A few minutes later, Mr. Bennet wrapped his still chilled fingers around a warm coffee cup. He sipped the steaming brew carefully and listened to the fire as it popped behind him. The rain drummed the windows in a steady beat, punctuated by an occasional clap of thunder. "Ah, that is just the stuff for a morning such as this. You are quite the considerate host, Darcy, especially considering that you are a guest here as well."

They laughed companionably for a moment. "So what did you wish to speak of?" Darcy set his coffee cup down with a soft clink.

"You have no patience for small talk, do you, sir?" Bennet chuckled, resting his cup on his knee.

"No, I am afraid it is not my strength." He crossed his long legs and waited.

"Then I will be equally direct." Bennet leaned forward. "Why are you paying for Palmer's preparations for my daughter?"

Darcy sat upright in surprise, his jaw dropping as he searched for words. "How?"

"I know Mr. Palmer well. You can imagine with my condition, I have spent many hours with him. I am familiar with many of his potions, both those I typically purchase from him and those which I eschew." He took another sip of coffee, then set the cup on the table as a loud clap of thunder rattled the windows. "I heard my eldest daughter as she examined the collection he had left. Two in specific have a peculiar, pungent odor. They are particularly expensive. In the past, I have elected to have him prepare less expensive alternatives. He would not have made them up for my daughter unless someone overrode my preferences with a promise to pay for them. That leaves you and Mr. Bingley." Bennet cocked his head and seemed to stare at Darcy. "Since you are the one who is here talking to me…"

Darcy slapped his knee, "I'll be…"

A blind man raising five daughters alone must be very attentive in order to survive." He shrugged. "But do answer my question, sir, and stop squirming like a boy caught stealing shortbread! It is not becoming in a man of your height."

Darcy gulped, feeling for a moment as though he sat before his own father. "I am paying Palmer." He could not look into Bennet's face.

"The question remains, why would a gentleman of your standing risk doing something that could be so easily misconstrued? I am sure you have dodged your share of matchmaking mothers and husband hunting heiresses to be quite aware of the danger in your actions."

Darcy blew out a deep breath and stared out the window. "I feel in part to blame for her condition."

Bennet's expression became troubled as he leaned further forward. "In what way do you consider yourself responsible? Even the master of a very grand estate cannot control the weather."

"I encountered her while I was riding yesterday morning. I needed direction and kept her out longer than she intended, causing her to be caught out in the rain."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Bennet grumbled deep in his throat. "You are a dreadfully bad liar, Mr. Darcy," he leaned back in his chair, "which I happen to find to be a highly desirable trait in a man. But I will still demand the truth."

Darcy's eyes grew wide as he huffed in frustration. "I am not accustomed to being spoken to in this manner." He pushed himself up from his chair and stalked over to the fireplace where he leaned against the mantle.

"I imagine not. But then again, I do not expect you have many occasions to utter such a complete untruth. It would seem you are one who finds disguise abhorrent, given your lack of skill." Darcy raked his hair uneasily. "There is something my daughter does not want me to know, and she had you promise silence. So now you are caught between your word to her and my demands."

With a heavy sigh, Darcy nodded.

"She was racing my stallion in Willard's field again?"

"I will not even ask how you know that, sir." Darcy laughed hard, face in his hands.

"That creature is far too spirited for a lady to ride," he muttered disapprovingly. "None of my grooms can manage him at all; they believe him to be quite unbreakable. Lizzy is the only one who has been able to get that horse to even accept a saddle."

"He is a fine animal, one of the finest I have ever seen." Darcy returned to his seat.

"She did not attempt to ride that beast side saddle, did she?" Bennet cringed as he asked.

Darcy threw back his head and laughed heartily. "I am surprised you do not already know that as well." Bennet grumbled again. "No, sir, she did not."

"Improper though it may be, it is far safer for her to be astride on an animal such as that."

"Safer for everything but her reputation," Darcy added somberly.

"I trust your honor to keep your peace on that matter, sir. You could have no possible need to damage her reputation here. You are not one who would revel in the power to harm one who is no threat to you or yours."

"You are quite correct. No one shall know anything from me." _I am all too aware of the damage that can be done to a woman by a thoughtless word or story told. _

They remained silent for a moment while they sipped their coffee. "So how did you come to find my daughter in Willard's field?"

"Like you, I am an early riser. I was exercising my horse and followed the path to that field. When we got to the clearing, we saw her. My own stallion cannot abide seeing another animal running faster than him. I gave him his head, and he ran with yours."

"Horse racing? With my daughter? On a horse no one else can even saddle, much less ride?" Bennet gasped, scrubbing his face with his hands. "Oh, my Lizzy, she will be the death of me!"

"If you disapprove, why do you not stop her?"

"One could sooner stop this wind and rain, sir." He drew a long sip from his cup and shrugged. "To be sure, if I forbade her, I have no doubt that she would obey. But she would be quite miserable about it. The dear would never complain, never breathe a word about it, but I have no doubt it would crush her spirit." He turned aside as if gazing out the window. "She does so much for me. Life has denied her so many of the pleasures a young woman should have; I am hard pressed to deny her the one thing she has found for herself."

"I am guardian to my younger sister, and find that it is most difficult to deny her anything either." Darcy smiled sadly. _I hope your generosity of spirit does not come to the same end that mine has. Oh, Georgiana! _

"You will not tell Elizabeth that I know?"

"No, I will not."

"I thank you. You seem to be the repository for many confidences today, Mr. Darcy." Bennet raised his coffee cup in a toast.

Suddenly the door burst open, and Bingley rushed through, still straightening his waistcoat. "Mr. Bennet, please do forgive me for not being about when you came to call."

Bennet rose and extended his hand. "Good morning to you, Mr. Bingley. Darcy here makes a fine host in your stead, never fear. It does take some time in the country to become accustomed to rising at dawn. I should offer my apologies for being on your doorstep at such an uncivilized hour."

"Ah, well, yes, I quite understand. Mrs. Prince warned me last night that it was likely you should come to us early this morning. I perfectly understand your concern for her." Bingley smiled. "How fares Miss Elizabeth this morning?"

"She is quite ill and cannot be moved, I fear. But we have good hopes for her convalescence," Bennet answered calmly. "My eldest daughter is with her right now."

"You must stay with us until she has recovery, both you and Miss Bennet. I know Miss Elizabeth will be much easier to have you both here with her. I will ring for Price to make up the rooms right now."

_ He is a spaniel puppy, so eager to please ._ Bennet smiled to himself. "That is very gracious of you. I will be most indebted to your hospitality."

"Do you need to send to Longbourn for a trunk?" Bingley asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I took the liberty of bringing one with us on the chance we might be staying on."

Darcy chuckled under his breath. _He is not a man to be denied. _

"Excellent. I hope you and your daughter will make yourselves comfortable. I look forward to making her acquaintance. You are quite welcome here."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The sun had already progressed well toward its zenith when Mary finally made her way into the morning room. _I cannot believe how long I slept today. Without Lizzy and Papa here to rise early, the house is so very quiet. _Bright sun streamed through the windows, reflecting off the china on the table. She sighed heavily as she looked at the three place settings where there should be six. _I miss my sisters and papa. I never thought I would miss reading to him at night, but last night felt so empty! Lydia and Kitty enjoyed the freedom to amuse themselves as they chose, but something was just not right. This is too much the way it felt when we lost Mama. What is this? _Mary picked up a piece of paper with Jane's handwriting that had been left at her father's place. _I wonder when this arrived. I wish Hill had given this to me directly. I must tell her to do so in the future. _She hurriedly unfolded the note and began to read.

Pounding footsteps echoed from the staircase, and Lydia ran past her, jostling the paper in her hands. "Lydia, please!" she cried, dodging her sister.

"That is my bonnet!" Kitty cried, pushing past Mary. "Give it to me. I did not say you could take it!"

"You said I might trim it with that new ribbon you got in town last week. I will do that, _after _I have worn it today!" Lydia danced around the small table.

"It is mine! I want to wear it!" Kitty protested shrilly.

"But it looks so well with my dress! It suits me much better than you anyway." She put the bonnet on and pulled the brim around her face. "You can wear my old straw one with the white lace and flowers."

"You know I hate that straw bonnet. It is not fair; give me what is mine!" She chased Lydia around the table, finally trying to reach across to snatch the hat away.

"Both of you, stop it now!" Mary scolded, taking Kitty by the shoulder. "You will break the crystal if you keep that up!"

"What does it matter? It will all go to that dreadful Mr. Collins when he inherits Longbourn anyway!" Lydia snapped.

"No it will not; this was Mama's, and does not belong to the estate," Mary corrected. "Not that it should make any difference. Settle yourselves now." Lydia harrumphed and Kitty pouted. "Sit down, both of you, and have breakfast."

"You sound just like Lizzy," Lydia complained, rolling her eyes. "Sit down and mind your manners or I will have you write an essay on conduct," she mimicked, hands on her hips.

_ I wish she were here. She always knows what to do when they quarrel like this. _"Lydia!"

Grudgingly, both girls sat down and began to help themselves. Satisfied, Mary took her seat. She procured a piece of toast and buttered it before she returned to the note. "Jane writes to say that Lizzy is only slightly improved, and Mr. Palmer still insists she is not to be moved." She nibbled her piece of toast. "The correspondence is piling up on Papa's desk. I suppose I should have it sent to Netherfield. Who would have thought so much would arrive in just these few days?"

"Well, I think dealing with all those letters sounds just dreary," Lydia declared, flouncing in her seat. "Kitty and I are going to call upon Maria Lucas and then go into town."

Mary glanced at them warningly. "I will have Hill pack a trunk for Lizzy so she will have her things there when she feels better. I think it best that you two take the time to visit Jane and Papa and see the trunk delivered."

"No! Mary, we already have plans!" Kitty moaned, landing her hands on the table hard enough to rattle the dishes.

"But Mary, we remembered father's warning, and we have something useful to do while we are there. Hill has several things she needs taken to Aunt Philips, and several orders she needs placed with the merchants. We are not solely bent on pleasure," Lydia explained through a mouthful.

"Mind your manners, Lydia!" Mary rebuked. "I do not know…"

"But Hill is counting on us to do these things on her behalf," Kitty begged, gripping the table hard.

"Do not fear, we will be good as gold." Lydia batted her eyes innocently.

"It is not me you have to convince," Mary warned severely. "If father hears of you even looking at the officers in town…"

"I promise he will hear of no such thing," Lydia insisted, popping up from her seat. She grabbed Kitty by the hand. "Come, let us be off. Maria said she wanted to make an early start of it."

"Kitty…" Mary glared.

"Papa will hear nothing to trouble him," Kitty insisted.

Mary shook her head and watched them go. _I do not trust them, but what am I to do with them? Lizzy and Jane would know, but Kitty and Lydia do not listen to me, no matter what._ She sighed and returned to her toast. _Perhaps I shall see the trunk to Netherfield myself this afternoon, if it does not rain._

Kitty shifted the heavy basket on her arm. "Why do I have to carry this?"

"Because you know I will only drop it." Lydia laughed, skipping ahead. "And Hill will be most displeased if that happens."

"But that is not fair, Lyddie!" Kitty pouted. "At least help…"

"Oh, do stop your fussing. I was the one who figured out how to get out from under Mary's sharp eye. Is that not enough? We are nearly at our aunt's. Once we have finished our errand there, the basket will be much lighter."

True to Lydia's word, they arrived at the Philipses' house shortly thereafter and spent a pleasant quarter of an hour visiting. As they left, Kitty whispered, "Do you think she will remember we told her Maria overslept in case—"

"No one will ask, Kitty, you worry far too much. You sound like Jane and Lizzy! Is it not cruel enough that we shall have to be like them soon? We must have our fun now!" Lydia reassured, taking the nearly empty basket from her and swinging it merrily. "Those errands for Hill should not take long. We should be able to make it to Lucas Lodge in plenty of time." Kitty hurried to keep up.

"Do come in, girls!" Lady Lucas greeted them enthusiastically. "I am so glad that you were able to come. I am sorry to see that your sister Mary did not join you." They handed their wraps and bonnets to the maid and hurried to follow their hostess.

"Thank you for your invitation, Lady Lucas," Kitty quickly replied. "Mary was required at home this afternoon. She regretted being unable to get away."

"I understand, of course. You all are such good girls, the way you always attend your father. Perhaps next time Mary will be able to be with us."

"I am sure she would like that very much," Lydia smiled.

"The Forsters just arrived. Mrs. Forster is such a lovely lady, and so very young, not much older than yourselves, I think," Lady Lucas said just above a whisper. "They were so gracious as to bring several of their officers with them as well."

Lydia and Kitty followed her into the drawing room. "May I present Miss Kitty Bennet and Miss Lydia Bennet of Longbourn. Girls, this is Colonel Forster, Mrs. Forster, Captain Harper, and Lieutenants Carter, Denny, and Wickham."

Later that afternoon, Kitty and Lydia hurried back to Longbourn. Dark clouds rapidly gathered overhead and a chill wind whipped their skirts.

"I knew we should have taken the gig," Kitty muttered angrily, kicking the ground and glancing up at the angry sky. "Can you not smell the rain approaching?"

"You do not know how to drive it well enough! Besides, someone would surely recognize it. Everyone always does," Lydia retorted sarcastically. "If we hurry, we shall make it home before it rains." She gazed upwards. "See those clouds are not so very dark yet."

A gust of wind buffeted them. "We should have left earlier." Kitty pulled her shawl more tightly around her. "You always have us caught in the rain."

Lydia skipped ahead. "Who knows when we shall be able to meet with them all again? Papa is so unreasonable! Mrs. Forster was a perfectly nice woman, and she is just seventeen! What a match she has made! Would it not be wonderful to make such a match?" She twirled about and came to a stop facing Kitty. "Lieutenant Wickham was perfectly charming, do you not think so! He's so tall … so handsome in his uniform."

"I would not know," Kitty turned her face away disdainfully. "You kept him to yourself."

"Just because he liked me better is no reason for you to pout. You could have…"

"Been as forward and unladylike as you?"

"You sound like Lizzy and Jane!" She skipped around her sister. "Ladies are demure. Ladies do not express themselves so loudly. Ladies do not draw attention to themselves. Ladies do not have any fun!"

"I do not sound like that!" Kitty crossed her arms and glared. "Besides, did you not find the way they stared at us to be ungentlemanly?"

"How would we know how a gentleman looks at anything?" She whirled on her sister. "We live with a blind man!"

"Lydia! How could you say such things?" Thick clouds rolled across the sky and thunder rumbled in the distance. "Come, we must be on our way!" Kitty reached for her hand, but she snatched it away.

"Because they are true!" She stomped her foot. "I am tired of it, Kitty! Are you not? All we do is work and follow Papa's rules. We have no fun! He lets us do nothing and expects us…"

"To be useful. What is wrong with that?" Kitty stared at Lydia as she lifted up the empty basket over her head. "Lydia, do not…" Lydia threw the basket down. Kitty retrieved it, brushing the dirt away and clutched it tightly as the wind tried to pull it out of her hands.

"I do not want to be useful! I want to go to balls and parties and dance with officers! I am tired of reading books." She screwed up her face and her voice became high and nasal, " Elegant Extracts: or useful and entertaining Passages in Prose selected for the Improvement of Scholars at Classical and other Schools in the Art of Speaking, in Reading, Thinking, Composing; and in the Conduct of Life How completely droll. Or Elegant Epistles: or, A Copious Collection of Familiar and Amusing Letters, selected for the Improvement of Young Persons, and for General Entertainment which is even worse. I care not for Cicero and Pliny and Johnson. If I must read, let me read novels with 'Sorrows,' 'Feelings' or 'Heart' in their titles, not more sermons by Fordyce!"

"You know such sentimental novels are improper." A solitary cold raindrop landed on Kitty's cheek. "It is starting to rain, let us go." She took several steps, but Lydia did not follow.

"I do not care about learning to write ledgers and hearing about crops and animals and tenants! I do not care about sheep and horses and farmers. They have no feeling, no passion!" She ran ahead and grabbed Kitty's hands and spun her around. "I am young and pretty! Did you not hear the officers say so? I do not want to waste it working like a servant when I could be—"

"Lydia!" Kitty scolded severely, dragging Lydia to a stop. She wiped another large cold rain drop from her face. "You sound as if you are not grateful to have Papa with us. Do you not realize that if he had not survived, Mr. Collins would have thrown us into the hedgerows ten years ago? We would have had no dowries and little to live on—we would be living on the charity of our uncles."

"At least mama would be alive. She was so pretty and lively; she certainly would have remarried. That is what Aunt Philips has always said." Her posture shifted to mimic her aunt. "'Such a shame it is that your father shall never remarry. You girls should have a mother. You know had he died of his injuries as we all expected him to do, your mother would have remarried. There was more than one man in town that would have taken her, despite you five girls.'"

"How can you say such a thing?"

"I did not say it, Aunt Philips did!" Lydia leaned in close to Kitty's face. The wind swirled around them, plastering their skirts to their legs.

"You should not repeat them!" Kitty hissed, a volley of cold drops hitting her face.

"I wish he had died instead of her!" Lydia shouted and stormed away.

"It is raining again," Jane said softly from the parlor window. _I must admit I am glad, for it will keep Lydia and Kitty home today. I am sure they went out yesterday whilst the weather was still fine. I do so hope they have not tried to disobey Papa. _

"I dare say I have not seen so much rain in quite a long time," Bingley said looking over her shoulder. "Are the roads here prone to flooding?"

"Not usually, sir," she answered as she turned and smiled.

"Well, that is good to know. Would you care for some tea? Mrs. Price just brought it in."

"I would very much, thank you." Jane followed him to sit near his sisters.

"I have a lovely blend of Pekoe today, Miss Bennet," Caroline said as she made a show of opening the silver tea caddy and spooning out the precious tea leaves. "I imagine the chandler in town only deals in bohea and singlo. I am sure you are accustomed to their flavors." She smiled thinly. "I trust you shall find this much superior."

Bingley scratched his chin, frowning. _ What is she about, suggesting that the Bennets can only afford the cheapest of teas? Is she forgetting how dearly that gunpowder there cost us? _

Jane accepted the cup and sipped it delicately. "This is a delightful blend."

"It is a favorite of mine. A very rare treat for you, I imagine." Caroline added two lumps of sugar to her cup and stirred it delicately, her spoon never making a sound against the delicate china.

"Perhaps not as rare as you might imagine," Jane said softly. "Our chandler does carry a selection of the better teas, but most often we get our tea directly from Twining's Tea Warehouse. We have a special blend that they prepare for us."

Caroline suddenly began to choke and set her teacup down with a clatter.

"My uncle in London is quite good friends with Mr. Richard Twining. Uncle Gardiner usually procures most of our tea for us." Jane blinked sweetly.

Bingley pursed his lips hard to suppress his smirk. He chanced a glance at Jane and noted the soft twinkle in her eyes. He coughed into his fist to disguise his laughter.

Recovering her composure, Caroline asked, "How fares Miss Eliza today?"

Jane took another sip from her cup. "My sister, Lizzy ," she lingered over her sister's name, "is a bit better, thank you. Perhaps tomorrow she will be able to join us below stairs for a bit."

"I am certain we would all enjoy that." Bingley smiled broadly.

"I know she would very much." Jane matched his smile and sampled a biscuit. "She does not prefer to be indoors so much. This has been trying on her spirit."

"I suppose it is the mark of a true lady to bear such trials with equanimity," Caroline observed with a glance at her sister.

"I did not mean to intimate that my sister was complaining in any way." Jane's jaw dropped at the accusation.

"Certainly not," Louisa soothed. "I believe Caroline was only making a general observation." She cast a warning glance at her sister.

Bingley tugged anxiously at his cravat. "I heard there was an assembly to be held in Meryton at the full moon."

"There is indeed, sir." Jane beamed at him gratefully. "Do you and your party intend to attend?"

She is beautiful when she smiles! He suddenly realized he had been staring and shook his head slightly. "Oh, ah, do you find the assemblies here agreeable? Will you and your sisters attend?"

"They are a most agreeable pastime. My sisters love to dance. We are certainly planning to attend."

"Your sisters? All your sisters?" Caroline gasped. "They are all out? But you are not married! The younger ones are out before the older are married?"

Jane started and blinked uncertainly. _She is quite determined to be displeased. _

"Caroline!" Bingley said sharply. "This is not a London ball where many parties unknown to one another mingle. I am quite certain that nearly everyone is known to everybody else, and the younger girls are quite carefully chaperoned by their—"

"Uncle," Jane finished for him. _He is so ready to defend our family to his sister. Lizzy was right about him. _"Lydia and Kitty only stand up with those my uncle approves. Mary does not usually care to dance." Jane flashed him another grateful smile.

"You see, there can be no impropriety in that," Bingley agreed.

Across the room, Darcy and Bennet sat bent over a chess board, both trying to ignore the conversation on the other side of the room. "Are you certain that is your move, sir?" Darcy asked, his hand still on the white knight Bennet had instructed him to move.

"Absolutely. I think you will understand soon enough." He paused dramatically for a moment, "Check and mate." His lips twitched as he suppressed a triumphant smile.

Darcy frowned and blinked as he studied the board. His eyes widened. "I did not see that coming. I am astonished, truly astonished."

"That I can play chess, or that you were beaten?" He cocked his head in amusement.

"To be entirely honest, both. I must confess that I am rarely beaten, especially—"

"By a blind man?"

"No, sir," Darcy's voice turned very serious. "You go too far now. I have never…"

"You are correct, I beg your pardon. Sometimes I allow my humor to go a bit too far. Please forgive me." Bennet extended his hand slightly.

"I will, as long as you do not make such an implication again." Darcy shook his hand firmly.

They both heard Hurst's heavy steps behind them. "So you have been bested at your own game, I see!" He slapped Darcy's shoulder. "I dare say it has been a while since I have seen that happen! It is about time that you finally tip your king." He chuckled warmly.

Darcy pushed back in his chair and rose. "I believe Mr. Bennet is up for another game." He gestured for Hurst to take his place.

"I do not mind if I do." The large man settled into the seat. "Pull up a chair there, Darcy." He lowered his voice as he began to reset the board, "You would best join us lest you find yourself prey to my sister!"

Darcy rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Need I ask?" Bennet asked with a slight smirk. _ The heron seeks a prey far too large to swallow. _

"Certainly not," Darcy harrumphed.

"Will you take the opening move, sir?" Hurst offered, chuckling. "You should consider yourself lucky, Darcy. Your sister is so much younger than you; you are more father than brother to her."

"And you believe that an easier task?" Bennet guffawed. "Pawn to king four. So how young is your sister, Darcy?"

Shifting uncomfortably as he moved the chess piece as Bennet directed, Darcy mumbled, "She is but sixteen." Bennet's head snapped toward him, giving him the distinct impression of being stared at. _Does nothing escape his notice? _

"Pawn to queen's rook five." Hurst placed his pawn heavily on the board. The frame of the chair groaned as he leaned back. "Certainly young enough to be told what to do," he laughed, "and young enough for you not to take any cheek from her."

Bennet began to laugh and slapped Darcy's knee. "Spoken like a man with no daughters! Shall we set him straight?"

"I am hardly in a position to refute him; she is not my daughter." _Not to mention that I have been a poor excuse of a guardian for her. You must already suspect that, though you are too generous to say so. _

"Queen to king's bishop three. While that may be true, it does not change the fact that you have been an authority over her, and as such, you have been the focus of her tempers and her fancies."

Darcy leaned in to move Bennet's queen. He looked quizzically at the board, and then bit his lip to hide his smile. _ Oh, Hurst! _"I suppose my sister is too far in awe of her elder brother to show me her tempers." _Not that it made any difference; she was ready to defy me easily enough. _

"Then you may consider yourself a lucky man." Bennet rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "In a houseful of young women, I assure you there are as many tempers and nervous symptoms as any man can tolerate."

"Surely it cannot be as bad as that!" Hurst clucked his tongue and glanced at Jane. "It seems Miss Bennet has soothed all within her influence, even Caroline looks at peace now. Surely there can be little strife in a household where she is present."

Bennet smiled broadly. "Jane has a talent for mediating and bringing peace. That is undeniable. But at times, four younger sisters prove too much, even for her. Now tell me, Hurst, have you ever been caught between your wife and her sister squabbling over a length of ribbon to trim a bonnet?"

"No."

"Imagine if you will, sitting quietly, trying to listen as the paper is being read and having two agitated young ladies circling about you like a pair of hound puppies circling an old shoe, shrieking over rights to said bauble while reaching over your shoulders to try to snatch it from one another." Bennet leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Pawn to king's bishop five." Hurst moved the piece brusquely. "No, I have to admit, I have not. Although, between us gentlemen, I will say a few of their arguments have been much as you just described."

The three men chuckled companionably. From the corner of his eye, Darcy examined the board again and struggled not to allow his expression to reveal too much.

"Then, perhaps I must tip my hat to your experiences, Hurst. However, queen to king's rook five—checkmate, the game is mine." Bennet's wry grin lit his face.

Hurst's attention snapped back to the board as he stared dumbfounded. "No, it cannot be! Confound it! I know I am not a player of Darcy's caliber, but you have bested me in just three moves! Surely you could have shown some mercy, Bennet!"

Jane appeared just behind her father's shoulder. "Are you up to your old tricks, Papa?" she inquired lightly.

Bennet reached up to find her hand hovering above his shoulder. "An old man must have ways of entertaining himself, you know, dear."

"It is generally recommended that you do not do so at the expense of your hosts," she teased. "As I understand, the accepted etiquette is that you lose at least the first two games out of courtesy."

Hurst laughed heartily, slapping his thighs. "You must listen to your daughter, sir, for she clearly understands the propriety of all things. There are few ladies I have met who show such an intimate understanding of the proprieties of chess when you are a house guest."

"Then perhaps it is time for you to refresh my memory, dear." He rose and found Jane's elbow. "Shall we go see to your sister? Then, both of you can ensure that I am properly tutored in the delicacies of a visitor's etiquette. By your leave, gentlemen." He bowed slightly as Jane curtsied, and they left the room together.

A moment later, Caroline stomped to the chess table, her skirts swishing in irritation. "The cheek of that man and his daughter! I have never seen…"

"Oh, Caroline!" Bingley huffed, striding to her side. "You are entirely too easily offended."

"Listen to your brother," Hurst insisted, "they are delightful company. I can think of hardly an afternoon spent more enjoyably."

"Mr. Darcy shall agree with me, will you not, sir?" She turned to him insistently. "Their manners are most unsuitable; they behave as though this was Twickenham or Richmond! Do you not find them so?"

He grumbled under his breath. "Their manners are not those of the first circles."

"There, you see! Charles, he agrees with me, Mr. Darcy finds them rude and unmannerly…"

Darcy rose and towered over Caroline. "No, I did not say that. I would thank you, Miss Bingley, not to put words in my mouth. Never have I suggested that the Bennets are in any way rude. These are not the first circles, and this is not a London peer's drawing room. This is a country manor, and Mr. Bennet is a country gentlemen, as am I. It would serve you well to remember that." He nodded sharply. "If you will excuse me." He turned and left the room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Early the next morning, Lizzy stirred and saw the first rays of dawn peeking around the edges of the drapes. With a yawn, she slipped out of bed and stretched deeply. She took a deep breath and smiled. _That dreadful cough is gone! No more need for that horrid infusion! _Her stomach grumbled loudly. _I need to break my fast. But I am sure I need to feel the sun on my face even more! I dare not go out for a walk. I do not wish to worry Papa that way. But the morning room opens onto the garden, and there is a bench just outside the door. Surely I can sit there for a few minutes without risking anyone's distressed. _

She dressed quickly, glad to find her own morning dress in the wardrobe. _I do not feel like myself wearing someone else's clothes! Jane is so very considerate. _She fastened the last of the small buttons and pulled a warm shawl from the chair. Wrapping it around her shoulders, she quickly slipped out the door.

The household was quiet as she made her way to the morning room. Cheerful sunlight streamed through the windows, and the garden door was ajar. She pushed it further open and paused to savor the smell of the morning air. Closing her eyes, she allowed the cool air fill her lungs. A peaceful smile lit her face. With a content sigh, she dusted off the bench and sat down. Leaning back on her hands, she shut her eyes again and listened to the sounds of the morning: birds twittered and warbled, a horse nickered, and cows lowed.

Footsteps approaching drew her attention back. When she opened her eyes, she expected to see one of the housemaids, but saw, instead, the looming form of Mr. Darcy.

"Miss Elizabeth, are you well? Should you be out in the morning air?" he asked, pausing at the garden bench.

"Mr. Darcy! Thank you; yes, I am quite improved this morning." She smiled softly.

"I am sure your father will be most pleased to know. He has been quite concerned."

"I am dreadfully sorry to have worried him so." She rose gracefully. "Were you riding Surtur this morning?"

"Yes, I was." He quickly looked away.

Clearing her throat, she put her hands on her hips. "You were seeing to Toppur as well." She cocked her head waiting for an answer. "You had to see if you could approach the horse that none of the grooms could." Her eyes narrowed as she stared into his eyes. "And you were successful as well. Our stallion accepted you…and you were not bested by a country maiden. Your reputation as a horseman remains secure." Her eyes twinkled gaily.

Darcy rolled his eyes and huffed. "You are just like your father!"

Lizzy laughed merrily and sat back down. "I suppose his ways do rub off when one spends enough time with him."

Darcy sat down beside her. "I feel sorry for your sons, madam, for they shall get by with nothing. A boy should always be able to have some small concealment from his mother."

She looked away. "I shall never have sons, so your fears are for naught."

"How can you predict the future? Though your mother had none does not mean that you will not. Besides, does not every man wish for an heir?" He peered at her carefully.

Her shoulders drooped and she blushed, feeling his eyes on her. "I shall have no sons for I shall never marry."

Darcy drew in a sharp breath. "But…"

Elizabeth turned to look him in the eye. The early morning sun glistened off the unshed tears in her eyes. She quickly blinked them back. "I find that I must be a realist, sir. It is what has kept my family through all that we have experienced. My mother pushed us all to do what we must to keep body and soul together, and we have. My father has the dignity of being respected in our community and running his own estate. My sisters are respectable girls with sufficient dowries. My family needs me to make sure all of that continues.

"But that has left me something no respectable man would desire, dowry or no. What gentleman wants a wife accustomed to managing an estate herself? Much less, one that races an unmanageable stallion, riding astride at dawn? A gentleman does not wish for a hoyden as a wife." Tears filled her eyes again, and she turned her face away. "But, I have accepted what must be and will continue to do what must be done, though it means I will have no sons… or daughters." Her throat tightened and choked her voice. "Excuse me, I should go back inside." With a swish of her skirts, she was gone.

Darcy stared at the empty spot on the bench. _I had no idea._ _That is a conversation I did not expect to have. Never have I had a woman tell me she did not consider herself a parti(1) I have become so accustomed to defending myself on the marriage mart that I have always expected women to look at me that way. How odd to find one that does not. _He lifted his hat and raked back his hair. _I dare say she is right though. There are few gentlemen I know who would welcome a wife who could manage their estate better than they. Though, I know a few estates that would be better off under her management. The first circles would never accept her; she could not marry among them. Then again, Bingley's sisters censure her and her sisters strongly, too. I fear many of the lower gentry would shun her as well. In all likelihood, the only ones who would accept her are those here in her community. I cannot imagine there would be many here who would appreciate her tastes in reading, if her father's tastes are any indication. _The cold of the stone bench had seeped through the buckskin of his breeches. He pushed himself up heavily. _Alas, it is a shame that she should pay so high a price when she has done nothing wrong and everything right; yet, I may be able to protect Georgiana from the effects of her very real folly. _He grumbled deep in his throat. _ Miss Elizabeth is such a strong woman. Surely her children would have her strength. If only Georgiana had had such fortitude. _He blew out a deep breath, straightened his coat and returned to the morning room.

"How fares your sister this morning?" Bingley asked as he served himself a plate for breakfast. "Your father said that she came below stairs earlier."

"Lizzy is doing better today, thank you. She came down and found a little fresh air before the exercise became too much for her and she had to return to her rooms. When I left her, she was sleeping again. I have hopes that she might yet be able to join us for a bit later this afternoon. But I fear she is not ready to be moved home just yet. We must impose on your hospitality for a little while longer," Jane replied as she buttered her muffin.

"You are no imposition at all. In fact, I find the company quite invigorating. Your father is quite an amiable fellow."

"He is indeed." A comfortable silence fell for a few minutes until Jane observed, "It seems the weather has become very fine today. I should visit Longbourn."

"The weather has turned, though I fear that the road will be quite sodden and in no condition to be trod on foot."

"Might I trouble you, sir, to send a servant to Longbourn to summon our carriage? Papa wishes for me to check on my sisters. They are not accustomed to being left to themselves."

"Louisa asked me to take her into town today. Would it be agreeable for you to accompany us in our carriage? We can take you to Longbourn on the way into Meryton and then return for you when we are finished." Bingley blinked hopefully.

"I do not wish to be any trouble, sir…" she protested softly.

"It would be our pleasure indeed. Perhaps on the way, you can instruct Louisa on the best shops in town."

Nearly an hour later, Jane departed for Longbourn with Bingley and Louisa. In the absence of Caroline, the conversation was congenial, and the time passed very quickly. Soon she left the carriage and lighted on Longbourn's doorstep. Mrs. Hill immediately greeted her and took her wrap.

Rapid steps down the stairs echoed in the foyer. A moment later, Mary's face appeared. "Jane!" She hurried to embrace her sister. "Jane! I am so glad you are here!" She gulped back a little cry.

Jane gasped under the force of her sister's hold around her waist. "Mary, dearest, what is wrong? Where are Kitty and Lydia? I was certain they would be below stairs by now."

"That is why I am so glad you are here. They rose early this morning and went into town," Mary explained, wringing her hands.

"Come, sit down and explain everything to me." Jane led her to the parlor. "Now tell me, why you are so troubled by their early journey this morning. Did they not have some useful purpose?"

"They did, I think. I cannot be sure now. You know how Lydia can be. Once she starts talking she just keeps going, and sometimes I lose track of what it is she has said. I find myself agreeing with her just so she will be quiet again." A little sob escaped as she chewed her knuckle.

"Mary, what do you suppose they are doing in town?"

"They have spoken of nothing but officers and the regiment since you and Papa have been gone!" Mary cried, clutching at her skirts, and crushing the pale blue lawn in her hands.

"Surely they are not disobeying Papa, not after he was so very clear with them the other night?" Jane rose and walked to the window. "No, that cannot be. Surely they could not be so determined to disobey him."

"I did not believe so, but Jenny, the new maid, told Missy that her sister told her that Lady Lucas had a tea for Colonel Forster and his wife, and they brought several of the officers with them."

"I do not understand why that is a problem."

"Because Missy said that Jenny said that her sister had seen Kitty and Lydia there as well." Mary shook her hands in frustration. "I knew they would do something untoward! I should not have let them go…"

Jane placed a calming hand on her sister's shoulder. "Stop blaming yourself, Mary; they are responsible for their own conduct. Are you certain, though, that it was them at Lady Lucas's?" Mary nodded miserably. "Then there seems only one thing to do. I shall take the gig and fetch them from town. Clearly they cannot be trusted on their own. They shall not be permitted to go out unescorted as long as the regiment stays."

"What shall I do whilst you are gone?"

"Pack a small trunk for me. Give me a moment, and I shall make you a list. There are a few things that would be a comfort to Lizzy…."

"Oh, Lizzy! How horrid of me not to even ask!" Mary covered her face with her hands for a moment. "How is she?"

"She is better, but not yet herself. She was out of her rooms for a short bit before I rose this morning. By the time I went to check on her, she had already returned as quite a brown study(2), which is entirely unlike her. I do not know if it was the effects of the fever or perhaps she just tried to do too much. I would like to bring a few things that might soothe her spirits."

"And Papa?"

"He is well; surprisingly well, in fact. He seems to get on famously with Mr. Darcy, Lizzy's black stallion . He even permits Mr. Darcy to guide him about Netherfield. It is the most singular thing. I thought he would be sick with worry for Lizzy, but he seems to have found his equanimity directly."

"He has great faith in Mr. Palmer's preparations," Mary noted, some of the tension leaving her shoulders.

_He seems to have great faith in Mr. Darcy as well, though I am not certain I understand. _"Let me prepare that list for you so that I can go on to town. The Bingleys are to return for me later this afternoon, and I do not wish to be out when they arrive."

A quarter hour later, Jane called for the gig to be readied, and a quarter of an hour after that, she was on her way into town. The week's storms had taken their toll on the road. Many new ruts and hollows had opened up, each filled with mud, so her progress what much slower than she had desired.

_Now where to begin looking for them? Perhaps Aunt Philips would know; but if I go there, I will be obliged to stay for a visit, and I do not have time for that. Perhaps the milliner's shop, as that is Lydia's favorite. _Jane drew the gig to a stop besidethe small shop and jumped down to inquire of the shopkeeper. Her sisters had indeed been there much earlier that morning, but she had no idea of where they might have gone. Jane thanked her and left, struggling to contain her frustration.

Visits to the draper, the lace maker and the hosier produced similar results. The shoemaker, though, had overheard them saying they were fagged and planned on visiting the tea shop next. With a heavy sigh, Jane took off in that direction. Although they were not in the tea shop, the serving girl had just seen them on their way.

"Yes, ma'am, dey was jes' 'ere," the girl said as she curtsied. "Whilst dey was 'ere, two officers came ta join dem, dey did. Dey said dey was meetin' dere friend at da pawnbroker."

Jane huffed and rolled her eyes. She withdrew a penny from her purse and pressed it into the girl's hand. "Thank you, that is very helpful." She hurried out of the tea shop only to step into a deep puddle. "Bother!" she hissed, jumping back and trying to shake the mud from her skirts and half-boots, but the nankeen had already soaked through, the cold water now chilling her foot. Jane grumbled under her breath. With a final flip of her skirt, she continued on her trek.

Though she knew its location, the pawnbroker was not a place she had ever visited. It sat at the end of a narrow, dark alley that her father insisted she and her sisters avoid. A gin shop occupied the space nearest the main street; several rough looking men and a farmer Jane recognized stood outside its doors. She tensed uncomfortably as she noticed the looks they cast her way. The used clothes merchant who stood at the doorway to his shop on the other side of the street gave her a similar appraisal. She shuddered and hurried along, trying not to see the bawdy illustrations in the window of the print shop. Despite the effort, she felt herself blush at the images of the bare-breasted women. _ Oh, Lydia, what have you done? Kitty, why have you followed? _

She heard Lydia's high, tittering laugh, and felt weak with relief, nearly running the rest of the way to the pawnbroker. Kitty and Lydia stood outside with two men in regimentals. A uniformed man exited the shop, wearing a satisfied smile.

"Jane!" Kitty gasped, blanching at her sister's angry expression.

"Oh, Jane!" Lydia cried and waved her sister toward them. "Come meet our new friends."

Jane glowered and stalked to her sister's side.

"Jane, meet Lt. Carter and Lt. Denny," she said as she wound her hand into the crook of the third's elbow, "and this is Lt. Wickham." She smiled up flirtatiously into his face.

"And this is no place for a young lady!" Jane snapped, reaching for her sister's arm. "Good day, gentlemen. You will excuse us; my sisters are needed at home immediately." She grabbed Kitty's arm with the other hand and pulled them toward her.

"But, Jane, we were…" Kitty protested.

"You cannot do this! You are embarrassing me!" Lydia shrieked.

"You have done this to yourself," Jane hissed. "Now be quiet and do not cause any further scene. If you continue to fuss, you will only look worse." Her grip on their arms tightened, but they did not struggle. Jane hurried her sisters down the alley and back out into the main street. Once there, she breathed a sigh of relief and released their arms.

"How dare you—" Lydia began angrily.

"Hold your tongue." Jane whirled on her. "You have disobeyed father not once, but twice. He forbade you from having anything to do with the regiment, and he told you never to go down that alley. What can you possibly say for yourselves? No, I do not wish to hear it! Both of you, up in the gig, now!" Her face was flushed, and her hands shook as she tried to untie the reins.

"But the gig is only meant for two," Kitty whined. "Let us walk home; it is better than squashing up."

Jane threw her an icy stare. "You were permitted to walk into town, and look what happened. I will not allow you out of my sight until we are back at Longbourn. Now get in."

"Have a care, Kitty, you are crushing my bonnet," Lydia squealed as Kitty pushed her way onto the seat of the gig.

"Then scoot over and give me room!" She pushed her sister's shoulder.

"I have none!" Lydia scolded, returning the shove.

"Stop it, you cap pulls!" Jane flicked the reins, and the bay took off at a rapid clip.

The younger girls quarreled all the way, shouting and grumbling over every rock and hollow in the road. By the time they were at Longbourn, Jane's head ached from clenching her jaws the whole way home. "Get down, now."

Kitty and Lydia quickly obeyed and dashed into the house. Jane took a deep breath before accepting the groom's hand down from the gig. Mary met her at the door. "It was what you expected," Jane said softly, squeezing her hand briefly.

"I told them to wait for you in the parlor," Mary said, squeezing back. Together they walked into the house.

Kitty and Lydia sat on opposite sides of the room, arms crossed and pouting. They both stared at Jane as she entered. As if on cue, they began talking at once.

Jane lifted her hand, palm up. "I do not want to hear."

"You must listen!" Lydia insisted.

"You always listen. You always hear both sides…" Kitty added.

"There is nothing you can say that will make this any better. You can have no possible excuse, aside from your own willfulness, for disobeying Papa so completely." Jane lowered herself slowly into a chair while Mary stood behind her shoulder.

"You are not being fair! You must hear us out!" Lydia sprang to her feet and stomped.

"You both have proven that you are not trustworthy, so you shall be treated accordingly," Jane declared levelly. "Neither of you is permitted to leave Longbourn until Papa returns. You may not so much as go out into the gardens unless Hill or Wallace accompanies you. You will not go near the stables, ride, or drive the gig. You will not receive company of any kind."

"No, no, no!" Lydia stamped her foot with each word. "We promised Lady Lucas—"

"You most certainly cannot attend any more teas with Lady Lucas." Jane clutched her temples, groaning softly.

"But it would be rude not to be there; we already promised!" Kitty begged. "You are making a Cheltenham tragedy(3) of this!"

"You think that this is nothing? It bothers you to be rude, but you feel no remorse in disobeying Papa?" Jane huffed out a deep breath.

"How would you understand? You are already an old tabby! We are young and pretty. We need to set our caps before we become ape leaders(4) like you and Lizzy!" Lydia tossed her head scornfully.

"Better that than the bacon-brained chits you seem to have become," Jane snapped. Her sisters all stared, wide-eyed, mouths agape. She immediately regretted her harsh words and sagged back in her chair. "We shall have no more discussion on this matter. Both of you go upstairs while I instruct Hill and Wallace. I will be on my way back to Netherfield shortly." She turned to Mary. "Hill and Wallace will help you to enforce what I have set down. Do not hesitate to ask for their assistance."

"We are not children to be bossed about by servants!" Lydia took several steps toward Jane.

"Your behavior says otherwise. Now go upstairs before I ask them to assist you in doing so." Jane's voice was barely a whisper.

Gulping back a sob, Kitty rushed from the room, her heavy footsteps loud on the stairs. Her slamming door echoed through the house. Lydia and Jane stared at one another for a long moment. "Mary, get Hill."

Lydia stomped out of the room and upstairs. A short time later, Hill and Wallace returned with Mary. Jane quietly explained their new duties minding Lydia and Kitty. Finally, with a heavy sigh, she dismissed them.

Only Mary remained, a pained expression on her face. "I am so sorry, Jane; I should have found a way to keep them home."

"Short of tying them to the bed posts, you could not have kept them if they were not willing to be kept." Jane patted her shoulder. "It is not your fault, but I need you to send word to me immediately if you find them unmanageable again."

"I will, Jane, I promise."

"I will go to Papa's study now to retrieve his correspondence and watch for the Bingleys. I do not wish for them to have to wait for me."

"Of course. The trunk you asked for is waiting beside the door." Mary bit her lip. "When do you expect to come home?"

"If Lizzy continues her recovery as she has, perhaps two days. But if you need me, I shall see if Papa is willing to allow me to come home sooner. He seems so comfortable with Mr. Darcy that he might be willing." Jane rose gracefully and, with a squeeze to Mary's shoulder, left the room.

She walked stiffly down the hall to her father's study and shut the door behind her. In the privacy of the book room, Jane began to weep.

_1 parti :_ A person considered as a matrimonial match. From the French meaning party or match.

2 brown study : Said of one absent, in a reverie, or thoughtful. From the French expression "sombre réverie." Sombre and brun both mean sad, melancholy, gloomy, dull.

3 To make a Cheltenham tragedy : out of something is to make a big deal out of nothing, or blow a situation out of proportion. This may be a reference to the melodramas that were performed at Cheltenham spa.

4 ape leader **:** A spinster or old maid. According to an old saying, their fate is leading apes in hell.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. The final flurry of details in getting 'Darcy's Decision', Given Good Principles Vol 1 finally published took more than I had expected. This will be the last week to put your hat in the ring for a free copy. If you go to my facebook page: facebook(dot)com(forward slash)/AuthorMariaGrace and leave me a comment saying you got there from FFN, I'll enter you into the drawing.

For details on the book, bonus features, and fun regency information, you can go to my website: AuthorMariaGrace(dot)com.

Now on to the story!

**Chapter 7**

"I am certain that I saw the Bennets' gig by the tea shop," Louisa noted as she peered out the side glass. "If she intended to go into Meryton, why did she not ride with us? I do not like to be deceived, Charles."

"Are you confident it was the Bennets' vehicle? I am certain there are others that look much like it," Bingley protested. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why are you so insistent on defending the Bennets?" Louisa looked at him critically. "Oh, no, Charles, please do not tell me you have found another 'angel' here in the wilds of Hertfordshire! You know how Caroline will react when she finds out? Do you care so little for the peace of our family?" She threw her hands up in frustration.

He said nothing, turning his face to the window.

"You have known her for merely days! How can you possibly form an attachment so quickly? Really, Charles, Darcy is quite correct…"

"What has Darcy said? As I recall, he has neatly avoided answering every accusation that Caroline has made." He waved his hand. "Enough, Louisa, the fact you are settled with your husband does not give you leave to so readily air your opinions regarding my own marital prospects."

"Marital prospects? Are you not rushing headlong into this?" Louisa gasped. She clutched the seat and leaned toward him. "Please tell me you have not declared yourself."

"I said nothing of the sort!" He scrubbed his face with his hand. "I merely…in fact I have said nothing at all to her or to you. You have done all the talking—and all of the assuming." He tried to glare at her. "I will not hear another speculation against Miss Bennet. You may ask her about it yourself in just a few moments, for we are coming up the drive to Longbourn right now."

"I will do just that. I look forward to hearing what excuses she finds for her deceptions." She crossed her arms firmly over her chest.

The carriage rolled to a stop at the front door. Jane appeared, a small trunk in her hands. Before Louisa could comment, Bingley bounded out of the carriage and directed the driver to manage the trunk. With a bow, he handed Jane up into the coach and followed her in.

The silence inside was awkward for several minutes. Finally Jane asked, "Was your trip into town pleasant, Mrs. Hurst?"

"It was, Miss Bennet. Your recommendations were most helpful. The herbalist was most accommodating." She glanced at her brother. "I am puzzled though; perhaps you may be able to clarify my understanding." Louisa steepled her hands and pressed them to her chin.

"I am happy to be of help." Jane smiled, though she blinked back the sandiness of her eyes.

"I am quite certain that I saw your gig—yes, that one there; I remember the splash of mud on the side there!" She cast a triumphant look at her brother as she pointed out the window. "I saw your gig in town, and I understood that your sisters do not drive. I thought you said that you were visiting your sisters at home today. Perhaps I misunderstood."

Jane's blue eyes filled with tears, and several trickled down her cheeks. She brusquely rubbed them away before Bingley pressed a handkerchief into her hand. She smiled at him thankfully. "I must beg your forgiveness, Mrs. Hurst; it must seem that I told you an untruth. You are quite correct; I had intended to visit my sisters at home. But things did not progress as I had expected."

"Should I understand that there was something amiss with your sisters?" Louisa's voice suddenly became concerned.

Jane started in surprise. "They are well enough, thank you."

"But there has been a difficulty concerning them?" she pressed, a surprisingly sympathetic note in her voice.

"They walked into town, but Mary needed them to return immediately. I went into town to find them. My youngest sisters can be rather high spirited, and they are not always receptive to Mary's instructions." Jane glanced through the side glass toward Longbourn.

"Were you able to find them?" Bingley asked, his brows furrowed in concern. "Do we need to return to Longbourn?"

"There is no need to return there, sir. I did find them." Jane looked down at her gloved hands as she bit her lower lip and struggled not to wring her hands.

"But they were none too happy about returning with you?" Louisa cocked her head and lifted an eyebrow.

Jane pressed her palm to her face. "You did not see…"

"No," Louisa quickly replied, "but I do have a younger sister of high spirits myself."

Jane lifted her face and their eyes met. For several moments, they locked eyes and found an unexpected common ground. "You understand then," she whispered.

Louisa nodded and patted Jane's hand. "I do. Let us say no more on the matter. Tell me instead of the hosier and the milliner…"

Bingley said nothing, watching as a quiet and unanticipated friendship formed. _ What your father says of you is true, Miss Bennet. _

Jane hurried up the stairs to Lizzy's room, managing to avoid the scrutiny of her father and Caroline. She tapped at the door.

"Come in."

"I am so glad you are awake, dearest. I have brought some things from home that I thought would make you more comfortable," Jane said as she pushed the door open with her shoulder and entered.

Lizzy sat up in bed, surrounded by bunched bedclothes and soft pillows. She pushed stray hairs from her face and pulled her nightdress more comfortably around her.

"I had hoped you were feeling better." Jane sat down on the bed beside her and pressed a cool hand to her forehead. "I was told you were below stairs for a little while this morning."

"I was, but I found that it was still too much for me. I do not believe the fever has returned, but I am just so weary." With a sigh, she leaned back against the stack of pillows behind her. She opened her eyes and looked at her sister curiously. "What is wrong, Jane? You have been crying. Did Miss Bingley or Mrs. Hurst say something untoward to you?"

"No, no, not at all." Jane looked away. "They are really quite pleasant company. I should like to continue their acquaintance."

"You are too good, far too good. Miss Bingley is quite insufferable, with her constant jabs, like a heron hunting for its supper. Mrs. Hurst is little better, often following her example." Lizzy rolled her eyes. "As far as I can see, she is much like Kitty following Lydia."

"To be fair, Lizzy, consider that Kitty is quite a different girl when Lydia is not present. She is quiet and thoughtful, and actually quite pleasing. Mrs. Hurst is much the same in that respect, as well." Jane reached for the small trunk.

"So pray tell, how is it that you were able to ascertain so much of Mrs. Hurst's character? I did not think that Miss Bingley was ever out of her sister's company."

"Here, look at what I have for you." Jane pushed the trunk toward her. "I went to Longbourn to get this, and Mr. Bingley was kind enough to allow me to ride with him and Mrs. Hurst on their way into Meryton. Miss Bingley did not wish to ride into town with so much mud on the roads. The three of us enjoyed very pleasant conversation."

Lizzy turned to the trunk for a moment. "The books I was reading! Only you would have been so thoughtful… thank you." She gave her sister a bright smile as she laid the books on the bedside table. "You still have not told me why you were crying."

Jane's shoulders fell, and she leaned her face in her hand. "You need to rest now; you do not need to worry yourself— "

"It is too late for that; I am already worried. What have Lydia and Kitty done now? I can only imagine that they have been testing Mary quite forcefully."

"They have indeed." Jane propped her elbows on her knees and balanced her chin on her fists. "Lydia and Kitty were not at home when I arrived. Mary said they had gone into town."

"I can see there is more to this than a simple visit to town." Lizzy drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them.

"Mary had it on good authority that the two of them were at tea at Lady Lucas's house while the colonel of the regiment, his wife and several officers were there as well."

"Heavens, no! After what Papa clearly told them…"

"Even after that. I feared what else they might be planning, so I took the gig into town to try to find them." Jane threw her head back and groaned softly. "The serving girl at the tea house told me they had met several officers there while having a break from their shopping. I finally found them outside the pawn broker, waiting on one of the men to conduct his business there."

"Oh, Jane!" Lizzy reached for her hand. "Papa has insisted we never go down that alleyway. They are surely aware of the danger."

"He is quite right, for that is a place that no lady should be! I am so embarrassed! If you had any idea of what the printer had on display in his shop window! It was truly awful!" Jane blushed deeply. "Not to mention the looks I received from the men outside the gin shop! It still makes me shudder. I found our sisters at the end of that alley acting as though they were completely unaware of what was around them. They were laughing and carrying on so flirtatiously! I could hardly believe what I was seeing."

"I cannot imagine they were pleased to see you."

"No, not at all. I insisted they were needed at home immediately. I knew that was the right thing to do, but I had to fight so hard not to hear them out and give them an opportunity to explain themselves." Tears welled in her eyes. "They fussed and carried on all the way home, pushing each other in the gig so raucously that I could hardly maintain my control of the horse!"

Lizzy opened her arms and Jane retreated into her ready shoulder to sob for several minutes. "Then when I got them home, they continued to insist there was nothing so very wrong with what they had done. I forbade them from going out again or having any company until Papa returns. I asked Hill and Wallace to mind them, for I know that Mary does not have the strength to do so."

"That was the right thing to do." Lizzy rubbed her back for a few moments before reaching under her pillows to find a handkerchief. She pressed it into her sister's trembling hands.

Jane cleaned the tears from her face. "And now I must bring the news to Papa! I so dread telling him something that will vex him so much." She rose and paced alongside the bed. "I am so angry right now. I do not understand why Lydia must carry on as she does. We ask nothing of her that we do not do ourselves. In fact, there is little we ask of her at all! Yet, she still she cannot obey such a simple thing?"

"He will be so very angry." Lizzy shook her head slowly. "I cannot imagine what he will do. He has never been very severe with her, but I can hardly think that he will not this time."

"I do so hate to see her or Papa unhappy, but I hope you are correct. I do not wish to see her continuing as she is. She does not understand what she has to lose."

"Perhaps we need to have a very frank talk with her. Mama spoke with us when we were even younger than she." Lizzy rubbed her lips with her fingertips.

"Perhaps you are correct." A small smile crept over her lips. "Perhaps it will be good practice for the time when we have daughters of our own."

A huge lump formed in Lizzy's throat and her chest ached. "Perhaps it will be for you," she whispered painfully. "Have we not always said you look so much like Mama, you will be the one to bear five daughters, and I shall have none, for I am too much of a hoyden to rear a girl." _ And one needs a husband first besides. _

"I do not care what you say, Caroline; Jane Bennet is a sweet girl, and Mr. Hurst has given me leave to like her very much, despite her unfortunate relations as you call them," Louisa declared with a toss of her head. _ He actually told me that perhaps now I had a chance of having a friend that would not be turned aside by your manner, but I dare not tell you that. _

"I do not care what you say, I shall be happy to have them out of my home. Such uninvited guests are quite tiresome," Caroline retorted, smoothing her silk skirts. "I must admit I do feel sorry for Miss Bennet."

"How is that?" Louisa asked. She heard footsteps and looked toward the doorway. "Charles, Mr. Darcy," she nodded at the gentlemen entering the parlor.

"Ladies," Darcy acknowledged, then retreated into a chair near the fireplace to read his paper, _ Perhaps she will have the manners to leave me alone to read. _

Charles sat down at the nearby table and began writing a letter.

"She is a pretty enough girl, and though it is nothing to mine, I have heard she has dowry enough to attract a decent man. But that family! Why with relations like that: uncles in trade, a crippled father and that harpy for a sister, she can never expect to marry well. What man would wish to align himself with that?" Caroline flicked her hand and turned to look at the men. Gracefully, she rose and walked toward them. "Would you not agree, Mr. Darcy?"

Darcy scowled and looked at Charles, who ignored her and focused on his letter. Caroline slipped behind Darcy's chair and rested her hand along the back of the furniture. She peered over his shoulder a moment. "Is that not so, sir?" she asked again.

"Is what not so, Miss Bingley? I am afraid I was not attending to your conversation." He flipped his paper to straighten it.

"I said that a young woman cannot expect to marry well if she brings undesirable connections into a match, like Miss Bennet, for example." She batted her eyes coyly. "Your sister, on the other hand, brings such splendid connections that she should never fear what kind of man would have her."

_If you only knew. _Darcy's jaw tightened. "I would thank you to stop talking about my sister in such familiar terms, Miss Bingley. She is just fifteen, and I have no desire to begin considering marriage for her," he muttered, eyes still focused on his newspaper.

"Please forgive me, I surely meant no offense." Caroline's skirts swished crisply as she turned away and returned to her sister.

"Why do you insist on baiting him like that?" Louisa whispered, scowling.

"I am certain I do not know what you mean."

"You keep trying to force him to admit that Mr. Bennet's unfortunate condition ruins their standing in society."

"I am doing no such thing!" Caroline hissed, her hand clutching her heart.

"I will warn you only this once; by doing so, you are driving him further and further away. It is no secret that you have set your cap for him…"

"How dare you!"

"Stop it; we both know you have." Louisa waved her down. "I know that your continued assaults on the Bennet family will not win you his attentions."

"But someone must speak the truth! Besides, how do you know such a thing about Mr. Darcy?"

"Caroline," Louisa shook her head sadly as she rose from the couch, "there are some things I know that I cannot share, even with you. But that does not mean you should not trust me."

Later that evening, Darcy and Bingley sat together in his study, sipping port and staring into the crackling fire.

"Mr. Bennet was in quite a fit of pique tonight," Bingley observed quietly.

"One cannot blame him. His daughters openly disobeyed him," Darcy replied, sipping his wine.

"But do you not think he overreacted? Sending for his carriage and valet to bring him home immediately? I do not pretend to understand all the manners of the gentry yet, but that does somehow seem rude."

Darcy huffed and pushed himself out of his chair. He stalked to the fireplace and leaned on the mantle, staring into the flames. "No, Charles, with girls so young involved, his haste was entirely justified, despite what your sister would have you believe."

"Caroline did suggest his haste was further evidence of his inadequate parenting," Bingley murmured into his glass.

Darcy winced. "Young women can be willful at times, in spite of the best efforts of their guardians," he said carefully. "Perhaps it would not be wise to judge him too harshly." _ What would she say of me? _

Bingley sighed, holding his glass up to watch the play of the firelight through the rich liquid. "I must confess, I am pleased to hear you say that. I know that once lost, your good opinion is lost forever."

Darcy hung his head. "Perhaps I was too hasty when I made that remark." A thick silence fell. Finally Darcy returned to his seat.

"What do you think of Miss Bennet?" Bingley did not look at Darcy.

"You have asked me that question of other women. Am I to infer that you are asking me for the same reason now?" Darcy looked quizzically.

Bingley laughed. "That is the problem with old friends, they know you too well." He turned the glass around in his hands. "What do you think of her?"

Darcy leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling. "I think I should not like to see her toyed with."

Bingley sat up straighter and stared at him. "Pardon?"

"If rumors are correct, her fortune is adequate, but her connections are not those which will further your position in society."

Bingley set his glass aside and leaned his elbows on his knees. "You have yet to answer my question. What do you think of her ?"

Darcy sighed and shifted uneasily. "I believe she and her sister are women of unusual strength. Many will not welcome that, your sister's being one. Although her beauty is rare, her character and accomplishments, unconventional though they may be, are even more so. She does not deserve to be dallied with." He turned to meet Bingley's eyes. "I would ask you as a favor to me, if you do not have serious intentions, do not meddle with her."

Bingley said nothing. He reached for his glass and leaned back in his chair. He took a sip and ran his finger around the rim. "You know the regiment has come to Meryton."

"I am aware."

"I came upon some unwelcome intelligence today whilst we were there. There is a certain officer in the company with whom you have had dealings."

Darcy's face hardened as he leaned forward. "Who?"

"I am sorry to tell you, it is Lt. George Wickham, and he was seen in the company of the youngest Miss Bennets."

Darcy froze in his seat, his chest constricted.

"I have been told that Miss Bennet removed them from his company rather forcefully."

Darcy began to breathe again. "Hence their father's haste home, I imagine."

"I expect." Bingley took another long sip. "I believe Mr. Bennet means to keep them from further acquaintance with any of the regiment."

Darcy breathed a sigh of relief. _ He is a wiser man than you realize. _


	8. Chapter 8

**The drawing for a free copy of 'Darcy's Decision: given Good Principles Vol 1' is now closed. I will announce the winner on facebook at the beginning of next week. Thanks to all of you who entered!  
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**Chapter 8**

That night, Darcy's sleep was haunted by dreams of his sister and George Wickham. In the wee hours, he awoke with a start, bathed in sweat. Grumbling, he threw back the counterpane and slipped out of bed, and paced the room for several minutes. Finally he sat down heavily in the chair by the window, and stared out onto the moonlit landscape. The waxing moon had not yet grown past a sliver, but in the cloudless sky, it was enough to cast eerie shadows upon the gardens and fields.

_Bother and damnation! _He laughed under his breath. _Richard has me swearing like a soldier now! Mother would be devastated to know I might even think such language. _He raked unruly curls from his face and cradled his face in his hands. _Will that man always haunt me? Can I not even sleep without his face tormenting me? _

He stood and pressed his forehead against the cool glass. _ I should have taken action against him. I could have had him sent to debtor's prison back at Ramsgate. Had I done that, I would not be facing him yet again, here and now._ _But in the time it would have taken to accomplish that, he would have made good on his threat to reveal Georgiana's indiscretions. He would have ruined her in the eyes of society. I know well enough that he would have had no compunctions about doing it either. He was quick enough to take advantage of her in the first place._ His stomach knotted tightly and he felt ill. _ I should have found a way to stop him then. I had not considered that he might…what a fool I was! At the time, I just wanted him and my problems to be gone! _

He found his robe and slipped it on, tying it tightly against the chill of the evening. Quietly he pushed open his door and made his way to the library, where he knew Bingley kept a bottle of brandy. He was surprised to find a small fire still burning in the room, but ignored it in favor of the brandy. He poured himself a glass and, lost in thought, wandered to a chair near the fire. A sudden gasp startled him from his lassitude. His head snapped up, and he looked up into the astonished face of Elizabeth Bennet.

"Mr. Darcy!" she gasped.

"Miss Elizabeth!" he stammered. "Please forgive me! I had no idea you were here!"

Regaining her composure quickly, she smiled. "I do not suppose that you would. It is not where one expects to find a lady in the middle of the night." She laughed softly. "It would seem that you are quite intent on encountering me when I am at my most improper." She blushed prettily.

For a moment Darcy stared, entranced. She was curled on the sofa, wrapped in a shawl, her bare toes peeking out from beneath the fringe. Her hair flowed over her shoulders, bound lightly in a ribbon away from her face. Her eyes were bright and sparkled in the firelight. In her hands, she held a worn leather-bound volume. _ I dare say she is even more beautiful now than she was in the field that day. _"Once again, it appears that I am guilty of intruding on your privacy. I should go." He retreated back a step.

"There are those who would say I am never fit for company, sir." She sighed wistfully. "If you wish, I do not mind if you share the fire with me."

_How scrupulously I have avoided this very scenario, being caught in a compromising situation. Now I find that it has happened through no design of the lady nor fault of my own. Yet, she has no desire to take advantage of it. I would never have imagined a lady could be so guileless. I know I should not stay, but what further harm can it do to sit here now? _He settled himself on the settee opposite the one she occupied. "You are quite gracious, Miss Elizabeth, thank you."

_He has a charming smile, though he does not reveal it often enough. _She realized that she was staring at him, fascinated by his open collar. Her blush deepened, and she looked away.

"What are you reading?" he asked casually, sipping his brandy.

"Jane brought this for me from home. It is a favorite of mine." She turned the cover so he could read it.

He leaned forward to read the worn lettering in the dim light. "I am familiar with that work, but find I prefer the bard's histories."

"I would have thought you more favorably disposed to his comedies," she replied, the corner of her lips twitching.

"I think you should be nearly alone in that opinion. I believe Bingley is the only one who might agree with you."

She held his eyes and chuckled.

"Are you laughing at me, Miss Elizabeth?" He sat back, a perplexed look on his face. _And why does the thought of that not bother me? _

"No, certainly not that. My manners surely have not fallen to that level, sir." _I have no doubt that you appreciate a well turned joke much more than you let on. _

The sweet warmth of her smile produced the oddest sensation in his chest. "But you are laughing."

"I am laughing at the thought of anyone, even you, sitting stone faced through Much Ado About Nothing [sup]1[/sup]. You cannot tell me you do not enjoy Beatrice and Benedict and their efforts to aid the luckless Hero and Claudio?"

"I suppose I am of a very serious mien, for I find it difficult to see the lightheartedness in a young woman nearly ruined by the machinations of an evil man," he murmured, staring into the fire. _ Had Georgiana only been as innocent as Hero. _

"But was not her innocence proven in the end, and those who wronged her brought to justice?" Lizzy drew her knees up under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs.

_She is utterly charming, a pixie debating the finer points the Bard's works. _"I will grant you, justice is the final conclusion in this case. But is it not true that in life, such men often escape such a righteous fate?"

"I fear I must grant you that," she somberly agreed, the smile disappearing from her face.

He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully, noting the rough stubble that scraped his fingertips. "Having several younger sisters, I am surprised that the machinations of Don John do not trouble you further." He raised his brows.

She gazed at him critically for a moment. _I wonder what he knows about Lydia and Kitty._ _Is he trying to tell me something? Certainly not, he is much more direct a man than that. _"I suppose if I allowed myself to dwell upon them, they would, sir. You are quite correct; the world is not a kind place to young women. They may be so easily ruined. I suppose then, if anything, the play would imply that it is the duty of those around them to steadfastly come to their defense when one such as our villain Don John would try to work his intrigues." She shifted slightly, and pulled the shawl more tightly around her. With a slight shake of her head, she added, "But I am not made for melancholy. I attend more to Beatrice."

Darcy suddenly laughed, surprising even himself. She cocked her head and lifted an eyebrow in question. "Forgive me, you just caused me to recall an evening at the theater when Bingley declared I reminded him of Benedict at his most insufferable. I could not imagine what he meant." He snickered under his breath, his expression belying his words.

Lizzy giggled merrily. "My father has at times warned me to take care, lest someone mistake me for Beatrice. My youngest sisters have cautioned me that my tongue is as sharp as hers."

Darcy stared at her, his eyes glittering with warmth. "I cannot imagine why." _ I have never felt more comfortable with anyone before, and yet this moment is so very improper. Why does it feel so natural to talk with her like this? Bingley would harrumph and tell me it is because I have found the Beatrice to my Benedict. _The thought arrested him; his heavy brows knit.

"Is something wrong, Mr. Darcy?" She peered into his face intently.

He shook his head slightly and forced his lips into a wry smile, "No, not at all. It was just a passing thought, not one worth dwelling upon." He sipped the last of his brandy and reluctantly pushed himself up from the settee. "Thank you for your company," he lifted his empty glass toward her, "but I believe it is time for me to retire. Good night." He bowed slightly, feeling a bit awkward doing so in a nightshirt and robe.

"Thank you, sir, I have been abed too much these last few days, and I believe I shall linger here a bit longer. Good night."

Darcy returned to his room, pondering on Benedict and Beatrice, their faces replacing Wickham's in his dreams.

Bingley finished buttoning his coat as he hurriedly made his way down the stairs. _At least I can be certain that Caroline will not intrude this morning. _He snickered under his breath. _ Darcy was right. I should have taken a stand with her long ago. But now it is done and done for the best. _He struggled to suppress his grin as he saw her face in his mind's eye.

"_Why did you ask Mr. Darcy for his opinion on Miss Bennet?" Caroline demanded angrily as he came out of his study._

"_What are you doing here? Why were you eavesdropping on my private conversations?"_

_She waved her hand. "That is not the point here…"_

"_I believe it very much is."_

"_You cannot possible be considering that country chit…"_

"_You will not dismiss me, Caroline," he snapped, squaring his shoulders._

_Her eyes bulged as her jaw dropped. "You will not speak to me in that tone…"_

"_I most certainly will, Sister. Have you forgotten that I am head of this family, not you? If you wish to leave my protection, I will turn your fortune over to you and put you on the first post coach back to London."_

"_You would do no such thing." She stepped very close and glared into his face._

"_Do not test me in this, I have tolerated enough from you. I will have no more of your meddling in my affairs, no more of your insulting the Bennets, and no more pursuing Darcy." He crossed his arms firmly over his chest, tapping his foot rapidly._

"_You cannot be serious! Those Bennets…"_

"…_are friends. I will not have you belittle them in my home any longer."_

"_Someone must speak sense to you! You will ruin us if you persist in this foolishness!" Her shrill voice pierced his ears._

"_Someone has spoken sense to me and warned me not to trifle with her. So I shall not." The corner of his mouth twitched slightly._

"_Thank heavens for that! I knew Darcy could not support such nonsense." She threw her hands up in relief._

"_I intend to court her, if she will have me." He could not restrain the smug look of satisfaction in his eyes. _

"_Have you gone barking mad?" She stomped to him. _

_He raised his open hands to halt her advance. "Not another word, Caroline. Do not test me, for I have seen what a firm hand with a younger sister can bring about, and I am quite determined to act on that example. Now remove yourself to your room for I will have no more of this conversation."_

_She drew a deep breath to speak._

"_A single word more and I shall instruct your maid to begin packing immediately. My coach can be ready to leave in a quarter of an hour." He folded his hands in front of him._

_Her mouth worked silently for several minutes, but finally she shut it. With a loud huff, she whirled and stomped away._

_He followed her with his eyes, a grin blooming across his face. He felt someone watching him. Turning to look, he saw Darcy in the doorway of the study, nodding his approval. _

He slowed his steps to a more dignified pace as he reached the bottom of the stairs. As he approached the morning room, his breath hitched. She was there!

Jane sat at a small table, alone in the room, her face turned toward the garden window. Her elbow braced on the table, she held a teacup in her hand, stopped midair. The morning light glinted off her hair, making it appear as spun gold. A small smile graced her lips and lit her eyes as she watched several birds flit playfully through the bushes. He stood in the doorway a moment, just drinking in the sight. _ She is so beautiful and so wise. Sometimes I feel just like a puppy around her. _He sighed softly. _ Could a woman like her ever look at me as more than that? _The corners of his mouth drooped slightly, and he leaned his head and shoulder against the door frame.

At the soft sound, she turned. Her eyes brightened, and her smile grew. "Good morning, Mr. Bingley," her soft voice caressed his ears, and he knew—he just knew.

Suddenly his knees turned soft, and he leaned harder against the door jamb. A grin suddenly burst upon his face. "Good morning, Miss Bennet," he said brightly. His strength returned, and he strode into the morning room. He stood behind her for a moment. "The garden is lovely at this hour. Would you care to take a turn in it with me?" His heart raced.

Craning her neck to look up at him, she caught his eyes and held them in a warm embrace. "I think that would be very pleasant, sir. It will take me but a moment to fetch my bonnet and pelisse."

He pulled her chair for her and, in a moment, she was gone. A chill descended over him, as if the fire had gone out in the room. With a quick glance, he checked – it had not. Sinking into her empty seat, he braced his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his fist to watch for her return.

True to her word, she reappeared only a few minutes later. Bingley beamed as he rose and offered her his arm. _ Caroline is never ready so quickly. _

Jane slipped her hand into the crook of his arm and allowed him to lead her into the garden. Bees buzzed around the last flowers of the summer whilst birds called to them from the trees. _ Lizzy called him a puppy. She was right; he is amiable and loyal, but there is more to him than that. _"The gardens here are quite fine." She looked down the neat beds. "Your gardener has quite a hand with the roses."

"I am quite pleased with them. I must admit, they are one of the things that drew me to this property." Bingley took in her peaceful expression with a sidelong glance. "Hurst's townhouse in London has very little garden to speak of. I found that I missed having one very much."

"Your previous residence had extensive gardens?" she asked, clutching his arm more firmly as she stumbled slightly over a stone.

He placed his hand over hers securely, enjoying the closeness. "I suppose it depends on what you might call extensive, Miss Bennet. Mr. Darcy's Pemberley has extensive gardens. My mother's were nothing to that." He laughed softly. "But she was quite fond of them, and took a great deal of care with them. Though the townhouse we had was smaller than what might be considered fashionable, the gardens were large by comparison."

"My mother was very fond of her gardens. Kitty and I maintain them now." Jane looked up at a bird flying past. "They are not quite so formal as yours. She preferred to leave them more…what was the word she used…unstructured. It was the way Papa liked them; it was one of the last sights he saw, and she could not bear to change them from what he remembered."

"I think of my mother when I am in a garden. There are times I miss her very much." He turned his gaze to his boots.

Jane swallowed hard. "I miss mine as well, sir."

"I recall how difficult it was for my sisters, especially Louisa…Mrs. Hurst, when mother left us. She tried to care for Caroline, but…well I am sure you know." He peeked at her and noticed the sadness on her face. "Forgive me, I have said too much."

She patted his arm with her free hand. "Not at all. I must confess, it is actually a relief to have a moment where one can confess the sadness to one who understands and does not feel the need to pretend it does not exist."

They walked on in companionable silence for a few moments, pausing at a shaded bench some distance from the house. "Would you care to sit down?" He extended his arm toward it.

"Thank you, I would." He brushed a few stray leaves off the wooden bench, and they both sat down. "Have you been long without your father?" She smoothed her pelisse.

"It was just three years at Michaelmas." He chewed his knuckle absently. "He would have approved of Netherfield. That was his dream, to see us settled into the gentry."

"Is it yours as well?" She turned to look into his eyes.

_She has the most penetrating gaze. I feel as though she is looking into my soul. _He paused thoughtfully. "I confess, I do wish to have an estate. Darcy's love of Pemberley has left me longing for a place on which to leave my mark, a place in which to invest myself in something that will live on beyond me." Jane smiled approvingly. His heart soared. "But, whilst I dearly enjoy the society of others, I would prefer to do so in a place such as this, without the strictures of the ton . Climbing the social ladder is not nearly so appealing to me…"

"As it is to your sister, Miss Bingley?" she finished for him with an understanding nod.

"I suppose it does not take a great deal to observe the differences between us."

_The funny little smile of his is so endearing! _"Though Elizabeth and I are quite like-minded, I often find myself thinking the same thing of my youngest sister."

"I think Caroline finds it quite vexing that I do not share her enthusiasm for seeking status and connections." He scuffed the dirt with the tip of his boot.

"I believe Lydia would say similar things about Lizzy and myself." Jane reached above her to pluck a leaf from the tree and twirl it around in her fingers.

"It seemed that you and Louisa became better acquainted when we rode home from Meryton together."

"I believe we did." Jane felt his eyes on her and blushed. She focused on the leaf in her hand. It was still a rich green, but soon the leaves would begin to color with the rich tones of autumn.

"Will you call on her after you return to Longbourn?" he asked, biting his lower lip anxiously.

Startled, she looked up into his beseeching eyes. "Why, I do not…that is to say, I had not considered…well, yes, I believe that I will."

He grinned boyishly, "Capital!" Seeing her surprise, he caught himself. "That is to say, I am sure she will be quite pleased." His ears turned red and burned. She peered into his eyes, but he quickly looked away. A moment later, though, he looked back. "Miss Bennet?"

"Yes, Mr. Bingley." She held her breath.

"Would you…could I…" he sighed in frustration. "May I call upon you at Longbourn?" He fought the urge to take her hand. To his surprise, her forehead creased in pain, and she looked away. "Miss Bennet?"

"I am sorry," she stammered and rose. She began to walk, but chose to continue down the garden path rather than return to the house.

He quickly followed after her. "Miss Bennet! Please!" She continued, walking quickly, staring at the path. "I do not understand!" he pleaded, but she did not slow. Finally, he took several long steps and got in front of her. He stopped and faced her.

She stopped short and drew in a sharp breath. Looking up into his face, she saw his confusion and sadness. Gasping, she covered her face with her hands and gulped back a little sob.

"Please do not cry! Tell me what is wrong," he begged, his hands on her shoulders.

Jane could not speak; the tears flowed out of control. Unable to stop himself, Bingley drew her to his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. For several minutes, she wept until finally her tears were spent. At last she looked up at him, her face tear-stained and her eyes red. With a wistful smile, he retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and pressed it into her hands. Looking away, she wiped her face and dabbed at her eyes. Taking her hand, he led her to a fallen log and pulled her to sit down next to him. He was about to plead for another explanation, but the expression in her eyes arrested him. "Are those tears of sorrow, or of joy, Miss Bennet?"

"I am not sure I know myself," she confessed softly, wringing her hands. "Please forgive me, sir. I am not usually so volatile."

He chuckled, "No, your father has declared you the most peaceful woman in all of England." He caught a stray tear from her cheek. "I believe I am glad he was overstating his case."

Jane swallowed hard and shook her head. "There are times that I believe Papa thinks far too well of me."

"And it is difficult to know that you cannot possibly stand up to scrutiny. You know that if one looks too closely, your faults will be revealed, and all that you have tried to maintain will come shattering down around you?" Boldly he took her hand.

She gaped at him in astonishment. "How…" she whispered.

"My sisters, Caroline especially, think me an affable puppy and want very much to believe that is true. Any time I have tried to show them differently, they have become quite disappointed in me." He rolled his eyes as his lips wrinkled into a frown. "Caroline in particular is very vocal in her disenchantment." He looked down and kicked his toe in the dirt. "I fear I learned a long time ago that it was best to keep her placated. Her tantrums used to upset my father greatly, and the doctors told me that he needed to avoid such upset as much as possible. So I generally ignored the bulk of her ramblings lest she begin squawking her displeasure. I fear I grew accustomed to giving into her. Even more so, she grew accustomed to it." He screwed his lips into an awkward frown and shook his head. "Perhaps it was not a wise choice on my part."

"I dread upsetting my papa and my sisters, too," she said softly, studying her feet. He squeezed her hand warmly, and she looked up into compassionate blue eyes.

"What else do you dread, Miss Bennet?" He stared deep into her eyes.

Lost in his gaze, she hesitated before she spoke, "I know you have met my father…"

"And found him to be a most congenial fellow. His is an acquaintance I hope to build into a friendship."

She sighed and chewed at her upper lip. "I love him so dearly…and he needs me."

A knowing look lit Bingley's eyes. "I should have realized." He rolled his eyes skyward. He took her hand and clasped it in both of his. _ Her hands are so dainty. _"Nearly three years before his death, my father suffered an apoplexy that took away the use of the right side of his body."

"I am so sorry…" He silenced her with a gentle finger to her lips.

"My mother was gone and neither of my sisters had the disposition for the sick room. Caroline resented his infirmity greatly. I spent a great deal of time with him over business matters, often acting as his secretary, so it was only natural that I began to care for him too. I am well acquainted with being needed ." He closed his eyes briefly. "I still miss him dreadfully."

Jane stared up at him in wonder, tears overflowing once again. "Then you do not despise…you do not fear all that Papa's affliction may imply?" He shook his head gently. She struggled to blink the tears back, this time smiling as she did so.

"Does this mean that I may call upon you?"

"I would like that very much."

_**[sup]1[/sup]Much Ado About Nothing**_ [size=8pts]is a comedy by William Shakespeare about two pairs of lovers, Benedick and Beatrice, and Claudio and Hero.

Benedick and Beatrice are engaged in a "merry war"; they both talk a mile a minute and proclaim their scorn for love, marriage, and each other. In contrast, Claudio and Hero are sweet young people who are rendered practically speechless by their love for one another. By means of "noting" (which sounds the same as "nothing," and which is gossip, rumour, and overhearing), Benedick and Beatrice are tricked into confessing their love for each other, and Claudio is tricked into rejecting Hero at the altar. However, Dogberry, a Constable who is a master of malapropisms, discovers the evil trickery of the villain, the bastard Don John. In the end, Don John is captured and everyone else joins in a dance celebrating the marriages of the two couples. [/size]


	9. Chapter 9

**Congratulations to Rae who won the Darcy's Decision, Given Good Principles Vol 1 give away!  
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**Chapter 9**

The following morning, shortly after breakfast, Mr. Palmer arrived. Mrs. Price led him to the morning room, where Darcy, Bingley, Jane and Lizzy were still sipping coffee and conversing pleasantly.

"It is good to see you looking so well, Miss Elizabeth," Mr. Palmer declared as he stood in the doorway.

"Thank you, sir. I hope you will pronounce me fit to travel today," Lizzy replied, blushing.

"If you will come with me, I hope to be able to do just that." He waved her toward the door.

Darcy pulled her chair for her, and Bingley did likewise for Jane. Together, the ladies followed Mr. Palmer upstairs. A short while later Jane met Bingley in the hallway with the good news.

"Will you be leaving directly then?" he asked, his normally jovial features downcast.

"I am afraid we have imposed on your hospitality long enough," Jane explained gently. "Moreover, my father has never been alone with my three younger sisters before, and I am certain that Lizzy and I are needed at home."

"I understand," he said with a soft sigh, "but your company has been no imposition at all. It has been quite refreshing actually."

"Thank you, you have been a most attentive and gracious host."

He bit his lip and hesitated for a moment, "It is still all right then, that I call upon you at Longbourn?"

"Yes, it is." Her eyes sparkled as she smiled. "I hope it is not too forward of me to suggest that you might invite Mr. Darcy to join you. My father found him exceptional company, and he would enjoy a visit from him very much."

"I fear my friend finds few chess partners of his caliber among our party. I think he would very much enjoy the promise of a game with your father." Bingley grinned. _ And perhaps an excuse to visit with your sister, too. _

Two hours later, the Bennets were on their way home. "It was very kind of Mr. Bingley to insist that we use his carriage." Jane leaned back against the seat as the carriage lurched. She looked out the side glass. "The roads seem worse for all the storms we have had."

"I am sure you are right," Lizzy replied distractedly. _ It will be good to be home with Papa. I should have missed his conversation more, had it not been for Mr. Darcy. His company was quite— _

"It is pleasant to ride in such a well sprung vehicle." Jane turned to look at Lizzy quizzically.

"Indeed." _ —singular. I do not think I have ever been able to converse so easily with any other gentleman. _

"I am quite certain it will snow this afternoon." Jane's lips twitched.

_His eyes are appealing and his smile— _"Absolutely."

"Lizzy!" Jane grinned. "You really believe we will have snow in September?"

Lizzy shook her head and blinked several times. "What did you say?"

"What is on your mind? You look as though your thoughts are elsewhere." Jane cocked her head. _ Or upon another. _

"Forgive me, Jane, you are right; I did not mean to ignore you." Lizzy brushed her skirts and turned to face her sister. "What do you wish to speak of?"

Jane pursed her lips and leaned slightly forward. "What do you think of Mr. Bingley? Do you still consider him a spaniel puppy now that you have spent more time with him?"

A smile spread across her face. Lizzy drew a breath, but paused, seeing the anxious look in Jane's eyes. "I will not tease you, though I have sorely missed the exercise the last few days. No, his character is not that of a puppy. His is a fine hunting dog, with loyalty and strength, and a great sense of fun."

"So then you approve?" She sat up slightly.

"Is there something for me to approve of?" Lizzy chuckled, bracing her elbows on her knees and leaning her chin on her hands. "Has he asked to call on you?" _ I knew he would! _A broad smile lit her face.

Jane nodded, eyes shining with joy.

"Oh, Jane!" Lizzy grasped her sister's hands excitedly. "I am very pleased. He seems a fine man, and I would like to see you get to know him better. And before you ask, I believe Papa will say the same." _ He already has. _

"So what did you think of his friend, Mr. Darcy? Papa seems unaccountably fond of him. His interests seem very like your own." Jane giggled. "I have seen the way he looks at you…"

"Jane, no." Lizzy's voice suddenly became very serious. "We are not going to have this conversation. You promised me…" She leaned back against the well-padded seat, enjoying the luxury of very fine leather.

"That was in regard to Mr. Collins, and we both know I was only teasing then." She wrapped her hands around Lizzy's. Her tone became more serious. "Do you not like Mr. Darcy?"

"I would count him among my friends," she replied carefully, not looking at Jane.

"That is not how I saw him looking at you during dinner last night. He seemed to have something else on his mind." Jane squeezed her hands hard. "He seems a fine gentleman. Why are you so insistent…"

_Because I already know it to be impossible, and I have no wish to torture myself with what cannot be! _Lizzy slipped her hands from her sister's. "We have had this discussion before. Nothing has changed. Please, I do not wish have this conversation again."

"But, Lizzy, if it is of no matter to him—"

"Jane!" Her eyes filled with tears. She looked away and struggled to blink them back. _ How can it be no matter to him? With his standing in society, that is just not possible. _

She leaned forward slightly, look intently at her sister. _ She does like him, very much. I suspect he likes her as well. _"I am sorry, Lizzy. I shall say nothing more."

"Thank you." She noted the look of hurt in Jane's eyes. "I will be happy to receive Mr. Bingley at Longbourn."

She forced herself to smile. "I am exceedingly glad."

Both became quiet and were lost in their own thoughts until they arrived at Longbourn.

"Lizzy! Jane!" Lydia and Kitty cried, rushing down the front stairs to greet the carriage.

Jane and Elizabeth exchanged a long-suffering look. "They sound not so much happy to see us, as they do wishing for something from us." Lizzy sighed, leaning her head back against the carriage.

"I am afraid you are right, and I can only suppose that they are hoping we will relieve them from Papa's restrictions."

"They will be very disappointed," Lizzy muttered as she allowed the driver to hand her out of the carriage.

"We are so glad you are come!" Kitty exclaimed, rushing to her sisters. "You look very well, Lizzy. Are you now recovered?"

"I believe so, thank you." She smiled at her younger sister.

Lydia pushed her way in front of Kitty. "Now that you are home, you must talk some sense into Papa!" she demanded.

"Is that how you greet your sister who has been sick?" Jane rebuked sharply. She guided all of them away from the carriage so the trunks could be unloaded.

"It is clear enough that she is well," Lydia protested, pulling her elbow out of Jane's grasp. "Papa has been so unreasonable without you here to speak sense to him. Really, you must persuade him to change his mind."

"Change his mind about what?" Jane asked, struggling not to roll her eyes. She frowned and stole a glance at Lizzy.

"About allowing them to attend the assembly," Mr. Bennet replied sternly as he appeared in the doorway.

"Papa!" Lizzy cried and rushed to his side. "It is so good to see you!"

He opened his arms and soon was hugging her tightly to his chest. "I am glad you are come home, dear. You and your sister have been missed. Though she has tried valiantly, I am afraid Mary has no mind for chess, nor does she have any desire to discuss Plato."

Lizzy laughed, "It is good to be home." She pressed into her father's shoulder, drinking in his familiar scent. In the warmth of his embrace, some of her heaviness lifted.

"Yes, it is," Jane agreed, standing just behind her sister.

Mr. Bennet reached his hand toward her and she took it, pressing it to her face. "I am happy to see you, Papa."

He opened his arms again and brought Jane into his embrace. His heart swelled as he cuddled them close for a moment. "Come in, both of you." He offered an arm to each daughter, and they walked into the house, three abreast.

Several hours later, Elizabeth was perched atop the gig, waiting as the groom helped her father up. The bright sun was warm upon their faces, but a cool breeze kept the heat at bay. "What a perfect afternoon for driving the gig," she observed.

"Are you certain this is not too much for you, dear?" Mr. Bennet asked as he settled himself into the seat.

"I am. Do not forget, I have been inside for all these days now. I need to feel the sun on my face, or I may go quite mad!" She laughed and clucked her tongue, slapping the reins. The bay gelding started off at a lively clip.

"I appreciate your willingness to take me to see your Uncle Philips. I have needed to speak to him for several days now." He adjusted his hat and grasped the seat firmly.

"Was Mary not able to take you to see him?" She glanced at her father. "Hold on, there is a new rut in the road!" The gig lurched. "Sorry!"

"I feared the roads would suffer!" He gritted his teeth. "It was not Mary, but Kitty and Lydia who kept me at home. They have been in such a state, particularly Lydia, that I did not feel easy leaving them."

Lizzy grumbled under her breath. "Jane told me what they did. I cannot…"

Bennet reached over to lay his hand on her arm, "I should have been more diligent in making sure they obeyed me in my absence."

"You should not have had to! It was enough that you told them!" Lizzy snapped angrily, tightening her grip on the reins. The horse seemed to sense her tension and picked up his pace slightly.

He squeezed her arm. "Lydia and Kitty are not you and Jane. Do not become offended for my sake. I have dealt with the matter. Do not take so much upon yourself."

"But, Papa, they are my sisters."

"They are your sisters, not your daughters." He sighed heavily. "We are near that empty field, are we not? Is the ground dry enough for us to pull off a moment? I wish to talk to you."

Swallowing hard, she directed the horse off the road. "Yes, sir." The gig came to a rest in the field. The horse snorted and tossed his head, then reached for a tuft of grass.

"My child," he traced her arm down to find her hand and twined his fingers in hers, "I am so proud of you. Every day, I thank the good Lord for you and your sisters. I would not have survived the passing of your mother without you."

Lizzy held his hand tightly, tears in her eyes for the second time that day.

"But I fear I have asked too much of you and Jane."

"No, no, not at all," she argued, shifting uneasily in her seat.

He shook his head. "You are both young women now, girls no longer. It is time for you to begin thinking of your futures, of having homes and families of your own."

Lizzy huffed, "No talk of matchmaking, papa; have we not agreed on that?" _ Is it not enough that I just had this conversation with Jane? Must I have it again with you? _

"Speaking of your futures is not matchmaking." He tapped his foot. "It is time for both of you to consider marriage."

"There will be plenty of time for that later." She looked away, watching a pair of birds flying over the field.

"I do not want you and Jane to miss…" Lizzy drew a breath to speak, but her father shook his head. "Hear me out. We both know that there are few eligible young men in the neighborhood, and even fewer who are worthy of you and Jane. I cannot take you to London for a season, so you have little opportunity to meet gentlemen. Do not overlook the opportunity that has arrived in the form of our Netherfield neighbors."

"Now you are being a matchmaker."

"Now you are being stubborn," he rebuked sternly. He heard her gasp and thought he detected a little cry in her voice. His shoulders sagged, and his voice softened. "Why do you fight me so, Lizzy? I do not understand."

Her throat tightened painfully as she fought back a sob. "I…I am simply not ready to marry, Papa. I truly wish to speak no further of this." Her cheeks burned hotly as tears trickled down.

With a final squeeze, he released her hands, "All right, dear, we shall say no more." _ Today. There is more to be said. Mr. Darcy is as well suited for you as you are for him. _

She nodded and flicked the reins again.

Jane sat in the parlor watching Lydia pace up and down the room, Kitty following her closely. Jane glanced at Mary beside her. Mary lokked at her two youngest sisters and rolled her eyes. Jane shook her head and turned back to Lydia.

"He is being so unreasonable!" Lydia cried, petulantly stamping her foot. "He told us that we could go! We have already trimmed our gowns and remade our bonnets. It is not fair for him to deny us now."

"Lydia, you disobeyed him; what do you expect?" Jane said sharply.

"I expect him to keep his word!" Lydia crossed her arms tightly.

"Then you should have kept yours to honor his wishes!" Jane glared angrily.

"We do so wish to go," Kitty added softly, her eyes downcast, wringing her hands.

Jane rose and walked to Kitty's side. She placed a gentle hand on her sister's shoulder. "You know you should not have done those things."

Kitty swallowed hard and nodded. "But I still want to go." She looked up at her sister, pleading.

"Papa has decided that this is your punishment. If you cannot be trusted to obey when he is not here, you are not grown up enough to attend," Jane explained gently. "I agree with him. You do not understand the danger in which you placed yourselves."

"It was all in good fun! There was no danger! The officers would have protected us!" Lydia pouted.

"They were the ones who put you in danger! No true gentlemen would have encouraged a lady to be in a place like that, especially ones so young as you and Kitty." Jane turned toward her, keeping a hand on Kitty's shoulder.

"I told them the same thing," Mary insisted, stepping closer to them.

"There was nothing wrong with where we were. It was Meryton, not the streets of London! Just because Papa does not care for that street—" Lydia balled her fists.

"That street , as you call it, is a dark alleyway lined with questionable establishments, frequented by rough men." Jane stared into Lydia's face. "Can you tell me you did not see them standing around the doorways, staring at you and Kitty? Did you miss the lewd prints in the printshop window? Did you really not see those things?"

"No, I did not. You are making entirely too much of things that are of little significance." Lydia tossed her head.

Jane turned to study Kitty's face. "But you did; you noticed all those things." With a guilty look in her eyes, Kitty nodded. "Then why did you stay there?"

"I did not want to make Lyddie angry. I did not want the officers to think me a stupid little girl for being afraid," Kitty whispered, studying the carpet.

"Well, that's what you are!" Lydia shouted in Kitty's face. "You are a stupid little girl tagging along behind when no one really wants around. You saw — they were all paying attention to me! You are jealous, that is why you —"

"Lydia, that is enough!" Jane whirled on her. "You will not speak to Kitty that way. You are behaving like a child."

Lydia gritted her teeth and grumbled under her breath, her face turning red.

"If you are going to throw a tantrum like a child of two years, then you can do it without an audience!" Jane grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her upstairs to her room. "You do not need to come down for dinner tonight. We have no need of any more unpleasant scenes. Stay here and think about what you have done, and perhaps tomorrow we can have a proper conversation!" She shut the door firmly.

"See if I care!" Lydia screamed through the closed door. She dashed to her dressing table for the key. Running back, she jammed the key in and turned it hard. "See there, you have not locked me in, I have locked you out!"

Jane exhaled heavily and leaned against the wall, rubbing her temples. _ Perhaps Mr. Bingley was right; we should have stayed a little longer. _She sighed wistfully. After several minutes, she headed back downstairs. _ At least Kitty seems repentant; that is a hopeful beginning. _

Lydia paced her room angrily, muttering softly. "She is not my mother; she cannot tell me what to do. Papa does not care; he does not remember what it is to have fun. He cannot see how pretty I am and how much the officers like me. He is so bitter; he does not want anyone to have fun around him! I will show him. I will see Wickham, and I will see him today!" She flung open the window and stuck her head out. Seeing no one around, she leaned out and grabbed hold of the trellis near her window. She quickly scampered down.

Once her feet were on the ground, she brushed the leaves from her skirts and straightened her bonnet. _I will be to Meryton and back, and none will be the wiser._ She hurried away without so much as a backwards glance.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 **

Over the next fortnight, Jane frequently visited Mrs. Hurst and, despite Caroline's protestations, a genuine friendship formed between the two elder sisters. Even Lizzy's attitude toward Louisa softened after seeing Mrs. Hurst often enough without Caroline's unpleasant company. Bingley and Darcy regularly called upon Longbourn, much to Mr. Bennet's pleasure. The gentlemen often spent as much time with him as with his daughters, which, while they laughed about it in private, was much to the satisfaction of all.

On the morning before the assembly, Mr. Bennet sat in his study, playing chess with Darcy. A light rain pattered delicately on the window panes. They could hear Jane, Bingley, Lizzy and Mary in the parlor, conducting a lively debate on the merits of poetry.

"Your friend does not appear to be a great reader of poetry." Bennet he chewed his lip, deep in thought.

"No, he is not." The corner of Darcy's lips lifted in a wry smile. "I do not believe Bingley is a great reader of anything."

"He is quite amiable, but not the scholar, eh?" Bennet screwed his lips into an odd expression that melted into a smile. "Knight to queen's rook five." He listened for Darcy to move the piece.

"Interesting. That is an unconventional response." Darcy leaned forward to study the board carefully, trying hard not to listen to the conversation in the next room.

"It does seem as though Lizzy is calling him out on that lack of scholarship…and Jane is defending! They are an amusing party, are they not!" Bennet chuckled, cocking his ear toward the door.

"I believe you are trying to distract me, sir." Darcy smirked, clasping his hands together, thoughtfully. He leaned back in his chair again, enjoying the smell of the worn leather mixed with the scent of old books.

"No, indeed. If I were trying to distract you, I would do it directly. What are Bingley's intentions toward my daughter?" He heard Darcy shift suddenly in his seat. "So you have spoken to him of this?"

Darcy shuffled his feet and grumbled. He stared out the window at the dreary landscape. "I am glad I did not grow up under your watchful eye! Such scrutiny may be the best thing for girls, but you would surely have driven your sons mad!"

Bennet laughed until his belly ached. "Just wait until you are a father, and you will see things quite differently. I can imagine that any son of yours will be quite the little scamp, far too smart for his own good and quite able to wrap his mama around his little finger. He will need a close eye and a firm hand."

Darcy shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Bishop to queen's knight four." He placed the piece firmly on the chessboard with a clack and huffed as he leaned back in his seat.

"An interesting counter of your own, Darcy." Bennet crossed his legs and leaned forward, elbow on knee, bracing his chin in his palm. "But you still have not answered my question."

Darcy grumbled again, glancing about the room. The shelves were lined with books. A casual glance at the titles revealed a careful order to their placement. Knotted ribbons and cords hung along the spines of some. _ He still chooses the books himself despite the fact another reads. Amazing. _"My friend may not be a scholar, sir, but he is an honorable man. I believe his intentions toward Miss Bennet are entirely trustworthy."

Bennet nodded silently. "I am pleased to hear it. With a sister of your own to protect, I know you understand my concern." He tapped his lips with his index fingers. "King's rook takes pawn."

Darcy pressed his lips together in a hard frown as stretched forward across the board and executed the move, carefully placing the black pawn alongside the board with the other captured pieces. He peered at the board from the new angle, his brows lifting silently. Sitting back, he reached for a now cool teacup.

"So then, what are your intentions toward my Elizabeth?" Bennet asked evenly, face turned as though studying the board.

Darcy sputtered and sat back sharply. He set his teacup down awkwardly and fought to collect himself. "Excuse me?" A bright flush rose along his neck, creeping toward his cheeks.

"There is nothing wrong with your hearing, sir. What are your intentions toward her?" Bennet reached to pick up a captured piece from the side of the board and turned it in his hand.

"My what?" _ He cannot…no, it is not possible! _"You have gone too far now. I have done nothing to raise either her expectations, or yours." Anger tinged his voice as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh, come now! Do not pout! It is a well-known fact that a single young man of good fortune will be in want of a wife." Bennet chuckled, returning the pawn to the chess table.

"You have gone too far to suppose you know my intentions." He exhaled hard. "Besides, Miss Elizabeth has made it quite clear that she does not have such designs upon…"

"Anyone. Yes, I know, I have had that conversation with her often enough that she scolds me fiercely should I attempt to bring it up. I know her attitudes quite well. That is why I am not asking her."

"Then you should honor her wishes now." Darcy huffed and reached for his queen, his hand hovering for a moment, then returning to the arm of his chair.

"It is your move, you know," Bennet observed with an enigmatic smile. He struggled not to react as he felt Darcy's cold glare. 

_What does he imply? I have had my share of matchmaking mamas, but a father? This is not to be borne! _"Queen's bishop to king three." He placed his piece loudly.

"How is it that you come to know my daughter's rather prejudiced attitudes? It seems an unusual conversation for her to have with a gentleman." Bennet drummed his fingertips together.

"It was a private conversation." He squirmed in his seat.

"Is it not even more unusual for you to be having private conversations with a woman you have no intentions toward?" Bennet's lips lifted in a half smile.

"I will not discuss this," he muttered.

"You do not know what to make of a woman who has no designs upon you or your fortune, yet is willing to race your stallion, debate philosophy and then beat you soundly in a game of chess." He heard Darcy's posture soften and nodded."King's pawn to king's rook four."

Darcy made the move. "I have enjoyed my discussions with her. I believe she considers me her friend," he murmured, squirming.

"I see." Bennet stroked the stubble on his chin. "Her fortune is not so great as to be interesting to you, I know, and she has no great connections either. But there are other qualities that make her a rare gem should you desire to win her." Leaning back with a sigh, he laced his fingers. "I have no doubt that her mind could be changed for the right man. Should you desire to seek more than a friendship with her, you have my permission."

Darcy blushed and gritted his teeth. "Knight to queen's three. That is mate, sir."

"So it is, Darcy." He carefully reached forward and found his king, tipping it in defeat.

That night, Darcy paced the floor in Bingley's study, waiting for Caroline and Louisa. The drizzle had finally ended; the roads were muddy, but not sodden enough to slow the carriages. Sunbeams tinged with the first colors of sunset peeked through the dissipating clouds.

"Do stop that, Darcy! You will make them go no faster, but you will wear out the carpets!" Hurst leaned back in his chair, stretching his legs and crossing his ankles.

Bingley hurried in, straightening his jacket. "I have spoken with them, and they are no less than an hour from being ready." He tugged at his cravat, a trickle of sweat inching down the side of his face.

Hurst shrugged and folded his hands over his ample belly. "So we wait for them. What is new about that?"

"We must not be so late!" Bingley looked imploringly toward Darcy.

"What is your hurry. I do not understand why you are at sixes and sevens[sup]1[/sup] over this." Hurst tucked his chin and scowled.

"I am master of this house! Are none of my wishes to be respected?" Bingley's face crimsoned.

Hurst's and Darcy's mouths hung agape as they stared at their normally affable friend. "Come." Darcy took him by the elbow. "We shall ride into town. The carriage can follow when the ladies are ready." He looked at Hurst. "I imagine you would prefer to wait for your wife and sister?"

"I will." He nodded and settled back in his chair, ignoring the way it creaked beneath him.

Darcy guided Bingley out and toward the stables, carefully avoiding the puddles along the way. "Now, you will tell me why you are so agitated."

Bingley sighed as he waved for a groom to fetch their saddles. He watched the young man hurry off, then leaned heavily against the stable door post. Flies buzzed about, the familiar smells of the stables drained some of his tension. "I have asked Miss Bennet for the first dance of the evening."

"Surely that is not the entirety of your concern? If it is so simple, you can dance another with her. She has many sisters several of which I expect are no more punctual than yours. I have no doubt she will understand if you are late because of them." He crossed his arms and leaned back against the opposite door post.

"It is complicated." Bingley looked skyward and frowned. "I fear if I am not there for the first dance, she will be unable to dance with me at all." A horse whinnied and stamped in the stable, and he looked toward the sound.

"Why ever not? You are not talking sense!" He paused as the groom walked through with Bingley's horse and handed the reins over.

"Sir," the young groom turned to Darcy uneasily, "your horse…"

"I understand, prepare another, I think it would be best not to take Surtur tonight."

"Yes, sir." He hurried off and several moments later appeared leading a chestnut gelding. With a nod of thanks, Darcy swung up into the saddle, and the two gentlemen began their journey.

"I am still awaiting an explanation," Darcy demanded curtly, pulling his horse alongside of Bingley's.

"Last week, while having tea with Sir William and Lady Lucas, I heard her say to Colonel Forster that Mr. Bennet forbade his daughters from having anything to do with the regiment, and that she hoped the Colonel would not take offense."

"Given who is now attached to the regiment, I think it a very wise thing for Bennet to do." Darcy gripped his reins harder. "That cur should have nothing to do with ladies. The colonel is no gentlemen if he takes offense at a cautious parent."

"You know you really should tell Mr. Bennet, or at least Miss Elizabeth, about Wickham. They should know the truth about that man. Or perhaps the colonel," Bingley chided, ducking as his horse walked under a low hanging branch. "I need to have the gardener cut that back."

"You need to train your horse better." Darcy set his lips in a hard line. "Clearly, Bennet is already taking the proper precautions with his daughters. There is no need to bring any further risk to Georgiana's reputation."

"Bennet may be doing that, but what about the rest of the fathers and the tradesmen in town? There are more than the Miss Bennets at risk here." Bingley gazed at him intently.

"I must protect Georgiana." Darcy kicked his horse.

Bingley harrumphed and urged his mount to keep up. "I understand that. I have tried to cover Caroline's indiscretions enough times. I do understand. But do you not think that we…I mean you…have an obligation to protect…"

"My duty to my sister supersedes all other obligations. I will discuss this no further." Darcy pulled himself straighter in the saddle and squared his shoulders. _ I feel for all who Wickham may impose upon. But I cannot be responsible for their folly. It is enough that I must bear the burden of my sister's. _

They rode on in uncomfortable silence for a quarter of an hour. "You still have not told me why you are so concerned about getting there for the first dance," Darcy said.

Charles reached over and plucked a clump of leaves from the hedgerow and fingered it uncomfortably. Then he dropped it and watched as it fluttered to the ground to be crushed under his horse's hoof. "I was in town, at the vintners, and as I was waiting for him to return from the cellar, several young officers came in, including your Mr. Wickham, now Lt. Wickham."

Darcy ground his teeth and stared at the rocky ground.

"They kept to themselves, but I overheard the on dit [sup]2[/sup]. Wickham was boasting of how he had tipped the velvet[sup]3[/sup] with one of the local maidens, and that he had hoped to sample more of her favors, but was put out because her father had forbidden her to go to the assembly because she was too young."

"Wise man," Darcy muttered under his breath.

"Then they complained over how Miss Bennet had ruined their afternoon's sport when she called her sisters away, claiming they were needed at home. Apparently Lady Lucas told them of Mr. Bennet's contempt of the regiment, and they are planning to seek their revenge at the assembly tonight."

Darcy pulled his horse up short and wheeled him around to face Bingley. "Revenge! What are they planning?"

"Nothing so sinister as I fear you are thinking," Bingley backed away. "They plan to ruin this evening for Miss Bennet and her sister, nothing more."

"How?"

"They simply intend to ask the ladies to dance at the earliest possible opportunity, knowing they must refuse due to their father. Once the officers have been refused, then the ladies will have to refuse anyone else who asks as well. Wickham declared he plans to stand with the Miss Bennets and explain how their father has maligned him and has ruined the evening for them all." Bingley's voice dropped and his eyes narrowed, "You know how persuasive he can be. I fear he will besmirch Mr. Bennet's reputation. That will hurt Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth as much as if they had been cut themselves."

"The rag-mannered rake!" Darcy's horse shied nervously. He leaned in to soothe the beast. "We cannot allow it."

"Precisely."

"They are honorable ladies and do not deserve to be so ill-used." Darcy turned his horse again, and they set off at a faster clip. "That bell swagger must be stopped."

"Yes, yes, we have established that." Bingley huffed impatiently. "The question is how best to defend our ladies…"

Darcy pulled his horse up short again. The creature reared up slightly in protest. Once Darcy regained his seat, he glared first at the horse and then at Bingley. "Perhaps Miss Bennet is your lady, but you have gone too far in declaring her sister mine. I warn you again, do not trifle with her, Bingley. I have seen you infatuated with enough young ladies…"

"I am not dallying with her." Bingley stood in his stirrups while his horse tried to paw the ground. "I am entirely serious about her. For the sake of propriety, I must wait, but in another fortnight, I will petition her father for permission to court her. I hope very much to make her my wife before Easter."

Darcy recalled his earlier conversation with Mr. Bennet and smiled. "I am certain you will receive his approbation. Congratulations, my friend. I hope the lady is so willing."

"So you approve?" He eased back into his saddle.

"Do you need my approval?"

"No, but I should like it nonetheless." Bingley grinned.

"She is a fine, steady girl and very suited to your tastes and temperament. If she will have you, I think it will be a fine match." Darcy nodded encouragingly. "Though I fear Miss Bingley may object, quite possibly, Mrs. Hurst as well. They both have expressed their wish for you to find an heiress with society connections with whom to ally yourself."

"Miss Bennet has quite won Louisa and Hurst over. They will support me. You are correct though, I fear Caroline will be quite put out."

"And do not forget that your sister still has great prejudices against Miss Elizabeth and her father. She will be more difficult to reconcile to your choice." _ And her reaction would be mild compared to what my family would say to a woman such as Miss Elizabeth! _

"She despised our father's weakness as well. I pay her no mind in this matter. Miss Elizabeth is as fine a woman as is Miss Bennet." Bingley urged his horse into motion again. "I have seen none so suited to you. You converse so comfortably with her and are so easy in her company. Surely you have not failed to see this?"

"She does not mean to marry, Bingley."

"Then you must change her mind."

"Why would I do such a thing?"

"Because you are half in love with her already, and will be more so by the end of this night, when you rise to her defense. No woman has ever affected you this way, and you would be a fool to walk away from her." Bingley kicked his horse into a trot and pulled ahead.

Darcy lingered several lengths behind, contemplating what Bingley had said.

[sup]1[/sup] sixes and sevens: Confused or unsettled. From the Hebrew phrase, "Six, yea seven," meaning an indefinite number, as in Job (v. 19), "He [God] shall deliver thee in six troubles, yea in seven."

[sup]2[/sup] on dit : Gossip. From the French meaning "they say."

[sup]3[/sup] tip the velvet: To put one's tongue into a woman's mouth


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Since the road was muddy, a number of carriages pulled up in a line, waiting to drop their finely dressed passengers at the front doors of the assembly hall. Darcy and Bingley rode up the street and noticed the Bennet carriage third in the line. With a look, the two riders agreed and maneuvered their horses through the crowd to stop beside the Bennets' coach.

"Mr. Bingley!" Jane exclaimed though the open window.

"Miss Bennet! I am glad to see that our soggy roads have not delayed you. I feared we might be cheated of the first dance this evening." He doffed his hat and bowed as best he could from atop his horse.

"May I introduce my aunt and uncle, sir?" Jane leaned back in her seat so that Mr. and Mrs. Philips could peer out the window. "Mr. Bingley, Mr. and Mrs. Philips. My uncle is a solicitor in Meryton."

"Please to make your acquaintance," Bingley managed another awkward bow.

"Likewise, I am sure," Mrs. Philips replied politely. Turning aside, she winked at Lizzy who fidgeted uneasily.

Several minutes later, Bingley and Darcy dismounted and handed their horses off to waiting grooms. With a nod and a coin, they waved off the Bennets' driver and handed the ladies out of the carriage themselves.

"Thank you, Mr. Darcy," Lizzy smiled as he offered her his arm.

Mrs. Philips took her husband's arm. "I just saw the Gouldings across the way. We will wait for them here. You and Jane go ahead in, we shall see you inside." She winked at Lizzy again.

"Yes, Aunt," Lizzy replied with a sigh. As they watched her aunt and uncle walk away she struggled to recompose herself. "It is good of you to come in support of your friend. If he has been in as much anticipation as my sister, he has certainly been in need of a steady hand." Her eyes twinkled as she looked up at Darcy and laughed.

_What a delightful sound. There is too little laughter at Pemberley these days. What would it be like to have the corridors filled with such a sound? _Darcy fell into her eyes and smiled. _It is a good thing she does not mean to marry, for my head could be turned by one such as her. Until Georgiana is safely wed, I cannot risk anyone else discovering her ruin. It is impossible for me to consider taking a wife until then… _

"Where are the Hursts and Miss Bingley? I understood they meant to come tonight."

He blinked, startled out of his thoughts. "We came ahead when it appeared his sisters would cause us to miss the opening dance."

"Mr. Bingley was distraught over missing that? He is too good." She looked at him critically, "But it was you who suggested it, was it not?" Squeezing his arm briefly with her fingertips, she added, "That was very kind of you."

"I am glad to have your approval, Miss Elizabeth." His cheeks flushed.

They joined an informal line at the door where the master of ceremonies, Sir William Lucas, greeted everyone. "Have you met Sir William, yet?" Lizzy asked, a teasing look in her eye.

"I have not had the pleasure," he said softly, dipping his head toward her.

She pressed her lips together, suppressing a teasing smile. "He is currently serving as our mayor and is quite well looked upon in our community. You might see him as a large ginger cat who delights in knowing everyone," she whispered

Darcy pressed his lips hard to contain his laughter. "Do you always have such colorful ways to depict your neighbors?" he whispered back.

"I am afraid so. It began as a way to quickly acquaint my father with new people. It can be difficult to capture a new acquaintance in words, you see."

"I can see the usefulness." A small smile lifted just the corners of his mouth. _With that horrid feathered hat she wears, Aunt Catherine is an old hen, at the top of the pecking order… _He choked back a chuckle. "Dare I ask…"

"No, sir, you may not," she declared firmly, turning to look at Sir William. She struggled to keep a straight face. They stepped forward to greet their host. "Sir William, may I present Mr. Darcy," Lizzy said with a curtsey.

"You are Mr. Bingley's friend, no?" Sir William asked as he extended his hand. Darcy nodded. "A capital fellow he is, just capital. It is good to see Netherfield finally leased and to a party of such distinction, too." His deep voice had an odd rumbling quality as he shook Darcy's hand firmly. "We will have many young ladies in want of a partner this evening. Should you need an introduction, please just ask. But I see you have already have one of Hertfordshire's finest gems on your arm." He smiled graciously at Lizzy with a peculiar turn of his head that reminded Darcy of a cat rubbing his head against one's legs.

She blushed and bowed her head. "You are too kind."

Darcy turned to Lizzy with an unreadable expression. "Indeed, you are correct, sir." He tipped his head, and they proceeded into the assembly rooms.

Lizzy felt her cheeks grow even hotter as she cast a sidelong glance at Darcy. _He smiles with his eyes, but it is not so easy to see. No wonder I have heard him called proud; he does not invite such close inspection. _

After pushing past the crowd milling near the door, they paused to survey the chamber. "Welcome to our assembly hall. I am sure it is not as fine as the ones you are accustomed to, but it suits us well enough." Lizzy extended her hand toward the top of the room where tiers of benches overlooked the dance floor. "The door to the right leads to the card room and the one on the left to refreshments. I am afraid we cannot offer you billiards tonight, though Sir William has been working diligently to have a billiard room added here."

"I did not anticipate playing billiards this evening." His eyes scanned the room. A young woman was quickly approaching them.

"Maria!" Lizzy exclaimed as she slipped her hand from Darcy's arm and stepped forward to greet her. "Mr. Darcy, may I present Miss Maria Lucas, Sir William's daughter."

Darcy immediately noticed the resemblance between father and daughter. She had his same rounded shoulder posture and stub nose, together giving her a jolly air.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir." Maria curtsied, then turned hurriedly back to Lizzy. "Are Kitty and Lydia here?"

"No, I am afraid they were not able to come." She bit her lower lip and looked at the floor.

"Mary is home with them as well," Jane added as she came up beside Lizzy.

"Well that is of little matter; Mary has no interest in officers! " Maria giggled while Jane and Lizzy exchanged pained glances. "There is Col. Forster and Mrs. Forster and their officers! I am so glad they have come tonight!" She clapped her gloved hands excitedly. "Look, look! There is Lt. Wickham! Lydia will be so jealous! I shall dance with him, and she shall not! He has already asked me for two dances ! Oh look, he is coming over!" She patted her hair and smoothed her skirts.

Jane and Lizzy both took steps back and found Darcy and Bingley had closed ranks around them. Jane looked back and gave Bingley a grateful smile. He nodded to her encouragingly.

Three officers approached the group, Wickham stepping to the forefront. "Miss Lucas," he said as he bowed, "you are radiant tonight."

Maria blushed and giggled into her hand.

"I do not believe we have been introduced to your friends. I have been told there would be many ladies here in want of partners. We would certainly like to do our duty by them." He smiled charmingly, as his eyes raked over Jane and Lizzy.

Maria drew a breath to speak, but Darcy interrupted, "No introductions are necessary. I am well acquainted with Mr. Wickham." He glared and watched with satisfaction as Wickham's eyes grew large. "He is not a man to whom I would introduce any lady . I would thank you and your party to stay away from Miss Bennet and her sister."

Maria's jaw dropped as she stared at Darcy. He looked at her pointedly.

"If you will excuse us, the musicians are ready to begin the first dance." Darcy offered his arm to Lizzy whilst Bingley offered his to Jane. A moment later, they whisked the ladies onto the dance floor.

"Mr. Darcy," Lizzy finally gasped.

"You are correct, Miss Bennet, I do believe I neglected to ask you. Would you do me the honor of taking the first dance with me?" He bowed to her as the music began.

The dance was very familiar, and she took the first steps without thinking. She curtsied, and then stepped toward him. "I think it should be very awkward for me to refuse now."

He took her hands, and they moved gracefully through a turn. "Would you do so if you could?"

She glanced into his eyes and was surprised by the sudden vulnerability she saw there. "No, I am very pleased to dance with you, Mr. Darcy," she replied sincerely.

The smile came back into his eyes. "Please forgive me for being so forward, but it did not seem you wished to be acquainted with those men."

They stepped apart and turned to face the top of the room. After several more steps, they were close enough to speak again. "You are correct," she admitted very softly. "My father has forbidden it." She looked away, scanning the other dancers.

They separated again and circled about several other partners before they returned to each other.

"Your father is a wise man," Darcy said somberly.

"It seems you have already made Mr. Wickham's acquaintance."

"I have," he replied curtly.

Lizzy's brow knit. "May I ask…"

"Forgive me, madam, but I implore you, do not." He looked at her, pain briefly flashing in his eyes. "I know our acquaintance has only been of short duration, but I must ask you to trust me." He dropped his voice to nearly a whisper, "He is a stoat, fleeced with fine fur but ready to pursue females who are far too young."

Lizzy nodded somberly. "Thank you for your introduction to him. It is quite helpful. If you do not object, I will share that with Jane." He nodded somberly.

The music ended, and Darcy and Bingley guided their partners away from the top of the room where the officers had gathered. They spoke quietly for several minutes, finally interrupted by Bingley's sisters.

"Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth!" Caroline gushed warmly.

Louisa colored slightly. "This seems to be a lovely gathering," she said. "The musicians seem very lively tonight."

"They are indeed," Bingley agreed awkwardly.

They were joined by Sir William and two young men who flanked him on either side. He quickly introduced the young men as Samuel and Ben Goulding. Several moments later, the newcomers had secured Jane and Lizzy as partners for the next dance. When the opening notes called the dancers to the floor, Darcy and Bingley exchanged glances.

"May I have this dance, Mrs. Hurst?" Darcy asked, extending his arm. Louisa smiled and allowed him to guide her onto the floor.

"Caroline?" Bingley cocked his head. With an unhappy sigh, she followed her brother onto the floor.

As they moved through the steps, the two men kept one eye on their partners and one on the Bennet sisters, making sure to return to them when the music finished. The next several dances proceeded similarly, under the watchful eyes of their self-appointed protectors. Midway through the evening, Bingley invited Jane to join him for refreshments. Lizzy and Darcy followed them into the refreshment room.

The chamber was lined with tables along one wall bearing punch bowls and platters of small bites to eat. Throughout the room, smaller tables were set with linens and candles to accommodate those who wished to sit. Amidst the tables, people stood chatting with one another. Among them, Jane and Lizzy saw their aunt visiting with Mrs. Long and Mrs. Goulding. The furtive glances from those ladies made it clear that that the sister's earlier entrance on the arms of Bingley and Darcy was the topic of discussion. A moment later, Mrs. Philips excused herself from her friends and hurried to join her nieces.

Assured the sisters would be well chaperoned, Darcy and Bingley excused themselves to obtain refreshments and seats for their party.

"My dear girls, are you enjoying the assembly tonight?" Mrs. Philips asked with a backward glance at the retreating gentlemen.

"Yes, thank you," Jane replied with a serene smile. "Thank you and Uncle for being our chaperones tonight."

"Well of course, dear, your uncle and I are happy to do anything we can for you. Not having daughters of our own, we quite think of you both as ours." Mrs. Philips smiled condescendingly.

Lizzy looked away, struggling not to roll her eyes. She noticed a number of young ladies in the room with their eyes firmly upon Darcy and Bingley. She felt her eyes narrow and a tension build in her shoulders. A light touch on her arm broke her contemplation.

Mrs. Philips leaned in and lowered her voice. "I imagine you have been enjoying the attentions of Hertfordshire's most eligible bachelors?" Her lips lifted with a knowing smile.

Lizzy blushed fiercely. "Please, do not make more of this than you ought. We are neighbors, and Mr. Bingley's sister, Mrs. Hurst, is our friend."

"Well, I am most glad to hear you say that." She sighed with relief as her hand flew to her chest. "I would not see either of you brokenhearted over the likes of them. I know it is tempting to raise your hopes, but such gentlemen are not likely to lower themselves to ladies with such connections as yourselves."

Jane's eyes widened, while Lizzy drew breath to protest.

A look of surprise came over Mrs. Philips face. "Oh, no, not the Gardiners, I assure you I was not speaking of them. They are fine people you know, and they rub shoulders with some excellent connections. I speak, of course, of your father."

Lizzy's features hardened as she clenched her jaws.

"Please, Aunt, let us not speak of such things," Jane pleaded, placing her hand lightly on her aunt's arm. She flashed a warning glance at Lizzy.

"Of course, dear." She clasped Jane's fingers. "Tell me, is it true that proud Mr. Darcy refused to introduce Lt. Wickham and his friends?"

"Why do you ask?" Lizzy asked mildly, but Jane recognized the fire in her sister's eyes.

"Everyone is talking about it! He was overheard, you see, when Lt. Wickham approached you…"

"Ah…well…" Jane stammered with a desperate look on her face.

"We had no wish to be acquainted with them," Lizzy replied firmly.

Mrs. Philip looked over Lizzy's shoulder. They turned to follow her gaze. At the far corner of the rooms, they could see their uncle speaking with a knot of men in red coats. "Of course, you wish to meet them. You do not need to defend a proud disagreeable man like that, despite his wealth. He is so far from your sphere that you will lose nothing speaking the truth of him."

Lizzy grimaced, "But, Aunt…"

Ignoring her, Mrs. Philips continued, "I would think soldiers to be much more understanding of your…circumstances. I will have your uncle arrange for introductions."

"Please, do not," Lizzy protested, but Mrs. Philips had already walked away.

A moment later Bingley and Darcy approached, punch cups in hand. "I am afraid there is no place where we can all sit together," Bingley announced, handing a cup to Jane.

Darcy pressed a cup toward Lizzy. "Miss Elizabeth, you look quite distressed; what is the matter?"

"Thank you, Mr. Darcy," Lizzy sipped the punch. "I am afraid our aunt is petitioning our uncle to make introductions for us… with Mr. Wickham and his friends."

"Despite the fact your father has forbidden it?" Darcy's eyes flashed angrily. _She is no better than Mrs. Younge! _

"She feels that he does not adequately understand our…" Jane hesitated and quickly glanced at Lizzy, "…our circumstances. Our connections you see… She only seeks to be helpful." She pressed her lips hard with a sad look at Bingley.

"That is not the kind of help you need," Darcy harrumphed, "and your connection to your father," he looked directly into Lizzy's eyes, "is not a connection to be ashamed of. He is a fine man, and I am pleased to count him among my friends." His cheeks tinged with color as he made his declaration.

Lizzy stared at him wide-eyed and grateful. Bingley turned to Jane with a self-satisfied nod. "Why do we not adjourn to the card room for a rubber of whist? I heard someone saying that there were several empty tables there."

"I think that sounds splendid," Jane declared, taking Bingley's arm.

Darcy grumbled and nodded, happy to feel Elizabeth's small hand in the crook of his elbow again.

"You do not favor cards, do you, Mr. Darcy?" Lizzy said softly as he escorted her from the room.

"You are assuredly your father's daughter," he muttered under his breath.

"But I am correct?" she pressed.

"I care for Mr. Wickham even less," he replied tersely.

"What has he done?"

"Please do not speak of it. Can we just say that my good opinion once lost is lost forever? He lost my favor many years ago," he insisted with greater force than he intended. He felt Lizzy's arm stiffen in his, but she did not reply. A quick glance at her face confirmed his suspicions. "Forgive me, Miss Elizabeth, I did not mean to speak so harshly."

Swallowing hard and keeping her face looking forward, she nodded.

Darcy felt a cold sensation grip his chest. He paused, forcing her to stop as well. Finally, she turned to face him, the hurt evident in her dark eyes. "I am truly sorry. My history with the man is quite unsettling. There are things I do not wish to revisit. But, you do not deserve to have me take that out on you." His eyes pleaded for forgiveness.

She stared into them; then sighed, a small smile creeping over her face. "I am not made for melancholy, Mr. Darcy; you are forgiven."

"Thank you," he whispered, then led them into the card room.

After several hands of whist, even Darcy conceded he was enjoying himself. Lizzy's steady supply of witty observation and Jane's gentle teasing turned a typically dreary pastime into something quite memorable. Darcy's lightheartedness, however, dissolved when he noticed Mr. Philips and Wickham entering the card room. Immediately, he straightened in his seat and gave Bingley an alarmed look. He looked toward the doorway; Bingley followed his gaze; Jane and Lizzy did likewise. Jane's jaw dropped, and she turned to Lizzy.

"I believe I hear the musicians starting up for the next set," Darcy announced, pushing his chair back. He rose and moved to Jane's chair. "Miss Bennet, may I have this dance?" She smiled weakly and took his arm.

"Miss Elizabeth?" Bingley pulled her chair out and offered his arm.

The two couples walked around the perimeter of the room, ducking behind Mr. Philips to make their escape. As they exited, Jane and Lizzy shared a giggle.

After the set, the Lucas twins, John and James danced the next two with the Bennet sisters. Darcy and Bingley continued to keep a watchful eye upon them while they chatted with several

local gentlemen with small estates on the other side of Meryton. At the end of the second set, Darcy nudged Bingley and jerked his head toward the far side of the room.

Jane and Lizzy finished the set at the top of the room near their uncle. Immediately, Mr. Philips took their arms and led them toward a small group of officers. They excused themselves from their conversation and hurried toward the ladies. As they approached, they could hear Mr. Philips saying, "May I present my nieces, Miss Jane Bennet and Miss Elizabeth Bennet. This is Lt. Wickham, late of Derbyshire. I believe you share an acquaintance in Mr. Darcy."

"Finally I have been introduced to the renowned Miss Bennets!" Wickham exclaimed, bowing low. "Two of Hertfordshire's finest jewels… Indeed, Sir William was correct. It is truly a shame that the assembly is about to draw to a close and there is only once dance left." He glanced over Lizzy's shoulder, a malicious glint in his eye. "Would you have this last dance with me?"

She shook her head, but her uncle cut her off, "She would be delighted…"

"I believe the last set is about to start," Darcy suddenly declared from just behind her. "You have not forgotten you have promised this set to me?" He took her hand and bowed over it. Bingley nodded and placed Jane's hand in the crook of his arm.

"Oh, ah, indeed, sir," Lizzy stammered and allowed him to lead her to the bottom of the room with Jane and Bingley close behind.

The couples took their places in the set, giving Lizzy a moment to regain her composure. As the music started, she smiled and curtsied. They approached each other and circled one another. "You seem to be making a habit of assuming I will dance with you, sir," she teased.

"You seem to be making a habit of needing to be rescued from the hands of unsavory young men, madam," he countered with a wry smile. They moved back into their lines and hopped several steps right and left.

When they finally came together again, Lizzy teased, "Have you appointed yourself my knight in shining armor?" She saw him color. _Oh dear, I have said too much! What can he think of me now? _

They took hands and twirled about, then stood back to back. He leaned slightly back and whispered, "Yes, m'lady." _If only you can wait for me… _


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Early the next morning, Elizabeth hurried out of the house with a small bundle in her hands. She had informed Mrs. Hill of her plans and gathered the makings of a simple meal from the kitchen before making her way out the back door. She turned away from the stables and hurried on foot toward the path to Oakham Mount. There was too much on her mind today for riding; she wanted to be able to focus on her own thoughts. The assembly had left her mind and heart in a tumult, and she needed quiet and solitude to find her equilibrium once again.

The familiarity of the path meant she could allow her mind to wander as she walked. Immediately her thoughts returned to the night before. _ I do not understand how Aunt and Uncle Philips could so easily disregard Papa's wishes. _Her steps became brisker, her heart beating faster as the color rose in her face. _ It is not for the Philipses to usurp Papa! They may not agree with him, but that does not give them leave to do as they choose. _She yanked a twig from a nearby bush and slashed it through the air. _ I shudder to think what might have happened if my younger sisters had been there last night. I have no doubt Lydia would have been on Lt. Wickham's arm and flaunting it in front of Maria to boot! _

Huffing angrily, she tossed the twig aside. _ I dare not tell him though, lest it cause a rift between him and the Philipses. I know he is quite intractable in this matter of the officers, and Aunt Philips can be so very determined herself. I can see them quite at odds over it all. I must speak to Jane…oh Jane… _A small smile crept over her lips. She paused a moment, in a clearing beside the path. The sun was just coming up over the horizon, the pink rays teasing awake the small valley below. She breathed deeply, enjoying the fresh smells of the dew-laden grass. Two birds began calling back and forth to one another. _ They sound like Lydia and Kitty quarreling. _

She returned to the path to finish her trek to the top. _ Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy were so very attentive last night. I am sure they knew something more than they revealed. Surely Mr. Darcy's dislike of Mr. Wickham alone could not have motivated their attentions. _

_I have no doubt Mr. Bingley will be speaking to father soon regarding Jane. Last night, he showed himself worthy of her. He is not the puppy I thought, but a fine hunter who will guard his own faithfully. She deserves no less. _She ducked a low hanging branch, hissing as a large leaf slapped her cheek. Muttering under her breath, she looked over her shoulder to glare at the offending limb, laughing at herself as she did. _ Oh, but I shall miss her. Perhaps they will settle at Netherfield. Mr. Bingley does not seem to find our family so burdensome that he would need to flee from us._ She chuckled again. _ He actually seems to like Papa, and Papa appears to enjoy his company…despite the fact that he does not play chess. _

She blew out a deep breath as she arrived at her destination. Brushing off her favorite fallen log, she glanced about then settled down to contemplate the blossoming sunrise. For several long minutes, she just enjoyed the masterpiece before her, the fingers of dawn wrapping the landscape below in a golden glow. The scolding birds stopped, replaced by a choir of birdsong. A gentle breeze, fragranced with loam, stroked her face. For a moment, serenity bathed her.

_Yes, m'lady. _His voice rang in her ears; the feeling of safety she felt in his presence so like what she felt sitting here, now. She closed her eyes and turned her face to the sky, the soft sunlight kissing her cheeks. Unbidden, the image of him kissing her face leapt to her mind; her cheeks burned. _ Yes, m'lady._ She covered her face with her hands and drew a deep breath.

_What could he have meant by that? Had any other man made such a statement, I would not give it a second thought, but Mr. Darcy? He is not given to fancy words nor prattling on as other young gentlemen. _She laughed to herself. _ Katie Long's beau…what cork-brained gibbering spewed forth from his lips! _She cupped her cheek and drummed her fingers softly over her temple. _ But not him; he speaks so little, except when he is in company with Papa, or Mr. Bingley…or to me. _

She felt a flush rising up her neck, her mind flashing back to her unconventional meetings with him in the field and in the library. _ I still cannot believe how easy it was to speak with him, the way that I remember father and mother were with each other. I know they were not always such, but they became so. How lovely it would be to have such a marriage from the start… _Her hand flew to her mouth, and she gasped. _ Marriage? What am I thinking? I shall not…I cannot…but if I did… _

Suddenly she felt a soft touch on her shoulder and hot breath on her cheek. Jumping, she squealed and turned to find Surtur staring at her. Immediately she grasped his bridle with her left hand, seeking his reins with the other. "What are you doing here?"

The black stallion's sleek coat glistened in the morning light. He shook his head, tossing his mane, and snorted.

"You are all dressed out for riding," she murmured, stroking his neck, "but I see no sign of …" she glanced around the stallion, "…of your master. So either you have thrown him, and he is hurt…" her chest tightened at the thought, "…or you have been a very naughty horse and have slipped away from him when he expected you to stay where you were told."

She ran her hands along his cheeks and looked into his dark eyes. "Yes, you were very naughty indeed; he is far too good a horseman for you to have thwarted." He tossed his head and pawed the ground. "You cheeky boy. Now we must go and find your master and return you to him." She patted his nose.

"Now, you will not like this very much, I am sure," she said pleasantly as she approached his side. Confidently, she adjusted the stirrups for her smaller frame. "I know none of the grooms can ride you." She patted and stroked his side soothingly. "I expect that you are like Toppur, and none but your master has ridden you. But perhaps it is time that you learn to accept a mistress." She coaxed him nearer the fallen log so she could stand upon it to reach the stirrup, then gracefully swung up into the saddle.

Surtur's eyes grew wide and his nostril's flared with the unfamiliar weight upon his back. He snorted and pawed at the ground. "There, there," she cooed, "I know this is not familiar to you, but you will find I will not be easily dissuaded."

He shook his head and skittered nervously. Throwing up his head, he whinnied loudly. She continued to stroke his neck and speak soothingly to him. But he began to back up, crouching down on his hind legs. "Oh no, you will not!" she declared, moving his head opposite his haunches with a wide opening rein while she vigorously urged him with her leg.  
>Though agitated by the unfamiliar rider, he was well trained and surged forward at her insistence.<p>

"There you go; that's a fine horse. So much like my Toppur, you are." She smiled to herself.

Twice more, Surtur attempted to rear up, but both times she mastered the stallion. Finally, she guided him toward the path. "Take me back to him. Where were you? Willard's field? We shall try there first." Slapping the reins and clucking her tongue, she directed him forward.

He carried her down the path a short way, then paused and pricked his ears. "No, no, we are going to do this my way," she insisted with a small kick to his sides. He took off at a brisk pace, veering close to the trees.

She dropped down close to his neck to avoid a low tree branch. "I have seen that trick before and many others as well. You will soon know that I am not so easily fooled."

With a final snort, Surtur trotted down the path to Willard's field.

Near dawn, Darcy left Netherfield on Surtur to visit Willard's field. Although he knew it was very unlikely, he still hoped that perhaps he might see Elizabeth there. His heart fell when they arrived at the field and she was not to be found. With a sigh, he kicked his horse into a run, and they dashed over the field, rider and master relishing the wind in their faces.

Finally spent, Darcy guided the stallion to a copse of old trees near a small brook. He slid from his saddle and carelessly looped Surtur's reins around a tree stump, close enough to allow him a drink. Darcy knelt by the stream and scooped several cool handfuls to his mouth, savouring the sweetness of the water. With a final cooling splash to his face, he sighed and pushed himself up. Water droplets fell from his chin to his chest, dripping onto the once crisp linen of his now disheveled shirt.

Mindlessly, he walked to a large rock bathed in the rosy rays of the dawn. He sat down heavily, noticing the coolness of the stone. Elbows on his knees, he dropped his face into his hands, his mind whirling with conflicted thoughts.

_Have you appointed yourself my knight in shining armor? _Her words echoed over and over in his mind, followed by his own. _ Yes, m'lady. _His guts clenched as he confessed to himself the shocking truth— she had captured him. The petite country miss from Herdfordshire who ran her father's estate and rode an unmanageable stallion had seized his attention, and no other woman could compare. His life would never be complete— Pemberley would never be home again— without her.

_But how? I cannot… I must not… Georgiana must be protected at all costs. Andrew's mourning will be over soon; just a few months more should be sufficient. But I have not heard from him in months now. It would be too much like him to have become distracted on the continent in whatever he has found to drown his sorrows. _He groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. _ That is not fair. Andrew has never been given to excess; I would hardly have agreed to Georgiana's plans had that been the case. Perhaps Richard knows where he is now, so that I might write to him about his plans. Once they are settled, then, after a respectable time, some months perhaps, then I will be free… _Two loudly squawking birds flew past. "Argh!" He stood and clutched his temples.

Angrily he stomped downstream. _ Aunt Catherine will begin to scold and peck at me the moment Georgiana is married. She will be planning my wedding to Anne the moment my sister's wedding breakfast is over! How am I to convince her that Anne and I will not wed? Since my cousin will not abide living anywhere but Rosings or Heatherington House in London, and when in London she will not go out, there will be little opportunity for her to meet anyone, let alone a suitor. Even if she did, it likely would be one seeking a Smithfield bargain [sup]1[/sup] without any regard for her. She does not deserve that! I must protect her from such a fate. _Darcy crouched down to the water once again, dipping his hand into the stream. B_ut I will not do so by marrying her. _

He looked skyward, blinking in the increasing brightness. _ Aunt Catherine can be vengeful when she does not get her way. I have no doubt she would be willing to destroy Elizabeth in the eyes of the ton in retribution for my disobedience. No matter how little Elizabeth cares for society, I cannot subject her to that! No, until I have managed Aunt Catherine, I cannot marry anyone. _He grumbled low in his throat and raked his hand through his unkempt hair. _ I had everything so neatly ordered before I agreed to accompany Bingley here. 'You need a rest,' he said. I am now more torn than ever before! How have things become so complicated? _

He pushed himself up, flinging water droplets from his hand. Tossing his head back, he sighed and began trudging back to Surtur. But when he arrived at the stump, there was no sign of the stallion. He grumbled low in his throat and raked his hands

"Bloody hell and damnation!" Darcy snarled in frustration, kicking at a clump of grass. "I should have known to tie him down! That willful beast!" He looked impotently about the field, willing his horse to appear.

A disturbance in the trees at the far side of the field caught his attention, and suddenly Surtur, with a small figure perched in his saddle, appeared. Darcy stared wide-eyed, gasping. He watched as the stallion attempted to rear and was expertly urged forward. A moment later, he was a black blur, racing across the field. "Elizabeth!"

Half horror and half fascination, he watched as Surtur flew over the landscape, finally slowing to a trot, then a walk. So entranced at the sight was he, that he was almost surprised to realize that the pair was approaching him. Finally, they were at his side. "Elizabeth!" he exclaimed, and he took the horse's halter in his hand. "Good God, woman, what are you doing?"

Windblown and breathless, her bonnet hung by its strings at her neck. "I should think it obvious, sir. I am riding your horse." A brilliant smile blossomed over her face. "He is a fine stallion!"

"I am the only one who rides him!"

"I assumed as much. But, since you did me the favor of exercising Toppur when I was indisposed, I thought I would do you the courtesy of returning your wayward steed to you." She threw her leg over the stallion's side and slid down. As her feet hit the ground, the horse side stepped and bumped her softly. She stumbled into Darcy's arms. "Oh!"

Without thinking, he caught her and drew her close. He felt her regain her balance, but he did not release her. "How could you endanger yourself in such a way?" he whispered into her hair.

"If you could master Toppur, why should I not ride Surtur? That was no more dangerous than your riding my stallion. Like your own mount, no one else has ever ridden him," she murmured into his chest. She looked up at him, captivated by the raw emotion she found there.

Before he realized what he was doing, he bent his head and kissed her. Their lips met, and his heart exploded, his resolve evaporating like the dew on the grass. Her ardent response surprised and delighted him. Tangling his hand in her disheveled hair, he deepened his kiss until his heart pounded so loudly in his ears, he could hear nothing else. Finally, he pulled back slightly to stare into her eyes once again. "Elizabeth," he whispered.

The moment his lips touched hers, everything seemed to change. Her resolution gone, she melted into his embrace and returned his kiss, until, breathless, she had to pull away. "Forgive me, sir. That was highly improper of me," she whispered, her cheeks hot and her eyes shimmering. The reality of what she had just done settled heavily upon her. Concern filled her eyes. "What are we to do now?"

"I think thing there is only one thing for this." His lips lifted into a pleased smile that extended into his eyes. "You must marry me."

"Marry you? Do not joke with me thus; it is ungentlemanly!" She pulled away and took a step back and stared at him, eyes blazing. Her jaw dropped as her eyes bore into his. "You cannot be serious! I am not a suitable wife for a gentleman such as you."

"How can you say…"

"Oh quite easily, sir," she turned aside to pace beside the now quiet Surtur. "My faults are many and not difficult to discern. I am certain we have discussed this before, but I am willing to remind you since you appear to have forgotten. Let us begin with my fortune; it is most certainly not enough to tempt a man like you. I have no doubt that your sister has at least twenty thousand pounds, if not far more. My dowry can do little to replace such a loss to your capital, and that is not a hardship to be easily dismissed. There is no doubt you are very wealthy, but even you must feel a blow such as that. You live by the land, subject to the whims of weather. To lose such reserves must be considered a very foolish risk on your part.

"Beyond that, I am not nearly of the first circles and have no connections. What will that do to your sister's prospects?" He winced. "See, you know! As I understand, she is no older than Lydia. What kind of guardian would you be to her to fail to take into account the very severe effects I would have on her prospects? Can you afford to be so frivolous with her future?"

A pained expression filled his eyes. He pressed his lips tightly.

She took several more steps back. "Moreover, your family will have nothing to do with me; they will certainly eschew you on my behalf…"

"Stop it," he commanded, striding firmly to her. "I will hear no more of this."

"How dare you speak to me…"

He took her shoulders firmly and turned her to look at him. His heart tightened when he saw the tears flowing down her cheeks. "My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, how long has it been since I have considered you one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance? I believe I first had that thought here, in this field." He glanced about the grassy space. "You have grown only more dear to me since then."

"That changes nothing! I cannot alter what I am…"

"I do not want you to. What you are is already perfect—perfect for me. I am a country gentleman, like your father. My family is an ancient line of landed gentry. We are tied to our home and our lands, not to society and its whims. London and its frivolities hold little appeal to me. I already know you love the land as I do, and manage it as passionately as I. With what other woman could I have spoken for hours on the theory of crop rotations or the merits of a seed drill? Such romantic topics, I know, are enough to spur the imagination of any young woman!" He threw his head back with a sonorous laugh. "Do you not understand what a delight it is to have a conversation of substance with a woman I care for? Never, never have I experienced such a thing, and I do not believe I can give that up. As to your fortune, I know what you did for Longbourn, and I have no doubt that with your help, we can replace my sister's fortune easily enough. I do not need to marry with regards to money."

She stared into his eyes longingly. "But, my father…"

He brushed her tears away with his thumb. She pressed her cheek into his palm, and he caressed her brow. "Your father has already given me permission to try to change your mind about marriage."

"That is not what I meant!" She scowled. "I cannot believe…"

He silenced her with another kiss. "Though he is blind, I believe he might see more clearly than any of us. Do not take offense at him."

Pressing into his hand again, she sighed. "I do not; he only wants the best for his daughters. But I do not think he realizes…"

"He is no fool; he knows. But trust me, I would never see your father harmed by anything I had the power to change. Whatever might be done for him, I am willing to arrange. Be it a steward, a companion or even to live at Pemberley, it can be managed. I admire him greatly and will not see him suffer, even for the sake of making you my wife."

"He does not adapt easily to such things…" she protested weakly.

"I understand." He sighed and drew her tightly to him again.

Somehow, in the depth of his embrace, she knew that he did.

"There is time, though. The truth is, I am not at liberty to marry right now. There are pressing family obligations of which I cannot speak, but which must be fulfilled before I am free to follow my desires." He cradled the top of her head under his chin. "I would that we did not have to wait, but I have no choice. You have my word that I will explain when the time is right and my responsibilities are satisfied, but for now, I cannot. I suppose there is a blessing in that as it allows us the time to provide whatever your father needs to make the transition."

"How long?" she whispered hesitantly.

"I am sorry; I do not know. I know it is a great deal to ask, but will you wait for me?" He was certain that his heart stopped in the moment she took to answer.

Finally he felt her nod. "If, in that time, my father's needs can be met and I am assured of his happiness and security, as well as that of my sisters, I will wait for you, as long as it may take. If that cannot be accomplished, then…." _ I suppose I have lost nothing in the waiting. _

"Shh," he silenced her with a finger to her lips. "Say no more, m'lady, I have my answer." He kissed her again, his heart finally beating once more. She melted into his arms.

Several moments later, Surtur nudged them both. Darcy laughed heartily, reaching to stroke the stallion's nose. "He is a jealous one." Darcy watched as Surtur laid his head on Elizabeth's shoulder and snorted softly. "But it looks as though you have won him quite decidedly."

Elizabeth reached up to stroke the horse's cheek. Suddenly she frowned. "I was so distracted with him that I left something back on Oakham Mount…"

"May I have the privilege of escorting you there?"

"I would like that very much." Her smile warmed his heart.

Gathering Surtur's reins in one hand, he offered her his other arm. Together they made their way back up to the top of Oakham Mount, Elizabeth pointing out places of interest along the way. Once there, they sat together and shared the simple meal she had brought with her. Finally though, as the sun rose higher and higher, they knew they had to return. As they slowly made their way back, both wondered if what they hoped for would ever truly come to pass.

[sup]1[/sup] A bargain whereby the purchaser is taken in. It is also used for marriages contracted solely for monetary gain, a reference to women being bought and sold like cattle in Smithfield.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Before they parted ways, Darcy had promised her that he and Bingley would call upon Longbourn later, and he would speak with her father. Although she had offered to speak to him herself, Darcy would have none of it. "I fear my behavior has been most inappropriate, and I could not bear it if your father were cross at you for that. No, I will face him and the tongue lashing which may ensue."

"I hardly think that necessary," she insisted. "It is not as though I was an unwilling party throughout." She smiled up at him mischievously.

He twined his fingers in a stray curl near her face. "You were not?" His eyes twinkled, and his cheek dimpled. She lifted her brows, and he leaned in to share a last kiss. "No, I suppose you were not. Nevertheless, I will not be moved." His smile broadened. "Since he all but insisted that I court you, it is fitting that I make my report to him."

Finally she relented, giving way to his insistence. But the weather conspired against them. By noon, dark clouds had gathered and shortly thereafter, a fierce storm began that would not let up for another two days. Lizzy was able to keep her peace during the first day, but by the second, she could no longer hold her tongue. Shortly after dinner, she called Jane up to her room to talk. No sooner was the door closed behind them than she excitedly spilled forth her news.

"Engaged? To Mr. Darcy?" Jane gasped, arms firmly crossed as she fell into a chair. "Surely you must be joking."

Elizabeth sat heavily on her bed. "This is a fine beginning, if not even you will believe me." She pressed her steepled fingers to her lips.

Jane scooted from the chair to sit beside her. "Is this not very sudden?"

"I confess that it is. I do not believe that either of us had any idea of its happening." She shrugged and lifted her hands, bewildered.

"You just happened upon him whilst walking, and he made you an offer of marriage?" Jane pulled her knees up under her chin and stared at her sister intently.

Lizzy sighed. "No, it was not quite like that. I found his horse wandering on Oakham Mount, and I rode him back to find his master…"

"You rode that enormous stallion? Mr. Bingley said that the grooms want nothing to do with that beast!" Jane's eyes widened in horror.

"He is little different than Toppur," Lizzy said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "high spirited and headstrong. He was challenging, though, and Mr. Darcy was quite surprised when I arrived at the field atop him."

"So I should imagine," Jane huffed under her breath.

"When I dismounted, I stumbled, and Mr. Darcy caught me…" Elizabeth's cheeks colored brightly. "…then…the next thing I knew, he proposed."

Jane's brows rose high. "I have a feeling, dearest sister, that you are perhaps leaving something out…like a kiss perchance?"

"Oh," she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.

"It is as I thought!" Jane nodded triumphantly. Her expression became more serious. "One could say that he compromised you…"

"No!" Lizzy jumped to her feet and glowered. "Do not speak that way. Mr. Darcy is most gentlemanly…" She paced the length of the tidy room.

"I am not sure that many would consider what you have described to have been proper behavior from either of you," Jane scolded. "I am surprised at you, Lizzy. Really, considering what we have been experiencing with Kitty and Lydia, I cannot imagine that you should be so thoughtless. Are we not supposed to be models for them to follow? Is this what you would want either of them to be doing, alone, in the woods with a man?"

"Jane?" Her face lost all color.

"Why do you look so shocked? Have you not actually considered what you have done?"

Lizzy's mouth opened and closed as she struggled to find words, but could not.

"Truly, I am disappointed in you." Jane frowned, pushed herself up and walked toward her sister.

A sob caught in Lizzy's throat as she looked at Jane in shock. She opened her mouth to retort, but could not speak. A moment later she fled the room, not knowing where she was going, just away. Not quite realizing how she got there, she found herself at the door to her father's study.

"Come in, Lizzy," he called, recognizing her footsteps. She paused only a moment before she rushed in. He noticed the raggedness of her breathing and opened his arms. In two breaths she was beside him on the settee, sobbing wretchedly on his shoulder. He held her tightly until the tears subsided. He fumbled to pull a handkerchief out of his pocket and press it into her hand. "Now, my dear, will you not tell me what has you in such a tumult?"

She drew a deep breath and tried several times to begin, but only succeeded in stammering and crying once more.

"I see; that is quite a dilemma," he teased gently, a wry smile lifting one side of his mouth. "If you cannot tell me, I fear I will have to try to guess, and you know that never seems to be a useful exercise." Finally she giggled, dabbing at her eyes with his handkerchief. "Did you quarrel with Jane?" he asked softly. She nodded into his shoulder, sniffling. "That is unlike either of you. Will you not tell me what happened?"

It took several minutes and much soothing and coaxing, but she finally confessed the entire story of her encounter with Darcy and her conversation with Jane.

"Well, my dear," he leaned back, arm still firmly around her, "that is quite a tale. I hardly know where to begin." He brushed back his thinning hair. "It is difficult for me to disapprove of the outcome, though, considering I have already granted my permission for him to court you."

"The way I understand it, you all but ordered him to do so," she teased, some of the sparkle returning to her eyes.

"He told you that, eh?" He smiled wryly. "Ah, well, call it what you will. Obviously he understood me, perhaps a little too well." Mr. Bennet chuckled softly. "It is just your way of going about this that leaves something to be desired."

"I know I have disappointed you. If only I had learnt to be a proper lady…" she choked back a small sob and buried her face in her hands.

"Hush now, Lizzy, I said no such thing. You know my notion of a proper lady has never aligned with the ton , but rather something far more enduring. It is not coincidence that I have had you read to me from the last chapter of Proverbs so often. That is my notion of a proper lady, one that you fits very well." He carefully reached and found her face, tucking an unruly curl behind her ear. "Mr. Darcy appears to agree with me."

"But Jane was right, it was so very improper…"

Mr. Bennet sighed, "I certainly would not approve of Lydia meeting a young man alone in the woods, much less of her kissing him." He frowned, his stomach knotting at the thought. "But, you are not your sister, and I am convinced that you did not anticipate this clandestine meeting. While I will insist that you conduct yourselves more circumspectly in the future, I do understand and cannot condemn you."

Lizzy pulled back and stared at him. "Truly, Papa?" She sniffled and bushed tears from her cheeks with her palms.

"My dear, your sister is full young and at a time where she is all attitude and rebellion. I pray that it shall soon pass. She still requires firm supervision and cannot yet be trusted to make good decisions on her own. We lost your mother when you were her age, so you had little time to spend in your willful period. I am afraid you grew up very quickly, perhaps a little too quickly." He sighed and pulled her close. "You, my dear, are anything but willful. You are entirely dependable and trustworthy. Longbourn's prosperity is a testament to your wise management and decision making. If anything, you are too responsible. You have devoted yourself to all of us so whole-heartedly that you have lost sight of the need to make a life for yourself."

Lizzy listened quietly, and though what he was saying was familiar, it was as though she heard it for the first time.

"How you have argued with me every time I have tried to get you to see a future beyond Longbourn." He chuckled again. "You are very stubborn, my dear, as is your Mr. Darcy. I do not know all his reasons any more than you do, but I believe he has done much the same as you have, talked himself out of his own future in favor of his duty. You are both so hard-headed, it would have taken something quite startling for either of you to realize what has been staring you in the face for some time now."

"Am I really so…"

"Yes, dear, you are very much like your mother in that. She would not allow me to follow my inclinations after my injury. She insisted I present myself to the world as I was and to continue living. I know I did not make it easy for her; it was her stubbornness that eventually prevailed. I am ever grateful for it, as I am grateful for that trait in you. But it does have its limitations as well. I cannot see that either you or Darcy would have come to this agreeable conclusion if his stallion had not pushed you into his arms."

"But, Papa, how will you manage? I cannot leave you and my sisters! I cannot have you suffer on account of my own selfishness. "

"I am in no hurry to see you go, but I could not live with the guilt of your throwing away what you should have for me. I do not know how it will all work out, but we shall come to a solution, I am sure." He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I think perhaps Mr. Darcy might be consulted on these matters. I have a feeling that he might have some useful ideas to consider. After all, he has the best motivation in the world to see our dilemma resolved. It will be well, Lizzy dear, you shall see."

She swallowed hard. "I have not disappointed you?"

"I do not see how you could." He kissed the top of her head. "That is not to say I want you to repeat what you did this morning…"

Lizzy laughed, "I understand, Papa. Mr. Darcy told me he intended to call upon you that afternoon, but the weather turned so dreadful! I am certain…"

"I have no doubt he is quite honorable in his intentions. But I think I will call upon him myself tomorrow morning. I will ask Jane to take me to Netherfield…no, do not argue. I want to speak to her. I believe Mr. Bingley has left her discomposed, and I think it is time I had a talk with her. Some time away from the house with her is just the thing we need for that."

"Yes, sir."

"I know you have told Jane of your unusual understanding with Mr. Darcy. Please do not speak to your younger sisters of it right now. Until Mr. Darcy is at liberty to marry, I think it best not to say anything."

"I agree with you. The moment Lydia hears, it will be all over Meryton, and I am certain that will not suit Mr. Darcy at all. Perhaps I should not have said anything…"

He felt the tension return to her shoulders. "You could not have kept it from Jane. Do not fret. She cannot stay upset with either of us. I am sure you two will be right soon enough." He patted her shoulder. "Now, I am sure you cannot yet sleep, so how about you see if there is any shortbread or biscuits left in the kitchen, and we will have a game of chess."

Late that night, Jane crept into Elizabeth's room. "Lizzy?" she whispered from the doorway.

"I am here," Lizzy called quietly from the chair near the window. A soft glow from the dying fire just barely lit the room, reflecting off the raindrops trailing down the window pane.

Jane's bare feet padded softly across the floor. She sat on the floor beside Lizzy's chair and rested her head on her sister's knee. "I am sorry, Lizzy. I do not know what came over me. I so worried about Lydia, and the officers, and the gossip about Mr. Darcy's refusing to allow Mr. Wickham's introduction," she whispered, "…and Mr. Bingley."

The room was silent for a moment as they listened to the patter of soft raindrops on the glass and their father's ragged snoring down the hall.

Jane dragged her fingertips over the smooth worn wood of the floor, tracing the edge of the floorboard anxiously. "I should never have said what I did. I am very happy for you." She hugged Lizzy's knees.

"Thank you, I cannot bear it when you are cross with me. I do not ever want to disappoint you."

"You have not. That was a cruel and thoughtless thing to say, and I cannot tell you how I have regretted it. I was just so startled; I did not take time to think about what I was saying." She paused a moment, hiding her face in the folds of Lizzy's nightdress. "I confess, I think I was a little jealous, too. That is such a romantic notion…"

Elizabeth reached down to stroke her sister's hair. "You did not braid your hair. Can you reach my brush? Let me do it for you, or it will take you all morning to get the snarls out." Jane handed her the brush, and she patiently worked out the tangles and began to plait her sister's long locks. "I do not know when, or even if, we will ever marry. He said there are family obligations he must first manage."

"Oh, I did not realize…"

"It is still lovely to have been offered for." She tied a ribbon firmly around the thick braid.

"I am sure he will manage those things quickly. He will not leave you waiting for very long." She stood and moved behind Lizzy's chair, bending to wrap her arms firmly around her sister. "I am sure of it."

Though reassured by her reconciliation with Jane, sleep still eluded her, and it was nearly dawn when Elizabeth finally crawled under her covers and fell asleep. Shortly thereafter, the household began to rise. Just three hours later, all but Lizzy had risen and were taking breakfast. The rain had stopped sometime in the night, so Mr. Bennet had the gig readied, and he and Jane left soon after their meal. The three younger sisters remained at the table in the morning room, finishing their breakfast.

"I am so glad that dreary rain has finally stopped," Kitty remarked as she reached for a dish of jam.

"What does it matter? Papa keeps us locked up here like prisoners! I cannot recall the last time we were allowed outside without our jailors!" Lydia glanced over her shoulder to see Mrs. Hill walking past the doorway. "I swear that woman is always watching me!"

"Do not be so disrespectful, Lydia!" Mary scolded, leaning forward on her elbows.

Lydia snorted and made a face.

Kitty shot an exasperated look at Mary. "That is so unladylike, Lydia, you should really see what you look like when you do that."

"You are a fine one to be scolding me! Have you ever looked at yourself when you laugh? You look utterly ridiculous," she argued haughtily "Besides, Mr. Wickham found that expression amusing."

"Another reason we should all be glad you have been forbidden his company," Mary snapped, reaching for her water glass.

"Why are you all against him! Why are you not appalled at the way Mr. Darcy humiliated him at the assembly?" Lydia brought her hands down on the table sharply.

"I am sure he had a good reason, Lyddie," Kitty said softly, staring at the scone she was buttering. _You seem to know a great deal about that though Lizzy and Jane have said little. _

"Mr. Darcy is proud and arrogant, and that was his reason. He looks down on poor Mr. Wickham because Mr. Wickham is the son of Old Darcy's steward." Lydia tossed her head with an air of authority. "He has told me much of the wrongs Mr. Darcy has committed against him."

"Do you not think it interesting that Mr. Wickham freely gossips about Mr. Darcy's wrongs but Mr. Darcy keeps his peace?" Mary observed, looking at Kitty.

"Of course, it is because Mr. Darcy has nothing to say against Mr. Wickham. He is merely resentful that Mr. Wickham is so well liked despite his poor station in life," Lydia scolded.

"I would not be so certain," Kitty mumbled.

"I thought it was the perverse man who stirs people up against each other. He is using gossip to separate us.(1) We cannot consider those the actions of an honorable man." Mary glared at Lydia.

Lydia huffed loudly and threw her napkin down on the table. "No one wants your sermons, Mary! I have lost my appetite." She pushed her chair away and stomped upstairs to her room where she slammed the door and locked it behind her.

"Oh! They make me so angry! What do they know!" She clomped around her cluttered room, finally pulling out the chair at her dressing table and tossing aside the garments piled there. "They are ugly, freckled things! I swear Kitty has more freckles coming out over her nose every day! And Mary, with those horrid glasses and her stupid books, she looks like a spinster already, even more so than Jane and Lizzy! They have no beaus, no admirers; what do they know about men?" She unbound her hair and began brushing it.

"They are just jealous. They wish they could be as pretty and lively as I, with all the officers paying attention. That is why Papa forbade me from attending the assembly, lest there would be no one to dance with Jane and Lizzy!" She set the brush down and began carefully arranging her chestnut locks. "Papa is such an old bore! He does not remember what it is to have fun!

"Poor Wickham! It has been these three days together that he has not seen me. Well, I will remedy that! I shall see him today, no matter what anyone says! The last time, he talked of going to Greta Green. How romantic that would be! To return from there as Mrs. Wickham – how well that sounds! Oh that I should be the first one married and at just fifteen, the youngest of all my sisters!" She rose and twirled in front of her mirror. "Oh, this dress will not do at all. But this," she scooped up a yellow sprigged frock that had been draped over the side of the mirror, "will! I shall just carefully pack it up and change at the Lucases. It would not do to get mud all over it since I shall have to walk to town."

Humming to herself, Lydia carefully folded her dress into a neat bundle and wrapped it in a shawl. With a practiced grace, she swung out the window and scrambled down the trellis and hurried toward Meryton.

(1) PR 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Two hours later, Lizzy made her way below stairs, her mind on her intended walk. As she hurried past the drawing room, she nodded to Mary and Kitty, but did not stop to speak. She desperately needed her solitary stroll. Her father planned to talk to Mr. Darcy this morning. _Why, he's probably already there! _

Her steps became brisker as she tried to outrun her nervousness. The crunch of the gravel that normally soothed her, grated on her nerves._ I know Papa approves, and Mr. Darcy is not likely to suddenly change his mind just because Papa is speaking to him. Still, what will be said? Oh, I wish it would be proper for me to be there! _Her heart fluttered as she sat on one of the garden benches. She leaned back and drew deep breathes trying to calm herself. Above her, she noticed Lydia's open window, curtains rustling in the light breeze. _When did she change her mind about morning air? _

With a shrug, she returned to the house through the kitchen door. Immediately the tempting scents of fresh baking assailed her nostrils. Newly baked muffins sat cooling on the long table. With a furtive glance about the room, she took one.

"There are plenty of cool ones already set out!" Cook scolded, a twinkle in her eye as she slapped Lizzy's hand playfully.

"But they taste ever so much better fresh from the oven." Lizzy laughed, helping herself to a second one whilst deftly dodging Cook's good-natured rebuke. Her mouth full, she wandered into the parlor, looking for her younger sisters.

"Good morning, Lizzy," Mary greeted her as she looked up from her book.

Lizzy chewed and swallowed, but before she could reply, she yawned. "Excuse me!" She laughed, sitting down beside Kitty. Self-consciously she brushed crumbs from her chin.

Kitty turned and smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did, thank you. What are you working on?" She looked over Kitty's shoulder at the pile of light blue fabric in her lap.

"I got bored with this dress. So I decided to pull the bodice apart. I saw a magazine when I visited Maria, and it had a picture of a gown with insets on the bodice. So, I embroidered these," she held up two finely decorated pieces of pale yellow muslin and a handful of braided ribbons, "to fit into the bodice."

Lizzy traced the embroidery with her fingertips. "What a pretty pattern and those ribbons— what a clever idea. I would never have thought of it. I cannot wait to see it finished; it will be beautiful indeed."

"Thank you," Kitty looked over her shoulder and smiled a little shyly.

"I did not know you liked to embroider." She ran the braided ribbons through her fingers.

"I did not think that I did," Kitty muttered with a dramatic sigh. "But since Papa has restricted us to the house, I decided to try it again." She lifted her project into the light of a sunbeam to admire the detail. "I do think it looks rather well."

"Are you complaining again?" Mary chided wearily.

"No," Kitty pouted, looking down at her lap. "We should not have disobeyed him."

"I am glad you realize that." Lizzy patted he shoulder approvingly.

"But he is so unfair." Kitty dropped her work to into her lap dejectedly. "Why should he not want us to…"

Lizzy held her hand up for silence. "Enough. We must have a talk. I will get Lydia. Mary, request a fresh pot of tea; I have much to say to help you understand Papa." She rose and quickly made her way up to Lydia's room.

"Lydia, you are needed below stairs." She knocked loudly enough that her knuckles hurt. No answer came. "Lydia!" Elizabeth rapped on the door again; still there was no response.

Finally pounding with her fist, she yelled, "Lydia!" Frustrated, she tried the door only to find it locked. Grinding her teeth, she went to her father's study to retrieve the master key. "Stubborn, headstrong girl," she muttered as she stomped up the stairs. She knocked once more before she fumbled at the lock.

The door swung open, and Lizzy stormed in. "What is the meaning…" her voice trailed off as she stared around the room. "Do not play these childish games!" She looked under the bed, in the closet and behind the curtains. "Lydia!" she shouted, clenching her fists against her thighs.

Mary and Kitty appeared at the doorway. "What is wrong?" Mary asked fearfully.

"I cannot find Lydia," Lizzy exclaimed turning to Kitty. "Have you any idea of where she is?"

"No, but," Kitty quickly crossed the room to the open window, "look at the trellis."

Lizzy motioned Kitty out of the way and leaned out to examine the scuffed paint and broken branches. "Foolish, foolish girl!" she exclaimed, turning back to her sisters. "I saw fresh foot prints below as well. She must have climbed down. When did you see her last?"

Mary's brows knit thoughtfully. "She got upset at breakfast, when we questioned Lt. Wickham's honor."

"She rushed off in a fury," Kitty agreed, glancing back toward the window. Her eyes narrowed, and she scanned the room. "I think…" she walked to the closet and peered in, then checked under the bed and in her trunk. "Her yellow gown is missing. She had laid it out so I could help her mend it, but it is not where she left it."

Mary gasped. "She said some things at breakfast…I wonder…could it be possible that she has been meeting with him?"

Elizabeth scowled and looked out the window again. Awkwardly, she reached out to feel the damage to the trellis. "The marks suggest this has been climbed more than once. I think it quite likely she has played us all for fools!" She blew out a deep breath, pulling away from the window. "I fear she went to town to find the officers. Kitty, have you any idea where she would go?"

"I do not know," Kitty stammered, tears welling. "Perhaps the boarding house where they took rooms?"

"There are at least three in town— which one?" Lizzy demanded.

"The one next door to Uncle Philips's office," she replied meekly.

"How convenient; no wonder…" Lizzy muttered under her breath, shaking her head. She stalked from the room, her sisters following like ducklings. Lizzy paused to gather her spencer and bonnet, then stomped down the stairs. In the foyer, she turned to them and said, "Now is not the time for long explanations, but Lt. Wickham is not a man to be trusted. Mr. Darcy calls him a stoat…"

Mary gulped and Kitty paled. "Surely he exaggerates, Lizzy. He did not seem all that bad." Kitty protested weakly. "His manners were so gentlemanly…"

"I have no reason to distrust Mr. Darcy's statements, and you know Papa thinks highly of him. We have every reason to trust Mr. Darcy far more than Lt. Wickham." She glared at her younger sisters. "I fear Lydia has tried to seek out Lt. Wickham. She must be found before Papa discovers what she has done. Kitty, go to the Lucases and see if she has called there. I will ride into town and try to find her. Mary, if she returns here, keep her here by whatever means needed."

"Oh, Lizzy, do not overreact." Kitty wrung her hands.

Lizzy took a step closer to her sister. "I am not. You do not understand what she risks. Do as I have asked."

Mary and Kitty looked at each other and swallowed hard. "Yes, Lizzy."

"I hope to return soon." Buttoning her spencer, she hurried out.

At the barn, she hissed with frustration remembering that her father and Jane had taken the gig that morning. Toppur whinnied a greeting. While tempted to saddle him, she knew she should not ride into town astride. So she asked the groom to quickly saddle the brown mare.

Soon, the horse was brought out. Lizzy sighed seeing the dreaded sidesaddle firmly cinched to her back. She quickly mounted and took the riding whip from the groom. _What a poor substitute this is for my knee to guide her. _She pressed the tip of the resilient whip to the mare's side and urged her forward with her left knee.

Despite the fact that she pressed the mare to go as fast as she could safely ride, the trip into Meryton felt very long. Lizzy muttered a number of unladylike things under her breath as she fought the awkward posture of the sidesaddle. Finally, the buildings of town came into view. She scanned the streets and listened carefully for any sign of her sister, but found nothing. Her heart raced loudly, making it difficult to hear.

It took far too long for her to finally reach the boarding house. As she approached, she felt her face grow cold, and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. A sudden chill wind blew down the street, whipping leaves and dust from the ground. The mare shied nervously. She pulled the horse to a stop so she could listen again. Closing her eyes, she held her breath and tried to capture the slightest sound.

Muffled noises came from somewhere behind the boarding house. Her brow furrowed as she concentrated on the sounds. _Gah! Papa would be able to tell what that was! _For a moment the sound became just barely louder—the cry of a woman's voice.

Without even thinking, she tapped the whip on Bessie's side and urged the horse into motion. The lane between the boarding house and her uncle's office was almost too narrow for Bessie, making the horse anxious as she surged through the confined area. Finally they cleared the building and entered a larger alley that ran behind the buildings. Lizzy scanned the narrow street and found Lydia, pinned against a brick wall by a tall man.

Standing before her, Mr. Wickham sneered and laughed. "What's the matter, sweet Lyddie?" he asked as he leaned forward to kiss her. "You liked my kisses readily enough the last time you came here."

"Let me go!" Lydia struggled against her captor, managing to kick Wickham hard in the shins.

"Bloody hell! Carter! Can you not hold a little green girl?" Wickham hissed.

Carter slammed her back against the wall, her head thudding against the bricks. Wickham raised his right hand and struck her backhanded across the face. His ring left a ragged cut on her cheek that bled profusely. "You cannot think I would take you to Gretna Green for a wedding before I sampled your wares?" He grabbed the front of her dress and ripped it open, exposing her chemise and stays.

She screamed weakly only to be slammed back again. Her head fell forward, a dark stain on the bricks behind her.

"Let her go!" Lizzie shouted, kicking Bessie into motion.

Mr. Bennet's visit to Netherfield resulted in not one, but two serious talks with the young gentlemen in residence there. Although Darcy would not divulge the precise details of the concerns that prevented him from marrying or publicly declaring himself, he was able to satisfy Bennet's concerns regarding the seriousness of his proposal. Bennet blessed their engagement but insisted that it should be kept quiet until such time as Darcy was free to marry, lest Lizzy be injured by the gossip that such an unusual engagement would engender.

Bingley plucked up his courage and asked for a private audience with Bennet next. Stammering his way through, he asked for permission to court his "angel." With no small amount of teasing, he too received Bennet's blessings, and all went on to enjoy a fresh pot of coffee and biscuits.

Shortly thereafter, Darcy and Bingley excused themselves, for they were engaged for tea at the Philipses'. Jane took the opportunity to visit with Louisa, and Mr. Bennet enjoined Mr. Hurst for another round of chess. And so they passed a pleasant several hours.

Darcy and Bingley enjoyed the fresh breeze of the early afternoon as they rode into town. They paused briefly at the lane leading to Longbourn. "If we stop now," Bingley laughed, "we will certainly be late. I do not wish to be rude when so many important personages will be gathered; I believe Mrs. Philips said she expected the Colonel of the regiment, the mayor and the magistrate for tea. We can stop at Longbourn on the way back."

"I suppose you are right," Darcy sighed, guiding his horse back along the main road. _But I will see her this afternoon. I want to be the one to tell her we have her father's blessing. Oh, that I was free! I would make her my wife as soon as the banns were read. _

Mr. Philips's law office and home stood at the corner of the main street in a prestigious part of town. The windows were thrown open to catch the pleasant breeze, the light curtains fluttering in the wind.

Mr. Philips greeted them while they were still dismounting. "A good day to you both."

"Good day, sir." Bingley bowed. Darcy followed suit.

"May I show you in?" He gestured toward the doors. They followed him inside and upstairs where his wife welcomed them and showed them to the drawing room where Sir William awaited them.

They sat down, and Sir William immediately regaled them with tales of Meryton's history. Darcy sat back and listened, watching as Bingley energetically engaged the mayor. _Here, Bingley is in his element. I know he is little more interested in these stories than I, and yet one looks at him and believes him utterly fascinated. _

Mr. Long, the local magistrate entered. The men rose and bowed while Mr. Philips made the appropriate introductions. Mr. Long took a chair near Mr. Darcy. Sir William continued his tale, but after several minutes, Mr. Long leaned toward Darcy, "He tells those to every visitor he can pin down long enough to hear him." He chuckled under his breath.

Darcy nodded. "He appears quite proud of Meryton."

"That he is, sir. I hear you are from the north— Derbyshire, they say."

"I am." Darcy watched Mr. Long's thin face, wondering where these questions were leading. _Bennet would already have figured him out. _

"You have an estate there?" Long asked, peering over his glasses.

"I do." Darcy shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Judging by the cut of your suit and the make of your boots, it must be a very fine one," Long muttered. "Have you taken on any civic duties, sir?"

Darcy fought the temptation to roll his eyes. "Not yet, sir; I expect in time, I will do so. But my father died only a few years ago, and I wished to have time to first learn the running of my own lands before I applied my hand to running anything else."

Long leaned back and nodded seriously. "Well spoken, sir. I fear few gentlemen take their civic duties seriously enough. They jump into it far too glibly and do not do the office justice." He grasped the lapels of his jacket and tugged at them.

"I understand you are magistrate here," Darcy observed softly, as Sir William's began another tale.

"Indeed I am, sir." Long's chest puffed slightly, and he sat straighter in his chair.

"Where is your estate? I heard it was on the north side of Meryton." Darcy glanced jealously at Bingley who laughed easily with Sir William.

"Lyman is northeast of town, just four miles or so. I am sure you passed by it on your way to Netherfield. The house is stationed in sight of the main road. It is not so grand as Longbourn…"

Darcy's mind wandered briefly before he noticed Mr. Long had stopped speaking. He searched for something to say, lest he appear rude. "Has Mr. Bennet ever served as magistrate?"

Long began to laugh, struggling awkwardly to stifle it. "That is positively cruel, sir!" He paused and stared at Darcy, "You cannot be serious— a man like him? He is unfit…"

"Unfit for exactly what?" Darcy immediately countered, his face coloring.

Long's next comment was interrupted by Col. Forster's arrival. Mr. Philips welcomed him in and rang for tea. For the next half hour, the men enjoyed their tea and refreshments. Following Bingley's lead, Darcy even managed to utter a few compliments.

"Is Mrs. Forster enjoying her time in Meryton?" Mrs. Philips asked as she transferred biscuits onto a plate for the colonel.

"She is indeed, madam. I do not believe she had traveled much before we married, so any new place brings her great delight." Forster took the plate with a gracious dip of his head. "She has met many young ladies in the community, and I believe she counts many of them among her friends. We certainly have received a warm welcome here. I can tell you that is not always the case when we bring the regiment into camp."

"And did she enjoy the assembly?" Mrs. Philips leaned back and smoothed her skirts.

"That she did. She is quite wild for dancing, and has not the opportunity often enough."

"It is a shame that no one has hosted a ball yet," she glanced pointedly at Bingley. "The public assemblies are all well enough, but anyone who can afford a ticket is allowed to attend. If you want truly agreeable company, a private ball…" She stopped suddenly as a frightening shriek sounded from outside the window. "My goodness, what is that?" she gasped.

The men sprang to their feet, a second scream sounding before they could make it to the window. Darcy lagged behind them, his heart cold in his chest. He well knew the voice. _Elizabeth! _


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Lizzy leaned forward into Bessie's charge as best she could, cursing the awkwardness of the sidesaddle under her breath. "Leave my sister alone!" she shouted again.

Carter dropped Lydia, who crumpled on the ground, her head bouncing as it struck a rock. She lay eerily still, blood seeping from the gash on the side of her face. Wickham whirled on Elizabeth. "So the hoyden who is too good for an introduction has now come to speak to me," he scoffed. "But as we have not been properly introduced, I do not believe I can hear a word you say."

"Leave my sister alone!" She pressed Bessie in closer.

Wickham glanced at Carter, and they laughed. "I see only you and that old horse, not exactly a formidable regiment." Carter stepped forward menacingly.

"Have you forgotten that gentlewomen have a reputation to maintain? You cannot speak out against us, lest it damage you and all your sisters." Wickham's lips lifted in a twisted smile as he advanced on her. "I know this game too well, you see. Despite what you think, I can do exactly as I please." He licked his lips. "We shall have a bit of tupping, Carter and me, and you shall never tell."

Lizzy's face burned. She raised her right hand and brought the whip whistling down, catching Wickham across the face. He shouted and dropped to one knee, clutching his cheek. Bessie shied nervously as Carter closed in. Wickham slowly rose. "You are going to regret that for the rest of your life, miserable wench," he snarled and rushed toward her.

Bessie tried to back up, her head whipping from side to side. Lizzy screamed as her balance faltered. She struck with the whip again. Carter cried out and lunged at the horse, causing the mare to panic and rear. Lizzy tried to throw herself forward on to her neck, but shrieked as she lost her seat and tumbled to the ground, striking her head on the cobblestone. Searing pain overtook her, then darkness.

The men pounded down the stairs and out onto the street. Philips waved them into the narrow lane beside his office. They could hear the whinnies and snorts of a distressed horse and the scuffling of men's boots. A moment later, they burst into the alley to see the two Bennet sisters unconscious on the ground as Wickham and Carter struggled with the terrified animal.

Darcy's heart stopped when he recognized Elizabeth's still form on the ground. As much as he wanted to rush to her, he knew he had to get the horse under control, lest the mare hurt either one of the wounded girls further. So he dashed to Bessie while Forster and Long subdued the officers. By the time Darcy had the mare calmed and tied up, Philips and Bingley were carrying the girls to the house. Darcy rushed after them. "What can I do? How can I help?" He fought not to wrestle Elizabeth from her uncle's arms.

"Get the doctor. Get Mr. Bennet," Philips whispered, his face ashen.

Darcy dashed off, pausing only briefly to get directions from the housekeeper. Setting off at a gallop, he made good time to the physician, and sent the man on his way. Then he pushed his tired horse into a trot. He wondered whether Mr. Bennet would be at Longbourn or Netherfield. As he approached the turn for the Bennet estate, he silently prayed for guidance, then turned toward Longbourn and urged his mount even faster. Arriving at the house, he jumped from his horse, and bounded up the stairs two at a time. He pounded at the door, until Hill answered it.

"Mr. Bennet," Darcy panted, "is he here? I must see him. I have not a moment to lose."

Hill ushered him into the foyer. A moment later, Mr. Bennet appeared. "You have come to see me, Darcy? I cannot imagine whatever for. Did you not ask enough of me this morning?" he teased gently.

"Sir," Darcy rushed to him.

Immediately Bennet's smile disappeared, as a cold fear gripped him. "What happened?" He reached out for Darcy's arm.

Darcy caught his hand. "Elizabeth and Lydia, they are hurt, unconscious when I left them. They are at Philips's house. I summoned the doctor, then came straight away for you."

Bennet staggered against Darcy. "What happened?" he gasped, his face losing all color.

"I will explain on the way," Darcy insisted, leading him toward the door.

"No, wait. Jane!"

A moment later, they heard anxious footsteps. "Papa, what is wrong?" Her eyes grew wide at the sight of Darcy's distress. Mary appeared over her shoulder.

"Your sisters are hurt; I must take you to them," Darcy repeated impatiently.

"Where are they?" Jane gasped, clutching at Mary's arm.

"Come with us, Jane," Mr. Bennet said weakly. "Mary, you and Kitty see to things here. We will send word as soon as possible."

The coach was summoned, and the three began the anxious journey back into town. As they traveled, Darcy shared with them all he knew regarding Elizabeth and Lydia. Bennet said very little, only grunting as Darcy spoke. Jane was pale, glancing anxiously between Mr. Bennet and Mr. Darcy as she tentatively related what Mary had told her of Lizzy's whereabouts and their suspicions about Lydia.

When they finally arrived, they recognized the doctor's carriage parked before the Philipses' house. No one met them at the door, nor answered when they knocked, so Darcy led them in. Within Mr. Philip's office, they found Wickham and Carter bound securely to their chairs, Col. Forster and Mr. Long watching them intently. Mr. Long opened his mouth to speak, but Darcy held his hand up and silenced the question.

"First, we must see to Miss Elizabeth and Miss Lydia, then there will be time to deal with them ," Darcy declared. Mr. Bennet nodded firmly.

Wickham began muttering, but Forster silenced him. Darcy guided Bennet upstairs, Jane following hurriedly behind them. "Mr. Bennet and Miss Bennet have arrived!" Darcy called loudly.

At the top of the stairs, the housekeeper met them and took them to Mrs. Philips in the drawing room. She rushed to greet them. "Oh, Brother!" she cried, trying to take his hands.

"Madam," he said coldly, drawing back from her. "You are no friend to me, nor my daughters. You have gone against my express wishes, madam, and look what has come of it."

"But I was only doing it for their good," Mrs. Philips protested tearfully.

"You have a very peculiar idea of what is good," Bennet snapped. "I am their father – I decide what is best for them!"

"But with your limitations…"

"My limitations are of the body, not," his voice turned very cold, "of the mind, madam, as yours appear to be."

Mrs. Philips's mouth dropped open, and she began to fan herself. Heavy footsteps rang in the stairwell, and Bennet turned toward them.

"Dr. Rogers?" Bennet asked.

"Yes, sir, I have good news. Miss Elizabeth is already awake and quite coherent. She has a severe headache, and her stomach is quite unsettled, but I have summoned Mr. Palmer to provide his potions to resolve those issues. I have every reason to believe she will be well soon."

Both Darcy and Bennet sagged in relief. Mrs. Philips wrapped her arm around Jane, who choked back a small sob. "May I go to her?" Jane whispered.

"Indeed you may." Dr. Rodgers nodded, and Jane hurried upstairs.

Bennet held Darcy's elbow hard. "What of Lydia?"

Rogers huffed a deep breath. "Her recovery is not as clear. She has suffered several serious blows to the head. Beyond that, it appears that when the horse panicked, she was stepped on or kicked several times. I fear she has several broken ribs, and her left arm may be broken as well. I have bandaged them for now and will splint the arm properly as the swelling subsides."

"So she has not regained consciousness?" Darcy asked cautiously.

"That is correct, but it is not unusual in cases such as this. The next few days will tell."

Bennet swayed on his feet. Rogers and Darcy rushed him into a chair and called for wine. Bennet accepted a glass with trembling hands, sipping slowly at the deep red liquid. After several minutes, his hands stopped shaking. "Take me to her," he pleaded, turning toward Darcy.

Darcy glanced at Rogers, who nodded, then explained, "I have done all I can for now. I shall return in the evening. I would recommend neither of them be moved for several days at least. Miss Elizabeth must rest if she is to make a full recovery." Rogers bowed and backed away.

With Darcy's help, Bennet climbed the stairs, his steps labored as he clutched the banister for support. They followed the voices and soon found the room that Lizzy and Lydia shared.

"Papa!" Jane cried and rushed to him. She led him to a chair at Lizzy's side.

Darcy watched from the doorway, staring openly at Elizabeth. Her hair and clothes were disheveled, and the left side of her face was bruised and swollen. But her voice was clear and her thoughts coherent as she softly answered her father's questions. Relief washed over him as he listened to her clear responses.

He stepped into the hallway and feelings of remorse flooded over him. How could I have let this happen?_ Bingley was right. I who knew what he was; I should have made that known. What a fool I have been to think that the army could curb a cur like Wickham. A rake like him never changes. But why should he, when he has always gotten away with taking what he wanted at will? _He suddenly felt nauseous. _Will you ever forgive me, Elizabeth? I have failed to protect you, too. _He sagged against the wall, head in his hands.

A quarter of an hour later, Bingley found him, still keeping vigil in the hallway. "Come," he insisted, taking Darcy's arm and leading him to a small parlor. "Philips told me I could wait here." He pressed Darcy to sit, then turned to the small table and poured from a decanter of wine. "Here, you need this."

Darcy said nothing, but drank the dark liquid down in three long sips. Bingley refilled it. This time, he sipped more slowly. Bingley poured himself a glass and sat across from him. He took a sip. "Not exactly your vintage, eh, Darce?" he asked softly.

Darcy sighed wearily. "Just say it, Bingley. It is most well deserved."

"Say what?"

Darcy glared over his wine glass. "I told you so. Is that not what you are thinking?" He threw his head back and exhaled hard.

"No, no such thing." He took a gulp then set his glass aside. "Far from it, if truth be told."

Darcy laid his arm over his eyes. "How exactly can that be? I recall your telling me…"

"It would have made no difference. Mr. Bennet already warned his daughters away from him. No warning from you would have made him do more. He had every expectation that all his daughters would obey him." He leaned forward, elbows perched on his knees.

"But the colonel…"

Bingley rolled his eyes. "What could he have done? Unless Forster had evidence against him, there was no action to be taken against Wickham. Besides, Wickham is so persuasive; I fear even if you had warned Forster, he would have dismissed you the way the professors at Cambridge did." Bingley rose and walked to gaze out the window. "You recall that, I am sure."

"How could I forget?" He leaned forward and pressed his temples. "Meh!"

"You could not have prevented this; no more than you could have…"

Darcy held up his hand, "Do not speak of it." He pushed himself to his feet. "What are we to do now?"

"What indeed?" Mr. Bennet's voice came from the doorway.

"Sir!" Both men jumped and turned toward him. They stared at the transformation that had taken place. The strength and confidence that were his trademark bearing were gone, leaving him broken and weak.

Darcy was at his side, ready to guide him into the room. But as they were about to turn, Philips came up behind him. "If you are ready, Brother, Mr. Long and Col. Forster would like to speak to you downstairs."

"Would you care to join us, gentlemen?" Bennet asked hesitantly. "Since both of you witnessed what occurred, I would appreciate your input."

"Of course," Bingley hurried over.

Philips led the way to his office. Bennet noticed the faint smells of sweat and stale cologne but did not hear Wickham or Carter.

"Where are they? You have not released them, have you?" Darcy demanded, stiffening.

"No," Mr. Long assured.

"I have them in my custody," Forester assured, rising to meet them. "Do not fear; I take their transgressions very seriously."

"Please, sit." Long beckoned them all in. "I have asked you here so that we may discuss the fate of these miscreants."

Mr. Bennet grunted, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "I imagine you are going to further elucidate that fate."

"Indeed, sir. I am aware of the very delicate nature of this situation." Long glanced at Philips.

"We are all aware that my nieces' reputations are at stake," Philips said quietly.

"Now you consider their reputation!" Bennet exclaimed angrily. "Somehow that was of no concern to you when you were attempting to introduce those curs to my daughters after I had expressly forbidden it." He leaned toward Philips. "I am amazed that you should be so attentive to it now."

"This is not the time…" Philips stammered, blushing uneasily.

"Is it not? Tell me exactly when will it be the appropriate time?" He rose halfway in his seat.

Darcy laid a hand on Bennet's shoulder as he cast a warning look Philips's way. Bingley attempted to glare as well.

Philips deflated slightly. "I apologize, Brother. It was high handed and wrong of me to suppose I knew better." Bennet grunted with dissatisfaction. Philips hung his head. "Truly, I am sorry. I feel responsible for what has happened, and I want to help protect them now as best I can."

The room was silent for several breaths. Finally Bennet said, "What do you propose? I want to see them punished for what they have done. But I cannot allow the reputations of my daughters to be put in jeopardy." He turned toward Bingley and Darcy. "I cannot see their futures put at risk, even for those curs to receive their just desserts."

"No man worth his salt would hold this against them," Bingley quickly assured. He tapped his foot rapidly in agitation.

"I am afraid there are many that would," Darcy began, immediately noticing the deep frown on Bennet's face. "The world is vastly unfair to young gentlewomen when, through no fault of their own, they can be branded as fallen. I think it a grievous injustice to the ladies and their families. But it is a reality we must consider."

Bennet's frown faded, and he leaned back in his chair. Philips blinked several times, wondering at the exchange. He scratched behind his ear rapidly, then smoothed his hair back into place. "Mr. Long and Col. Forster have a plan that I think is well suited to satisfy both your desires, Brother."

"Go on," Bennet laced his fingers and wrapped his hands over his knee.

"Typically under these circumstances, charges would be brought against these men and a trial would be held. Given the number of witnesses, clearly they would be found guilty. Assuming Miss Lydia recovers," Long paused and cringed waiting for an outburst, but none came, so he continued, "the penalty would be a substantial fine for the damage they have caused."

"I cannot speak for the other, but I know Wickham has nothing with which to pay a fine," Darcy remarked coldly.

"How exactly would you know that?" Forster demanded.

"I am acquainted with him." Darcy looked out the window, steeling himself before he continued. "He is the son of my father's steward. My father was his godfather, and he put Wickham through school. He attended Cambridge with Bingley and me."

"So you both know him?" Long asked, rubbing his knuckles along his jaw.

"Yes, sir," Bingley answered for them both. "In school, he was quite dissolute, and I do not believe he ever completed his course of study."

"He was fond of gaming, and constantly applied to me for money. I cannot imagine his habits have changed," Darcy finished, aware that Bennet was intently listening.

"I see." Long stuck out his lower jaw and caught his lip in his teeth. "So then, assuming Carter is of the same bent, they would both go to debtor's prison."

Darcy barked a bitter laugh. "Little good that would do. Wickham has a glib nature and would somehow talk himself out faster than you would consider possible."

"Not to mention that a trial would ruin the Miss Bennets in the eyes of society," Bingley added, pursing his lips hard.

"Indeed," Philips agreed. "So clearly this is not an acceptable solution. But Col. Forster has an alternative." He gestured toward the officer.

Forster cleared his throat. "First, allow me to say, Mr. Bennet, how deeply troubled I am that they could have imposed upon your daughters. You have my deepest regrets."

"I thank you, sir, but your regrets are of little use to me now." Bennet turned his face away angrily. "Do not patronize me; I am not an imbecile."

"No one here suggests that," Philips soothed, casting a pointed glance at Long.

"Indeed not, Mr. Bennet.," Forster agreed. "I do not wish to see these men go unpunished. I cannot permit such behavior under my command. The army is often unwelcome in towns such as this, and permitting them to continue in such activities will only worsen our situation. We have received several very cold welcomes recently, and I fear it is only going to get worse. But I do not wish the young ladies to be further injured by their actions. So I have proposed to Mr. Long that Carter and Wickham be remanded to my custody, and I will make it a matter of military discipline: drunken and disorderly conduct, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming an officer, and a few others possibly."

"That still does nothing to protect my girls," Bennet snapped.

"We will say that your girls were visiting their aunt, coming in through the backdoor as a surprise. They came upon the two men fighting; the horse spooked, and the girls were injured. Their uncle heard the commotion and came upon the scene," Forster quickly explained. "The story is close enough to the truth to be believed, and it protects their reputations." He cocked his head, waiting.

Bingley's brows rose as he looked at Darcy. A half smile lifted Darcy's lips. "The approach has merit."

"But what will you do with them? Restrict them to camp? Assign them extra duties? I hardly find that a fitting punishment," Bennet harrumphed.

"Certainly not." Forster looked clearly offended. "I will have them flogged."

"Officers are generally not punished in such a way," Darcy noted warily.

"That is true." Forster nodded. "But I believe there will an exception in this case. I know for a fact that they ran up considerable debt in the last town where we were encamped, not to mention the rumor of several young ladies meddled with. If I knew for certain that these were not isolated incidents, then I would be fully justified in my choice of disciplinary action." He looked pointedly at Darcy. "Since you have some history with Wickham, perhaps you would be able to speak to these issues."

Bingley glanced nervously at Darcy who frowned angrily. "I have purchased over a thousand pounds of debt owed by Wickham to merchants in Derbyshire."

Forster stroked his chin. "That is helpful, it does establish his character. But have you anything more against him?"

Bingley stared at Darcy for a long time. Darcy looked away and focused out the window.

"He has a reputation of being a rake in Derbyshire. I have heard tell of several young women that he has meddled with, including at least one gentlewoman. I believe he was once accused of rape, but it was never brought to trial." Darcy avoided Bingley's eyes.

Bennet's head came up sharply as he cocked his head to listen.

"Can you give me specifics? They would allow me to …" Forster demanded.

"No, I cannot," Darcy replied with firm finality.

"Very well, I suppose, that will have to do. It is not as strong a case as I had hoped for…" he glanced once more at Darcy who glowered in return. "but since neither of them has high connections I see little reason not to proceed."

Darcy grunted in satisfaction.

"However," Mr. Long broke in, "all of this will have to wait upon Miss Lydia's recovery. While we all hope for the best…"

"Understood, sir," Mr. Bennet interrupted, pushing himself up wearily. "If there is nothing else, I will go back to my daughters." He bowed and Philips took his arm.


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you all of the amazing support and comments. I appreciate them so much. I am continuing to work on the edits for Given Good Principles Vol 2: Darcy's helpmate. My hope is to have it published this spring. Come by and visit my website for more details: AuthorMariaGrace(dot)com.

If you purchased a Nook version of Volume 1 and have problems with the file, please contact me on my website. I have discovered a couple of issues with that format and would like to help sort out any problems with it.

Chapter 16

Word circulated quickly around Meryton that two brawling officers seriously injured two of the Bennet sisters. Outrage spread across the community until Sir William himself demanded Forster do something to protect the good citizens of Meryton from the dangers posed by the regiment. Forster assured him that the miscreants would be dealt with by the end of the week, or sooner if Miss Lydia awoke.

Longbourn suffered a steady stream of callers inquiring after the health of the Bennet sisters. Greeting the callers fell to Mary and Kitty, as Mr. Bennet and Jane kept vigil with Lizzy and Lydia at the Philipses. Some of their callers were encouraging, some offered hollow assurances, and still others sat in awkward silence, wondering what to say and how to end their audience sooner than their allotted quarter hour when they found discussion of Lydia's fragile condition too awkward.

Kitty and Mary put on brave faces for their company, but at night, tears flowed steadily and the sisters clung to each other for support. They eagerly anticipated Jane's daily visits updating them on their sisters' conditions, and regretted that the doctor had not forbidden them to visit. It would not do to excite them with company, Dr. Rogers warned. While that advice might benefit Lizzy and Lydia, it tormented Kitty and Mary.

Finally, near the end of the week, Lydia regained consciousness. After two more days, the doctor confidently declared she would live. Though the news brought great rejoicing to the Bennets and their friends, Darcy could not help but harbor mixed feelings as he rode out to bring the news to Forster.

"Miss Lydia Bennet has awoken," he said before the colonel's batman could introduce him.

Forster's head jerked up from the letter he was writing. "She is well?" He waved his man out of the tent.

"By no means. The doctor reports she suffers with dizziness and double vision that could be permanent. The extent of her impairment remains to be seen." Darcy clasped his hands behind his back, gripping them tightly.

Forster pushed his chair back and stood. "But I do not need to turn Wickham and Carter over to the magistrate to be hanged." He grumbled and shook his head, wrinkling his lips into a frown. "It seems the whole of Meryton has turned against us because of this ugly business. I promised Sir William that I would take action quickly before the situation becomes any worse." He pushed himself up from his seat. "Wickham has denied the charges you brought."

"I expected as much." He reached into his coat and withdrew a crisply folded paper. "I had my solicitor in London prepare a copy of the debts I hold against him and a list of the merchants I paid off."

Forester took the page and scanned it. "Excellent. This clearly establishes his character; although I still would rather have more specifics on his conduct…"

"I do not have that to give you, sir." Darcy glowered.

"Very well, I will go on with what you have given me. Would you care to join me as I inform him of his fate?"

With a sharp nod, Darcy followed him out of the tent. "With the climate in town so hostile now, I want the magistrate and the mayor to witness their punishment. I need their testimony to satisfy the community and turn the tide of public opinion."

"Further problems have arisen?" Darcy scanned the camp for the prisoner's tent.

"Every day." Forster nodded to several men who saluted as he walked past. "It is difficult to run a regiment when the entire neighborhood is predisposed to see us as blackguards." He paused at the top of the rise and glanced over the regiment. "Discipline is suffering. My officers cannot be permitted to behave in this manner. I must make an example out of those two." Forster looked to the tent guard, who quickly stepped aside with a crisp salute.

They ducked inside and stood blinking a moment while their eyes adjusted to the dim light. Darcy wrinkled his nose at the scent of unwashed men and a latrine bucket. "Do you wish to know your fate?"

Wickham lifted his head, his left eye blackened and his cheek striped from Elizabeth's whip. He blinked, squinting slightly in the narrow sunbeam that followed Darcy in.

Darcy's guts twisted excruciatingly. _My dearest Elizabeth, would that my sister had your courage. He shall pay for what he has done to you both. _His eyes narrowed as he glared.

"You would like to see me hang," Wickham snorted.

"I would, but it seems my wishes are to be denied yet again." He dug his toes into the soil and loosened a rock.

"The girl lives?" Wickham's eyes brightened as his head came up sharply.

"For the Bennets' sake, I am pleased to say she will live." Darcy clasped his hands behind his back and dipped his head slightly.

The prisoners gasped raggedly. Carter's head dropped to his chest, his shoulders heaved. Darcy thought he heard a muffled sob.

"So now, Colonel, you may let us out of this accursed tent..." Wickham struggled to his feet and tossed his hair back.

"Not so quickly, Wickham," Forster snarled, grabbing Wickham's shoulder. "Since you will not be seeing the hangman for a taste of justice, you shall deal with me."

Wickham laughed hoarsely. "Go on then; I will take my extra duty and loss of pay." He extended his bound hands. "Just set me free, and we can have an end to this unpleasant business for all of us."

Forster pulled his knife from his belt, but Darcy stayed his hand. "You will only have to bind him again before you flog him."

"What are you talking about? Enough of this charade – let me go." A hint of anxiety edged into Wickham's voice.

"What charade?" Forster slipped his knife back into its sheath.

Wickham's eyes bulged.

"But officers are not flogged!" Carter cried, clambering to his feet. He stumbled and lunged for Wickham who flinched away.

"It seems that exceptions to that rule can be made." Darcy caught Carter's shoulder, steadying him.

"Ignore him, Carter; he knows how to talk a good game, but I know how it will be," Wickham scoffed, brushing his oily hair back with his bound hands.

Darcy took a step closer, his face so near he could smell Wickham's fetid breath. "How exactly do you think it will be?"

"You will have them parade me in chains before the merchants as you buy up my debt. Then we will be done with this. There will be no flogging; it is just a ruse." He cackled, throwing his head back. "I had not thought you so petty, though."

"I am not going to buy your debt."

Wickham's face froze for a moment, scorn melting into fear. "What did you say?"

"You heard. This is not about your debt. This is about the Bennet sisters' injuries." His fist pounded loudly into his palm. "The debt I hold against you merely confirms your character to Col. Forster."

Wickham gulped and shuddered. "Those two strumpets? I did nothing to them that they did not invite."

Veins stood out on Darcy's neck as he ground his teeth.

"You cannot punish us for that, or their reputations will suffer." Bravado returning, Wickham's lips twisted in a tight-lipped grin. "Besides how will it look to your dearest Georgiana when you do for them what…"

Darcy lunged at him, fist flying. They fell together into the dirt, grunting and rolling. "Do not ever speak her name again, or I shall kill you with my bare hands."

Forster cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest. "That is sufficient, Darcy. Leave them to me."

Darcy snarled and dropped Wickham with a thud. He heaved himself to his feel and straightened his coat. "Forgive me, Colonel."

Wickham sputtered and struggled to wipe his bloody mouth on his sleeve. "You cannot be serious. Officers are not flogged!"

"Exceptions can be made," Forster said. "You have turned the whole of the town against us and disrupted discipline in all the ranks. I will make an example of you both."

"You are barking mad! You have made your point. Now release me, and I will be—" Wickham pushed up to his knees.

"No," Forster frowned. "I will have discipline among my officers."

"You cannot do this…" Wickham stood, wavering drunkenly.

"Have you connections that might object?" Forster demanded.

"I, for one, certainly do not," Darcy stared coldly into Wickham's eyes.

"Will anyone speak for you, Carter?" Forster tapped his foot rapidly.

Carter grunted and shook his head.

"Prepare yourselves." Forster nodded sharply, turned on his heel and left the tent with Darcy close behind. He spoke briefly with the guard, and then turned to Darcy. "Would you take word to Mr. Bennet that the sentence will be carried out at four o'clock this afternoon. He may come to witness if he chooses."

"I will." Darcy bowed and left.

Later that afternoon, Mr. Bennet rode with Darcy back to the encampment. "The colonel has instructed his men to permit us into the camp. There will be a short walk to the drilling green. I surveyed it earlier and found a well-worn path there that is a comfortable walk." Darcy looked out the side glass, not really seeing anything.

"You are very considerate," Bennet said. "I would ask you why, but I do not think you would answer me." He leaned his head back and exhaled hard, grunting as the coach hit a deep rut. "I have been a fool. I deceived myself into believing that I could actually protect them. I am glad they will soon have truly capable men—"

"Enough!" Darcy struck the side wall with his fist.

Bennet jumped.

"Stop wallowing in self-pity; it does not become you." He turned to face Bennet, scowling.

Bennet's jaw hardened, and he leaned forward, one hand pressing on the dark leather seat for balance. "You are a fine one to offer such a rebuke, sir. What would you know of helplessness…"

"Far more than you would imagine. I will not tolerate your bemoaning your fate." Darcy's face crimsoned. "If you will insist on discounting your blessings, I swear to you I will stop this coach and put you out on the side of the road myself."

Bennet sat back, jaw dropping.

"Do you not understand what you have? Your daughters, the eldest two especially, adore you and would…and have… done and given up everything for you. They are women worthy of the greatest esteem. How many men have that much regard from their offspring? I can tell you in my circles, I have never seen such a thing!"

"It seems that Providence has been painfully unfair in saddling them with—"

"Stop it!" Darcy slammed the seat beside him hard; Bennet flinched. "I can only imagine your esteemed Mrs. Bennet did not accept such conversation, and neither shall I. Despite the fact that you are blind and disposed to complacency and self-pity, you have managed to rise above all those things. You see more clearly than any other man I know. There are few I respect, sir, and until a moment ago, you were one of that few." Darcy paused to catch his breath.

Bennet cocked his head toward Darcy and leaned as if staring. Brows furrowed, he chewed his lip. "There is a great deal about yourself that you have not told me, Darcy, and it is time for that to change. You are right to call me out for my self-pity and demand better of me. I would expect no less of a son ." The word hung heavily in the air. "But if you expect to become that, then you will explain to me what triggered this most uncharacteristic outburst."

Darcy sagged and looked at his boots, noticing Bennet's scuffed toes. _Every step he takes is an act of courage I will never understand. _He ran his fingers roughly through his hair, sighing. "If something like this could have happened to your daughters, then perhaps I am not as hopeless as I believed. To hear you disparage yourself—"

"—stole away your comfort." Bennet laced his fingers together, hands tense in his lap. "From what do you seek solace?"

Darcy turned away, staring out the window again. He crossed his legs awkwardly in the small space and pulled his arms in tight. A thick silence filled the coach marred only by the spring's groaning over the rough road.

Finally Bennet spoke very softly, "Someone you are responsible for was hurt, and you blame yourself."

Darcy grunted something unintelligible, leaning further away.

"Your sister."

Darcy growled low in his throat.

"It was an officer…it was Wickham." He leaned back, steepling his fingers and tapping them lightly.

Darcy exploded, whirling on him. "Bloody hell! Why are you always intruding upon my business?"

"You could not protect her any more than I could my Lydia. She made a foolish, youthful decision, and her life will forever be marked by it."

Darcy grumbled but it finished as more of a sigh. "You are infuriating—"

"She knew better and yet chose to disobey you. You feel guilty." He reached across to lay a reassuring hand on Darcy's knee.

"How do you know?" Darcy whispered, his throat unbearably tight.

"I have five daughters; I know the sound of a father's grief."

"What happened to Miss Lydia and Elizabeth is my fault. I knew what Wickham was… I should have spoken." Darcy dropped his face into his hands, breathing raggedly.

"You were guarding your sister's reputation. I assume this is the family business that keeps you from marrying?"

"A large part of it." He tried to swallow back the knot in his throat, rocking with the carriage. "Do you wish me to end my understanding with Elizabeth?" His voice was barely a whisper.

Bennet leaned back against the soft upholstery and covered his scarred eyes with his hand. "I suppose I should be angry with you and accuse you of endangering my daughters and all the women of Meryton since you did not expose that man's history. No one in Meryton would deny me my righteous indignation."

Darcy screwed his eyes shut against the tightness in his gut that forced bile into his throat.

"But I cannot bring myself to throw the first stone." Bennet laughed bitterly.

Darcy slowly lifted his head and peered at him. "The first stone?"

"You are not the only man to have a sister ruined by an officer. Neither she nor the child survived. I do not speak of it because I do not want my family's reputation tainted by association. I am well aware of how precarious my daughters' positions are. One wayward relative could be their undoing. My wife told Jane and Elizabeth when they were old enough not to repeat it. But I have not warned the younger girls." He scrubbed his face with his hands and pitched forward. "I cannot condemn you for exactly what I have done myself."

Darcy stared, barely breathing. "No man outside my family knows of my sister, and no man in my family understands the guilt that gnaws at me."

"Until now it has been the same for me." Bennet extended his hand.

Darcy grasped it tightly and wrapped his other hand around. "I am honored to be considered part of your family."

Bennet started to reply, but the carriage lurched to a stop. The driver opened the door. "The Colonel has a man waiting for you, sir."

Darcy grunted as he slid across the seat and climbed down. "We are in a clearing near the green where the regiment drills," he said softly, handing Bennet out of the carriage. After giving brief instructions to his driver, he turned to Forster's man.

"There is a place prepared for Mr. Bennet." He pointed to a wooden stool under a tree. "You may take him there."

Darcy dismissed the batman with a sharp nod. "Shall we?" he asked, placing Bennet's hand on his elbow.

"That is why we are here."

"Indeed." Darcy narrated every step of the slow walk, struggling to ignore the looks directed at them. Soldiers were gathering by the time they reached the far side of the green. "Forster and his officers are parading the prisoners in from the far end of the green."

Bennet reached for the stool and sat, mopping his brow with a handkerchief. "Forster was thoughtful to put us out of the afternoon sun." From somewhere in the distance, a drummer beat out a somber cadence.

Darcy stationed himself beside Bennet, his arm brushing Bennet's shoulder. "How much of the proceedings do you wish to see? "

"I do not need to see the gore." He tucked his handkerchief into his waistcoat. "Hearing it will be sufficient."

Darcy sighed softly.

"You are welcome."

"Sir William and Mr. Long are coming to join us."

"I suppose it is just as well they are here. They will spread the word of what happened as efficiently as any woman." Bennet snickered.

The mayor and magistrate arrived, and after exchanging greetings, positioned themselves beside Darcy and Bennet.

"Forster is bringing them here for the sentence to be read." Darcy stiffened as they approached.

"Mr. Bennet," Forster looked from him to the prisoners, "have you anything to say before I read the sentence?"

"No, sir, I do not."

Bennet's face flushed and he tensed, breathing heavily. Darcy placed a hand heavily on his shoulder.

"Enough of this, Darcy, please!" Wickham struggled against the bonds on his wrists. "I will never ask anything…" his words trailed off as he saw the look on Darcy's face.

"Major White, call the men to order," Forster said, and waited for silence on the grounds. In a loud voice, he read the case against Wickham and Carter and pronounced judgment against them, one hundred lashes each.

"Darcy, no! You cannot…your father would not…stop this!" Wickham struggled to capture Darcy's attention as they dragged him away.

"Damned coward," Forster muttered under his breath. "Not a soldier here will follow him after this."

"Better to see his cowardice now than on the battlefield." Darcy watched as Wickham was bound to a whipping post.

"True enough." Forester cleared his throat and signaled for Harper to administer the sentence.

Darcy spoke softly in Bennet's ear as the first stroke fell. "Harper is lashing both of them side by side. The first blow is to Wickham, then to Carter. The man clearly knows his business. I do not imagine they will continue to bear up silently for much longer."

Bennet took a deep breath and gritted his teeth at the sounds of the whip and then the men's curses, then screams. "I take no pleasure in this."

"I thought I would." Darcy grimaced as he watched another blow fall. "He was much indulged as a child, and I fear this is the first time he has ever faced the consequences of his actions."

"It is a tragic thing to teach a grown man the lessons of a child."

Somehow amidst the sound of the lashes and the shrieks, Darcy kept count. "They have begun to bleed, and it is not half over." Finally he looked away, nausea rising as the bloody wounds increased in number and severity. Lost in their own thoughts, they remained until Captain Harper stood down and the beaten men were half-carried, half-dragged away.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Sir William and Mr. Long spoke with Mr. Bennet for several minutes, then walked away, quietly discussing their satisfaction with Colonel Forster.

"The thing is done." Darcy's eyes followed as Wickham and Carter disappeared into a tent. More screams followed in their wake. "I have heard that army surgeons are not gentle. They will be lucky if he can keep infection at bay."

"Indeed," Bennet muttered, his lips curling in disgust.

"There he is, sir!" an unfamiliar voice exclaimed.

Darcy turned sharply to see Forster's batman approaching with another officer on his heels. "Richard?"

The tall redcoat jogged toward him. "I have been all over town trying to find you! What are you doing here?"

More shrieks pierced the green.

Darcy nodded toward the doctor's tent. "Witnessing justice." His lip furled at another outcry.

"Wickham?" Richard whispered, his jaw dropped.

Darcy closed his eyes as he nodded. When he opened them, he noticed Richard gaping at his companion. "Mr. Bennet, may I present my cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam."

Bennet turned and extended his hand warily toward the unfamiliar voice. " Colonel you say?"

Richard did a quick double take, then extended his hand. "In his majesty's service. A pleasure to meet you, sir." He shot Darcy a questioning look.

"Mr. Bennet is the master of Longbourn estate, just outside of town. He…ah…shares our interest in seeing Wickham experience justice."

Richard's brows rose sharply as he stared pointedly at Mr. Bennet.

"You are not stationed here with Colonel Forster." Bennet cocked his head, exposing his scarred face fully. "May I ask what brings you here, particularly at such an auspicious time? Some family emergency, I imagine?"

Richard gaped, anger rising in his eyes. "You are quite forward, sir!"

Darcy waved him down, laughing. "You will become accustomed to him, Richard. There are no secrets with Mr. Bennet." He placed Bennet's hand on his elbow. "I imagine he is correct though?"

Richard nodded sharply, questions written across his face.

"Let us walk to my coach and you can tell me of it." He saw his cousin's hesitation. "You may speak freely in front of him."

"I assure you I am harmless as the father of five daughters can be." Bennet chuckled as he allowed Darcy to lead him away. Darcy could feel the tension in his shoulders and noticed the set in his jaw.

"Five daughters?" Richard stared warily at him.

"You have nothing to fear, sir. I will tolerate your presence among them since your cousin is speaking for you." Bennet's smile was forced.

Darcy guffawed as Richard sputtered loudly. "Enough levity, what brings you here, cousin?"

"It is father," Fitzwilliam said flatly.

Darcy stopped and turned to stare. "What is wrong?" All amusement fell from his voice.

"He has suffered another apoplexy, a very severe one this time." Richard bit his upper lip and shook his head. "The doctors have held out very little hope for his recovery."

"Oh no." Darcy drew a deep breath. "I thought his health had improved significantly since his time at Bath."

"You have my deepest condolences," Bennet added.

"We need Andrew at home, immediately."

"Do you know where he is?" Darcy began walking toward the coach again, his steps more purposeful than before. Bennet matched his stride.

"Not precisely. We have an address on the continent, but I do not know that he is still there, or if he decided to travel with his friends to the coast."

"I will go and find him," Darcy declared grimly.

"I know it is nearly harvest time, and you are needed at Pemberly—"

"That is what a good steward is for," Darcy insisted. "How is your mother?"

"As well as can be expected. She has been through this before and that experience has helped her. I have been granted leave to attend her—"

Bennet turned as if to stare at Darcy.

"Peers of the realm are often granted such favors. My uncle is the Earl of Matlock," he explained quickly.

Bennet turned away to hide his surprise.

"She will certainly need your help. It is more than his secretary can be expected to manage." Darcy handed Bennet up into the carriage. "If you will excuse me for a moment with my cousin."

"Of course, do not hurry on my account." Bennet settled back into his seat, glad that the open door was releasing the stuffy air. "He is the nephew of an earl," he whispered to himself. "Such connections." He slowly released a deep breath.

Darcy turned back to Richard, who paced anxiously beside the coach.

"How soon can you return to London with me? Mother wishes to see you before we take word to our aunt. She and Anne must know what is happening before we go after Andrew." He stopped in front of his cousin.

"Have you written Georgiana?" Darcy rubbed hard at the stubble on his chin.

"Not yet, I thought it best to let you do that. The last time I wrote her, she took offense at my military directness." He chuckled darkly. "Andrew has had enough time to mourn now; they must marry as soon as can be arranged, before the eyes of the ton focus on either of them. If we can get him back before Father—"

"Yes, that would be best. When I speak to Aunt Catherine, I will suggest that she begin making arrangements for a simple wedding there. I know Georgiana has no desire for an elaborate affair, and after the pageant of his first wedding, I think Andrew would be happy to escape another such event. " Darcy's mind raced. "I have to take my leave of the neighborhood, but I should be able to depart tomorrow afternoon."

"Take your leave? Of whom?" Richard demanded, tentatively looking at the carriage.

"I am staying with Bingley; I must inform him." He looked up into the sky, the first oranges of sunset fiery against the clouds. "I must also take my leave from the Bennets."

"The Bennets?" Richard stared at the coach, then at Darcy. "No, do not tell me you have become entangled with some country maiden."

Darcy's voice turned cold, his eyes flashing angrily, "I will not discuss this now." He turned to enter the coach.

Richard grabbed his shoulder and pulled him around. "Have you forgotten that you are engaged?" he hissed.

"I am not. Stop perpetuating that rumor."

"That is not what Anne and her mother believe."

"They are sorely mistaken." Darcy pulled his shoulder from Richard's hand.

"Think about what you are saying. Surely no country miss can bring what the union of Pemberley and —"

"I told you, I will not discuss this further. I will meet you at Netherfield Park directly." He climbed into the coach and shouted orders to his driver as he slammed the door loudly.

Richard stood glaring as he watched the coach roll away.

The atmosphere within the coach was cold and silent for the first half mile. Finally Bennet huffed and turned toward Darcy. "I will have an explanation now, sir. I was given to understand you were engaged to my daughter; now I find out there is another woman who believes she will be your wife? I can only imagine this is the other part of the family business that keeps you from marrying."

Darcy grumbled and rubbed his temples. "It is." He scrubbed his face with his palms. "I have never asked Anne for her hand."

"Who is she?" Bennet demanded coldly.

"My cousin, heiress to her father's estate. Our parents thought joining our fortunes would make a spectacular match. So it has been long decided within the family that we should marry."

"And?"

"It was an easy solution. I have never favored it, but neither have I fought it. The last time I visited them, Anne declared to me that she would live nowhere but her ancestral home. I will not leave Pemberley for another estate. I made that quite clear to her, and I believed that had settled the matter" He shifted uncomfortably. "Apparently, I was wrong."

"Apparently."

"I was planning to confront her and her mother on the matter before announcing my engagement to your daughter. I did not want to see Elizabeth hurt by my aunt. I knew we would have to wait until her fury died down, lest she poison the ton against Elizabeth."

Bennet set his jaw and frowned deeply. He tapped his foot rapidly against the floorboards.

"I do not blame you for being angry." Darcy exhaled heavily and raked his hair back.

"I am beyond angry." Bennet balled his fists tightly. "Why did you offer for her when—"

"Because I am an idiot!" He threw his head back. "Because I saw her on the back of that stallion and was enchanted. Because she fell into my arms, and I knew I could not bear to let her go. Because I finally found a woman I could admire as something more than a decoration on my arm, and I could not take the chance that another man," he gulped, "one that would not appreciate her true worth, might steal her away." He breathed heavily, shaking.

Bennet ground his teeth. "Any other answer and I swear you would have discovered just how much trouble a blind man can cause." He turned his face away for a moment and huffed. "But that," his voice broke, "that I cannot dismiss. That is the answer of a man who is worthy of her," he finished in a whisper.

Darcy began breathing again. "I was trying to protect her. I will protect her."

"By not telling her you were engaged to another?"

"I am not engaged to anyone, nor have I ever been."

"It appears that is debatable."

"I must go to see my aunt before I leave for the continent. I will make certain that both she and my cousin are clear on my intentions before I leave. You have my word. I will return to Hertfordshire as soon as my family and my estate allow, with a proper settlement in hand. I will properly court your daughter, openly and without reservation. With your permission, we will have a short engagement and marry as soon as the banns are read. I give you my word."

"I do not know what your word is worth at this point, sir. I find that I may not know you as well as I had thought."

Darcy winced.

"I expect you to come and take your leave from my daughter, and tell her as much as you can without implying you are engaged to another. You will write to me regularly while you are gone, knowing my daughters will be reading the letters to me. You will keep me informed of the business in your family. Know this: you will not be welcome in Longbourn, or frankly in Meryton, unless it is to openly court my daughter. Otherwise, you shall tell me your aunt is planning your cousin's wedding, and I will know what that means. I will break it to Elizabeth, and you shall never, never contact her in any way again. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir, you are." Darcy looked out the window for a moment. Finally he chuckled. "I suppose I should be very glad that you are blind right now."

"Why would that be?"

"Because it means you would be a lousy shot, and I do not have to fear you will call me out to a duel."

Bennet glowered, but it melted into a laugh. "I suppose you are correct. You are a fortunate man."

"I am sorry for the trouble I have visited upon your family."

"Make my daughter happy, and it will all be forgiven."

"I will—"

"But if you hurt her, mark my words, Mr. Darcy, I shall haunt you for the rest of your days."

Later that evening, Richard and Darcy paced the garden, glad for the full moon to light the path.

"I do not understand why you have dragged us out here when there is a perfectly serviceable room boasting a warm fire and a bottle of port!" Richard grumbled testily.

"Because it is also haunted by a woman with a taste for gossip and no compunctions about listening at doors!" Darcy hissed crossly.

"That is what you get for associating with—"

"Do not go there, Richard! You know very well there are many among our own circles who will stoop to the same things for a bite of juicy gossip. Her problem is not so much bad breeding as it is bad manners, something quite easily found in people of any class."

"We are not out here to discuss the Bingley woman, are we?"

Darcy waved him further away from the window toward a pair of benches. "No, we are not. Sit."

Richard brushed leaves off the stone bench and sat. "Now tell me, what is going on here?"

"I am engaged to Mr. Bennet's second daughter, Elizabeth."

"Have you taken leave of your senses? What has she done to entrap you, man? Surely you can use that fortune of yours to some good and buy your way free." Richard threw his arms up.

"She has not entrapped me, and I have no desire to be free."

"What does she have? Surely her dowry cannot be enough to replace even what Georgiana will take with her when she marries Andrew. Her fortune can be nothing to Anne's!"

"No, it is not." He put his foot up on the bench and leaned his elbow on his knee. "But I have little need to marry a fortune."

"How can you consider passing up the chance…"

"If you are so taken with Rosings and her fortune, then why do you not marry Anne yourself?"

"I do not have your fortune to recommend me, or have you forgotten I am the second son?" He muttered something under his breath, then added more softly, "Besides, you have always been far more comfortable with her."

Darcy snorted and rolled his eyes. "So you do not wish to marry her fortune because you are uncomfortable with her, but I should marry her while I love another?"

"Love? Do not tell me you have fallen for that sentimental dung! You know a marriage based on such things is destined to fail. Love does not last—it is a fleeting, fickle thing. I thought you more steady than that."

"You do not know her. She is—"

"The daughter of a blind man. I understand her mother to be dead as well. That indeed speaks well of her," he scoffed. "According to Miss Bingley, she is a hoyden who shuns the proper role of a woman for the tasks of a man."

_What would he think if he saw her on that stallion's back? _"She is strong and wise—"

"And passionate?"

Darcy exploded and lunged at Richard, grabbing him by the collar. "You will never make such a suggestion about her again, do you understand me? You are speaking of my future wife."

Wide-eyed, Richard stepped back, pushing him off. "Get a grip on yourself, man. I never thought I would see the day that you would be like this over a woman."

"I have never met a woman like her before."

Richard lowered himself back on his bench. "She must be a rare gem. If her feelings and her loyalty are as strong as yours, you are indeed a blessed man."

Darcy tugged at his coat and brushed his pants as he sat back down. "She came upon Wickham imposing himself upon her sister and fought him with a riding whip from the back of her mare."

"My God, man! This is what attracts you in a woman now? Georgiana's … experience… was horrendous, I know, but have you not taken it too far?" He tangled his fingers in his hair.

"I would have given anything for Georgiana to have been so strong in the face of his advances. It might not have ladylike, but it would have been a small price to pay for her virtue. She is but seventeen now, and mothering not one, but two, infants. I do not think I am misplaced in my admiration for my lady's courage that rises on any attempt to intimidate her."

Richard rose and moved to sit beside Darcy. "You are right. I am sorry. I have been insensitive. It is far too easy for me to forget what you have been through. Even though I am her guardian too, it is you who has borne the brunt of this whole sorry affair." He clapped Darcy's shoulder. They sat in companionable silence for several minutes.

"I have shocked you with my impulsiveness, I know. But you must trust me," Darcy whispered, not looking at his cousin.

"I do, with my life, I do. I wish I had time to come to know your lady and her most unique family. But my father does not have long for this world, I fear. It is best for us all to get Andrew back here and safely married to Georgiana as soon as possible. I do not want him to get distracted from his duty to her and his heir when the predators of the ton start throwing themselves at his feet."

"He would not!" Darcy growled, slapping his hands on the stone bench.

"My brother has not always felt his duty as he should. I do not want to give him the opportunity to face temptation and fall. You know how the women of the ton can be when there is a prize such as he to be won."

"That is not what I needed to hear." He gripped his hands tightly together.

"Perhaps it is. You know Aunt Catherine will accuse you of neglecting your duty to Anne."

"Anne is heir to Rosings and has her virtue; there is no comparison."

"But if you do not marry her—"

"You do not think there are scores of worthless peers who would take her? She would even have a title then."

"But not Pemberley." Richard drew a lung full of the cool night air. "You know as well as I, her refusal to live anywhere else but Rosings will limit the men who will consider her even further than is already the case."

"I will not marry to satisfy my aunt's pride or my cousin's stubbornness. The time I have spent with Mr. Bennet has convinced me that her demands are those of a spoiled child. I do not need that in a wife." He squeezed his temples. "No, Anne does not need me the way Georgiana needs Andrew."

"I cannot argue with you." Richard leaned back on his hands and stared into the sky. "Can we really be so near an end to Georgiana's trial?''

"I will not breath easily until the vicar pronounces them man and wife."

"And then? Do you think Wickham—"

"Did you see what was dragged away when the flogging ceased? If he does not succumb to the incompetence of the army surgeon or to infection, and survives his tour of duty, he knows I will not open my purse to him again. That and a bit of muslin is all he has ever wanted. I cannot see him approaching me again. Once my sister is married to the new Earl of Matlock, he will not be able to besmirch her reputation. No one will believe his tales, even if he were to try to tell them." He chuckled grimly. "Besides, if he ever tried such a thing, Andrew would make sure he was found floating in the Thames soon afterwards."

Richard clucked his tongue. "No doubt. He does not have your forbearance."

"I believe that we will be safe from him." He raked his hair back from his face.

"You will forgive me if I wish to see for myself. My general sent orders for Forster with me, and I must deliver them in the morning. I will pay the camp a visit while you are taking your leave from the Bennets."

"I will have my man make everything ready to leave by midday. We will be dining with your mother tomorrow night."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Surtur reflected his rider's agitation as he trotted down the road toward Longbourn. The gathering clouds glowed in brilliant pinks and oranges as the sun peeked over the horizon. Darcy grumbled under his breath, knowing the price of the morning's beauty would be paid in afternoon storms. _Just the thing to make this trip even more dismal—as if there were not enough already! _

"We need to get an early start today, Darce. Hopefully, those rains will hold off for a while. With all the recent downpours, it will not take much for the roads to become a proper mess." Richard scanned the sky. "I can hurry my business with Forster. Is there any possibility you will be able to leave before midday?"

"I will do my best," Darcy grumbled. "But I insist you allow me to properly introduce you to Mr. Bennet and Miss Elizabeth."

"I do regret not having time to spend with him. He seems a most singular gentleman."

"You have no idea." He laughed softly, patting Surtur's neck.

"Is it true what Bingley said, that he employs no steward, preferring that he and his daughters run the estate themselves?" Richard asked, ducking a low hanging branch.

"Not just run it, but run it well. As I understand, they have dramatically increased its revenue over the last five years, if, of course, the local gossip is to be believed."

"So tell me, do you discuss seed drills and livestock while you dance?" A small grin lifted the corner of his mouth.

"When was the last time you had an intelligent conversation with a woman?"

"A better question would be when was the last time I wanted one?" Richard threw back his head and laughed. "You are as singular as your Mr. Bennet."

"Thank you, I consider that a compliment. Truly, you must take the time to get to know him. He bested me in chess, you know."

"No, now I know you are overstating his achievement." He kicked his horse into a momentary trot.

"He is an excellent player and an impressive judge of character. Be warned, though, he has prejudice against that coat you wear," Darcy called out as Surtur caught up.

Richard dismissed the idea with a wave. "It is to be expected; he would naturally be jealous of able-bodied men."

"That is not the case here. He has lost much at the hands of officers. Tread lightly with him."

"Meh. You would have to find a man with a legitimate grudge against my kind. Perhaps it would be best if I part company with you now."

Darcy urged the stallion close. "No. I told you he is a good judge of character. He will appreciate you as I do if you give him the opportunity."

"I am sorry it will be such an abbreviated opportunity." Richard sighed, hanging his head briefly. "I know I am asking a great deal of you. I hope you know I do not request this lightly."

"I know. But I do not have to be happy about it." He shrugged with a weary smile.

They arrived at Longbourn's front door and dismounted. Straightening their coats, they quickly climbed the stairs. Mrs. Hill greeted them and ushered them into Mr. Bennet's study, but did not announce them. Richard looked critically at the housekeeper as she retreated, then turned his gaze to Mr. Bennet. As if taking the cue, Bennet turned his face to allow Richard's silent inspection.

"I trust you have had enough time to study my injuries. And, yes, they were the result of a misfired gun." Bennet rose from behind his desk. "I am sure you have not seen many who have survived such an accident."

"I…I…excuse me," Richard stammered, turning to Darcy, wide-eyed.

Darcy turned away and coughed into his hand.

Bennet shifted to face Darcy. "I expected you would be here early this morning, but I did not anticipate that you would bring your guest with you."

"Please forgive such an early intrusion." Darcy dipped his head. "We must leave for London today, and I wanted to make certain to properly take my leave from you and your family."

Bennet nodded somberly.

"I also hoped to more properly present my cousin. Despite his apparent lack of manners and polish, he is like a brother to me. With your permission, I would like to introduce him to Miss Elizabeth, as well, before we leave."

Bennet walked slowly to where the two gentlemen stood. Crossing his arms tightly, he faced Richard. "I generally do not permit my daughters to be introduced to those who wear your uniform. My recent experience only makes me more steadfast in that opinion. Why should I permit an introduction between you and my daughter?"

"I can vouch for his character, sir." Darcy snorted as he watched his cousin's face bloom with indignation.

"I am not accustomed to having my character questioned." A crimson flush rose up his neck, accentuated by the warm glow of the fire. "What right do you have—"

"I am the father of five daughters; what more right do I need?" Bennet squared his shoulders rigidly.

Richard stared down at Bennet, then glanced at Darcy, who mouthed _Georgiana _and raised his brows. With a sigh, Richard backed down. "You are quite correct, sir. If I had five daughters, I do not know that I would want them making the acquaintance of many of the officers I have known."

A small smile lifted the corner of Bennet's mouth. "I much prefer that attitude; perhaps you are redeemable after all."

Darcy choked back another snort.

Richard looked between them, astonished. Finally he threw up his hands. "Is your lady anything like her father?"

"Very much," Darcy and Bennet said in unison.

Richard began to laugh, shaking his head. "Then I shall consider an introduction to be a great privilege." He bowed to Bennet. "She must be an accomplished lady indeed."

"You may introduce him to my daughter now. Come." Bennet walked past them and waved them to follow.

They followed him to the morning room where Elizabeth sat, a pot of tea at the ready. "Mr. Darcy!" She sprang to her feet, eyes wide.

"May I present my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam?" He gestured toward Elizabeth, "This is Miss Elizabeth Bennet."

Richard bowed deeply. "I am privileged to make your acquaintance, madam."

"Likewise, I am sure." She dipped in a graceful curtsey. "May I ask what brings you into our company?" When he hesitated, she added, "I dread to think that you are bearing bad tidings."

Richard looked over his shoulder. "You were quite correct, I can see the resemblance." He winked at Darcy then turned back. "I am afraid that is exactly the case. My father has taken ill, and my cousin is desperately needed."

"Oh!" Her hand flew to her mouth. "I am so sorry; please accept my condolences, sir."

"I thank you, madam. We must return to London later today. If you will forgive me, I must visit with Colonel Forster before I leave. Please excuse me." He bowed first to Elizabeth, then to her father.

"Come, I will show you out." Bennet nodded at Darcy as he beckoned to Richard to follow.

A moment later, they were alone.

"Have you recovered sufficiently to take a turn in the garden with me?" He offered her his arm.

Slipping her hand into the crook of his elbow, she smiled sadly. "I would enjoy that."

They stepped out and breathed in the cool morning air.

"Papa would say it smells like rain," she said softly, closing her eyes to listen to the morning.

Darcy watched as the soft morning light glowed on her skin. _Radiant…_ "I expect the weather will turn by afternoon. Unfortunately, that makes Richard even more anxious to leave."

"Of course."

The heaviness in her voice left his heart aching. "I do not wish to leave, most especially not now. I would much rather be here with you, to stand with you as your family recovers from…what happened." He covered her hand on his arm with his free hand. Through their gloves, he could feel the coolness of her fingers.

"I suppose I should not admit it, but I would have liked that, too."

"Of course you should admit it. I know I am a selfish being, but I am pleased to know." He gave her a sidelong glance.

She leaned on his arm a little more heavily. "But you must do your duty to your family."

He paused to step in front of her so he could gaze directly into her eyes. "My uncle has suffered an apoplexy. It is not the first. He had his first two years ago, I think, but recovered well enough. This time, though, the doctors hold little hope for his survival."

"Then there is no choice; you must go."

He guided her to sit on low stone wall. "It is more complicated than that. My uncle's estate is large and complicated. Richard's elder brother Andrew, the heir, is on the continent and must be located and brought back."

"You are charged with that mission." She looked away to follow the flight of a twittering bird.

"I fear that is so. Richard's commander has graciously granted him leave, since his father is a powerful man. But he will not be able to make such a journey, and his sisters certainly cannot. So the task falls to me." He took her hands and kissed them tenderly. "My sister is to marry Andrew. He has been in mourning since his wife died in childbirth. My sister insisted on caring for the child at his estate in the lake district. Given my uncle's impending demise, it would be best for them to marry very soon."

"Your sister must be an extraordinary young woman," Lizzy whispered, looking at their joined hands. "I will be very happy to meet her."

"I shall be happy for that, too. I think you will become very good friends." He dropped his forehead to her hands. "It is for her sake and the children's—"

"Children? I thought you said she was caring for his child? Did I misunderstand?"

"His wife…they are twins…it was unexpected, and I have not quite reconciled that surprise. It all took us by surprise— she was so healthy and strong; we could not have imagined losing her the way we did."

She looked at him critically, with an expression that reminded him of her father. He fought not to turn away from her penetrating gaze.

"I see. Of course, twins can be such a surprise, and under such tragic circumstances, too." Boldly she took his face in her hands. "I know you do not wish to go, but I respect your willingness to do your duty to your family."

He began to speak, but she laid a soft finger across his lips.

"Harvest time will be beginning soon. I can only imagine how much you hate to turn that over to a steward. But you are willing to make that sacrifice for the good of your family. I, of all people, should be able to appreciate that kind of a sacrifice." She pulled his face down to hers and pressed her forehead to his. "And I do. That is the mark of a man I would be willing to marry."

Unable to resist the pull of her lips, he kissed her softly. "There is one more thing. Before I go to the continent, I will have to go to visit my aunt's estate to tell her of my uncle's condition and to ask her to make arrangements for my sister's wedding. Lady Matlock will be in no state to arrange such an event. While I am there, I will also inform her of my intentions toward you."

"Your aunt?" She pulled back and looked at him critically. "What am I failing to understand?"

"She is my mother's sister, and she and my mother had some very clear plans about who I should marry. It seems they planned my marriage from my cradle, and to this day she believes I will follow her prescribed direction. I have humored her until now to keep the family peace. But I will have to make my intentions clear to her and ensure that she will not do anything which might cut you before the ton ."

"Is she—"

"That petty? Yes, when she is crossed, she can be, and I will not allow her to harm you. All this together is what has kept me from being able to openly declare our understanding. I hope you can forgive me for not explaining sooner."

Blinking, she glanced up at the brightening sky. "It can be difficult to talk about the problems in our families. Sometimes it is just much easier to keep it to yourself rather than hope someone else will be able to understand and see it through your eyes." She turned back to him. "Go, with God's speed. Take care of those who depend on you. I will be here."

He bent to kiss her again, slowly, savoring the moment. "I have told your father all of this already. I have promised to write him often. I will count on _you_ to read him my letters."

"Then you must write often, as I read very quickly." She forced a smile, though tears welled up. "And when you return, I expect you to tell me _everything_. " She held his eyes as she emphasized the word.

Darcy swallowed painfully.

"I know you are still holding something back from me. I understand, for now. But if you cannot tell me when you return, then…" She shook her head and looked away.

He watched tears trickle down her cheeks, dropping onto her spencer in dark patches. His heart clenched as a cold feeling suffused his chest. "I will return, and I will tell you everything. I wish—"

"Do not speak to me of wishes. They are far too ephemeral. I told you I understand and will grant you the time you need to feel comfortable to tell me. Until that time, I shall wait. God's speed, Mr. Darcy." She slowly rose and walked back to the house.

Darcy stared at her retreating form, his guts knotting. _I pray I am not making a horrible mistake._

The rains came in the early afternoon, turning the sky a dismal grey. Elizabeth sat on the porch, wrapped in a shawl, watching the rain come down. Droplets gathered along the edge of the eaves, falling in their own irregular sequence. Occasionally the wind would blow them back onto her face to mingle with the hot tears that flowed down her cheeks.

She heard the door open and her father's footsteps behind her. His warm hands came to rest on her shoulders, and he rested his chin on the top of her head, letting his warmth envelope her.

"He is a good man. It is right for him to care for his family," she whispered hoarsely, her throat almost too tight to speak.

"One can care too much." Bennet sighed, letting his chin rest more heavily on her. "I spoke with Sir William today. Charlotte has invited him to visit her in Kent. She asked that he extend the invitation to you as well." They listened to the rain fall. Lightning flashed, shortly followed by booming thunder. "I think you should go."

"The harvest shall be coming in soon. It is not a good time for me to leave you." She leaned back into him and covered his hands with hers.

"That is precisely why I think you should go. How else will Mary and Kitty learn to manage if you are always here to do everything?"

She stiffened under his hands. "They do not need to learn. I am happy to manage it this year. Next year I can begin to teach them."

"That is what you said last year, and perhaps even the year before. As long as you are here, it is far too easy to let you manage as you so ably do. You make it too easy for us, Elizabeth."

"But, Papa, is that not then the very reason I should stay, to make it easy for you all?" A sudden gust of wind pelted them with raindrops, making her shiver.

"Easier for us, but much harder for you. It will be difficult for you to sit here waiting when even your horse reminds you of him." He squeezed her shoulders. "It would be much easier for you to wait in fresh surroundings. It will keep your mind occupied."

"The harvest will do that very well."

"No, it will not. You have spent too many hours discussing estate management; it will make it worse." He kissed the top of her head. "You have taken care of me long enough. You must allow me this. Go to Kent; enjoy your friend and new scenery. If any daughter deserves a season bent on pleasure, it is you."

She pressed his hands hard, but said nothing for several minutes. "He has not told me the whole truth yet. He explained part of why he cannot…but I know there is more. I will not have him without a complete accounting."

"I told him much the same. No wonder he says we are a great deal alike." Bennet chuckled and kissed her hair again. "I have no doubt he will return. The real question is whether you will be able to live with his answers."

"I know." The sky lit brightly for a moment, then thunder rumbled in the distance. "If I go to Kent, will you promise to send for me if you find my sisters are not yet up to managing the harvest?"

"You have my word."

Her shoulders sagged as she exhaled heavily. "Then I think I would like to see Charlotte."

"I will send a note to Sir William as soon as the weather clears."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The rains persisted for the remainder of the week, finally breaking Saturday morning. After breakfast, Kitty joined Lydia in her rooms and told her of Lizzy's invitation to Kent. That news, she received with equanimity, but when travel plans were revealed, her agitation was pronounced. Though her injuries kept her to her rooms, they did not impede her abilities to make her displeasure known. Lizzy spent the better part of the morning trying to calm Lydia's hysterics, but finally she threw up her hands and abandoned the effort in favor of the peace of her father's library.

Lizzy fell into her customary chair and threw her head back into the soft leather, sighing loudly.

"Taking refuge, my dear?" Mr. Bennet chuckled from his chair beside the open window. A cool damp breeze, punctuated with the occasional stray raindrop, fluttered the curtains, . "Perhaps finishing our chess game will take your mind off your sister's displeasure."

Blowing out a deep breath, she pushed herself up and trudged over to sit with him at the chess board. "I do not think I can focus on a game right now."

The corner of his lips lifted. "Then perhaps I will have the advantage?"

"Do not tell me that you can concentrate with that," she threw her hand toward the stairs, "moaning and wailing going on." With a groan, she clutched her temples.

He rose and reached for her hand. "Come, take a walk with me." He tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow. "The drizzle has stopped for the moment, and if we keep close to the house, we can return quickly enough if the wind changes again. I fear you have been inside too long, and the strain is showing."

Shallow puddles dotted the gravel path and splashed softly underfoot. "Hill will scold me dreadfully for coming back with muddied petticoats." She lifted her skirts slightly as she tried to step around a large puddle.

"I would think by now you would be accustomed to that particular complaint." He laughed, patting her arm. "I believe she has held that grievance against you for most of your life."

"I may be accustomed to it, but that does not mean I take any pleasure in it." She rubbed her knuckles along her jaw. "How often does Wallace scold you for the mud on your shoes?"

"He does not dare scold me, dear, for he understands I am the master here."

She paused and turned to look at him, her arm still in his.

He continued walking, urging her to follow. "You and Jane are Longbourn's mistresses, but perhaps you have forgotten I am still the master."

Lizzy looked away and stared at the dirty path before them. "You think I fret too much about leaving?"

"And about your sister."

She stopped and pulled her arm from his. Her hands flew to her hips. "Should I not be worried about her? The double vision shows little signs of subsiding! What future…"

"Why should her future be worse than mine?"

Lizzy started at the sharpness of his voice.

"Do you really think me unaware or unsympathetic to her plight?" he grumbled under his breath and strode forward. "Even you still treat me as an invalid." Rain water splashed loudly under his footsteps.

She stared at his retreating back and then hurried to catch up. "I do not think you an invalid, and you know it, Papa!"

He smiled wryly. "There, you are sounding like yourself again, dear. But still I must disagree; in this case, that is precisely what you are doing." With a sigh, he stopped and turned toward her. "Am I not uniquely qualified to help her through her trauma? Who else knows more about what she has lost or about how to continue on with life? Yet you seem reluctant to allow me to do just that and have taken on the majority of her care yourself."

"She is far from being in any mind to learn anything! Have you not been listening to her? All she does is blame everyone else for what has happened…"

He reached toward her and found her arm. "She blames you."

Lizzy stiffened a moment, then crumpled, her face in her hands, as a strangled sob poured out.

Arm around her shoulders, he let her cry herself out. Pressing a handkerchief into her hands, he asked, "Better?"

"Not really… What do my tears change? Certainly not her!" She mopped her face roughly. "Nor do they affect what has happened. If only—"

"Lizzy," his voice was stern as he grasped her shoulders and forced her to face him. "Do not blame yourself. Do you hear me? This was not your fault." He shook her slightly. "That she did not lose more is to your credit, but none of this is your fault."

"But if I…"

He shook her again, voice rising. "Stop it now! Listen to me! Your mother blamed herself for my accident, and I allowed her to. It nearly killed us both. I will not let you go down that same path."

The boughs above them trembled in a powerful gust, showering them with the remnants of the rain still clinging to the leaves. They hurried ahead several steps, pushing droplets from their shoulders and faces. "Mama blamed herself? But how?"

His tone softened. "She was tired of me lurking about the house grumbling at everyone and encouraged me to go out that day. When Barrows sent an invitation for a hunting party, she insisted I accept. So I dutifully went, and she felt responsible for the results." He shrugged. "You did not encourage Lydia to go to Meryton, in fact, you worked diligently to stay her. So how could you bear more guilt than your mother?" He extended his arm to her, and they began walking again. "My accident was an act of God, some say, but I certainly bear my share of responsibility. I was careless that day. I had not properly maintained my gun. I did not check my ammunition. If anyone was at fault, it was I."

She dabbed her face as more tears overflowed.

"I am not proud to say this, but that first year I blamed your mother, too. Misery ruled us all then." He ran his hand down his face.

A blast of wind whipped her skirts and forced more droplets from the trees down onto them. She shivered as several slid down the back of her neck. "How did it all change?"

"You mean how did I come to my senses?" He chuckled and scratched his head. "It was not easy. Do you remember when you all went to London to visit your Aunt Gardiner?"

"The year Tobias turned three? I remember that. Mama was so worried, leaving you with only Hill and Wallace to attend you."

"Only Hill and Wallace!" He threw his head back and chuckled. "No one but you girls could have attended me better." He paused at a particular flagstone, allowing her to choose which fork in the path to walk. "Your Aunt and Uncle Gardiner could see what was happening from her letters, and they insisted that she come. They were right. Unlike your Aunt Philips, they have always had our best interests at heart and have never tried to force their will upon us." He pressed his lips together and sighed.

"She regrets what she did, you know, so does Lady Lucas," Lizzy whispered, laying her hand over his.

"I know. They have been effusive in their apologies since it all happened."

"And…"

"I must forgive them; there is little choice, if our vicar is to be believed." A bitter laugh escaped. "To hold on to my offense would only condemn me to a life of acrimony, and I have fully enough trouble not to add that to my plate. I will not continue to hold their foolishness against them."

She drew a sharp breath, "You will allow…"

"I said nothing of the sort!" he grumbled low in his throat. "Do not mistake forgiveness with complacency, child. They are not the same. Both of them have lost my trust, and granting them pardon does not change that. Neither Lydia nor Kitty may be in their presence without a reliable chaperone. Your aunt and Lady Lucas have been clearly informed of my decision, and I will not hesitate to cut off all contact if they fail to abide by it even once."

She frowned, nodding thoughtfully. "It is harsh, but I think it a wise decision."

"I am glad you approve." He patted her hand. "Your Uncle Gardiner is a wise man. While you and your mother and sisters visited London, he paid me several visits, each more infuriating than the last. He would stop to see the shopkeepers carrying his goods during the day, then come by to plague me in the evenings."

"Plague you?" She looked at him quizzically.

"Your uncle is not a man who minces words. Suffice it to say that he finally brought me around." He snorted. "He has little patience for invalids."

Lizzy chewed her lip, squinting up into the clouds.

"I will have to have that same conversation with Lydia, and I cannot have you here when I do. She will need the solitude to contemplate her future, as did I. Knowing you are here will distract her far too much. You give in too easily to her demands, and she will concentrate on bending you to her bidding to distract herself from what I seek to teach her. "

"But—"

"You need the solitude too. There are things you must consider as well."

"I do not understand—"

"Yes, you do, but you do not want to. It is time for you to consider your future, a future apart from Longbourn." He tugged her arm so she would walk on with him.

She resisted a moment, but finally followed, staring at the ground as she slogged along.

"If Darcy does as he promises, in a year's time, it is likely that you will be mistress over your own home."

She screwed her face tightly and shook her head. "No, Papa. I do not think so. You must write to him and tell him—"

"I will do no such thing! He has made you an offer of marriage; you have accepted. When he returns to Meryton, you will marry him."

She snatched her hand back. "Are you in such a hurry to get rid of me that you would force me to marry—"

"—a man that loves and appreciates you, whom you love and admire in return? Yes, that is exactly what I would do!" He crossed his arms tightly over his chest.

"He does not…he cannot…" She turned away, wrapping her arms around her waist. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Love you? Of course he does."

"If he did, he would not keep secrets from me."

"Balderdash! And you know it! If he had not been witness to it, would you have told him of your sister's brush with ruination? Did you tell him of Margaret's ruin?"

She muttered something unintelligible under her breath.

"Did you tell him about Horace Carver?"

Lizzy's face grew hot as she pressed her gloved hand to her mouth. Her teeth imprinted the leather as she struggled to hold her tongue.

"I thought not." He took a small step toward her. "I am afraid you have listened far too much to your Aunt Philips. She wants the best for you girls, but she is a fool, convincing you that no worthy man would accept you because of your circumstances. That is why you even considered Carver, is it not?" Taking another step closer, he enveloped her in his arms.

She slowly turned back to him, huddling against the fresh blast of wind.

"He was an unworthy brute that I should never have allowed near you. Those things he said to you were entirely untrue. I know he hurt you, dear, but it is time for you to let that go and move on." He pushed a wayward lock back behind her ear.

"I am afraid, Papa." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"I know, my intrepid girl, I know. But your courage always rises to the occasion." He pulled back slightly, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"But what if he does not return?" She closed her eyes tightly and bit her lip.

His fingertips danced over her face, then he cupped her chin in his palm. "If Darcy does not prove himself the man I think he is, we will all shed a few tears, then dust ourselves off and go on. I am certain the good Lord has more for your future than nursing your old father for the rest of your life. If Darcy is not your future, then so be it. But we will start looking for whatever it will be together. Can you grant me that?"

"I think so." She sniffled.

"Good. Now, be quick back to the house. The wind smells of rain again. I am certain another downpour is on its heels."

Though they raced back, the storm clouds moved faster. A cloudburst unleashed, drenching them in cold rain. Hill and Wallace greeted them at the door with warm towels and a promise of hot baths.

Darcy's first letter arrived after luncheon as they sat by the library's fire, still driving away the chill from their earlier walk. Lizzy's hands trembled as she broke the crisp wax seal.

"Do not dawdle now!" Mr. Bennet leaned back and crossed his legs. "What does our wayward friend have to say?"

Clearing her throat slightly, she began. "'My dear sir, I hope this correspondence finds you warm and dry.'"

Bennet coughed into his hand.

"It is what he says, Father, not I." The corner of her lips twitched. "He goes on to say, 'I myself only recently have begun to remember what either of those qualities is like. As expected, a deluge unleashed when we were but an hour on the road. We were forced to stop at a coaching inn for the night. Since the journey is not twenty-five miles, we had not anticipated such a stop, and neither my cousin nor I had sheets or silverware of our own. I shall not describe the establishment, as your daughters are likely reading this to you, except to say that it would have been preferable to sleep the night in my coach.'" She dropped the letter into her lap, smoothing it over her skirts. "Really, such a particular fellow, I do not see—"

"Have you ever spent the night at an inn? I have, and if it is the inn I am thinking of, he does not exaggerate. It is a place I would never want any of you to even know of, much less visit. The rats there were quite the size of a tomcat the last time I went past."

She shuddered, the paper rattling softly on her knees.

"Now do stop looking for fault with the poor man and give him credit for the alacrity of his writing!" He chuckled, stretching for his tea cup. "Go on now."

She sighed and snapped the paper. "'The weather cleared slightly the next morning, allowing us to arrive at my town home by midday, and to visit my aunt that evening. My cousin did not exaggerate circumstances at all. My uncle's condition is very grave." Her throat tightened, forcing her to pause for a sip of tea. "Worse still, many matters of business have gone neglected, so that is more work for my cousin and me to accomplish here before I leave for my aunt's. I anticipate it will be at a least a week before I can attend her. Following that, I will travel to the continent, and expect a month, or perhaps a fortnight more than that, will be needed to conclude business there. It is my hope that I will be able to return to Hertfordshire in two months' time and renew our acquaintance then. Until that time, you have my best wishes for good health and good weather. Yours, FD.'" She carefully pressed the letter over her lap, her eyes not leaving the paper.

Bennet pressed his lips together, cocking his ear toward her. He heard her breath hitch, and he smiled.

A deep blush colored her cheeks as she continued to read silently. _P.S. If you would be so good as to pass along a message for me. A certain black stallion… _she gasped, _misses his morning runs with a particularly spirited chestnut filly and dearly hopes to resume them upon his return to Hertfordshire. _


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Two days later, the last of the rain cleared. Lizzy's trunks were packed and piled in the front hall. Mary and Kitty wrenched open the nearest one and tore through it. Rolling her eyes, Lizzy turned back toward the stairs.

"Must you make such a mess of what had been already folded?" Mary asked, accidently elbowing Kitty in the side.

"Ouch! That was not necessary! I just want to make sure that the pieces I embroidered for Charlotte have not gotten left behind. I thought this was where I had put them!" Kitty pushed Mary slightly. "Here! I think I have found them."

"Well make sure that you have! I do not want to pack this trunk yet again!"

_Why did I allow them to help me? It would have been so much faster to do it myself. _Lizzy rolled her eyes and shuddered at the sound of more jostling at the trunk. She shook her head sharply and dragged herself upstairs. Halfway up, she paused, hearing Lydia's voice.

"I will not go downstairs! You cannot make me!"

"But dearest—"

_How is Jane so patient? _

"—she is leaving this morning. Do you not wish to say goodbye?"

"How can she leave me like this?"

Clutching her temples, Lizzy turned back down stairs. She gasped and jumped back to find herself nose to nose with her father. "Papa!"

"The carriage is here. You had best leave Lydia to her own devices. I will send Jane down in a moment." He reached for her hand and squeezed it warmly.

She drew a breath to speak, but changed her mind. With one more press of his hand, she slipped past him and down the stairs.

Her trunks were disappearing out the door when she poked her head into the foyer. Sir William stood in the doorway, happily chatting with Kitty.

"You will enjoy your trip," Mary said softly, appearing suddenly at her elbow. "But I know we will all miss you very much."

Lizzy swallowed hard. "I will miss you, too. I promise I will write."

"I promise I will read to Papa while you are gone. I may even decide I like Shakespeare… a little— a very little." She smiled, but it did not light her eyes. "But I do not think I can say the same for Plato."

"He is an acquired taste." Lizzy bit her lower lip as she reached to embrace her sister.

Mary welcomed the hug and soon found another pair of arms joining.

"Go and enjoy yourself," Jane whispered, her voice a little strained. "I promise we shall be fine."

Lizzy pulled back slightly. "Are you sure, Jane? There is so much to do with the harvests just beginning."

"It will be interesting, for sure, but between Papa, Kitty, Mary and I, we will manage." Jane sought her eyes. "It may take the four of us together to stand in your stead, but we will manage." She winked though her eyes were suspiciously bright.

A hand gripped her shoulder. "Sir William is ready, my dear."

"Oh, Papa!" She launched herself into his arms.

He pulled her in close and whispered into her ear, "Go and enjoy yourself. You need this, and so do we. It is time for all of us to grow. It will be well; I have no doubt." He kissed her forehead.

"I will miss you." She squeezed him hard, then straightened and allowed him to lead her to the door.

Though only fifty miles of road stood between them and their destination, weeks of rain ensured that the eight hour journey would extend into ten. Sir William took it upon himself to entertain Lizzy and Maria with his endless repertoire of St. James anecdotes and tidbits about Hertfordshire's history. After only an hour, Lizzy's mind began wandering.

She stared out the side glass, devouring the sights. A rundown building just off the main road caught her attention. A faded sign hung crookedly over the front door, the worn lettering barely visible above the crudely painted illustration. _The fox and stoat. _She shuddered. _That is what Mr. Darcy called Wickham…I wonder… _She squinted, craning her neck to get a better view. A stout woman in a stained apron, mob cap askew, appeared at the door with a bundle of linen in her arms. Stepping outside, she unfurled it, shaking loose bits of debris. Then she rolled it back up and disappeared back inside. Lizzy's nose wrinkled, and she gulped—a large rat dashed out from under the steps to feast on the remains from the tablecloth. She rubbed the back of her hand against her lips. _Father was right, I cannot fault him for not wanting to sleep in a place like that. _

The corners of her lips drifted up, and her eyes lost their focus.

"You find Sir Lionel amusing, do you, Lizzy dear?" Sir William chuckled, leaning back into his seat. He stretched his legs and crossed his ankles. "I can tell you more of him if you would like. What is more," he leaned in close, "if your father will allow you to accompany us to London during the Season, I can introduce you to him. The last I heard, he was still unmarried." He waggled his eyebrows. "I know him to be a man of good reputation."

Lizzy started and sat very straight in her seat, eyes wide. Her cheeks burned. "I…that is to say…perhaps—" She glanced about the coach at Maria, but she only shook her head and giggled. "Thank you. I will discuss it with Papa when we return from Kent." _What a conversation that will be! _

After two hours, the coach pulled to a stop at a posting house to change horses. Lizzy relished the brief respite and jumped at the opportunity to walk the small garden and stretch her legs. Her back ached, and she could still feel the motion of the carriage when she closed her eyes. Too soon, Sir William waved them back in, and they were once again on their way.

The journey continued much the same way until after they shared the lunch that Mrs. Hill had packed for them. Afterwards, both Maria and Sir William dozed off. Lizzy smiled to see Maria's head droop onto her father's shoulder. His head lolled back; mouth open, he breathed loudly, a deep purring sound.

She stifled a giggle and rested her head back against the headrest, her ears ringing in the blessed silence. But no sooner than the coach became quiet did Lydia's shrill voice begin to echo in her mind. _Lizzy you cannot leave! It is not fair! You must stay and take care of me. Why should you get to go whilst I cannot leave home! _She shivered and pulled herpelisse tight across her chest. _Papa is so demanding! I cannot do what he asks! You must make him see that! Please do not leave! _The carriage lurched and she clutched the seat. When the rocking ceased, she hunched down, staring at her feet, chin dropping to her chest. _Papa, can you really manage her? Why is it that you know her so little. None of the rest of us were ever able to hide anything from you, but Lydia? I have neglected her. _She dragged her hands down her face. _No, he is right, I cannot keep dwelling on these thoughts. She chose to disobey; that was not my fault. _She blew out a deep breath and turned to look out the windows.

Horses grazed in the field beside them. A black colt pricked his ears and lifted his head. He nickered, then whinnied and pawed the ground, watching as they passed.

Her stomach knotted. _What have I done? Why would Papa… _She screwed her eyes shut, covering her face with her clenched fists._ He said he would come back, and I have no reason to distrust him…except that he would not tell me why…no, Papa is right, I did not share the family secrets with him; why should he have behaved any differently? He is a good man. His way with Papa shows that. What other man has ever been so gracious, much less protective of him? He even offered to have Papa live with us. On that alone, I should accept him._

Her heart clenched. _But I love him. Of all things, I am in love! What have I done? What if he— _She choked back a sob, glancing at her companions.

Sir William snored softly; Maria drooled slightly, her head bobbing against his shoulder.

_All this sentiment is highly overrated. Now I know why all counsel says it is unwise to marry for love. What a bacon-brained bumblebroth I have made! _She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Straightening her shoulders, she reached into her bag and retrieved her book. She opened the cover and flipped through the pages, willing her eyes to focus. _Much Ado About Nothing _She grumbled under her breath.

With a heavy sigh, she shut her book, the snap echoing in the confines of the carriage. _I shall conquer this! _Crossing her arms over her chest, she focused on the side glass.

Six hours and three changes of horses later, they rolled to a stop beside a small gate. Beyond it and a short way down a gravel path, stood a neat cottage. The setting sun hid just below the roofline, blazing red and orange rays peeking out from behind.

Charlotte stepped out from the long shadows to greet her father and sister. Lizzy paused at the door, waiting for the driver to hand her out. She craned her neck try to see everything at once.

"I am so glad you are come, Lizzy." Charlotte grasped her hand tightly. "Was your journey difficult?"

"My dear Mrs. Collins, why did you not inform me of their arrival?" Collins stepped into a waning sunbeam, tugging at his coat sleeves. "You know you should wait for guests to be brought to you in your sitting room. Lady Catherine—"

"Mr. Collins, Lizzy is my oldest friend. My father and sister? Surely there is no harm done." She cocked her head, brows creasing her forehead into fine lines.

"Propriety should be maintained in all circumstances." He glared at her. "I do not need to remind you of the displeasure we should suffer should word reach my most esteemed patroness. Her wishes must be complied with at all times."

Charlotte's cheeks colored. "She is a most attentive neighbor." She blinked several times and bit her upper lip.

"Come, come." Mr. Collins waved them toward the door. "We must get in out of the air before anyone takes chill. You know Lady Catherine would be most displeased if anyone takes a cold for having ignored her kind direction." He waved his hands frantically.

Charlotte shrugged, then gestured for Lizzy to precede her into the house.

In the foyer, a maid collected their coats. Over the bustle, Mr. Collins said, "Did you notice the entry way? Lady Catherine herself designed it for convenience and easy entrance."

"It is quite a serviceable entrance." Sir William nodded, glancing toward the door.

Lizzy tried to catch Charlotte's eye, but Charlotte looked away.

Maria hurried to her sister. "Will you show us the house?" She bobbed up and down on her toes.

"I will most happily, but I am certain you are all famished. The tour can wait until tomorrow, when you are all refreshed and the sunlight can show the house to the best advantage." She smiled tightly. "Why do you not come into the parlour and help yourselves to the cold meats and cheese we have on the sideboard? Mr. Collins, will you not lead us there?"

He suddenly turned toward her. "Yes, certainly, my dear." He cut through the small group and extended his arm. She took it and walked with him the short distance to the drawing room.

Lizzy filled her plate, her stomach grumbling as she smelled the enticing aromas. Dodging her companions, she made her way across the room to a dainty stuffed chair near the fireplace. After placing her plate on a nearby table, she adjusted the chair and footstool to better face the rest of the room.

"No, no!" Collins was suddenly at her shoulder, hovering.

She turned toward him with a start.

"I must ask you never to move the furniture. It must remain situated exactly as it is." He bent to move the chair back.

"Excuse me—" Lizzy stepped back, tripping slightly over the edge of the rug.

"Mrs. Collins!" He turned sharply, scanning the room to find her. "That carpet! Have I not told you the carpet must be properly tacked down?"

Charlotte rushed to his side. "I will see to it first thing in the morning. Do not fear. I will attend to it myself. It shall be corrected before she visits us again." She kept her eyes down.

"Well, see to it that it is done properly!" He huffed, pulling his waistcoat. "Be certain to inform you sister that nothing is to be moved. Nothing!" With a hard exhale, he stomped away.

Lizzy's jaw dropped, and she stared wide-eyed.

Charlotte's face fell, her lips pinched hard and eyes closed; she took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. "Lady Catherine is very particular, you see. She believes that it is disquieting to one's household for furniture to be moved about. Once it is set in place, there it should remain." She made a final adjustment on the chair, then the footstool. "Really it is not such a bad sentiment." She dragged her toes under the offending carpet edge. "This really is so easy to trip on. He is right; it must be fixed."

Lizzy laid her hand on Charlotte's forearm and squeezed it gently.

Charlotte tipped her head to offer a small smile. "Please, do sit down and eat. I know it has been a long day for you, and you must be famished."

Though she sat and gathered her plate, Lizzy kept her eyes on Charlotte as she moved about the room tending to her guests. With slow, almost matronly strides, Mrs. Collins went from her husband to her father and sister. Gone were the light graceful steps of the young woman Lizzy once knew.

In short order, everyone had been served and was enjoying the cold meal. Maria sat near the window, her eyes darting around the room, then back to the road, as if she were watching for someone else to arrive. Sir William sat beside her, softly instructing her on the history of Kent.

Collins chose a seat near the fireplace, close enough to converse with his cousin. "Is this not a lovely room, Cousin Elizabeth?" He took a large bite of chicken.

Charlotte sidled past him to perch awkwardly on a tall stool behind Mr. Collins. Carefully balancing her plate on her lap, she leaned down to set her glass on the small table beside his.

"It is indeed, sir, very fine." She nodded, glancing between Charlotte and Collins.

"It has a very fine prospect of the road during the day." Charlotte glanced quickly at her husband.

"Mrs. Collins is quite correct." He nodded vigorously, reaching for his glass and drinking deeply. With a gulp, he continued, "I find it a most advantageous situation for my personal study as it allows me to be instantly aware of when my patroness passes by." Several drops of wine spilt as he set the glass down forcefully. "You cannot overestimate our good fortune to have such a noble—"

"And attentive." Mischief dance in Lizzy's eyes as her lips twitched. Collins glared coldly, dousing the warmth of her expression.

Charlotte leaned forward with a small jerk of her head. "Lady Catherine is indeed a most attentive and instructive neighbor. No detail of the household or neighborhood is too small for her notice."

Collins turned toward her, his look softening somewhat. "More than that, Cousin Elizabeth, though she is not in the commission of the peace for the county, she is a most active magistrate in her own parish. I serve as her most devoted deputy." He dipped his head while puffing his chest out. "I assist her with even the minutest concerns. Whenever any of the cottagers are disposed to be quarrelsome, discontented or too poor, she sallies forth into the village to settle their complaints. There is no greater model of Christian charity or virtue!"

Lizzy opened her mouth to respond, but Collins interrupted with further effusions upon the graciousness, beneficence and perception of his most esteemed and noble patroness. So she tried to apply herself to her meal, but not infrequently fought the impulse to laugh. These urges, in turn, brought on severe spells of choking, which brought Charlotte to her side. "I am sorry, Mr. Collins," Lizzy gasped, tears in her eyes, wiping her lips with a napkin. "I cannot imagine what has come over me."

"I am sure you are just weary from the road," Charlotte offered softly, gently rubbing her back.

"Yes, I am sure you are right." Lizzy coughed again softly. "Pray forgive me for interrupting you, Mr. Collins."

"You must increase your efforts to be attentive, Cousin." He tapped his heel, his knee bouncing notably. A throbbing vein stood out on his temple, purpling as he ground his jaw. "Lady Catherine is most adamant that thorough descriptions be given in every conversation. Hers are the very voice of poetry. You cannot risk offending her by failing to attend to them."

Lizzy gulped the glass of water Charlotte handed her.

"She says that it is a man's God given duty to ensure clarity in every communication. Since the fall of Babel's tower, our tongues have been hampered, and the use of many words is the surest way to remedy that curse."

_I thought "In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips __is__ wise." _Lizzy blinked several time. "I had not heard that." Her voice was a squeak.

"You have been deprived of the greatest source of wisdom!" He waved his hands excitedly as he launched into another animated narrative.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Lizzy slept late in to the morning, finally rising to the sound of Collin's strident demands called from the foot of the stairs.

"Mrs. Collins! Mrs. Col—lins! I need my satchel! I must bring those accounts to Lady Catherine! Mrs. Collins!"

Staccato footsteps echoed down the hall. A door opened and banged against the wall, then more footsteps and a door slammed. "It is here," Charlotte's voice called.

Heavy footfalls ascended the stairs. "What did _you _do with it?"

"It was on the shelf in your chamber closet, where Lady Catherine told you to keep it," Charlotte whispered.

Lizzy winced at the tone of her friend's voice, cringing as she heard the rustling of fabric and low pitched mutterings just outside her door. Pounding feet descended the stairs. She held her breath a moment, then pushed aside the bed clothes. She slid off the featherbed and padded to the door, then pressed her ear against the cool wood. The voices had ceased, so she eased the door open just a bit.

Charlotte stood in the hall, shoulders slumped, looking at the floor. She turned at the sound of the door. Lizzy beckoned her into the room. Charlotte glanced around, biting her lip, then hurried into the guest room.

They stood looking at each other for a moment, neither knowing what to say. Charlotte swallowed and pressed her lips hard. "He is always tense when he must bring the accounts to his patroness." She pulled her shawl tightly around her shoulders.

"What accounts? Do you mean to tell me that she reviews your household ledgers?" Lizzy struggled to catch her eye.

Charlotte ran her hands up and down her upper arms. "Yes, she does. She is quite active in the management of the households under her care."

"I see." Lizzy sat on the rumpled bed sheets. "Does she show the same diligence to her own accounts or has she a steward to see to her affairs so that she may meddle in the lives of others?" She snorted and crossed her arms.

Charlotte exhaled hard and wandered to the window. She traced the edge of the windowsill with her fingertips.

_Checking for dust, I am certain, lest the great lady find it herself. _Lizzy's lips wrinkled into a frown.

Leaning so close to the glass that her breath fogged it, Charlotte pressed her forehead to the cool smooth surface. "I know it is not something you could live with, Lizzy. I do not ask you to approve." She turned back to face Lizzy, then sat lightly against the windowsill. "It is not so bad a thing, really. He devotes the better part of each Wednesday preparing the ledgers and gathering the ledgers from several of the nearby farmers and cottagers. Then Thursday he spends with Lady Catherine reviewing the accounts. Friday he acts as her secretary as she makes her calls to deal with the issues that have arisen in her domain. Saturday is for his garden. Monday we go into town to the shops, and Tuesday are parishioner calls. So many a day goes by that I am in his company only a few minutes at a time. I find I can bear the solitude quite cheerfully. Do not fear for me; I am quite content." She reached her hands to Lizzy who took them firmly.

"Truly, Charlotte?" Lizzy stood and stepped closer to her. "I hear your words, but your eyes tell me something else."

"You are just like your father." She closed her eyes and bowed her head.

"So I have been told." Tugging her to the bed, Lizzy encouraged her to sit. "Tell me; you know you can speak freely, and it will never leave the confines of this room."

Charlotte sagged into the soft featherbed. "You have always kept my secrets. I know you are the most trustworthy of friends." She rested her head on Lizzy's shoulder. "Sometimes I think you have known me far too long."

"I do not think it possible to know a friend too long." She pressed her cheek to the top of Charlotte's head. "So then tell me."

"Do you remember how you described him to me him when he first came to Longbourn?"

"Oh do not remind me of what I said then." Lizzy's shoulders twitched, and she blushed fiercely.

"You warned me he was an adder, basking on a warm rock— one that it would be best to leave alone, for its bite would be painful at best." Charlotte stared at the wall unblinking.

"I am so sorry I even spoke so freely. I should not have said those things. I have been warned so many times—"

"No, Lizzy, there is no need to apologize." She lifted her head to face Lizzy, lips pinched. "You were quite right; I should have listened to you."

"Charlotte—"

"No, you must at least give me the satisfaction of saying it. It is uncanny how accurate your descriptions are. He is just what you said, an adder. As you heard, his bite is unpleasant to be sure. But like his namesake, he is not an aggressive creature. It is not difficult to avoid his fangs most of the time. He is nothing if not predictable."

Lizzy tried several teams to speak, but found no words. Even if she had, her throat was too tight to even say them.

"Do not be sorry for me. There is much I am grateful for." She clasped her hands tightly in her lap. "I am mistress of my own home, and my husband is respectable. We are well provided for as long as he lives. It is better than living off the charity of my brothers as their spinster sister, caring for their children."

"But—"

"But what, Lizzy? You know as well as I— the truth of it matter is that I had no prospects at home. With no fortune and no beauty to recommend me, I was far too old to attract an eligible husband, and there were few enough possibilities available to start with. I am blessed to have what I do. What is more, I am anticipating a further blessing." She pressed her hands to her stomach. "I have not told anyone yet."

"How wonderful for you! I know how much you have dreamed of such a blessing." Her brows lifted and a wry smile lit her face. "Lady Catherine's advice will be plentiful when she knows of your good fortune, I am sure."

"Most assuredly." Charlotte chuckled. "Be sure, I will keep my peace for as long as I can. There has been no quickening, yet, but I expect it very soon."

"You will tell me as soon as you are certain?"

"Of course, I will. I dearly hope it will happen while you are here with me." She ran her hand over her stomach, a dreamy look in her eyes. "So you see, despite the challenges of living with an adder, I am truly content."

"I believe you, and if you are satisfied, then I am happy for you." Lizzy reached out and squeezed her hands.

"I have more than I ever hoped to." She leaned forward, feet fidgeting. "I want you to be truly happy for me."

"Then I am."

"Thank you. I cannot tell you how I feared you would disapprove. You must think me hopelessly silly." She fumbled for her handkerchief and dabbed he eyes. "I weep so easily these days. But I try not to let him see."

"I am told that is a sign in favor of your dearest hopes." Lizzy offered a weak smile.

"I have heard the same." She smiled as she rose. "I should let you dress. Do you want me to have a tray brought up for you?"

"No, I would much rather join your downstairs. I will be there soon."

"He will be gone the better part of the day. Papa has left with him, so it will be just you, Maria and I for the morning. It will be like old times."

Lizzy watched her leave and the door shut behind her. She tucked her knees up under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs. _ She married for all the reasons I am told a woman should marry: for status and situation, to leave her father's house for her own, to bear children, heirs. But there is no love, not even companionship. I admire her strength, but I cannot live such a life. _

After breakfast, Charlotte took them on a tour of the house, pointing out its many modern conveniences and crediting them all to the generosity and wisdom of Lady Catherine. Lizzy noticed the efficient management of the servants, obvious throughout the house, which she credited to her friend's wise management, not the intervention of their helpful neighbor. Charlotte's pride shone in her eyes, revealed further by the blush in her cheeks at Lizzy's praise.

Charlotte ushered them into her drawing room, a warm, neat chamber that reflected its mistress in every corner. "Did Lady Catherine arrange the furniture in this room, too, or were you allowed to have your say here?"

Charlotte laughed, though the sound was a little hollow. "I found no fault in her arrangement; in fact, I learned a great deal from her original placements."

Lizzy turned aside to roll her eyes before she sat on the wide settee beside Maria. "So tell me honestly of Lady Catherine."

Charlotte squirmed in her seat. "A truthful assessment is a difficult thing." She played with a curl that escaped her mob cap. "She is a grand lady and most attentive neighbor with helpful advice in nearly all areas—"

"That is to say she is intrusive and overbearing, pushing her nose— a most prodigious appendage to be sure— in where it is least wanted." Lizzy grinned, sticking her nose in the air.

Maria gasped, her hands flying to her mouth, but her eyes twinkled with merriment.

"That is not fair, Lizzy! She is most concerned with the wellbeing of my household…"

"Of course, her rank necessitates that she must know your business much better than you do." She squared her shoulders and stared down her nose at Maria. "Do you not realize that when one is born with the privilege of rank one is also born with innate knowledge and understanding of all things and people within their purview."

"You are far too harsh in your judgments!" Charlotte rolled her eyes. "She has a great deal of experience in the management of a household."

"That is a very odd thing indeed considering her rank insures that she has certainly never actually managed a home herself. For such menial work, there are servants!"

Maria laughed heartily. "How can you say such things? Mr. Collins would be most displeased."

"Can you imagine the great lady ever soiling her hands in the kitchen as we all have when the fruit comes in and preserves must be made?" Lizzy extended her open hands. "Or even worse, that she might chap her lovely hands participating in the horrors of laundry day?"

"But to be fair, her pronouncements are very often correct," Charlotte huffed. "Last week she told me of the value of soaping linen in warm water the night before laundry is done. I instructed our maid to do so and found it a vast improvement, taking much less scouring to remove stains and thus sparing the fabric."

"I will give you that is a good idea. I will suggest it to Hill when I return to Longbourn. Let it not be said I am unteachable."

"She also taught me how to use soda to soften the wash water and thereby reduce the amount of soap needed. Since using soda in the tubs and boiler, I have found we use at least a third less soap than before and yet the clothes are as clean as before. My mother had never heard of such a thing until I wrote and told her. She has since written to ask that I share all of Lady Catherine's instructions with her; the saving were so substantial, she became quickly convinced of the value of the advice of our patroness."

"I must concede to your experience; the Lady does indeed have good advice to offer." Lizzy's eyes twinkled. "That must be why she feels the need to offer it so much."

Mariah laughed heartily while Charlotte just shook her head.

Mr. Collins returned well after tea and spoke to no one, instead proceeding directly to his bookroom and shutting the door behind him.

Lizzy bit her lip at the sharp sound as it reverberated through the cottage.

"Fear not," Charlotte whispered. "Such is his habit. He will recover his good humor by dinner time."

Lizzy held her tongue, though it required all the self-control she could muster.

An hour later, when they gathered at the table for dinner, Lizzy noted some of the tension had left Collins's posture, and his prayer over the meal reflected his typical verbosity.

Collins stood to carve the joint. "Cousin Elizabeth," he glanced up at her, "what a pleasure it is to have you here at our table. I hope you are not displeased by the simplicity of our victuals. We have not the abundance of dishes _you[_ /i] are accustomed to."

Lizzy stared wide-eyed at him while Charlotte blushed.

"A simple spread is no reason for shame." Sir William tugged at his collar then busied himself serving Maria and Lizzy from a heaping dish of peas.

"Far from a mark of shame, sir, it is the image of humility itself. Such is the appropriate attitude for a clergyman such as myself." He transferred a slice of mutton to his own plate, then one to Charlotte's. "So Lady Catherine has reminded me, even this day. 'Economy. Mr. Collins,' she said, 'is the very image of godliness. So it should be the mark of my vicar.' To that end," he turned to Charlotte, "she has taken the liberty of canceling your order at the butcher."

"Pray excuse me, Mr. Collins, I do not understand." Lizzy could see the tension at the corners of Charlotte's eyes.

"She spoke to him of your orders and has made it quite clear that she feels the joints you order are far too much for our little household and will only go to waste. Servants have no business being fed with such extravagance—"

"We do have guests, sir," she replied, her voice tight. "We have more mouths to feed than usual. Has she considered that?"

"Lady Catherine has taken care of the meat order, never fear. What she has arranged will be sufficient for our party," he assured happily. "I know you will make it so."

Charlottes jaw became tense and she swallowed hard, but she said nothing. "I will speak to Cook."

Sir William scowled and glanced at Maria whose face had become very pale.

Collins turned to Lizzy with a saccharine smile. "Cousin Elizabeth, you will have the honour of seeing Lady Catherine de Bourgh on Sunday at church, and I need not say you will be delighted with her. She is all affability and condescension, and I doubt not but you will be honoured with some portion of her notice when service is over. She is always most attentive to visitors to our humble services. I have scarcely any hesitation in saying that she will include you and my sister Maria in every invitation with which she honours us during your stay here."

"Are those invitations frequent?" Lizzy asked, noticing Maria squirming in her chair.

"We are blessed with her notice twice, even sometimes three times in a week." He pushed a large piece of mutton into his mouth and chewed, small bits flying from his lips.

"But I did not bring sufficient clothes!" Maria looked at her father in alarm.

"I am sure you are not the only one." Lizzy patted her hand soothingly.

"Do not make yourself uneasy, my dear cousin, about your apparel. Lady Catherine is far from requiring that elegance of dress in us, which becomes herself and daughter. I would advise you merely to put on whatever of your clothes is superior to the rest, there is no occasion for anything more. She will not think the worse of you for being simply dressed." He set down his knife and fork with a clank. "She likes to have the distinction of rank preserved."

"I am quite relieved to have that understanding." Lizzy blinked hard and swallowed, trying to turn her eyes back to her plate.

Collins began to cut his meat again. He forced another too large piece of meat into his mouth and struggled to chew it down enough so he could talk through it. "Her behaviour to my dear Charlotte is charming. Each time we dine at Rosings we are never allowed to walk home. Her ladyship's carriage is regularly ordered for us. I _should _say, one of her ladyship's carriages, for she has several.'' He lifted his glass and took a large swallow.

"And does she use them all simultaneously?" Lizzy asked, her throat very tight.

""Excuse me, I do not understand you."

"You suggest she is a woman who values wise management, and yet she would maintain more carriages than she could possibly utilize?"

He set his glass down hard enough to rattle his plate. "Do I understand you to be critical of her ladyship?"

"You misunderstand your cousin," Charlotte said with a quick glance at Lizzy then back to her husband. "I have known Lizzy all my life, and I can assure you that she means no disrespect. She is merely overwhelmed by Lady Catherine's consequence and does not know how to express herself with the eloquence that you have developed."

The high color faded from Collins's cheeks, the tension leaving his eyes. "Very true, my dear, that is exactly what has happened." He turned to Sir William. "Lady Catherine is the sort of woman whom one cannot regard with too much deference. Certainly even discussing such consequence can be overwhelming for those not accustomed to it.''

"Of course, I…I meant no offense…." Lizzy's stomach soured, and she felt her face grow cold.

"Of course not," Collins said mildly, returning to his plate. "Although my patroness is full of Christian charity to those in situations less than her own, it might do you well to recall your relative stations…the condition of your father marks your standing in society very clearly. You must remember that at all times, and be grateful for the opportunity afforded you to rub shoulders with those whose situation is so decidedly above your own."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The next morning a soft knock at her chamber door drew Lizzy out of her reverie. After a moment, Charlotte slipped inside and joined Lizzy at the window seat. They sat quietly together for several minutes.

"Are you well, Lizzy?" Charlotte kept her eyes on the garden view. "I have never known you to have such headaches before. You left so abruptly, I worried for you."

"I am well." Lizzy turned to look at her. "Please do not worry on my account."

"But your headache— should I call the apothecary?"

"There is no need. It has passed."

"I have never known you to lie to me before." She placed her hand on Elizabeth's arm. "I am sorry he spoke of your father that way."

"You said nothing wrong. You have nothing to be apologizing for." Lizzy looked out the window to watch Collins trundling down the path toward Rosings. She gritted her teeth and exhaled heavily.

"But you feel he does."

"I have heard his opinion before; he has said nothing new." She pushed herself off the cushion and wandered along the wall. "It is a good thing that he was not japaned1 when my father had his accident. Had we been visited by spiritual counsel of his variety, I fear all hope would have been lost. We were indeed fortunate to have a vicar cut of a very different cloth, one who reminded us of the blessings we had and who instilled in us the hope of the Almighty's goodness." She turned back to Charlotte, tears brimming. "When Mr. Collins visited Longbourn, he was kind enough to remind my father that a constant state of repentance was an appropriate attitude for one such as himself. The the accident that caused his unenviable state was proof of the Almighty's hand against him. That he had been granted life should be a daily reminder of the Lord's patience, and he should endeavor never ever to try it again. He opined that whatever my father had done to cause the Lord to smite him must have been truly wicked indeed and my dear cousin promised to continue to pray for his eternal soul." Her voice was thin and tense.

"Mr. Collins has stated that belief to me as well. But you must understand, it is not his view alone. There are many who would share that intelligence."

The knot in Lizzy's belly grew tighter. "Do you?"

"That is of little matter—" Charlotte rose and stepped toward her.

"You did not answer my question. Do you share that belief?" She stepped back, her back against the wall.

"You know I do not. But _that_ is not something which I can freely say in my husband's hearing." She clasped her hands before her and stared down at them.

Lizzy snorted. "Forgive me, Charlotte, but it seems there is a great deal that you cannot say in your husband's presence."

"I know you do not understand." She rose and paced along the side of the bed. "You need not be concerned about the butcher. Lady Catherine has disapproved of my selections before and I dare say she has generally been correct. I am still becoming accustomed to the correct amounts to order." She blushed as she looked at the floor. "I see what you are feeling; you must be surprised, very much surprised. You cannot understand why I would tolerate his opinions and his piques. But when you have had time to think it all over, I hope you will be satisfied with what I have done. I am not romantic, you know. I never was. I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the marriage state.''

Bitterness rose in Lizzy's throat, she tried to swallow it back, but she could not erase the taste. "Are you happy, Charlotte?"

After a long silence, Charlotte replied, "No, I am not."

Silence, a smothering woolen blanket, enfolded them both, itching and prickling against their skin. Lizzy moved to sit on the bed, trying to escape its embrace.

Charlotte sat beside Lizzy again. "You must realize, I never expected to be either. I am not less happy here than I was under my father's roof with my mother and sister constantly reminding me of what an old tabby I had become. At least here I am afforded the respect of a married woman. I am able to manage my own household as I see fit."

"In so far as Lady Catherine allows it." She rolled her eyes with a soft huff.

"I can tell that you resent her intrusions. I am not surprised that you would, given how you are used to being mistress of Longbourn and running things to your own satisfaction. It is true, Lizzy, do not argue with me."

Lizzy sighed and nodded.

"But I have never been allowed to make a decision for myself before. I find it quite refreshing. Moreover, to be entirely truthful, Lady Catherine is a font of knowledge. For as much as her advice may be unwanted and even at times unwelcome, she is usually correct in what she says. Truly I have learned more from her than I ever did from my mother on anything."

"You sound so much like Jane, always wishing to see the good in everyone. I myself cannot see it, for from my perspective she is naught but a grumpy old hen, pecking on each one lower than her in the henhouse."

"You are still describing people that way?" Charlotte laughed. "I do not know why I would think you might have given that up. You know that is going to bring you to trouble one day. While I did not mind your calling me a partridge, and even found it complimentary in an odd sort of way, I am quite certain that not everyone will respond so graciously to your habit."

"I am sure you are correct, but I have long done this for my father, and I find it is difficult for me to stop." _Mr. Darcy did not seem too disturbed…he clearly knows_ . Her face grew hot.

"I can see that you have been caught in your harmless little entertainment, though. I will not ask; you seem convicted enough." She patted Elizabeth's arm. "Do not judge Lady Catherine too quickly or too harshly. There are reasons enough why she is so…helpful…to us all. I think once you meet her and her daughter, you will better understand. In fact, I think you might even become sympathetic." Charlotte rose. "Please, Lizzy, do not be troubled on my behalf, I am indeed quite content. I know you do not understand it, and I do not expect you to, but believe it for my sake." Charlotte quietly slipped out of the room.

Lizzy stared out the window, pulling her shawl more tightly around her. No fire had yet been lit and somehow she did not expect the "humility" of her surrounds would result in a fire anytime soon. She sighed and shuddered. _She says she is content. I should not judge her. Her home was so different to mine…as was her dowry, what there was of it. She is right; we are very different, but I am certain, quite certain, that I could not be content in such a life._ Frustration exploding, she rose and paced in front of the empty fireplace. _I could not live with someone looking over my shoulder, questioning my decisions. The gall of that woman to cancel Charlotte's order! The nerve of her! I would not tolerate…my father would not accept…but would Mr. Darcy? Surely he would never expect me to suffer such…would he? _

She scowled and paced a little faster. _I know he is an involved master. He knows every detail that goes on under his roof. Does he meet with his housekeeper each week, going over her menus and her orders from the shops? Would he cancel her orders and…is that what husbands do? I know Papa never behaved thus, but I can hardly think that his situation would extend beyond our home. What does the marriage state look like? I hardly know what to think anymore._

_Charlotte has told me of her parents' quarrels, and I have heard Uncle and Aunt Philips often enough. Is that what I should expect? That is certainly not what I want. No, I will not have it. If that is what Mr. Darcy expects of me, then our understanding will be at an end, for I shall not live like that._

_No I shall not. I will not have it! _

She hugged her waist trying to contain the welling despair. _How am I to know what you expect? If only I were still at Longbourn and could write to under the guise of father's letters! But I cannot! How am I to wait to find out? _

About the middle of the day, as Elizabeth was in her room getting ready for a walk, a sudden noise in the drive outside whipped the household into confusion. After listening a moment, she heard somebody running up stairs in a violent hurry, calling loudly after her. She opened the door, and met Maria in the landing.

"Oh, my, Lizzy! Pray make haste and come downstairs, for there is such a sight to be seen! I will not tell you what it is. Make haste and come down this moment.'' Without another word, she dashed back down the stairs, leaving Lizzy little choice but to follow.

She caught up with Maria in the dining-room, which fronted the drive, and saw two ladies in a low phaeton stopped at the garden gate. "And is this all?'' Lizzy laughed. "I expected at least that the pigs were got into the garden, and here is nothing but Lady Catherine and her daughter!"

"La!'' said Maria. "It is not Lady Catherine. The old lady is Mrs. Jenkinson, who lives with them. The other is Miss De Bourgh. Only look at her! She is quite a little creature. Who would have thought she would be so frail looking!"

"How can you tell, she keeps her face turned down as though she did not wish to see us! She is abominably rude to keep Charlotte out of doors in all this wind. Why does she not come in?''

"Charlotte says she hardly ever does. It is the greatest of favours when Miss De Bourgh comes in."

Mr. Collins and Charlotte both stood at the gate in conversation with the ladies; and Sir William, to Elizabeth's high diversion, was stationed in the doorway, in earnest contemplation of the greatness before him.

"Do you not think it strange," Lizzy said, "that Miss De Bourgh does not even look this way? Despite her rank and station, I believe it quite impolite not to even offer her notice to your father standing there as he does."

"I am convinced he does not mind. He was certainly not prepared for an introduction today. I heard him rehearsing a small speech he intends to make when his is first introduced. I believe Mr. Collins suggested that to him." She tittered behind her hand.

"I can believe that." Lizzy watched as Charlotte stepped closer to Miss De Bourgh, who leaned down toward her. The brim of Miss De Bourgh's large bonnet blew back slightly in the brisk breeze, momentarily revealing her face. _ That expression looks so familiar. No, I must be imagining. _She shook her head and drew the curtain back into position. "Come away from the window, Maria; we should not be seen gawking, even at our betters."

Several moments later, Collins and the others reentered the house. The front door, caught by gust of wind, slammed shut. "So now you have seen the grandeur of my patroness and her civility towards myself and my wife. I do not know how to admire enough her great condescension that she would come so soon to call." He led them into the parlor and rang for tea. "I confess," said he, "that I should not have been at all surprised by her ladyship's asking us on Sunday to drink tea and spend the evening at Rosings. I rather expected, from my knowledge of her affability that it would happen. But who could have foreseen such an attention as this? Who could have imagined that our entire party should receive an invitation to dine there? And so immediately after your arrival!"

"I am the less surprised at what has happened," replied Sir William, "from that knowledge of what the manners of the great really are, which my situation in life has allowed me to acquire. About the Court, such instances of elegant breeding are not uncommon."

"I should think not." Collins, shifted uncomfortable.

"Papa," Charlotte glanced at her husband, color rising in her cheeks. "It would be best if you do not speak of Court while we are at Rosings."

"Why ever not? I should think that Lady Catherine would be most pleased to speak of an experience she cannot have in common with many of her circle here."

"Miss De Bourgh has not been presented at court." Collins turned to the housekeeper who had just appeared at the door and waved her to place her tray and leave.

"Her health, you see," Charlotte began to serve tea.

"Her constitution is most fragile. She is a most delicate flower." Collins rattled his teacup as he took it from Charlotte's hands. "Mrs. Collins!"

She handed him a linen napkin and kept her eye on the tea service. "She was not born sickly, you must understand, but was stricken with scarlet fever…"

Collins nearly dropped his saucer on the table. "The details of her condition are not to be discussed!" His eyes bulged and face turned red as he leaned forward. "Lady Catherine is quite adamant in that point, and I will not have those in my household insult her in any way. The thorn of the flesh which she must bear is not an appropriate topic of discussion."

"Do not worry yourself, sir." Sir William kept on eye on Collins, and Charlotte handed him his tea. "I am quite certain that no one here has any intention of saying anything to displease your patroness." He glanced at Maria who nodded vigorously, her eyes wide.

Collins turned his glare upon Lizzy. "I am quite assured of _your _discretion, Sir William. There are however those among us who are much more free with their tongue than befits their station and situation."

Lizzy's fingers curled around the fabric of her skirt, crushing it as her nails dug into her palms.

"You will of course, Cousin, be mindful of both and not forget your place." Collins leaned back slightly, crossing one leg over the other.

Eyes narrowed, she replied, "Exactly what do you believe my place to be?"

Charlotte jumped slightly. "He means to say—"

"You will find no fault in my deportment, sir." She rose and smoothed her skirts. "You will excuse me; I find I have a dreadful headache." Not waiting to be acknowledged, she hurried away, stopping only to gather her bonnet and spencer on the way out the door.

"You must speak to her, Mrs. Collins." Collins retrieved a biscuit and pushed it into his mouth. Chewing noisily, crumbs spraying, he said, "I will not have her disturb Lady Catherine or embarrass me. If she cannot mind the simple requirements I have given her, it would be best that she does not accompany us."

Charlotte's lower jaw jutted forward as she bit her upper lip hard. Blinking hard, she turned to him. "You do not have anything to fear for my friend's behavior. I am quite certain Miss De Bourgh will get on famously with her, and as you know, anyone who pleases Miss De Bourgh is a favorite of Lady Catherine."

Lizzy tied her bonnet hastily, nearly strangling herself with the knots. She tried several times to button her spencer, misaligning the buttons and holes several times before she finally had to stop to get it fastened properly. Grumbling under her breath she tugged her pelisse straight and turned sharply to walk directly into an unexpected person. "Oh!" She staggered back.

A strong hand grabbed her upper arm, keeping her from falling. "Pray excuse me, madam," the stocky man said as he bowed, removing his wide brimmed hat.

"Please forgive me, sir. I was not attending my direction." She curtsied awkwardly, still a bit off balance.

He chuckled, smoothing back his silver hair and settling his hat back in place. "In awe of the wonders of Rosings Park?" His green eyes twinkled merrily.

Lizzy gasped and stared wide-eyed.

Though his lips were clamped together, a grin forced its way through. "Would you perhaps be a part of the company staying at the parsonage? Mr. Collins's cousin, mayhaps?"

Unsure of what to make of this peculiar fellow, she merely nodded.

Doffing his hand again, he bowed deeply. "Pleased to make you acquaintance, madam. Mr. Clark at your service. I am your cousin's humble curate."

"A pleasure to make you acquaintance." Her throat felt packed with cotton wool, her voice strained. "I had no idea he had a curate in his employ."

"I was just on my way to call upon the parsonage. May I escort you that way?"

She retreated a small step. "Thank you, no, sir, I have only just come from there."

"Taking a turn around the grounds then?"

She licked her lips and nodded.

"Would you permit me to show you around?" He offered her his arm.

Peering at him, a small smile crept across face. _ He is a roe deer, a chevreuil, complete with that funny little mustache, an unassuming creature hiding here in the woods. "_Should I understand that Lady Catherine does not approve of ladies going about unescorted, especially if they have not been properly introduced to their escort?"

"Quite correct." He dipped his head. "But even in a place as lovely as Rosings Park, there are opportunities for dangers to be lurking to unsuspecting young ladies like yourself. One cannot be too careful, even when on a friendly estate."

"She has spies in these woods who would report me to her ladyship?" She drummed her gloved fingers along her other arm.

His eyes lost their sparkle and creases appeared around his lips. "I am afraid that is more true than you know." He shuffled a bit, looking down at his feet. Glancing over his shoulder, he dropped his voice saying, "Many curry her ladyship's favor by reporting on those who do not adhere to her directives. Such gossip is a powerful force in a place such as Rosings. Please allow me to walk with you. I know many of the most interesting sports in the park. A good number of them are nearby."

She watched him wring his hands, her belly knotting with his tension. "Thank you sir, I would appreciate your company."

He offered his arm again, relief in his eyes. "You are a great admirer of nature, madam?"

"I find it a great source of comfort, sir."

For the next half hour, he narrated a tour of the grounds around the parsonage and churchyard. In spite of her growing unease, Lizzy enjoyed the anecdotes he shared. "You must take the opportunity to become acquainted with Sir William Lucas. He has quite as many tales of Meryton and Herdfordshire as you do of Rosings Park."

"I am glad to know I have pleased you. Begging your pardon, but you looked quite troubled when I first saw you."

She played with her bonnet strings. "I have not been to Kent before. It is more different from my home than I had imagined."

"Do not judge us all too quickly, though I understand the temptation to do so. While you may find this parish different and some of it denizens difficult," the corner of his lips lifted in a half smile, "there is good here, too. I am certain a clever girl like you will be able to find it." He knocked on the parsonage door.

1 Japanned: ordained, to put on black, the color of japanware.


	23. Chapter 23

Ch 23

The next morning, Lizzy followed Charlotte into the family pew of church while Mr. Collins made his way to a screened off section at the other side.

"What is that?" Lizzy asked, staring at the elaborately carved wooden screens that shielded several pews.

"Lady Catherine does not want her presence to be a distraction to those who ought to be listening to the sermons," Charlotte whispered in her ear.

"How singular." _ And how incredibly arrogant… _She rubbed her lips with her knuckles. …_or perhaps thoughtful? There is no doubt that she and her daughter would be the source of many untoward stares. Surely they do not like to be stared at. Mr. Darcy has expressed his dislike of London for that reason. _She sighed. _ I am far too ready to believe badly of them and I have not even met them yet. Even if I cannot believe Mr. Collins effusions, Charlotte speaks well of her as does Mr. Clark. Papa would be disappointed with my rush to judgment. I must improve my attitude. _

Several minutes later, Mr. Clark approached the front of the church and service began. At first Lizzy was surprised that Mr. Clark was preaching, surely Lady Catherine would rather have had her vicar, not the curate teach. Listening to him, she had to grudgingly admit her estimation of Lady Catherine improved. Mr. Clark was, without a doubt a much more pleasing man to listen to, and she confessed to herself, he even seemed to believe in what he was saying. _ I wonder if Lady Catherine directed his sermon for him. Somehow I feel certain she could not have allowed anything to pass scrutinized with in her realm. _

After the final "amen," the De Bourghs filed out first. Miss De Bourgh stayed between Lady Catherine and Mrs. Jenkins, her head down, face obscured by her bonnet as she hurried out the door, pausing only briefly to acknowledge the vicar and curate.

_I have heard of girls so shy, but still… _Lizzy shook her head sharply and turned away when she realized she had been staring. She followed Charlotte out of the church, pausing at the door for Charlotte to make introductions. Lady Catherine blinked at her briefly as she passed. From the corner of her eyes, she saw the phaeton, driven by Mrs. Jenkins hurry away. "She seems in a great hurry to leave," she whispered, leaning close to Charlotte.

"Miss De Bourgh is very uncomfortable in such large groups, so does not stay after service. That has been her habit for quite some time, and no one expects her greetings." Charlotte smiled at an ample woman whose hat sported an entire bird. "Mrs. Whittles, what a pleasure it is to see you this morning. My I introduce my friend…"

Scarcely anything was talked of the remainder day but their impending visit to Rosings. Mr. Collins was carefully instructing them in what they were to expect lest the sight of such rooms, so many servants, and so splendid a dinner wholly overpower them. Lizzy felt certain that the mere stateliness of money and rank she expected to witness would not overwhelm her senses. She quickly tired of his verbosity and was happy for the moment when the ladies separated for their toilette.

On the way to the stairs, Mr. Collins pulled Lizzy aside. "I have noticed, Cousin, you have suffered from a number of headaches since you have been with us." His heavy brows crowded low over his eyes.

"Yes, sir, it seems that I have." Lizzy tried to edge past him, but he placed his foot on the next step up effectively blocking her way.

"Will you be well tonight? Lady Catherine will be most displeased if you become indisposed during our visit. Fortunately, my dear Charlotte does not suffer from such weaknesses as her ladyship in her great wisdom, considers such complaints a female affectation of which she has little tolerance. If you feel you will be overcome tonight, perhaps it would be best for you to remain here at the parsonage. I will be most happy to explain your absence, and you need not fear her disapprobation for she is a paragon of Christian mercy and will not hold your absence against you. "

Lizzy straightened her back, lifting her chin. "Thank you for your concern, sir. I assure you, I am quite well." She hurried up the stairs biting her tongue painfully along the way.

As the weather was fine, they had a pleasing walk of about half a mile across the park. Mr. Clark's tales from the day before allowed Lizzy to become lost in her own thoughts and ignore Mr. Collins enumerating the windows at the front of the house and their original cost to Sir Lewis De Bourgh.

"You seem quite distracted," Charlotte observed as she lingered back behind the men.

"I suppose I was a little. Pray forgive me, I promise I will be more attentive." Lizzy sighed. "Do you, too, fear I will embarrass you tonight?"

"Certainly not. That is not to say I do not fear discomfiture this evening, only that I do not believe it will come from your quarters." Charlotte frowned slightly as her eyes wandered to her father and husband.

When they ascended the many steps up to the front door, even Sir William lost his calm demeanor, though Charlotte smiled and tried to encourage both Maria and him.

Lizzy struggled not to roll her eyes and offer a biting remark. _It is a house and nothing more, grand though it may be! You would think we were being ushered into the throne room of heaven itself. _

A liveried servant greeted them in the foyer and brought them to a richly appointed room. Lady Catherine awaited their arrival in an elaborated gilded chair reminding Lizzy of nothing so much as a throne. She rose slowly form her perch, turning somberly to Charlotte.

Charlotte curtsied deeply, "Lady Catherine, may I present my father, Sir William Lucas."

He bowed deeply, but found himself so awed by the grandeur of his setting that he could not utter the speech he had so carefully rehearsed. Instead, he took his seat, his brow glittering with a faint sheen of perspiration.

"—my sister, Miss Maria Lucas—"

Maria, very pale and trembling, managed not to lose her balance as she curtsied. She tried to stammer something, but failed and hurried to sit beside her father. From the safety of the settee, her eyes daring around the room, moving from one treasure to the next, her mouth formed in a little round 'o' of wonder.

"—and my friend, Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn."

She managed a curtsey with complete aplomb, losing no color in her cheeks as she took in the great lady. _Her nose is not nearly so large as I expected it to be. _

Charlotte stepped back and indicated Lizzy should sit beside her.

Collins took the opportunity to rush forward. "Lady Catherine, we cannot express enough the depth of our gratitude at your most magnanimous generosity in extending…"

Lizzy's eyes wandered about the room, from one fine piece of furniture to an elegant tapestry on the walls. Eventually she noticed a tiny mouse house in the baseboard beneath a fine chest of drawers. A pink nose and tiny whiskers poked out for just a moment, then darted back into the darkness. She pressed her lips tightly together and struggled not to laugh.

"You seem quite amused, Miss Elizabeth Bennet." Lady Catherine stared down her nose.

Lizzy swallowed and blinked. "No indeed, madam." She felt Collins's eyes upon her. "I was merely taking in the very excellent taste with which this room was furnished."

"What in particular has garnered your notice?" Lady Catherine cocked an eyebrow.

Lizzy smiled slightly at her now pale cousin, then addressed her hostess, "I was admiring the roses so delicately painted along the ceiling above us."

"And do you know their significance?"

Collins opened his mouth to speak, but Lizzy cut him off.

"The rose is said to be sacred to Harpocrates, the god of silence It is often placed in the ceilings of rooms destined for the receiving of guests," she turned to her cousin with a wry smile, "implying that whatever is transacted there should not be made public."

Collins cheeks flushed and he drew in a sharp breath. A small quiver coursed through Charlotte as she tried to suppress a giggle.

Although her expression remained neutral, Lizzy thought she might have seen a flicker of amusement in Lady Catherine's eyes. "I am pleased to see you have refinement enough to recognize the finer things when you are presented with them. There are so many young people today," she cast a sidelong glance at Collins, "are unable to tell the difference between the gauche and true refinement."

Maria gasped and turned to her father. Sir William only shrugged, his eyes wide.

"Your ladyship is of course an expert…" Collins leaned forward.

Lady Catherine waved him down. "Yes, yes," she turned back to Charlotte . "Your friend seems like a very genteel, pretty sort of girl, Mrs. Collins. You said you have known her all your life."

"Indeed, I have." Charlotte nodded.

"Her family is well respected in our fine community." Sir William edged closer, the glimmer in his eyes suggested he was pleased to finally have something to say.

"Her father is the principal land holder in Herdfordshire?"

"No, madam," Lizzy replied. "There are a few others with estates of the same size— three, I believe. But their estates are not so near to Meryton that we enjoy easy society with them. We only meet a few times a year."

"Really, I am surprised. I imagine you often host dinners and balls at Longbourn?"

"No, madam, we do not."

"You must understand—" Collins interjected.

Lizzy huffed and cleared her throat loudly. "My mother passed five years ago. My father still mourns her loss and does not prefer to keep company in large groups. We do not host large gatherings. But we do often enjoy the company of our nearer neighbors."

"I understood from Mr. Collins that you had many sisters."

"There are five of us."

"Five? That is quite an inconsiderate number of girls for your mother to have delivered to your father. She should have borne him an heir."

_As you did for Sir Lewis? _Lizzy's cheeks burned. "Really, I do think it quite a burden that it should be considered the mother's fault that the offspring are not of the socially desired gender, do you not, madam? As I recall you yourself gave birth to a girl."

Collins turned white and clutched his chest.

"Upon my word, you give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person. Pray, what is your age?'' Although Lizzy could not be certain, she thought that one corner of Lady Catherine's lips twitched upwards.

"With three younger sisters nearly grown up, and none of the elder yet married, your ladyship can hardly expect me to own it.''

Lady Catherine seemed quite astonished at not receiving a direct answer. "You cannot be more than twenty, I am sure; therefore, you need not conceal your age.''

"I am not one and twenty.'' Elizabeth suspected herself to be the first creature who had ever dared meet the lady's dignified impertinence in equal measure.

"That is a very sensible age to be; there is no need to prevaricate regarding that."

"I am glad that it meets your approval." Lizzy glanced at Charlotte, who turned away to stifle a wayward giggle.

"Has your governess left you? Though if you have no mother in your house, I can hardly imagine you being without—"

"We never had any governess."

"No governess! How was that possible?" Lady Catherine rose halfway in her seat to glare down at her audience. "Five daughters brought up at home without a governess! I never heard of such a thing. Your mother must have been quite a slave to your education while she lived."

"She was very attentive to our education. She was quite adamant about the skills an accomplished lady of our sphere should acquire."

Collins drew a breath, but Charlotte shot him a warning glance.

"All of the Bennet sisters are quite accomplished—" William tried to join the conversation.

"Had I known your mother, I should have advised her most strenuously to engage a governess." She eased back down into her chair, the fine silk of her gown crinkling softly as she sat. "I always say that nothing is to be done in education without steady and regular instruction, and nobody but a governess can give it."

"Indeed, my lady, such wonderful advice should not be disregarded…"

This time, Lizzy was certain she saw Lady Catherine roll her eyes. "It is wonderful how many families I have been the means of supplying in that way. I am always glad to get a young person well placed out. Four nieces of Mrs. Jenkinson are most delightfully situated through my means, and it was but the other day that I recommended another young person, who was merely accidentally mentioned to me, and the family are quite delighted with her." Without pausing for breath she turned to Charlotte. "Did I tell you of Lady Metcalfe's calling yesterday to thank me? She finds Miss Pope a treasure. 'Lady Catherine,' said she, 'you have given me a treasure.'"

_You would so freely recommend someone that you do not even know? Perhaps your advice is not so sage as everyone here seems to believe. _

She turned back to Lizzy. "Do you play and sing, Miss Bennet?''

"A little."_ But having no intention of becoming a governess myself, I found it more profitable to study my sums instead. _

"Oh! then some time or other we shall be happy to hear you. Our instrument is a capital one, probably superior to – You shall try it someday. Mrs. Collins is able to make quite passable music on it despite her inferior instruction."

Charlotte grimaced, but quickly recovered her tight smile.

"Do your sisters play and sing?''

"One of them does. Our middle sister had the greatest interest in all of us in performing. She has recently become accomplished enough that she is often requested to play in company."

"Why did not you all learn? You ought all to have learned. The Miss Webbs all play, as Mrs. Collins has heard from herself. Their father has not so good an income as yours."

Lizzy scowled and gritted her teeth. _What exactly would you know of my father's income and how would you have come to that knowledge? Does Mr. Collins have no discretion…what am I thinking? I know he does not! _

"Do you draw?''

"No, not at all.''

"What, none of you?''

"Not one. It is not a skill highly valued by my father."

Maria coughed loudly, her brows knit in distress.

"That is very strange. But I suppose you had no opportunity. Your mother should have taken you to town every spring for the benefit of masters.'' Lady Catherine leaned back, tapping her fingers together, her brows drawn together over deep-set eyes.

"My mother would have had no objection, but my father does not prefer to travel extended distances. His health does not permit him the luxury of much travel.''

"But it is a sacrifice he should have made…"

"Yes, there is a great deal to be benefitted by travel to London for the season. But really, Ma'am, I think quite a difficult thing to insist that the only way a young woman may be accomplished is to be instructed in London or that the only accomplishments appropriate for a young woman are those which are defined by London society."

"And what accomplishments would _you _consider necessary for a young woman?"

"Will we be graced with the company of your lovely daughter tonight?" Collins asked suddenly a little breathless.

Lady Catherine turned away from Collins and looked from Lizzy, to Maria and Sir William, then finally to Charlotte. In a very soft voice she asked, "What you have told me of Mr. Bennet is true?"

Lizzy's brows shot up, and she stared pointedly at her friend.

Charlotte nodded somberly.

Lady Catherine reached across a small table and rang a silver bell. A servant appeared in the doorway. She waved toward the stairs then curled her fingers toward herself. The man bowed and hurried away.

The party waited in silence for several moments, then Mrs. Jenkins appeared at the door. "Your ladyship?"

"Come in, Mrs. Jenkins, Anne."

As Mrs. Jenkins entered, the party rose. Behind her, Anne De Bourgh slowly entered, turning her face, no longer hidden by a large hat brim, toward them.

Lizzy gasped more loudly than she realized when she recognized the blank expression in Anne's eyes—she was completely blind! Without a thought, Lizzy's feet carried her to Anne's side.

Collins stepped forward, but Lady Catherine held him off. "The Collinses have brought their company tonight, the young woman who approaches—"

"I am Miss Elizabeth Bennet," Lizzy interrupted.

Anne turned toward the voice, her brows lifted high, her lips parted. "You are not shouting. Everyone shouts at me when they are introduced."

"Well, that makes precious little sense does it not, for your ears work perfectly well; it is your eyes that do not." She smiled and dipped in a deep, perfect curtsey. "And if you could see me, you would know that I am making you a very pretty curtsey in honor of our acquaintance."

Collins and Anne gasped, then the room became silent, the only noise, the skittering of the dormouse into its hole.


	24. Chapter 24

Ch 24

Anne faced Lizzy, astonishment clear on her face. Lady Catherine's jaw gaped, her expression unreadable.

"Please, Lady Catherine," Collins stammered, panic in his eyes.

Anne began to giggle, and then laughed into her hands.

"You must forgive—"

"Do be quiet!" Lady Catherine waved wildly, leaning far forward trying to hear her daughter.

Anne finally quieted enough to extend her hand to Lizzy who took it quickly. "Then what Mrs. Collins has told me is true?"

"What has she told you?" Lizzy took her hand and stepped toward her.

"That your father—"

"Indeed he is. He has been since a hunting accident ten years ago."

Mrs. Jenkins turned to Lady Catherine, a look of wonder in her eyes. Lady Catherine beckoned her to come away from the young ladies.

"I have been told he is a remarkable man."

"He is a rather normal man, I suppose, with hand and arms and legs enough for himself." She shrugged with a small laugh.

Anne tittered and pulled Lizzy toward a couch. "Come, tell me about him."

Lizzy sat down beside her. "What would you have me tell? As I said, he is quite a normal man, at least as normal as a father of five daughters can be said to be."

"Miss Bennet!" Anne smoothed her skirts, trying to fight back the broad smile that kept breaking through.

"He manages his estate, raises his daughters, enjoys the society of his neighbors and his books, and plays chess. What of this is remarkable for a gentleman?" Lizzy noticed Collins's glare out of the corner of her eye. She fought back the anger that threatened the edges of her consciousness. _ I must keep that to myself. If she is anything like my father, she will immediately hear it and I do not wish her to think my discomfiture is for her. But how could he? Why did he not tell me? And how could he say those things about my father— _

"But if he is as Mrs. Collins has told me—"

"What of it? Why should that stop him from enjoying the fruits of a very normal existence?" She grimaced hearing her voice come out sharper than she desired.

Anne started to answer but stopped before she spoke a word, fingering the fabric of her skirt. She stroked her cheek with her knuckles and turned her face down, brows knotting and releasing.

Across the room, Lady Catherine watched the exchange closely.

"Your ladyship," Collins whispered loud enough for Lizzy to hear, "please, in your great condescension, I beg of you to overlook my cousin's impertinence. I will escort her back to the parsonage immediately—"

"You will do no such thing, Collins." Her eyes did not leave her daughter. "I am not displeased."

Finally Anne raised her face and crossed her arms over her chest, her lips pulling in a deep frown. "You cannot be serious! What you claim is not possible."

"Well, I confess, my sisters and I read to him in turn, but he still selects the books himself."

"How can he possibly manage his estate or play chess or do any of the things you claim when he has suffered the losses he has? You are toying with me, Miss Bennet, and I will not have it. Either you are being deceitful that he is as I—"

"You will find, Miss De Bourgh," Lizzy's voice turned cold and she matched Anne's tense posture, "I am known for my forthright character. Prevarication is not in my nature, and I take great offence at your insinuations."

"I will have none of your cheek here. Do you know who you are—"

"That is not the material matter here. You are the one who has accused me of dishonesty and thus cast a shade on my character! I am the injured party here, not you."

"How dare you!"

"Be assured everything I have told you is the whole truth. My father does all the things I have claimed, and he is quite effective at all of it. You may ask Sir William or Miss Collins to verify my statements. Miss Collins is a great friend of my younger sisters and spends much time at our home. She is very familiar with my father."

Sir William pushed himself up from his seat and slowly approached Anne and Lizzy.

"Sir William Lucas approaches on your right. In addition to being Mrs. Collins's father, he is the mayor of Meryton and a good friend to my family. He was present in the hunting party when my father's accident occurred," Lizzy explained, her foot twitching underneath her skirts.

"Indeed I was, Miss De Bourgh." Sir William bowed. "I was witness to the accident myself. None of us expected him to live, much less thrive. Unlike what others might say," he glanced at Collins over his shoulder, "those of us who know him consider him to be a greatly blessed man. In his company, it is quite easy to forget his…condition. He is a most amiable gentleman. What Miss Bennet has told you is entirely true."

"Miss Lucas stands beside her father and is waiting permission to speak," Lizzy said softly.

Anne nodded, vaguely turning toward Maria.

"Please, Miss De Bourgh, do not think Lizzy is trying to make sport of you. Her father …it is all as she says…truly…if you only knew Lizzy, you would understand that she is always truthful and would never, ever try to take advantage…of anyone."

Across the room, Collins's face turned crimson. "Control your family, Mrs. Collins!"

Charlotte rose, only to be caught by Lady Catherine's hand. "Stay. Do not interfere." She glowered at Collins. "If I have to say that once more, I shall ask you to leave, sir. Do you not understand a simple command?"

Lizzy glanced at their brief exchange, but quickly turned back to Anne.

Anne bowed her head, swaying slightly. When she finally stopped, she turned back toward the Lucases. "Please sit, tell me about your acquaintance with the Bennet family."

Sir William needed no further encouragement. He deposited himself on a nearby ottoman and launched into storytelling. Anne listened but continued to protest her astonishment until Lady Catherine declared it was time for dinner.

Maria gasped and clutched Lizzy's arm when they entered the finely appointed dining room. Candlelight seemed to glitter off every surface. Lizzy was certain the table should be buckling under the array of dishes presented before them. "She must expect to be feeding an army," Lizzy whispered. "Or her servants will eat exceedingly well tonight."

Maria quivered as she tried to contain her laughter. "Stop it! You are too wicked!"

"I am not wicked, just forthright. I can only speak the truth…" Though she clamped her lips tight, Lizzy's grin could not be contained until Collins glared at her.

Collins took his seat at the bottom of the table, by her ladyship's desire, and looked as if he felt that life could furnish nothing greater, though his expression became dark whenever he looked toward his cousin. He carved, and ate, and praised with delighted alacrity; and every dish was commended, first by him, and then by Sir William, who echoed whatever his son in law said, in a manner which Elizabeth wondered Lady Catherine could bear.

Lady Catherine seemed gratified by their excessive admiration and gave her most gracious smiles, especially when any dish on the table proved a novelty to them. Despite her pleasure at her guests' effusions, her eyes kept wandering toward Anne who sat between Lizzy and Mrs. Jenkins.

Lizzy leaned toward Anne and whispered, "What Sir William means to say is that he had no idea that the feet of a bird sticking through a pie crust could be such an appealing addition to the dining table."

Immediately Anne began to choke, gulping large quantities of water to soothe her malady, then she began to giggle like a schoolgirl. "You must not say such things."

"What you mean to say is that my impudence might prove too shocking for your mother to handle, and I might cause her to suffer an apoplexy here at the table."

Anne bit her lip and struggled to control herself, but soon gave in and laughed whole-heartedly until tears ran down her cheeks.

From the head of the table, Lady Catherine stared, her eyes misting. Collins drew a breath, but instantly, she turned a cold glare on him, and he backed down. Collins leaned back in his seat, sneaking angry furtive glances across the table at Lizzy.

"It already appears that my cousin is about to suffer one," Lizzy whispered through the side of her mouth while staring at her plate.

Charlotte snorted, trembling with the effort of remaining silent. Finally she choked out, "The catsup is particularly tasty with the pork cutlets tonight, madam."

"Mrs. Collins," Lady Catherine cleared her throat, "When you open a bottle of catsup, essence of anchovy, or the like, be certain to throw away the old cork, and stop it closely with a new cork that will fit very tight. To be sure, economy in corks is very unwise; in order to save a mere trifle in the price of a cork, you risk losing the valuable article it is intended to preserve. That is not an example of frugality, only foolishness."

"Yes, of course." Charlotte nodded vigorously, keeping her eyes well away from Lizzy.

"Use only the best superfine velvet taper corks. But be sure the cork is of the right size for the bottle. It is a vulgar error indeed when the cork is placed even with the mouth of it; this is a sure sign that the cork is too small, and a larger one needs be put in. The herbalist, Mr. Franks has the best corks in Kent. Do not buy from any but him or I shall be most displeased."

"I shall remember that, madam."

Quietly setting down her fork, Lady Catherine asked, "And how do you find the calves foot jelly this evening, Miss Bennet?"

Lizzy kept her eyes down to avoid revealing her girlish grin. "It is exceptional. Our cook does not produce one of this quality.

"The secret is in the jelly bags. You must tell your cook that care should be taken to make sure they are perfectly scalded and kept dry lest they give an unpleasant flavor when next used."

"I shall be certain to instruct her so when I return home." Lizzy snuck a look at Charlotte, and they both struggled against their merriment.

Lady Catherine began speaking to Sir William. Anne leaned to Lizzy, whispering, "That is to say you will do no such thing as you do not prefer the dish yourself."

Lizzy choked back a laugh. "How you would know that?"

"Calves foot jelly makes a very distinct squish when you sink a utensil into it. I have not heard such a sound from your plate; thus, you have not tasted the bit that wound up on your plate."

"And you doubt my father's abilities! I think you are capable of far more than you might imagine."

Anne blushed and hid her face in her napkin.

After dinner, the ladies withdrew to the drawing room. Anne became subdued, her former good humor evaporating. After she had remained quiet for too many minutes, Lizzy whispered into her ear, "One would think that you are very distraught to be without my cousin's charming discourse."

Anne turned away. "You will excuse me, Miss Bennet, it is time for me to retire."

"But what will I do without your company? Surely there is none other here who can bear so well with my unladylike sense of humor."

Mrs. Jenkins leaned in close, "Lady Catherine prefers to play cards after dinner, and it pains Miss De Bourgh to be left out of the amusements."

"Why ever would you be left out?" Lizzy scrunched her brows and stared at Anne.

"Do not trifle with me!" Anne's voice was thin.

"I am not trifling with you, and you will find, Miss De Bourgh, that I am in the habit of trifling with no one. I told you this before and would suggest for the sake of our acquaintance you remember that."

Mrs. Jenkins blanched and scooted back while Anne breathed deeply and rubbed the back of her neck.

"I merely express my genuine surprise that a young lady like yourself would be willing to miss out on such an amiable pastime when it is quite within your grasp to engage in it."

"How exactly would that be, Miss Bennet? As I seem to recall, one must be able to recognize the cards in order to play." She folded her arms tightly across her chest.

"That is easily enough overcome. For tonight, I shall play with you and read you the cards. When we are in the company of others that is how my father plays cards. Later, if you enjoy the pastime, I can help you construct a deck that you can read for yourself."

"And just how might that be accomplished?"

"I melted a wax candle and traced the suit and number of each card in wax so that he could feel the marks on the cards, but they did not show through to other players. He is able to identify the cards in his hands. Occasionally I need to re-mark the cards, when the wax has worn away, but it serves him very well."

Anne blinked several time, her shoulders relaxing. Her head cocked, and she chewed her lower lip. "What a singular idea."

"It truly is." Mrs. Jenkins brightened notably. "We have several decks of cards in the drawing room and candles a plenty…"

"You see then, it is quite possible. I insist you stay, for at least a few hands tonight. You may surprise yourself at how much you enjoy it."

Mrs. Jenkins looked from Lizzy to Anne, holding her breath, waiting.

Anne drew another deep breath. "I must admit I am intrigued, Miss Bennet. I suppose it would not hurt to attempt a rubber or two."

"I am delighted by your faith in me." Lizzy smiled broadly.

When the gentlemen had joined them, the card tables were placed. Lizzy took Anne's elbow and guided her toward the tables as Mrs. Jenkins and Lady Catherine stared. Lizzy seated Anne then pulled an additional chair over for herself. Collin's glared at her as she moved the furniture, but Lady Catherine appeared intrigued.

"Do you mean to play, Miss Bennet?"

"No, madam, Anne will be playing tonight." Lizzy sat down.

Lady Catherine swallowed hard, an odd expression crossing her face. Sir William and Charlotte filled out the table for quadrille. Lady Catherine dealt the cards with one eye clearly on Lizzy.

Lizzy reached out and formed the hand, but then pressed the cards into Anne's hands. Lizzy leaned very close to her ear and whispered, "I have arranged the cards for you, the highest on the leftmost side."

Anne's face creased in concentration as Lizzy named the cards.

"Do not fear, I can remind you as needed." Lizzy nodded to Sir William. "You have played with my father this way many times—"

"Indeed, I have, Miss Elizabeth, and have found him a most formidable player." He laughed and began the play.

Lizzy notated the passage of the cards from hands to table and included other quiet observations as well. "Mrs. Collins is smiling, just a bit, and tapping her right index finger on the table."

"Did she not do that…" Anne whispered back.

"I believe that she did." Lizzy nodded with a wry grin.

Anne smiled broadly and made a bold play. Several rounds later, she was declared the winner. Anne dropped her cards and clapped with an excited squeal. "Oh, Miss Bennet! May we please play another?"

Lizzy turned to Lady Catherine. "Madam, would you care for another hand?"

It took her an uncharacteristically long time to answer. "I would indeed."

After several more hands, Maria and Mrs. Jenkins took Sir William and Charlotte's places at the table. Anne's enthusiasm had not abated nor had Lizzy's good humor, so the rubbers continued.

Mr. Collins pulled Charlotte aside at the far side of the room. "I am mortified, Mrs. Collins, simply mortified. My cousin's behavior tonight has been nothing short of boorish. Lady Catherine is bearing with it so generously, but I am quite certain that she cannot be in any way appreciating such a vulgar display. Even worse, Miss De Bourgh is being influenced to engage in my cousin's alarming ways. What I am to do? You must inform her that she is to leave us tomorrow."

"That is not possible, Mr. Collins. Arrangements cannot be made so quickly."

"Then we will send her home with your father when he goes at the end of the week. You will instruct her that she will not be included in any further invitations to Rosings. I cannot endure another exhibition like this one." He breathed heavily as she stared at the card table.

"I believe you concern is unfounded. If you will take just a moment to look, I have rarely seen Lady Catherine appear so pleased."

"You mistake her good breeding and excellent manners for acceptance of what must otherwise be considered entirely intolerable."

Charlotte's shoulders tensed. "It appears that she is walking this way, perhaps it would be best to ask her what she would like."

Collins looked up and saw the impending approach of his patroness. He began to stammer.

Lady Catherine lifted her hand to silence him, and she turned to Charlotte. "Mrs. Collins, what has happened here tonight is entirely unprecedented."

"I know, your ladyship…" Collins interrupted.

"You will bring yourself under better regulation, Mr. Collins. I do not wish to hear from you. When I do, I will address you."

Collins blanched and staggered a half step back.

"As I was saying, what I have seen tonight convinces me that something must be done about Miss Elizabeth Bennet."

Collins nodded vigorously, scowling at Charlotte. "I was just telling…" A sharp look from the lady silenced him.

"My daughter requires her companionship more than you do, Mrs. Collins. I insist that she be moved to the house here; I have guest rooms being made up for her as we speak. When I call the carriage for your party, I will send a servant with you to retrieve her things. She will stay here for the remainder of her time in Kent."

Charlotte did a double take but managed to reply, "Yes madam. I am grateful for the honor you do my friend."

"As you should be. I shall inform Miss Bennet of the arrangement." She turned briskly and returned to the card table.

Collins could only stare at her back, his mouth working but no sounds forthcoming.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Several hours later, the Collinses and Lucases departed in Lady Catherine's carriage. Lizzy watched the carriage pull away, her foot tapping impatiently on the elegant carpet in Lady Catherine's personal study. She turned away from the window and stalked the length of the room, muttering under her breath. The gaudy, overstated décor weighed down the atmosphere, adding to her discomfiture. Then the bookcases caught her attention. As she perused them she found a surprising wealth of timely and useful volumes.

_She must study a great deal. _Lizzy pulled a tome off the shelf and thumbed through it. Behind her, she heard the door open and the rustle of a large amount of fabric. She listened but did not turn.

"Miss Bennet…"

"Yes, Lady Catherine." She lifted the book slightly higher and traced a line with her fingertip.

"You will face me when you are addressed."

"Excuse me?" Lizzy slammed the book. "I am neither your tenant nor one of your servants to jump and obey your orders, madam." She slid the book onto the shelf with more force than necessary. She heard strong footsteps approach. Taffeta swooshed nearby.

"You can be in no question as to why I have called you to this meeting."

"Indeed? In fact, I have no idea why you have sent my friends away and kept me here, waiting for this last half hour. I am simply grateful that the parsonage is only half a mile from here for I was just about to return there myself." She slowly turned to find herself nose to nose with her hostess.

"Walk? Alone at night?" Lady Catherine inched back.

"Since I am not able to fly, walking does seem to be the most expedient method and as I am unable to command the sun, I have little option but accept the darkness."

"How dare you—"

"How dare you!" Lizzy leaned closer. "I am not your prisoner. You cannot keep me here against my will and I assure you this abominably rude wait is entirely against my will."

"I am not accustomed to being spoken to in such a manner."

"And I am not accustomed to being treated with such rude presumption."

Lady Catherine harrumphed.

"I suppose then, in our offense we are equals." Lizzy stared at her and they glared at each other in a stalemate of wills.

A slow smile spread across Lady Catherine's face. She began to laugh, a strange wheezing cackle that took Lizzy imagination back to the hen house. "Please, Miss Bennet, will you sit with me?" She gestured toward a pair of overstuffed chairs.

Lizzy nodded and took a seat near Lady Catherine. "To what do I owe this unprecedented audience?"

"I have been watching you and I have concluded you are a fitting companion for my daughter." Lady Catherine's hands rested lightly on the arms of the chair as she nodded condescendingly.

"Companion?"

"Yes, companion—"

Lizzy's face flushed and her eyes widened. "Begging your pardon, madam, but I am a gentlewoman and despite my father's hardship we are doing quite well. I am by no means looking to take a position in service. How dare you reduce me in your eyes to a servant? Even if I were so desperate as to be—"

"Silence Miss Bennet!"

"No, madam." Lizzy rose and crossed her arms over her chest. "How can you expect me to be silent in the face of the insult you have just delivered not only to me but to my entire family?"

"Calm yourself young woman—"

"Only to give you opportunity to further degrade my person? What fault will you find next? My dress or perhaps my study of algebra? Both I am certain are equal faults in your eyes."

Lady Catherine rose, mouth agape. She met Lizzy's eyes, but the younger woman would not give way.

"I beg you importune me no further. I shall return to my friends." Lizzy hurried for the door.

"Stop!" Lady Catherine rushed after her, her voice booming in the small room. "Please Miss Bennet," she added more quietly.

Lizzy paused and turned, surprised by Lady Catherine's softened expression.

"You have misunderstood me. Would you please sit and allow me to explain?"

Though her ire was still high, Lizzy studied Lady Catherine's eyes only to find a surprising sincerity in them. She frowned at the compulsion she felt to give the woman a chance. Finally she nodded and followed Lady Catherine back to the chairs near the fireplace.

Lady Catherine stared into the fire for several long moments before she turned back to Lizzy. "I am not seeking a lady's companion for Anne. Mrs. Jenkins already serves us in that capacity. I am not offering you a position in our service."

Lizzy nodded, some of the tension draining from her shoulders.

"During this brief evening in your company, Anne has improved significantly. It has been many years since I have seen her spirits so high. In truth, I never thought to see her in such good humor again." Her eyes misted over. "Mrs. Collins told me of you and firmly believed that you would be good for Anne. I did not believe anything so drastic could be affected so quickly. I gave her leave to write for you to come."

"So Charlotte's invitation—" Lizzy scowled, her hands tightening into fists.

"Was a sincere one. Be assured of that. I admit to being curious to see if her prognostications might prove correct. And they were." The corners of Lady Catherine's thin lips lifted slightly. "I hope to see many continued improvements."

"Then will you explain how it is you believe you will curry a favor from me when in every way you have managed to insult my family, my home and my person?" Lizzy wondered if the sound of her grinding teeth carried to Lady Catherine's ears.

"I merely state the truth Miss Bennet."

"Truth, though it may be in your eyes, I find it offensive. You are the last person to whom I would consider granting the time of day, much less the favor of my companionship. I came here to visit with my dear friend Mrs. Collins. Unlike my cousin, I do not desire your condescension nor do I appreciate it. I would thank you to remove me from any further invitations during my stay at the parsonage." She jumped up. "You do not need to call someone to show me to the door. I am quite certain I can let myself out." Lizzy spun on her heel and stomped to the door, startled by the appearance of Anne on the threshold.

"Please, Miss Bennet," she said in a soft, plaintive voice. "Will you stay with me? I have not had a friend my own age, much less one to stay with me. I am …very lonely."

Lizzy looked at Anne and recognized the real sadness in her expression. For a moment Lydia's face flashed in her mind. _Why does Anne remind me of her so? It has always been so difficult to deny Lydia anything. _

"It would mean a great deal to me if you would stay," Anne whispered, a mix of hope and dread in her voice.

Lizzy sighed and shook her head. "As your _friend_ I will stay." She turned to Lady Catherine. "But not as a companion. I am not in your service I am gently born and if you will not recognize me as your daughter's equal by birth if not by consequence, I shall remove myself immediately."

"Your audacity is quite shocking." Lady Catherine glared and drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair.

"Then I shall bid you good evening and enjoy the blessing of the full moon to accompany me back to the parsonage." Lizzy curtsied and hurried past Anne.

"Wait!"

The strident command stopped her in her tracks though she cursed her feet's unconscious obedience. She heard the swirling of taffeta.

"Please, Miss Bennet," Lady Catherine's voice, close behind her, softened into something more pleading than commanding. "It shall be as you ask. I will have rooms prepared for you in the family wing, if you will accept my invitation."

"Please," Anne whispered.

Huffing, Lizzy turned. "I will accept your invitation to be your guest ." A wry expression lifted her lips. "I imagine you have already dispatched a servant to the parsonage for my things."

Anne giggled, trying to contain the sound with her hands.

"I see." Lizzy cocked her head. "Thank you for your consideration." Lizzy swore she saw relief across Lady Catherine's face.

Lizzy awoke surrounded by luxury she had never known before. A nearly silent scullery maid set a fire and scurried out. Though tempted to acknowledge the girl, she chose not to for fear of exciting her anxieties. It only took a few minutes for the room to grow comfortably warm. Lizzy pushed back the covers and wondered what she should do. The thought did not go very far before a young maid suddenly appeared.

The main curtsied. "I am Ruth ma'am. Lady Catherine assigned me to be your maid while you are here."

Lizzy struggled not to roll her eyes. "I see. She is a most thoughtful hostess."

"She is, Miss." Ruth turned to Lizzy's trunk that had been delivered late the previous night. "I have been in her service for these seven years now, since I was old enough to be a scullery maid."

Lizzy sat back and watched the girl lay out the things for her morning toilette forcing herself not to help.

"I was fortunate to take a position in her service. There is not so helpful or protective a mistress anywhere. None of the girls here fear for the menservants or the guests. It is an enviable post." Ruth gestured Lizzy to a chair at the dressing table and began to brush her thick hair. "Some say she is a proud, controlling woman, but I reckon that is because they did not like her being right so often."

Lizzy giggled.

"It is true, Miss." Ruth swept her hair into a simple chignon and pinned it expertly.

"It is lovely. How did you do that so easily? I can never get it up so quickly." She patted her hair admiringly.

"See, that is what I am talking about! T'was Lady Catherine who told me the right way to do it." Ruth set the brush down on the dressing table.

"She is a font of information—"

"Indeed she is, on every topic. It seems she knows nearly everything I reckon. There is nothing any of us have asked that she does not know. What's more, she welcomes us to come and seek her answers. Imagine that, a great lady like her takin' questions from servants."

"Truly?" Lizzy's eyebrows arched.

"And she is so generous to share with all of us though her time is in such great demand that her vicar must assist her."

"How singular."

"Indeed it is." Ruth turned to the closet. "That sign post* of hers followin' her around, writing down near everything you can imagine. I done never seen a man what could write so fast. His hand is mighty pretty to look at you see. I cannot read, you know, but I am learning."

"Learning to read?" Lizzy knew the surprise was evident in her voice.

"Indeed, the Lady is seeing we are all taught so that we can read those pretty lines her vicar writes. There be at least one person in each of the tenant houses now what can, you know."

"My goodness!"

"That way she does not have to visit to give her instructions." Ruth smiled and chuckled. "Now for a dress."

"Let me guess, Lady Catherine has chosen one for me?"

Ruth peeked out form the closet, a frock in hand. "She sent this one for you thinking that yours would need freshening from their packing. She feared that the gal at the parsonage would not know the right way to pack gowns." Ruth held up one of Lizzy's dresses from the trunk.

"That does look a bit travel worn." Lizzy laughed and examined the gown Ruth held out to her. "This is a very fine garment. It will be a pleasure to wear."

With Ruth's sure assistance, Lizzy soon twirled in the mirror, surprised at her own reflection.

"Lady Catherine was right, the color suits you very well, Miss." Ruth plucked at the sleeve and handed Lizzy a lace tucker.

Relying on Ruth's directions, she found her way to the morning room with only a few missteps. There she was met by the butler who informed her she should break her fast as she chose, her ladyship had already left the house on her morning calls and Miss de Bourgh would not likely rise for several hours. The ladyship's personal library was at her disposal if she so chose.

Lizzy hurried through her solitary breakfast and requested a servant show her the way to the library. Her brief glance at the vast collection on the previous night only whet her appetite. Though her father's library was extensive, it did not begin to compare to the collection boasted by Rosings Park. She scanned the shelves and quickly selected several likely volumes and made herself at home with them.

"So my collection meets your approval?"

Lizzy jumped at the unexpected sound. She was curled on the settee with her writing desk on her lap, taking copious notes from one of Lady Catherine's tomes.

"Cousin! How dare you—" Collins snapped, appearing over Lady Catherine's shoulder.

She turned on him, waving him back. "Mr. Collins, did I not dismiss you already? I have no further need of you today. Go and start copying those letters as I directed you."

"But my cousin—"

"Is exactly where I expected her to be, doing as I invited her to do. You will cease your interference with her immediately or you will not set foot in Rosings while she remains with me!" Her voice rose shrilly.

"Yes…yes…your Ladyship." He stammered, stepping backward as he bowed.

Lady Catherine entered the room and closed the door behind her loudly. Sighing heavily she trudged to her desk and removed a phial from her drawer and drank.

"Willow bark?" Lizzy asked.

"How?"

"The scent is quite unique and my father used it extensively at one time."

Lady Catherine pinched the bridge of her nose and sank into her chair. "That noddy gives me a most atrocious headache." She mopped her brow with a silk handkerchief.

Lizzy tittered. "My father said much the same thing within the first hours of his acquaintance. If he is so intolerable, though—"

"Why do I endure his presence?"

"Yes."

"You are a most forward young woman. You border on impertinent." Lady Catherine planted her elbows on her desk.

"I am accustomed to being mistress of Longbourn and running much of the estate myself. I have little time or patience for the prevarication polite society favors." Elizabeth shut the book she had been copying from.

"I like you Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Few have the backbone to stand up to me. I find it refreshing." She stoppered the phial and returned it to the drawer. "The answer to your question, I find Mr. Collins useful."

Lizzy snorted. "Forgive me, but I cannot fathom how that may be."

"He is a toad-eater for sure. But you might be surprised to know he is also an excellent secretary with a superior memory. His position as vicar affords him ready access to the households of the parish—"

"So that you might meddle in their affairs as you will." The words escaped before she could censor them, and she blushed.

"So that is what you think of me, a meddlesome old hen." Lady Catherine smiled wryly.

Lizzy looked away.

"Surely your honesty and courage are not going to fail you now, Miss Bennet."

"I find it difficult to consider how your intrusions into Charlotte's home might be considered anything but officious prying." Lizzy set her book aside and leaned forward on her knees.

"My intrusions? Of what do you speak?" Lady Catherine shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"She cannot move her own furniture to suit herself." Lizzy ticked points off on her fingers. "She lives in fear of a loose carpet tack lest she suffer a tongue lashing from her husband. Not to mention your insistence that my cousin strive for even greater effusions than he already accomplishes."

Lady Catherin half smiled and shook her head. "You do not recognize the source of all these requirements?"

"No I do not."

"Surely a clever girl like you should be able to work out something so very obvious." She balanced her chin on her fist.

Lizzy's forehead knit. "Anne?"

"Exactly. They are for her comfort so there is at least on house in the parish she can visit in safety and comfort."

"Does she not know how to walk on someone's arm? That would solve the problem just as simply with far less imposition upon the tenants of that house."

"Why should she lower herself to be guided by someone below her station? I would not hear of it. No, she deserves the consideration of all around her."

Lizzy schooled her face into something neutral. She held Lady Catherine's eyes and knew that argument on this point would be futile, for now. "What of the order you canceled at the butcher?"

"Do you know what Mrs. Collins ordered? " An amused expression played across her eyes. "Your friend is a good, sensible sort of girl, but with no experience in the running of a household. She had ordered so much meat it would surely go bad before it could have been eaten, despite the number of guests she was feeding. I am merely helping her extend the reach of her limited income by preventing waste."

"Without her consent."

"Sometimes those who need help do not know it."

"So it is your place to see they have it whether or not they want it." Lizzy stood and moved toward the desk.

"You do not approve."

"No, madam I do not. Despite being told by a number of Rosings' residents that you are a font of good advice and knowledge I do not approve of the way you force it upon everyone in your reach whether they desire it or not."

"You have not dealt with the lower classes. They are ignorant and do not know what is best for themselves." Lady Catherine waved her hand in a gesture of dismissal.

"My sisters and I regularly tend Lonbourne's tenants and I dare say I have had sufficient dealing with _that class _of people to decidedly disagree with you. Just because they do not make the choices you advise does not mean they are ignorant."

Silence filled the air. Lizzy could hear her own heartbeat and the scraping of a family of mice behind the wall.

"You think me high handed and overbearing." Lady Catherine stroked her chin.

"I do and it has done your daughter no good at all."

"That is precisely why you have been asked to stay here, Miss Bennet."

*sign post: slang for clergyman who is point the way for everyone but going nowhere himself.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Lady Catherine coughed softly and tugged at the high neck of her gown. "I am sorry to say, I have reached the same conclusion, Miss Bennet. I had convinced myself that all I have done to ease Anne's way was for her good." She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed her eyes.

"I do sympathize, madam. My mother was forever insisting my sisters and I _not_ do things for our father. We did not understand at the time, and I am afraid we thought her very cruel." Lizzy chuckled softly. "I believe he did, too, for all the complaining he did. It was only much later that we all began to see the value in her ways."

After one last brusque swipe to her face, Lady Catherine crushed the handkerchief in her hand and shoved it back into her pocket. "My daughter has voiced similar complaints to your father's, I imagine." She swallowed hard. "She was so very ill. I would have traded places with her if I could. Then, when the tide turned and she began to recover what joy there was quickly succumbed to grief over her losses.

"I suppose we were fortunate that she did not lose her hearing as well. But the loss of her sight was enough. And there was nothing I could do to stop it." Lady Catherine looked down at her empty hands. "Nothing. So I did everything I could for her. Then when I tried to encourage her to do things one her own, she voiced her misery so clearly."

"I know those complaints are not easy to listen to."

"No they are not, and until very recently, I purposed that my daughter should never have need to voice such a complaint again. She has been through enough, why should I demand more form her still?" She looked back up a t Lizzy. "Then, Mrs. Collins spoke to me of John Fielding, the blind magistrate who died more than ten years before you were born, and more currently, of your father and his remarkable, though less public, achievements." She looked away and rearranged knickknacks on the cluttered desk.

"And you began to wonder…"

"If perhaps I had kept Anne from accomplishments she might otherwise have achieved. I only wish to see her have the best life she can, given what has happen. The idea that I have interfered and made it more difficult than it should be is entirely insupportable."

"How do I fit into this?" Lizzy sat lightly on the edge of the desk, hurriedly catching the japanware letter holder she nearly overbalanced with her skirt.

"Last night I watched my daughter awaken under your tutelage."

Lizzy watched her face; the shadows playing across her eyes made her seem so old.

"She has not played cards since she was a very young child. I cannot remember the last time I heard her laugh as she did last night."

"That is a shame. My father enjoys such pass times regularly." Lizzy's hand drifted across the back of a black marble horse poised atop a stack of correspondence.

"I would like for Anne to as well. It is my hope that you might consent to stay with us and continue to help her to do so, at least for a little while."

Lizzy braced her hand on the desk and stared into her eyes. "There is something significant you are not telling me."

Lady Catherine's laugh sounded a bit like the bark of a coughing pug. "Mrs. Collins says your father often says such things. He must be a singular fellow."

"He has been called that, but he is usually correct." Lizzy crossed her arms over her chest and settled herself more firmly on corner of the desk. "What have you not told me?"

Lady Catherine sighed. "What I tell you now must be kept in strictest confidence. Do I have your promise?"

"I do not like secrets. They have an unfortunate tendency of hurting those who keep them."

"What would you know of such things? You are far too young to be acquainted with the need for secrets." Lady Catherine snorted and her lip curled.

Lizzy pressed her toes hard into the plush carpet and shook her head. "You underestimate me, Lady Catherine. If you think me of such mean understanding, then I doubt I can help you."

Shaking her head, the corners of her lips lifted. "I suppose you are right. Still I must ask you to trust my jugement in this matter. Anne is very like a child in many ways, and as such, there are things she is not prepared to hear. It is my hope that with your help, she might be prepared to hear them. Until then, I ask you to respect my need for secrecy."

Lizzy brushed her thumb across her lips. "I can see your point. All right."

"It has long been understood that Anne would marry her cousin. They recently fought because she said she would not leave Rosings after their marriage. He would not consent to leave his ancestral home."

"Miss de Bourgh has no pressing need to marry."

"As the heir to Rosings Park, no she does not. However, there are other concerns that do make it a most pressing need. I had thought there would be time to resolve these differences, but I fear, I no longer have that luxury. My physician informs me my heart is bad, and he believes I do not have very much time. I have had several attacks already. My staff has been instructed to keep the knowledge of them from Anne. But each one is worse and takes longer to recover from, and I fear I will not be able to keep that secret much longer."

A cold prickling sensation crossed Lizzy's face, her eyes falling to the cluttered desktop."You want me to ready her for that news?"

"I supposed, but there is more. I hope you might be able to work with Anne, give her the confidence to be able to leave Rosings and live elsewhere with her future husband."

"I might be able to teach her how to acquaint herself with an unfamiliar environment. I imagine her cousin is in possession of a large estate. I do not believe I could teach her all of the duties associated with being mistress of an estate. That would take far longer to accomplish even if she is inclined to learn them." Lizzy pushed off form the desk and paced slowly in front of Lady Catherine.

"I have no expectation of her fulfilling those duties. Do not trouble yourself with that. It will be enough for her to be able to feel comfortable away from her childhood home."

"And the gentleman does not object? He does not expect her to fulfill her responsibilities as a wife?"

"His objections are not relevant." Lady Catherine flicked the notion away with her fingertips.

"He may be able to employ others to accomplish many of those duties, but does not need an heir?"

Lady Catherine's eyes bulged, and her words strangled in her throat. "That is not appropriate—"

"I see it is not something you have spoken to her about. Have you spoken to the gentleman in question? Of those who would excuse his wife from the duties of running the estate, I think there are fewer still who would excuse them from that particular duty."

"You impertinent—"

"Realistic, practical, _country_ gentlewoman."

"Insolent, indelicate, immodest, unladylike—"

"If only I had learnt to be a proper and useless lady, you would not be asking for my assistance now, Lady Catherine." Lizzy planted her hands firmly on her hips and glared.

Lady Catherine huffed. "The gentleman's objections are a moot point. He owes us certain obligations. He will do his duty to his family."

"How does failing to produce an heir fulfill his duty to his family?"

"Enough on that point!" Lady Catherine snapped.

"But your daughter has no need to marry—"

"I must know that Anne will be cared for in the manner to which she is accustomed." Lady Catherine slapped her hands on her desk.

"You mean coddled and spoiled like an overgrown child? Why could she not stay in her home? Surely the estate can continue to support her."

"The estate is quite solvent, I assure you." Her eyes narrowed and face flushed. Lady Catherine panted slightly, her tone softening. "But I confess, I fear her being taken advantage of by an unscrupulous steward or solicitor."

"A guardian then?"

"Miss Bennet!" she pinching the bridge of her nose. "Please do not meddle in affairs which are not your concern. I ask only your assistance in preparing Anne. My decision has already been made."

_I wonder if the gentleman in question is so firmly decided._ Lizzy shook her head. "Even if I am willing, what you ask is not the work of days, but months, at best, and that only if she is a ready pupil. It is harvest time, and I do not wish to be from home for so long." She paused. "I do not feel comfortable being gone more than six weeks."

"Make it a full two months—"

"I am not your employee, Lady Catherine. I believe we have already had that discussion, I am your daughters friend, not her _companion_"

She huffed and frowned. Then her eyes brightened. "Make it a full two months, and I will have my solicitor amend my will. I will leave my personal library to you. Anne has no need of it, since she neither reads nor has any interest in being read to."

Lizzy gasped and glanced around the shelves at the vast wealth of print.

She stroked her chin and smiled thinly. "And I will calculate the cost of shipping it to your father's house and leave you that sum as well."

"My father would so enjoy—"

"Then I have your agreement, Miss Bennet?" Lady Catherine's eyebrows raised. "You are much needed here and your father has four other daughters to attend him."

Lizzy tore her eyes from the bookcases and faced her hostess, a sharp pinch in her chest. She cocked her head, trying to ignore the pain. "You understand Anne's progress is her choice, not mine. I can only promise to help and encourage her as much as she will allow."

"I understand. We are in agreement then?" Lady Catherine rose and extended her hand toward Lizzy.

"All right. I will write to my father directly." _What am I saying?_ Lizzy took her hand; she shook it, wondering at the gentlemanly gesture.

"When you are finished, bring it to me, and I will have it sent express."

"And if I do not?"

"I shall be most displeased."

"What shall you do? Put me out? I assure you, Lady Catherine, I will not stand being upbraided by you or anyone else so wholly unconnected to me. Remember, I am doing you a favor and, though truly appealing, your library is not worth the surrender of my dignity." Lizzy took a step back. "Moreover, your daughter will not be happy with the demands I place on her and it will be enough that I must endure her complaints and demands.I will not be able to tolerate them from both her and you."

"I understand your point, young woman." She shuffled around the desk in a flurry of taffeta and lace. "You paint me as some sort of harridan."

"Are you surprised? I admit I have been attempting to sketch your character since the moment I arrived here, and the pieces I have ascertained have not all been flattering." She took a small step back into the side of a nearby chair.

"Indeed?" Lady Catherine's eyebrow rose. "What have you heard? I am intrigued."

"Among other things, I have been told you have spies throughout the parish who report to you when your wishes are not followed through. I have no intention of being subject to the biased observations of those who might witness my interactions with Miss de Bourgh."

Lady Catherine threw back her head and laughed for several long minutes. Finally she had to stop to catch her breath, wheezing slightly, and wipe her eyes. "I can only imagine where you might have heard such a tale, and, given your cousin's propensities, I can readily see why you might believe it." She leaned forward. "I assure you, I do not have spies. There are those who do like to share their intelligence with me if they find someone not conforming to my recommendations. Usually though, it is a blatant attempt to curry my favor or remove someone else from my favor. I am well aware of such machinations and have little tolerance for such interference."

Lizzy's eyebrows rose.

"Not what you expected, I see." She chuckled. "It is nice to see that even you can be wrong on occasion, Miss Bennet."

Several days later, Lizzy found herself wondering what she had agreed to. Anne's mask of reticence dropped and another character shone through. Lizzy struggled to make out exactly what that temperament was. At some moments Anne was a small kitten, shyly and playfully exploring her world; at others, she was alarmingly waspish with a stinging temper. More than the dichotomy, inability to discern Anne's true nature disturbed Lizzy as she rarely had such difficult making anyone out.

Early one afternoon, the butler intruded upon an animated discussion in the parlor to deliver several letters to Lizzy. She hurriedly excused herself to read them amidst protests by Anne to read them aloud. Lizzy held fast to her desire for privacy to read her letters, a sentiment echoed by Mrs. Jenkins and Lady Catherine. Anne protested that friends should not have secrets, but Lizzy ignored her and quickly left the room.

Upon reaching her room, she stationed herself in the window seat and enjoyed the warm sunbeams and blissful silence. She pressed her back against the window casing and noticed how her ears throbbed. _I would never have expected Anne to be so much like Lydia. I am certain Charlotte is wrong; her exuberance will not soon pass. But I shall return home in just seven weeks. I can endure anything for that long._

Shaking the thought from her head, she turned her attention to her letters. _This direction is in Mary's hand; she must have written it for Papa. She never has been a ready correspondent. Jane has written as well. I am sure she will fill me in on all Papa does not say._ She smiled to herself, broke the crisp wax seal, and unfolded the missive.

"The harvest goes well, that is good news," she murmured. "Of course, Kitty is having a difficult time with the ledgers; I could have told you she struggles with such tasks. In fact I am sure I did." She flicked the letter with her other hand. "Good, Mary is definitely the right person to assist her. She is so patient. Perhaps she will be better to teach Kitty what I could not." She swallowed back a pang of regret and turned the paper sideways. She scowled, trying to read the cross writing.

[font=comic sans ms]Papa has insisted I take this down precisely. He says: I have given Lady Catherine's request of you great consideration, Lizzy dear. Despite her great wealth and consequence, she asks a very great favor of one who owes her nothing. It shows a great liberality of mind on your part that you are willing to even consider such a thing. I have no doubt regarding your capability. There is none so capable as you, my daughter. (He is right—MB) [/font]

She flushed, a warm feeling welling in her chest as she closed her eyes and pictured Mary's serene face.

[font=comic sans ms]I am concerned though. Just as you take on more than you ought here, I fear you are about to do the same thing at Rosings. I know you believe Miss de Bourgh to be a poor deprived creature with a sweet temper. Whilst you are a keen judge of character, let me caution you that, perhaps in this one instance, you may be to apt to forgive signs of what may be true flaws of her character. If she has been as sheltered and coddled as you believe, there may be a vicious and unexpected sting in her. I do not wish you to see you hurt because of your good will. I leave you to decide what you will do with the invitation, but I caution you to consider carefully.[/font]

She set the letter down and rubbed her eyes. _You are not even here, Papa, and it feels like you know exactly what is going on. You fear the wasp as well. But what am I to do? I have given my word. It was you who taught me that I should never renege upon it, except for the most serious of circumstances._

She rested her forehead on the window glass and stared at the nearly manicured garden below. _Anne certainly is not gracious in her manner when speaking of those below herself, but perhaps that is just because of her mother. I wonder. She seems gracious enough with Charlotte, I suppose. But who is she really? I wonder if she even knows. _Lizzy blew out a heavy breath. _Right or wrong, it will not be very long either way, and I shall be home with a wealth of stories to entertain Papa. He always enjoys such tales._

She refolded the first letter and opened the second, tracing her fingertips across the neat feminine script and smiling. _Jane's hand is so lovely. It looks so much like her. _She could hear her sister's sweet voice as she read.

[font=]My dearest, Lizzy,

there is so much to tell you, I hardly know where to begin. I probably ought to save the best news for last, and I ought not to write of myself first, but I cannot contain it!

Mr. Bingley and I have come to an understanding, and we are to be married!

He had intended to wait for a longer courtship, but after all the unpleasantness with Mr. Wickham and Mr. Darcy's sudden departure, he has not been able to keep himself from Longbourn. One thing led to another and now I am the happiest of women.

We do not want a long engagement, but I cannot possibly be married without you standing up with me. Write me as soon as possible and tell me when you will return from Kent. Aunt Philips and Lady Lucas have asked for Papa's permission to plan the wedding breakfast. I suppose their offer is also a hope of reconciliation with our family after all the disagreeable events of the last season. Mary and Kitty do not feel up to the task, so Papa has reluctantly agreed on the condition that you do not wish to do it you do just tell me—oh I do not wish for you to feel put out. Just tell me what you would like, and we will accomplish it.[/font]

Lizzy looked up, too many feeling vying for her attentnion. _I could not be happier for her. Mr. Bingley will be such a good match for her. Mama was right, she is not so beautiful for nothing. I shall be happy to stand up with her._

She swallowed hard, tears suddenly springing to her eyes. _Surely Mr. Bingley cannot be anything like Mr. Collins. He will not treat Jane as Charlotte is treated. _

_I wonder if she will be able to stand up with me. Will there be a wedding for her to stand up in? I do not know. What was I thinking when I agreed to Mr. Darcy's offer? I cannot be a proper wife to him…no more than Anne could._ She laughed grimly under her breath. _But it seems Jane does not need my help either, not with our Aunt and Charlotte's mother standing at the ready. _She shook her head and returned to her letter.

[font=]I am sorry to say Lydia is even more decidedly put out. Her vision has improved a little. She continues to struggle and cannot read or do needlework, neither of which she misses greatly, though. Her chief complaint is that it is difficult for her to trim bonnets and arrange nosegays. That and, of course, Papa still does not allow her out of the house unescorted. She still resents your trip to Kent. The news of my understanding with Mr. Bingley has only further soured her humor, if that was possible.

Oh, Lizzy, I should not say such things, I know. But she has been such a trial since I told her that you would be the one to stand up with me. Papa spends much time with her every day, but I fear I have seen little alteration in her. He remains patient, though. He tells me not to despair; her disposition is to be expected, and it will yet be some time before she comes around. He remains quite hopeful in that eventuality, but I am not nearly as certain as he.

We have received two more letters from Mr. Darcy. Papa asks me to tell you of them, although I know you would rather be able to read them yourself. In the first, he writes that his uncle's condition continues to decline. He says he misses the company of Meryton and Netherfield Park quite severely. In the second, he says he is about to set off to visit his eccentric aunt to convey to her the nature of her brother's condition. He goes on to say that the situation with the family is rather complex, and he hopes to make his visit as brief as possible. He looks forward to leaving for the continent as soon as possible. In a postscript he added that he wondered how you might describe his aunt to your father.

Oh, Lizzy, how I blushed to read that! I confess I did not read those lines to Papa, but I know he heard me gasp. I do hope your Mr. Darcy returns soon. Perhaps we might even delay our nuptials enough that you and Mr. Darcy might share our day with us.[/font]

She clutched the letter to her chest, her heart thudding painfully. "Oh Jane. I just do not know. I am not like you. You have always been a lady, but I—"

A soft knock interrupted her musings. She padded to the door and discovered Anne waiting on the other side. As soon as the door opened, Anne pushed her way in. Lizzy jumped aside to permit Anne to pass.

"I hope you do not mind, but it became ever so droll in the parlor without you. Oh!" She knocked her shin against Lizzy's trunk. "What was that?"

Lizzy stared, frowning. "My trunk."

"Well, see that it is removed! Nothing is to be moved ever. Have you not been told? I am sure that you were. That is very rude, Miss Bennet, for you to ignore such instructions. Do you not consider my condition?" She stooped to rub her shin.

"Do you not consider the comfort of your guests? You should wait to be invited in before forcing your way so impolitely."

"This is my house; I do not need to be invited in!" Anne stood and planted her hands on her hips, lifting her chin imperiously.

"This is a matter of simple courtesy from which not even the mistress is exempt." Lizzy snapped "I am a guest in your home, not a servant. It is a matter of civility that you think of my privacy." She took Anne's hand and tucked it in the crook of her arm. Anne resisted, but Lizzy persistence was too much to resist. Lizzy took a step.

"What are you doing? I am not a dog to be drug about on a lead!" Anne's lip curled as she pulled back.

"How else can you expect to be able to walk in unfamiliar places?"

"I do not. Rosings, Heatherington House, the parsonage, and church are all maintained for my convenience. I do not have need to go elsewhere." Anne wrenched her hand from Lizzy.

"You are content to be a prisoner here and keep everyone else a prisoner to your selfishness as well?"

"My selfishness? I nearly break my leg on your inconsiderately placed trunk and you call me selfish? What concern have you shown for my condition, my needs?"

"Do not exaggerate, Miss de Bourgh, it is unbecoming. A small bruise is nothing akin to a broken bone.I have suffered both and can attest to that fact most assuredly." Lizzy crossed her arms and watched the anger spread across Anne's face. "Why, precisely, do your needs supersede those of everyone else around you? What of Mrs. Collins's need to maintain her home as she sees fit? You do not live in that house, and yet, it is maintained for you? How absurd! What of my needs for my trunk and my privacy?"

"What are those to my needs? It appears that I am at greater disadvantage than either of you. Have you forgotten that you can see whereas I cannot?" Anne scowled, bitterness dripping form her words.

"Forgive me for saying so, but my father would disagree, and he has been as you for these last ten years and does not resent the rest of the world because of his misfortune. He is always considerate to the needs of others. He even goes so far as to wear dark glasses to help conceal his scars for the comfort of those of weak constitutions."

"Well that is fine for a man of his standing—"

"May I suggest you be careful of what you say next lest you become grossly offensive," Lizzy hissed.

"Have you forgotten that you were invited to be a guest of Rosings Park? Are you ungrateful for my mother's condescension?"

"Have you forgotten my father is no more able than you, and I am here tending to you rather than at his side? He has granted me permission to stay here with you because he is able to consider the needs of others above his own, unlike you appear to be willing to do." Lizzy fought the urge to stomp her foot.

"You are a guest in my house. I will not be spoken to—"

"I am your mother's guest, not yours."

"Then I will have her put you out!" Anne screamed, turned, and cracked her shin on the trunk before she stumbled and fell.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Lizzy stepped back, shaking her head.

Anne huddled on the floor, sobbing into her hands. Her semi-hysterical wails were more fitting for a funeral than for complaining over a bruised shin or not getting her way

_Even_ _Lydia has never thrown a tantrum like this. _"I cannot leave if you do not get off my trunk. I need to pack." Lizzy tapped her foot rapidly, the carpet muffling the sound.

"Help me up," Anne whimpered miserably, turning her face up toward Lizzy.

"Put your hands on the trunk and push yourself up." Lizzy crossed her arms and dug her nails into her palms. She leaned back against the polished bedpost.

"You are horrible and cruel. I could fall down the stairs and break my neck, and you would do nothing but laugh." Anne beat the floor with her fist.

Lizzy squeezed her temples, screwing her eyes shut. "You are childish and selfish, demanding help for what you can accomplish on your own. I will not encourage it. Laziness is not a desirable trait in a gentlewoman."

Anne wailed again and covered her face with her hands, sobbing.

Lizzy rolled her eyes, feeling her patience come to its end. She grabbed the bedpost for balance and stepped over Anne on her way out of the room. Just outside the doorway, she paused and leaned back against the wall, covering her eyes with her hands. _What was I thinking when I agreed to this? Aunt Gardiner's youngest child is better behaved than this._ She opened her eyes and gasped to see Lady Catherine peering into her face.

"That was harsh." Lady Catherine met her eyes, unblinking. She tapped her fan against her palm, the blades rattling their displeasure. "How could you just walk away from her like that?"

"She is perfectly capable of getting herself up." Lizzy glanced back over her shoulder toward the sunlight pouring form the open doorway. "To help her is to feed the illusion that she cannot do things for herself. That would have killed my father, and I will not do that to her." She shook her head and folded her arms across her chest. "As soon as she decides to get up off my trunk, I shall go pack."

Lady Catherine snorted. "No, you agreed to stay a full two months, and I shall hold you to your word." She snapped her fan open and fluttered it close to her face, then gathered it closed again.

"But, your Ladyship—" Lizzy's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

She laid her hand over Lizzy's arm. Lizzy followed her gaze back toward her room where Anne continued to sob and beat the carpet.

"She cannot go on like this.A lady does not conduct herself thusly. If she is to manage Rosings, she cannot do so by throwing tantrums and abusing those sent to assist her. Few are as gracious as you." She swallowed hard to cover a sigh. "I have not the strength to curb her myself, but clearly she needs a strong hand like yours."

Anne's bitter sobs filled the hallway. Lizzy cringed at the increase in volume and pitch.

Lady Catherine mopped her face with her handkerchief and crumpled it into her fist. "I will have Anne's maid keep watch on her to see she does not hurt herself, but I will instruct her not interfere. If you wish, you may use my personal library while she is intruding upon your private rooms."

"Thank you, madam. Perhaps that is best." Lizzy curtsied and walked down the hall alone. As she turned to go down the stairs, she saw Lady Catherine, her head bowed and pressed against the door jam, watching Anne. A tear trickled down the great lady's weathered cheek,

Lizzy had completed her notes on two additional books by the time tea was served. Lady Catherine joined her, but said so little Lizzy feared she was taking ill. Parish business called her away soon after, and Lizzy returned to her studies. _I should use stale bread to clean wallpaper…who knew?_ She reached across the table for another book. _Where did I see that bit on vinegar? We always have it on hand and I know it could be put to better uses…_

A sudden noise made her jump. She looked up to see Anne in the doorway, blowing her nose, face still bearing the telltale signs of weeping.

"Miss Bennet," Anne sniffled, her head bowed as though to watch herself wring her hands.

Lizzy closed her book sharply and set it aside with a firm thump on the table. "Yes, Miss de Bourgh?"

"I…I am not accustomed to saying these things." Anne entered the room with small mincing steps. "I am sorry. My display was unmannerly and unseemly. I said some dreadful things to you, and I hope you will forgive me for them."

Lizzy stood. "How have you come to this conclusion? Was it the revelation of much contemplation or did you have assistance in coming to this new understanding?"

Anne pulled back, her jaw dropping. She closed her mouth and licked her lips. "Mrs. Jenkins came to me. A servant told her of my distress, I suppose. My companion did not hesitate to come to my assistance." Anne's lips pushed forward in a pout.

Lizzy huffed angrily. "No one was to interfere with you."

"Mrs. Jenkins did not interfere as you call it. My maid told her you said not to help me. I may have her reassigned to the kitchen," Anne muttered bitterly.

"You will do no such thing. She was following instructions, as she should have. What did Mrs. Jenkins tell you?" Lizzy chewed her lip. _If I have to fight Mrs. Jenkins too—_

"She did not believe you were so very horrible to me." Anne shook her head slightly and raised her chin. "Mrs. Jenkins suggested that perhaps I am not accustomed to being with others and would benefit from learning to behave more properly with company."

Lizzy struggled to suppress the triumphant grin that threatened to burst forth. "Do you agree with her counsel?"

Anne's face flushed, and she squirmed, frowning. "I suppose I can see merit in what she says." She pressed her lips hard. "Please, do not stop being my friend." Anne's face turned down and she shuffled her feet.

Lizzy cradled her jaw in her hand and sighed. _Father says he was very difficult with Mama for a long time. It is clear Lydia is being so, as well. Perhaps it is just the nature of recovering from such a loss. If that is so, I cannot hold that against her. It is not a defect in her character, just an artifact of her situation._ She covered the distance between them and took Anne's hands. "All is forgiven."

Anne squealed and clapped her hands. "Oh, thank you, Miss Bennet. Thank you! I knew you would. My maid was not so sure nor was Mrs. Jenkins, but I knew you would overlook my misstep." She hugged herself with a satisfied smile. "Come, sit with me." She bounded to the settee and patted the seat beside her.

Lizzy shook her head and blinked rapidly, staring at Anne. She rolled her eyes and bit her tongue._I should have known it would not be so easy._

Anne tapped the settee beside her several times. She cocked her head and shrugged.

Muttering silently, Lizzy sat down and smoothed her skirts.

Anne rubbed her hands together and tapped her steepled fingers against her chin. "Since we are such good friends, now, I will share with you a secret. No one outside my family knows." She bounced slightly on the firm cushions.

Lizzy braced her feet hard to still the movement. "I pray, do not. Secrets are not meant to be shared. I do not wish to know." She scooted back slightly, leaning into the arm of the couch.

"I simply must tell someone. I will burst if I do not." She pumped her fists and allowed them to bounce off the back of the settee. "You do not know any of the people involved. I will not even name them if you wish."

"I do not see how that makes a difference."

"It makes all the difference. If you have not their names, it cannot be gossip, for you cannot know of whom I speak." Anne grinned and trembled with excitement.

Lizzy huffed, shaking her head. "A secret is a trust, and I am decidedly uncomfortable with the thought of breaking trust." She covered her eyes with her hand. "How can I explain to you? Even though it is the pastime of many, particularly in society—"

"I promise there will be no names! They are people you will never know anyway." She extended her hands toward Lizzy. "Without names, it is no different that a story in a novel, no? There is nothing wrong with talking about a novel, is there?"

"No, but Miss de Bourgh, this is different."

"If you do not know to whom I refer, no trust has been violated." She stamped her foot slightly.

Lizzy ground her teeth, overwhelmed by the sense she was trying to win an argument with Lydia, a notably fruitless endeavor on the best of days.

"Besides it is a story of how I helped my cousins. I do not wish you to continue to think ill of me. I want you to know that I am a good, helpful sort of person… like my mother. Please." She folded her hands and turned a hopeful expression toward Lizzy.

Lizzy quivered, biting back the first words that came to her. Instead, she drew a deep breath to steady herself. Anne's tone was so like Lydia, and despite her better judgment, she muttered, "If you must, I will listen; but do not tell me any names or I shall leave this room immediately. No clues as to who they are either. Do not leave me any clues to speculate on the identity of the players in this novel of yours." Lizzy dragged her hand down her face.

Anne slumped. "Oh, all right, but you do so take the fun out of it."

"Perhaps this is not a good idea." Lizzy shifted her weight and started to push off the couch. "You appear to a have little commitment to what is most important to me. How am I to trust you to honor my wishes?"

"Oh stop and just listen! I will be perfectly good and do just as you ask." Anne reached out awkwardly and found Lizzy's hands to pull her back. "I have two cousins. I will call them Amy and John for those are nothing like their real names. Their parents are dead, and they live on…Abbeyglen estate—not really, but for the sake of the story, they do."

"I understand." Lizzy was glad Anne could not see the impatient frown she could not drive from her face.

"See, I am doing exactly what you asked."

_For the moment._

"Amy is very young and pretty, but without her mother or even a companion to guide her. Her brother has been very lax in his care of her, so my mother said."

_Naturally, for she does know everything._ Lizzy rolled her eyes, a knot growing in her stomach.

"Amy did not know how to behave properly, and she was forcibly seduced by the son of…well, it does not matter who. He is not a man of fortune or connections."

"Why should that matter?" Lizzy felt her shoulders tighten and fists curl.

Anne brushed back a stray strand of hair and tossed her head. "If he had been at least a gentlemen of some means, her brother could have insisted they marry, and all would have been well."

"To be married to a man who could do such at thing is considered 'doing well'?" Lizzy pressed her knuckle to her lips, her nails digging into her palm.

"Her reputation and that of her family's would have been spared."

"But to be shackled to such—"

"It was her fault." Anne's hands flew to her hips, and she bounced slightly on the seat. "Had she behaved properly—"

"How could you know that? Were you there to observe her behavior? Did you see what he did? What do you actually know about a forcible seduction?"

"It is always the lady's fault—"

"You are quick to judge what you do not understand." Lizzy looked away, sure that Anne would be able to feel her glare. "I really do not wish to hear any more of the novel of yours. There is so much of it that you do not understand. I have no desire to listen to any more of your uninformed opinions."

"My understanding is quite appropriate. It is quite as good as yours I dare say. Mrs. Jenkins has instructed me quite thoroughly, as has my mother." Anne's nose turned up as she sniffed.

"Of course." Lizzy smiled tightly.

"You are ruining my story!" She stamped her foot hard. "Do you not want to know how I rescued them?"

"No, I really do not." Lizzy squeezed her temples, feeling sick to her stomach.

"But it gets ever so much better now. Please, just listen and I while show you how useful I was to them."

"Of course, carry on." Lizzy crossed her arms tightly, struggling to contain her mounting irritation. "Was she injured by his seduction?"

"Slightly. But that is not important."

"How interesting you find her welfare of so little significance." Lizzy's gaze traveled to the window where she saw a horse and rider pass. _I wish I could trade places with him._

"She got what she had coming to her. Now stop interrupting me." Anne slapped the couch cushions. "Her brother was very upset. He would have called the man out to a duel. Of course, that is illegal, so he did not. The law offered him no satisfaction in the matter, either. If he had pressed charges, his sister and their family name would have been exposed, and that could not be borne."

"Naturally." Lizzy's tongue felt thick in her mouth and she swallowed against the dryness. She slapped the back of her neck certain some multi-legged creature had just crawled down her spine. "There is little legal protection for women in such matters. Perhaps it would be good for you to remain aware of it. You know that when you marry, your fortune will belong to your husband, and you will have to abide by whatever decisions he makes in handling it."

Anne harrumphed and pouted. "Do not lecture me when I am telling a story."

Lizzy sighed hard. "So what did her brother do?"

"He had very little choice. He wanted very much to get this man away from his sister, so he purchased the man a commission and sent him off to the army."

"Where he could damage other unsuspecting young ladies?" Lizzy's foot tapped rapidly against the leg of the settee. She dug her nails into her arm, focusing on the sharp pain to dull the impact of Anne's words.

"Miss Bennet!"

"It is true!" Lizzy sprang to her feet and paced in front of Anne. "Had your cousin no concern for the other young women who could have been preyed upon by the cad?"

"I do not know." Anne waved a dismissive hand. "I do not suppose it mattered to him. It was not his problem, and it would be the fault of the other young ladies just as it was my cousin."

"You do not find this troubling?"

"Can you not just listen to me?" Anne made a sharp noise under her breath like the air being pushed out a bellows.

"Carry on." Lizzy grumbled softly, hoping the tale might be soon finished.

Anne resettled herself and smoothed her skirts. "Amy was quite discontent after her seducer was sent away. So you see, she harbored a _tendre _for him, and she was at fault."

"She told you this herself?"

"No, I would not ask her such a thing nor would I have allowed her to speak it to me. Such things are not fitting for a maiden's ears."

_Yet they are fitting for one to speak about? Can this get any worse? _Lizzy dragged her palm down her face."How then do you know her feelings on the matter?" She rubbed her ears, wondering if the pain in them was real or simply imagined.

"They were obvious by her melancholy. She betrayed herself; cannot you not see that—you who are such a keen observer does not find it apparent?"

"Not at all. Being observant does not mean that I would assume to be able to read the mind of another. People's feelings are not so easy to infer as you suppose. I would caution you to be more careful in believing you know another's heart."

"You are a most impertinent listener," Anne harrumphed loudly. "In any case, Amy and John came to Rosings to visit for a change of scenery. My other cousins… David, his wife Emily, and his younger brother…Allen…there, those names will do. They are nothing like their real names, you know."

"Yes, I know," Lizzy muttered through gritted teeth.

"David and Emily and Allen also came to visit for it was all their habit to visit near Easter time." Anne plucked at her skirts. "The first several weeks of their visit were quite entertaining. Amy was very despondent, despite the lovely stories my other cousins had to tell me of London and their other travels. Allen, you see, is a second son and an officer. He has ever so many tales of the continent."

"Of course."

"Well, another fortnight at Rosings did nothing to restore Amy's good humour, and Mama finally spoke with her maid deduced why. Can you not guess the reason?" Anne leaned in close as her voice dropped to a whisper.

"I am sure I cannot."Lizzy took a small step back. _I wonder if Lady Catherine learned her interrogation techniques from her officer nephew. She is clearly well versed in extracting information._

"Oh, do try, please…"

"I am sure I do not know." Lizzy snorted. "The poor girl was probably half mad with anxiety over how her cousins would judge her misfortune." She almost hoped her exasperation carried through her voice. But Anne did not react.

"Really, Miss Bennet…"

"I do not think I want to hear any more." Lizzy inched away, but Anne caught her hand and pulled her back.

"No! No! YOU must hear me out! Mama discovered that Amy was with child!"

Lizzy gasped, "The poor girl!"

"Yes, yes, the poor, stupid girl. Had she only learnt to be a proper lady it would never have happened." Anne snorted tossing her head. "I solved the problem." The corner of her lips lifted in a smug expression.

Lizzy slid back onto the settee. "Just how did you do that?" She bit her lip, stomach roiling.

Anne rubbed her hands together. "Oh, it was such a good plan, such a very good one! Even Mama did not conceive of such a plan as I, and she knows nearly everything."

_Like mother, like daughter._ Lizzy cringed.

"My cousin Emily had just confided in me that she was expecting her first child, as well. In fact, they were both expecting to give birth in the same month. So what do you think I said?"

Lizzy closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"You will be so proud of me. I did not tell Amy to dispose of her child to a foundling home or to the care of some stranger. No, I have learned compassion from my mother." She hugged herself. "I told her that since no one knew that Emily was with child that they should both go to David's country estate before either became high in the belly. Both the babes could be born there, and Emily could pretend the babies were twins and none would be the wiser."

"What would happen if Emily bore a daughter and Amy a son? Would not David have issues regarding his heir not actually being _his_ heir?"

"Well, that could have been a problem, but it did not happen that way. Two daughters were born, so it was of no matter. Fathers are never much concerned with daughter. Until a son is born I do not think he will care on way or another for how many children he has." Anne brushed hair back from her face. "Do you not think it was a good solution?"

Lizzy ran her fingertips across her lips. "It was certainly a kind and generous one. It sounds like the baby will certainly have a chance of growing up in a good situation. Your cousins, David and Emily, must be very kind people."

"Oh, they are and even more so when their family name and reputation are at stake."

"I am sure." Lizzy rolled her eyes again. "Do not speak to me of this again. Twins are a rare enough event that just that information could reveal who you are speaking of. Did you consider that?"

"No. You do not know their names—"

"No, but I do know some very intimate details about them, details which you were trusted not to share, details which could easily reveal to me who you are talking about."

"But you will not gossip and spread the story, so what mater is it?" Anne crossed her arms and bounced on her seat, pouting.

"My behavior is not the point, yours is. You have endangered the reputation of your family by sharing what you have—"

"No, I have not for you will not speak of it."

"How do you know that?" Lizzy stepped very close. She was certain Anne could feel her breath.

"Because you are not that sort of person."

"Apparently, you are though. You just said I am more trustworthy than you."

Anne flinched and Lizzy pulled back.

"You do know how to ruin a story." Anne frowned and tossed her head. "You have not even heard the best part of it all. Because of my wonderful solution, I am now engaged to be married as well. I was so excited to tell you that and you have just spoiled all the fun in it."

Lizzy blinked several times. "I am afraid I do not follow you. How is any of this related to a proposal of marriage?"

"Mama and Cousin John and Amy's mother always intended that John and I should marry. After his parents died, John became so serious and dour. He would not even speak of our intended betrothal. But…" Anne jumped to her feet, clapping her hands, "after I rescued his sister's reputation…"

"He asked you to marry him?'

"Well, not, not exactly. Mama suggested that to show his gratitude, he ought to marry me as he was supposed to do."

"He agreed?" Lizzy scowled. "I should think that a man who would turn such a scoundrel loose on unsuspecting country towns would care little for such methods of persuasion."

"Would you stop going on and one about the seducer. Who cares about country maids? This is my story!"

Lizzy ground her teeth and quivered with the effort to control her tongue. "Have you forgotten that I live in the country with my four sisters?"

"Oh, but none of you would be so foolish as to be affected by a seducer. You are right, though. He would not make me an offer of marriage. He was quite steadfast in his insistence."

"So you wore him down with your perseverance?

"No. The story becomes every so tragic, like a novel really. You see Emily died before she could be churched, and there were two babies with no mother for them. I will spare you the details," Anne waved her hand, "but I saved them again, and I said David must marry Amy. Then all their problems would be solved. Well, except for the servants who knew too much and would be likely to talk unless they were paid off handsomely."

"For that he made you an offer?" Lizzy stomach recoiled, and she fought to swallow back the bile.

"Well, no, but he stopped insisting he would not." Anne returned to the settee and played with her skirt a little sadly.

Lizzy stepped back and perched on the arm of a large chair. Her knees felt as weak as if she had cast up her accounts. She almost wished she could so she would have an excuse to end this dreadful interview.

"I was certain he would have asked me the last time I saw him, but he insisted I move from Rosings if we married, and you know I cannot do that. But I know you will help me change his mind."

"I think not. The matter seems resolved, no? You will not live with him at his estate, and so you cannot marry. I should say you are better for it, for to be shackled to such a man…"

"No! I will marry him, and he will live here at Rosings." Anne shook her fists, her face contorting.

"How, exactly, will you accomplish this?" _Do not think for a moment I will become embroiled in your schemes._

"When he last visited, I mentioned to him that servants were apt to talk. Reputations can easily be ruined that way, you know." Anne smiled a most unbecoming smile. "I have no doubt that he will reconsider, knowing how much he values his sister's reputation. Soon he will decide marriage to me and inheriting Rosings someday is not such a bad thing."

"You would want a man you forced into marriage by threatening to compromise his… your… family's reputation?" Lizzy's lips curled, and she could not look at Anne. "I cannot believe you would consider to stooping to such a thing?Does your mother know of the threats you are making?"

"I am sure she would not take umbrage at them. She is forever telling people what to do and they listen to her. Why should I not do the same?"

"I believe many of them listen because her advice is actually helpful and she knows what she is talking about. Clearly she has studied this room full of books and learned something." Lizzy threw her hands in the air.

"I know what I am talking about the same as she does. Consider this, Miss Bennet, who else will marry me? I have so few acquaintances; what other hope have I of marrying? I know what I need to do to secure a husband and I will do it."

"Do not expect me to participate in these dreadful matter how questionable your cousin's character, I will not be a part of manipulating him or anyone else." Lizzy paused to draw breath. " Have you considered how will you perform your duties as mistress—"

"That is what servants are for!" Anne stabbed her toes against the leg of the settee.

"Not everything can be done by servants." Lizzy muttered under her breath.

"I thought you would be proud of how helpful I was and excited for my betrothal." Anne wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"You have manipulated a man of questionable character into a situation he does not want, all in order to fulfill your desire to be married? How am I to rejoice in that?"

"What exactly are you saying, Miss Bennet?"

Lizzy's heart pounded painfully in her chest. "You must excuse me, Miss de Bourgh, I feel suddenly unwell, and I need to take some air." She hurried from the room, ignoring Anne's angry huff behind her.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

_I cannot be part of this! I simply cannot be part of this horrible scheme. What of the poor cousin who has been imposed upon? Has no consideration been offered the true victim in this scenario?_ Lizzy flexed her hands into fists._Somehow Miss de Bourgh. can only see her cousin as a pawn to be used in these disgusting machinations. For all that she plays helpless, Miss de Bourgh is a cunning little fox set out to steal whatever she can for herself! Or perhaps Papa is right and she is a wasp…_ Lizzy nearly ran headlong into Mr. Clarke in the hall outside Lady Catherine's study. "Oh!"

"Why Miss Bennet, are you all right?" he asked and caught her elbow to keep her from falling.

"Oh, excuse me, sir!" She caught herself against the wall, gasping. "I am afraid I was lost in thought and in need of fresh air."

A grizzled eyebrow raised, and he smiled. "I was just heading outside, myself. May I escort you?" He offered his arm. "Perhaps you would like to visit with my wife? Our cottage is but half a mile from here. Though she may bluster a bit, between you and me, she loves the odd bit of company dropping by."

"I am a very odd bit, I suppose." Lizzy laughed in spite of herself.

"Now do not go putting words in an old man's mouth." He grinned and patted her hand. "So you will take tea with us?"

Though she had no wish for company, Lizzy heard herself agreeing and followed Mr. Clarke out.

Crisp afternoon air cleared her mind even as it hinted winter was not far in the offing. The crunching leaves underfoot echoed the sentiment. She could not suppress a smile as she crunched a particularly large pile under her foot and kicked them aside. Her feet hurried her to an even larger pile that she attacked with relish.

Mr. Clarke looked at her and laughed.

She shrugged with an uplifted eyebrow. "So had you a pleasant meeting with Lady Catherine?"

"Yes, far more pleasant than it seems you had with Miss de Bourgh." He glanced at her, quirking an eyebrow.

"You could hear?" Her eyes grew wide and cold prickled her cheeks.

"No, Miss, just an educated guess. The expression you wear is quite familiar. I see it often on her ladyship's servants." He chuckled softly. "I visit regularly with her ladyship regarding the needs of the poor in our parish."

"I thought that Mr. Collins still performed that duty."

"He does visit the parishioners, make no mistake about that. But his visits are mostly in the service of Lady Catherine. He is her most devoted secretary, you see. He carries her messages to them. He is most attentive to _her_ voice, and he conveys her messages most accurately." He grinned conspiratorially. "My wife and I believe she selected him for his lovely handwriting and ability to make a quick job of it. You've never seen a man who could write as quickly and neatly as he."

"Those were talents I did not know he possessed, though Ruth alluded to it. I confess, I was most surprised at hearing that her ladyship was encouraging those in her domain to learn to read. Few think it worthwhile to waste such learning on servants."

"True , how else can she make certain everyone knows of her wishes, and has the opportunity to benefit immediately from her sound advice? Sending her vicar to deliver copies of her directives is much more effective than trying to visit everyone she does wish to make the effort." He pressed his lips together, eyes twinkling.

"So the actual work of the parish falls upon you." She drew breath to say more, but reconsidered.

"That is the work of the curate, is it not?" He winked, his mustache twitching slightly. "Some say I have more of a disposition to manage the care of souls than our esteemed vicar. So perhaps it is for the best, for I would make a terrible secretary to her ladyship. My dear wife oft reminds me that if my heavenly reward were dependent upon my penmanship, I should be preparing for another reward."

Lizzy covered her mouth with her fist, trying hard not to giggle, but she could not stop herself.

"Ah, here we are." He gestured to a neat white cottage surrounded by a modest fence that also enclosed a small garden. He led her to the front door. "Woman of the house!" he called as he entered.

A stout older woman with round cheeks poked her head into the room. "You could have told a body you were bringing company." She wiped her hands on her apron and bustled over to them.

He elbowed Lizzy gently and twitched his shaggy brows. "Miss Bennet, may I present my wife, Mrs. Clarke."

"A pleasure to meet you." Lizzy said, struggling to keep a straight face as the woman curtsied.

"Likewise, madam." Her face was severe, but her deep-set eyes glowed with warmth. "Come in and make yourself to home." She led them into the large front room filled with faded furniture.A cheery fire in the fireplace drove away the chill.

"Miss Bennet is staying at Rosings, the special friend of Miss de Bourgh," Mr. Clark explained, carefully emphasizing the last several words.

"For goodness sake, my dear girl!" Mrs. Clark's hands flew up. "You must have the very patience of Job himself!" She clapped, then shook her head and lowered herself carefully into a worn chair. With a soft grunt, she reached for a footstool and propped up her feet, revealing her worn shoes.

"I fear you must be thinking of my eldest sister." Lizzy snickered, leaning back and settling into her chair. She stroked the threadbare chair arms with her fingertip, remembering a similar one in her father's study. "I do not believe anyone has ever used the word patient to describe me, even my dear father who thinks far more of me than he should."

Mrs. Clarke's eyes crinkled and her cheeks glowed. "'e must have his hands full with you, Miss!"

They all laughed heartily.

"I fear it is her ladyship who has her hands full right now." Lizzy pressed her lips together, but she knew her eyes betrayed her.

"My stars,that must be interesting." Mrs. Clark caught the look in Lizzy's eye. "And no, Miss, I am not asking for stories from the great house, not at all. I have no wish to clutter my head with more than I already know!"

Mr. Clarke reached awkwardly across the low table to pat his wife's foot. "My dear wife does not always see eye-to-eye with her ladyship."

Mrs. Clarke snorted. "That was kindly put." She mopped her face with the hem of her apron.

"I thought Lady Catherine was a welcome font of knowledge on all things domestic and beyond." Lizzy smiled wryly, and balanced her fist on her chin..

"A font, yes; welcome. Welcome, I am not so certain." She crossed her ankles on the stool. "Where I come from, a lass prefers to ask for advice before receiving it."

Mr. Clark tugged the hem of her skirt playfully. "That is not to say that Lady Catherine is not often quite correct, for she is…"

"One just wishes at times that she might keep her correctness to herself," Mrs. Clark finished, crossing her arms over her ample bosom. "Mind you, she is well meaning enough. But one should manage one's own house first."

Lizzy blinked several times. "So you do not approve—"

"Of Miss de Bourgh? Oh, I know I should not be saying so, but 'tis clear enough for anyone to see. Lady Catherine has done that child no good for all the coddling and protecting she's done."

"So it would seem." Lizzy sighed and looked down at her hands. "My father was blinded in a hunting accident ten years ago. My mother would not allow him to hide away, feeling sorry for himself, though he did not always appreciate it." She looked up again with a wistful smile. "At times he was rather forceful in his opposition, though now he says it was the making of him."

"Mrs. Collins has told us the same thing of your parents, Miss Bennet," Mr. Clarke said.

Lizzy's forehead wrinkled, and the corners of her mouth drooped.

Mrs. Clarke leaned forward. "You must know, she holds them in the highest esteem. Your friend is not a gossip. It is more like she is talking about family she is right proud of."

"Charlotte is a very dear friend." Lizzy nodded, the tension leaving her face. "Our family would never have survived had my mother not been so strong with Papa. My Uncle and Aunt Gardiner took a similar stance and at times were also rather confrontational with him. We are grateful to them, as well. Throughout the years, I have come to believe they were God-sent to our family."

"I sure they were. You will pardon me, Miss, if I say that the Good Lord seems more apt to send such people to your life if they are welcomed with tea rather than a tantrum." Mrs. Clarke slid her feet down to the floor and leaned her elbows on her knees. "I can guess how you have been greeted."

Lizzy swallowed back her laughter. "I am, perhaps, a poor excuse of a lady myself, but it is difficult to find patience with Miss de Bourgh at the moment."

Mrs. Clarke's face wrinkled into a scowl, and she glanced at her husband. "It is not patience that you need, missy; I would say what you need is a good stout stick."

They all laughed heartily.

The appealing image flashed through her mind, but she suppressed it quickly. "I fear my father might not approve of my learning how to wield one effectively. He already accuses me of managing far more than I should. "

"It is a shame, that." Mrs. Clark chuckled. "You are generous, trying to spread your mother's legacy here. I cannot think of a place that needs it more. Once the Great Lady is gone, it will be her daughter over this place, and many lives will be changed by that, I fear." She frowned and sniffed. "You must excuse me. I must be tending to my bread; it is baking day, ya' know. And I should be bringing us some tea." She pushed herself out of the chair and shuffled out.

Lizzy and Mr. Clark sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the sounds of bread being removed from an oven and enjoying the inviting scents.

"I really do feel sorry for the poor lass." Mr. Clark sighed.

"Her blindness is tragic." Lizzy glanced out the window, brushing her lips with her knuckles.

"Yes, but that is not what I was thinking. It would not be so bad if she could think beyond herself. The real tragedy is that she cannot. I hear she is to marry her cousin. I pity him and the children she will bear. A woman like that does not make a doting mother."

Lizzy's heart ached at the image, her own mother's warmth and love still very fresh on her heart. "You believe I could make a difference in all that?"

"If she is willing to change, I think it is possible. But she will not be an easy burden to bear. She is not your responsibility, either. What are you going to do?"

"It is tempting to write to my father to arrange for me to return home." Lizzy chewed her lip. "But I did tell Lady Catherine that I would stay and try to help.I just had no idea that Anne would be quite so intensely resistant."

"Intense is an interesting way to describe her." Mr. Clarke rose and helped his wife bring in the tea service.

That night Lizzy struggled to sleep, the conversation at the Clarkes' still turning over in her mind. _What is my duty? Have I honored my mother's memory adequately? Have I honored my father sufficiently? Clearly Anne is no better than Lydia. She is most unready to face the world as an adult. But that is what will be expected when Lady Catherine are so many lives attached to Rosings that will suffer greatly if Miss de Bourgh takes over the estate as she is I permit that to happen?_ Her stomach knotted, and she struggled through the covers to sit up against the tucked her knees under her chin and pulled the blankets up over her.

_I cannot imagine her married, even to a man as inconsiderate as her cousin must be. At least he thought of his sister despite the selfishness of his other decisions. It seems that Miss de Bourgh is unable—or would that be unwilling—to think of anyone but herself. Even Lydia has her moments of thoughtfulness, and she does willingly do a share of the work at home.I doubt Miss de Bourgh has ever lifted a finger in useful effort._

_Am I being selfish? I do not want to deal with her. I know what I told Lady Catherine, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into. What is my duty? After all, I am able-bodied and capable of much. Is it not mere gratitude for me to share freely of what I have learned? I should; it is only right._

_Papa no longer seems to be in need of me…my help…but clearly Miss de Bourgh needs me. I must go where I am needed. I must stay here until Miss de Bourgh is settled as Lady Catherine wishes. Perhaps by then Mr. Darcy will be back from the continent, and his family matters will be well settled. _

Still uneasy, she pulled the fine bed linens around her and succumbed to sleep.

Later the next morning, a long rider approached Rosings atop an exceptionally large black stallion. Darcy paused atop a low rise and gazed over the rolling lands "Well, it seems the new steward is a competent man. This year's harvest seems to be progressing better than last. If only Aunt Catherine would put as much effort into managing her estate as she does managing the people on it." He sighed and resettled his hat.

Even with Richard's help, affairs in London had taken much longer to settle than he had hoped. He could only stay a day or two at the most if he was to make his ship at the ports ofDover. Hopefully he would be able to explain matters quickly and be on his way before Anne caused another one of her scenes. He shuddered. _How could I have ever considered settling for such a selfish, childish woman?_

His stomach churned as the parsonage caught his eye. _With any luck I can avoid that yammering fool. I do not need another lecture form him about my duty to Anne. How am I going to convince them without Aunt Catherine finding out about Elizabeth?I cannot allow her to harass Elizabeth and her family._

He urged Surtur into motion and was soon mounting the elegant staircase leading to his aunt's front door. The butler let him in and informed him her ladyship was at home, that, in fact, she was still in her study. Moments later he was announced.

"Fitzwilliam!" she exclaimed rising to meet him. "It is not like you to appear so unexpectedly."

He removed his hat and bowed. "I am sorry to arrive without warning, but I bring news that I did not want to send in a letter and had not the time to have sent ahead."

"Come, sit." She gestured him to a seat and rang the bell.A servant appeared a moment later and she ordered tea be brought. She sat beside Darcy. "What is wrong?"

"Lord Matlock has had another apoplexy." He pulled a letter out of his coat and pressed it into her hand. "All the details are here."

She gasped, covering her mouth her fingertips. With the other hand she clutched the paper, wrinkling it in her grasp.

"The doctors believe he will not recover this time. He rallied a bit when Richard and I arrived, but the physicians do not believe it will last long."

"The viscount?" She slipped the letter into her pocket and kept her hand over it for a moment.

"Andrew is on the continent. We are not entirely certain where, hopefully in Calais. I am charged with the task of finding him. Uncle Matlock is determined to see his heir one more time before he passes."

"Lady Matlock?"

"She is as well as can be expected." He watched Lady Catherine, recognizing the look in her eyes. "I do not think your presence will be a help to her now. Richard has leave for a little while longer. He is there with her."

"Nonetheless, I will go to my brother directly." She patted her lap and shifted to stand.

He placed a hand on her arm. "No, please. I need to ask you to stay here and arrange for Georgiana's wedding with Andrew. Lady Matlock is in no condition to plan the event, and it must take place as soon as can be arranged. It would be better if it could take here, place away from town."

"I will see to the arrangements." She settled back into the couch and stroked her chin. "It would be appropriate, I think, then to plan a double wedding."

Darcy's gut clenched. He could feel a vein in his forehead throbbing. "Excuse me?"

"You and Anne may seal your understanding at this time as well."

"Aunt, I told you before," Darcy rubbed his forehead, "She has refused to live anywhere but Rosings, and I will not…"

"In a short time she will consent to live at Pemberley." She waved her hands, a conductor orchestrating her world around her.

"How do you know this?"

"I have found a young woman to assist her. I have faith that in a very short time Anne will change her mind and be willing to…"

"No." He exploded to his feet unable to control the urge to move. "Now is not the time for such a thing. Allow us to assist Georgiana and Andrew through this season. We must protect my sister and the baby. Then we can…"

"No, now is the perfect opportunity for you to seal your union. If you all marry together it will remove any suspicion upon Georgiana, you see? It is the perfect time."

"Anne is by no means ready… I do not wish…"

"You are such a thoughtful man, nephew." She stood beside him and patted his shoulder.

The door creaked open and a maid arrived with the tea service. Lady Catherine whispered a few words to her, and she left again. "I have sent for Anne's …friend…to be brought. Once you meet her, you will be as convinced as I."

"You must listen to me, Aunt Catherine; I have no intention—"

"I know you have no intention of making Anne uncomfortable; that. That is why you released her from your engagement the last time you were here. But now there is no need." She urged him to sit down again.

He hesitated, then returned to his seat. "I have no desire to marry."

"Desire has nothing at all to do with anything. It is your duty to protect the honor and reputation of the family. Marrying Anne when Georgiana and Andrew marry will accomplish just that. All the problems your sister's unfortunate behavior has caused—"

"I will not have you continuing to blame her for what happened. You do not understand—"

"It does not matter now. What is done is crux of the matter is that you and your sister will both do your duty to your family and—"

"I will not—" He stood again and glared down at Lady Catherine.

"Stop uttering such nonsense! You will do your duty to your sister and to my daughter and to the Darcy name. I am quite decided in this."

A rap at the door interrupted them. A servant opened it and ushered Lizzy in.

She took three steps and stopped. "Mr. Darcy?" Color drained from her face, and her jaw dropped.

"Eliz… Miss Bennet?" His heart throbbed so loudly in his ears that he could barely hear anything else.

"You are acquainted?" Lady Catherine stared from on to the other.

"Yes. I was lately in Hertfordshire with friends." Darcy stammered, his eyes not leaving Elizabeth.

Lady Catherine smiled distractedly. "Then you have met the renowned Mr. Bennet? Does he live up to all I have heard from Mrs. Collins?"

"You know Mrs. Collins?' Darcy asked, eyes locked on Elizabeth.

Lizzy wrung her hands. "She and I have been friends all our lives. She is the daughter of Sir William Lucas."

"I had no idea." Darcy turned to Lady Catherine. "I have met Mr. Bennet, and I am quite certain he exceeds anything you have heard about him."

"I am pleased to hear my confidence has not been misplaced. Miss Bennet is here as a friend to Anne to help her gain those accomplishments she needs before she marries."

Darcy turned white.

Elizabeth clutched the back of a nearby chair.

Anne burst into the room. "Fitzwilliam!" she exclaimed. "The servants told me you were come!"

"Miss de Bourgh?" Elizabeth whispered, swallowing hard.

"Miss Bennet, may I present my cousin, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Has my mother told you yet? We are to be married!"


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Elizabeth felt the blood drain from her face as an unseen noose tightened around her throat. The edges of her vision turned grey and she gulped a deep breath and clutched the chair, her knees melting under her weight.

"Are you well, Miss Bennet?" Lady Catherine inquired as she half-rose from her seat, glancing briefly at Darcy.

"Ah, yes, I am fine, thank you," Lizzy stammered with barely enough breath to speak. "I had no idea I would meet Miss de Bourgh's betrothed so soon." She threw a scathing gaze at Darcy.

Lady Catherine's eyes narrowed, and she paused, watching intently. "Nor did we, Miss Bennet. Mr. Darcy's visit has taken us all by surprise." She fixed her attention upon her daughter. "I am afraid, Anne, your cousin is the bearer of bad tidings. Come in and hear what he has to say. You too, Miss Bennet. I am afraid we shall have to ask your assistance as well."

Somehow, Elizabeth found a seat before her legs turned into a quivering mass of calves' foot jelly. Darcy's recitation of the news from Matlock sounded far off, echoing lifelessly in her ears, just out of reach of the torment screaming in her mind.

"When should we plan to have the wedding?" Lady Catherine asked.

_Wedding?_ The word pulled Lizzy back into the conversation with a head-snapping jolt.

"I will have my vicar acquire a special license. Will six weeks be sufficient?" Lady Catherine turned to Darcy who was trying to respond, but she waved him off. "I know, I know, a modest affair is all Georgiana needs, but think of Anne."

Lizzy was certain someone would notice the wheezing breath she battled to draw. _He is the man who Anne is to marry? He bought Wickham's commission and…Lydia. He made me an offer, but he was already engaged. How …_

"A double wedding!" Anne clapped her hands. "Oh, how lovely! Is that not the most delightful plan, Miss Bennet?"

"Oh…certainly…yes," Lizzy stammered instinctively, without knowing what came from her lips.

Anne turned towards Darcy, reaching for his arm, but not finding it. "I am so happy you have finally resigned yourself to live at Rosings. You will come to love it here as much as I. It is ever so much nicer than Pemberley—"

"I have done no such thing." Darcy jumped to his feet and out of Anne's reach. "We are not—"

. "Well, I am certainly not going to leave my home for Derbyshire!" Anne's hands flew to her hips

"Anne!" Lady Catherine said sharply.

Anne flinched, and her head came up sharply.

Lizzy glance from Anne to Lady Catherine to Darcy and back to Anne before Darcy could meet her gaze.

"I understand you are not easy with the prospect. But a wife must respect her husband's wishes; although, I would be pleased for you both to live here." Lady Catherine turned a narrow stare on Darcy, but he returned it in kind. She sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. "Miss Bennet has agreed to help you to make the transition. She will help ready you to leave Rosings."

"Lady Catherine…" Lizzy began but Darcy caught her eyes and she lost her ability to speak.

"How dare you!" Anne sprang to her feet and stalked toward Elizabeth. "How could you conspire against me in such a way? I trusted you. I called you my friend." Her shriek rattled the windows and frightened the dormouse so much he skittered into his hole in the wall. "You are not my friend, you two-faced—"

"Enough! Control yourself, Anne. This display is most unseemly. There is no conspiracy." Lady Catherine rapped the table with her fan. "I asked her to help you. You must go to Pemberley."

"I will not!" Anne stomped so hard that Lizzy could feel it through the soles of her slippers. "I have told you that."

Darcy dragged his hand down his face, grumbling.

Lady Catherine pushed off her desk and slowly rose in a cloud of crinkling silk. "You _will_do as you are told. You must be married. The only way…"

"But there is no reason I should have to…" Anne pumped her fists in the air.

"Excuse me," Lizzy jumped up, clutching the back of her chair when her knees protested her weight, "this seems to be a family matter. I should allow you to discuss this in private." She did not wait to be dismissed before she fled the room.

Darcy froze, his entire being focused on the woman who the servant ushered in. _Elizabeth? No…no! No! No! You cannot be here, not with Anne!_ He heard himself stammer her name and a few other things that poured from his lips of their own volition. But what would it matter what he said? She was here, and she _knew_. All the hatred he felt for himself over Wickham's appearance in Meryton resurfaced with a ferocity that nearly drove him to his knees.

_Married…Aunt Catherine is talking about…no! No! I am not, never have been…but Elizabeth does not know. Bingley, Richard, they were right. I should have told her._ He dragged his hand over his face, sneaking a glance at her through his fingers. _She hates me. Of course she does. Who would not?_

As she leapt up and ran from the room, his eyes tracked her. He clutched the arms of the chair, the fabric giving way under his right hand. His fingertips met a tack. He ground his teeth at the pain, welcoming it as the initial reward for his despicable behavior.

At the edges of his awareness he knew his cousin and aunt exchanged shrieking demands, one parrying as the other thrust with rapier words. A fan rapped, a foot stomped, furniture creaked, closing in on him, suffocating him until he roared something to silence the yammering women and stalked from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Lizzy's ribs burned against the distress that bound her tighter than any corset could, her back held stiff and straight by invisible boning as she panted shallow, agonizing breaths. She dashed blindly from the house into the garden, eyes blinded by tears that she kept rubbing away. She ran until nausea threatened and she could not go further, collapsing into a heap beside a large tree.

Sobs gathered in the back of her throat mixing with the bile into a cloying mass that threatened to choke her. She coughed and sputtered until it cleared enough for her to wheeze in breath. Tears flowed down her cheeks. She rubbed them away with her sleeve, despising them. _I am a fool! I knew it could not be! How could I have allowed myself to believe such a thing?_ Her arms wound around her waist, and she rocked silently, biting back the cries that begged to be given voice.

Hot breath struck the back of her neck. Scrambling away, she discovered Darcy's black stallion trying to nibble at her hair.

"Surtur!" she wheezed and clambered to her feet. She clutched his cheeks and pressing her forehead to his.

The horse nickered and snorted into her hair.

Before she could give it a second thought, she guided him to a convenient rock and climbed on it to reach his stirrup. She vaulted to his back. She leaned forward on his neck in a familiar signal, and he began to run. The stallion galloped across the estate. She cared not where he took her as long as it was away far away from Rosings.

_What is fifty miles of good road to you? You could take me home in just a few hours and it could be as though I had never come to this horrible place. I belong at Longbourn, not here. Why did I ever leave?_

She did not know how far they had gone when Surtur finally slowed and stopped at a stream. She slid down nearly unable to feel her limbs and sank to the ground in a boneless mass. Thoughts whirled too fast for her to capture a single one. She made no effort to control or even examine them as they flew past. Hiding her face in her hands, she bit her lip until it bled. The nightmare would stop; it had to, did it not? Then there would be time for reflection. Right now, she simply had to keep breathing.

Surtur nickered, then whinnied and pawed the ground. She raised her head to see a large bay gelding approach, then stop. The rider jumped to the ground and approached her. Her eyes were so bleary she could not recognize him nor did she care. But she knew the gait, the carriage of the man. Why could she not forget it? That figure was burned into her mind and would never leave.

"Elizabeth!" Darcy exclaimed, breaking into a run. "Has he thrown you? Are you injured?"

Anger flooded her limbs, propelling her up to her feet. "Your _horse_ has done me no harm."

Her clipped tones slapped his face. He flinched knowing she did not desire his presence. _I will not run from her. She deserves better than that._

He extended a hand to help her, but she refused it, flipping the dust and leaves from her skirt with a furious flick. She retreated a step, an angry glare challenging him to follow.

"I owe you an explanation." He frowned, kicking a clod of dirt. His eyes followed as it skittered toward the horses, disappearing into nothing.

"You owe me nothing, Mr. Darcy. The time for explanation has long passed. I have had all the explanation I need from Miss de Bourgh." Venom dripped from her words.

Though he could only see the back of her head, he knew the scowl she wore, her fine eyes drawn with fury. He drew a deep breath, fists curling at his sides. "What has my cousin told you?"

"A great deal. Of your sister and her ruin at the hands of a man you sent into the army."

Darcy nodded, a dark look on his face.

"Although it has not been said, I assume the man in question is the same Mr. Wickham who imposed upon my sister and myself." She turned slowly, eyes shooting accusations of betrayal.

"You must understand;I had no idea that he would act against anyone else. I thought—"

"It matters little what you thought, for it had no bearing on what he actually did. Apparently your family's name and reputation was far more important to you than the welfare of anyone else." She leaned forward and spat her words.

"That is entirely untrue!" He extended his hands. _I know Anne has poisoned you toward me, but please, please listen!_

"Not according to your _betrothed_." Her lips curled over the bitter word. "She also told me of her clever solution to your problem and her promise to spread gossip if you do not marry her. Apparently her character is not far different from yours."

He staggered back, knocked breathless from the blow her word struck. "That is uncalled for. You know my character—"

"She told me of your arrangement to marry, and of your argument and refusal to accept a bride who would not live at Pemberley." She paused, panting. "What does it say of your character…how could you make me an offer of marriage when you were—"

"Stop right there." He lifted his open palm in a vain attempt to stem the flow of her anger. "I was not, nor have I ever been, engaged to Anne. Surely you have heard enough from her to understand that the belief has been entirely on her side." He inched closer to her. "I know you are angry, but please hear me—"

"Angry? You believe me angry? That word does not begin to contain what I feel right now!" She threw her arms wide.

"Betrayed, deceived—" he offered, hands extended.

"Disappointed, used, toyed with!" she spat. "Meddle with the blind man's daughter— a safe enough pastime as there will be no one to avenge her!"

A firey knife slashed his chest. His face flushed with fury. "How dare you accuse me of such a thing! I have never treated your father with anything but kindness and respect."

"But what respect did you show him and his daughters when you bought that cur, Wickham, a place in the army and turned him loose to repeat his impositions on other hapless, stupid young women?"

"I had no choice. It was imperative I get him away from my sister. His…act…was revenge against me, and I could not take a chance of seeing her suffer further." He strangled on the last words.

"Really? There was nothing else you could do?" Her lip curled in a sneer.

"You know the law offers nothing of use in matter such as these. What do you imagine I could have done? Call him out to a duel? As satisfying as that might have been, I could not take such a risk. I had to protect my family, and breaking the law was not the way to do it." He raked both hands through his hair.

She panted har, her fury taking its toll. "So you took the easy way out, throwing money at your family's problem. If you had not allowed him to go free, neither I nor my sister—" Her throat burned as she rasped out the words.

"I had no way of knowing—"

"Really? You did not expect him to repeat his actions?" She could not look at him, his visage inspired revulsion.

"I told you, Wickham had a vendetta against _me,_ and he used my sister to get his revenge. It stood to reason that having accomplished his purposes, he would not do so again. I never considered—"

"That is the point! Do you not see? You never considered anything beyond your small circle." She whirled back at him, taking a half step closer, wishing she were a man. _Had I a sword myself right now…_ "As long as he was out of your sight, what bother was he to you? Well, Mr. Darcy, there is a wide world outside of your circle, and we _were_ bothered by him. But of course we lower classes can fend for ourselves; obviously, we are not worthy of your attention or concern." She stomped away. The sting of the ground through the thin soles of her slippers anchored her pain and helped her find focus.

He ran after her. "I am sorry, Elizabeth. I had no idea. You are being unfair. I was so concerned for my sister I never considered what else he might do, and. If you would just stop and listen to me, consider what I am saying, I am certain you would agree."

"No, I would not." She crossed her arms, refusing to look at him.

"Your father did." He caught her arm and forced her to stop.

"You told him?" she screeched into his face. "You had the audacity to tell him but not me? He could not have possibly absolved you—"

"But he did. He understood and said it was little different than the situation with his sister."

"He told you of her?" Lizzy swallowed hard; tears pour unchecked down her face. "Do not dare compare my father's sister to yours."

"Oh, really?" he snarled. "As I see it, I am being generous to do so. My sister's seduction was forced, and I did not banish her from all she knew. Our family has embraced her and the child, providing for them in the bosom of our homes. That is more than can be said for yours." He glared coldly, dropping his hand from her arm. "I know you are famed for your astute judgment of character, but in this matter not only are you sorely mistaken. Moreover you seem to be something of a hypocrite."

She staggered back at the verbal slap. "I am the hypocrite you say? Explain to me then, if your character is so gallant then, sir, did you consider how I might feel to know that the man who asked me to marry him was already engaged to another?" She dug her nails into her palms, wishing she could put her nails to better use.

"I am not, nor have I ever been, engaged to my cousin," he snarled through gritted teeth.

"Neither she nor your aunt would agree."

"My aunt deludes herself into believing she knows the business of everyone and has the right to direct the lives of others." He reached for her hand, but she snatched it away. "Surely you, the exalted judge of character, could discern that much. Bloody hell, woman, have you not seen how she runs Rosings? Do you really believe that I would agree to bind myself to my cousin?"

She tried to look away, but he pulled her toward him and leaned close to her face, staring into her red-rimmed eyes.

"Surely you know a stallion would not bind himself to a…a…"

"A wasp? A fox?" she whispered, unable to prevent the words from tumbling forth.

"Yes, exactly," he panted, imploring her with his eyes.

"Did you know that they believed you would marry her?" Her tone softened, her ire seeming to pour off her very fingertips. She glanced at the soft ground, almost expecting to see it puddled there.

He hesitated, hanging his head. "I knew," he whispered.

Cold fury flooded over her so suddenly she shivered as the icy tendrils replaced the burning rage. "And you allowed them to continue to believe that?"

"I told them they were wrong. I argued with her, but Anne hears only what pleases her." He ground his teeth.

"So you led them to believe as they did. You did not carry the point; you did not take the effort to prevail. Once again you took the easy way out. The behavior of a truly gallant man, I am sure." She wrenched herself free of his hand, shaking away the warm sensation of his touch. "Again it seems my family and I are the ones to pay the price for your ease."

"I told you I had to resolve family business before we could wed." He pulled his hand back and and crossed his arms tightly. "You knew I was not free to marry."

"Perhaps you should have considered waiting to ask until you were."

"Perhaps I should. I am not an impulsive man by nature. I allowed the urge of the moment to carry me." He sighed and frowned. "I did not deceive you, though; I was clear with you that there were complications."

"You certainly were up front. I am just not certain you could consider breaking an engagement a mere complication. " Her eyes narrowed and her voice dropped into gravelly tones. "Is that what you consider our…understanding…a complication?"

The stones in her words stung and scratched his face. "Damn it all, Elizabeth!"

She flinched.

"I told you I was not and never have been engaged to Anne. Can you not grasp this? I never asked her to marry me. I thought our argument over her leaving Rosings had settled the matter." He tried to wipe frustration away from his face, but know it was futile.

"Apparently you were incorrect and could not take the time or trouble to check yourself."

"Elizabeth!" he growled.

"You will not address me by my Christian name; I have not given you leave to call me that. It will not do for others hear you being so familiar—"

"We are engaged," he whispered, his heart clenched.

"Are we? If seems we are no more engaged than you and your cousin." Her foot tapped rapidly, crunching on the scattered leaves.

"That is not fair." _I know you are hurt, but you have always been one who hears reason!_ "Your father has given his blessing. He agreed that it was not wise to make it public yet."

"Because of _family business_! If he had any idea—"

"He knows." He scoured his face with his hands. "I told him before I left. He knows everything but the details of my sister's child and the plans for her to marry Richard's brother."

"He knows and is not appalled? How could he agree to such a thing and not tell me any of it?" She wrapped her arms tightly around her waist.

"He knew you would be hurt and wanted to protect you from it all, as I wanted to protect you from my aunt and from Anne." He took several steps towards her, but she recoiled.

"So a secret engagement that you will not admit to your family is meant to protect me? I fear this makes little sense to me. Not even a novel would attempt a plot so convoluted."

"I have told my cousin, Richard." He smiled weakly.

"Why did you not tell me of all of this? Did you think so little of me as to believe that I would not understand?" She rolled her eyes, clasping her hands tightly before her face, her voice so soft and fragile the slightest breeze would have torn through it.

"Perhaps I should have— no, I certainly should have. After Anne's promise to spread word of Georgiana's ruin if I did not acquiesce to her demands, I swore that I would not tell another soul until Georgiana was safe."

"You did not trust me."

"It was not a matter of trust. You must understand! I know you have seen what Anne is capable of. She is so self-absorbed she would think nothing of ruining the lives of my sister and her daughter to get what she wanted. How is it so different from your father's decision not to speak of—"

Her eyes widened and nostrils flared. "My father's actions are not under discussion right now; yours are."

"How is what I have done so different—"

"Stop changing the topic! That is not the point here at all. The very material issue is that you do not trust me, and I no longer believe I can trust you."

Her words hovered in the air between them, then crashed into him, cold and bitter as the winds ahead of a thunderhead. They stood staring at each other, both panting for breath.

Her own words echoed in her ears, still surprising her that she had given them voice. She watched his face as her meaning sank in.

"What is a marriage where there is no trust?" She shoved her hair back from her face, her cheeks burning. "I believe… we must consider our understanding… at an end, sir." Without waiting for a reply, she dashed past him, took the gelding's reins, and swung herself up into the saddle. She glanced backwards a moment, her heart fighting to pull her back to him, but she whipped her head around and kicked the horse into a gallop knowing he stared after her.

The horse's hooves beat a steady pattern into the ground. She focused on it, counted it, chanted it to herself, fighting to drive away the gnawing second and third thoughts that pounded at her mind. _I will conquer this. I must! What a goosecap* I have been! This nonsense of romantic love is a fiction for novels. I will not…_ Tendrils of doubt wound around her throat, strangling her breath and her thoughts into ragged sobs, drowned out by pulsing hoof beats.

He stared after her as he had actors on a stage, unable to comprehend the conversation that had just taken place. Her figure became smaller and smaller as the gelding carried her off into the countryside. His breath left with her, until he was an empty husk.

_I will not let this drop. I promised your father I would not hurt you, and I will keep that promise. I do not know how, but I will. I failed Georgiana. I cannot do it again. I will not fail you too._ He sank cross-legged on the ground, head bowed, and prayed.

*goosecap: silly fellow or woman


	30. Chapter 30

**Since I missed last week due to publishing deadlines, I'm posting two chapters this week. I am including a special bonus preview of 'The Future Mrs. Darcy, Given Good Principles Vol 2" at the end of Ch 31.  
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**Chapter 30**

Lizzy left the stable and turned toward the parsonage. She stopped after only a few steps, realizing the Collinses had been invited to tea at Rosings that afternoon and would be getting ready for the visit. Mr. Collins would certainly not welcome her intrusion now. _He is displeased enough by attendance upon Lady Catherine. 'My dear cousin, you must certainly be sensible to the extreme honor which you, a most undeserving individual, have been granted.' _She shuddered, his grating voice ringing in her ears._How pleased he would be if he could say that to my face. He would be even more pleased to inform Lady Catherine of my extreme unsuitability._

She pushed loose hair out of her face. _How am I going to return to Rosings now? Mr. Darcy did not tell them of the agreement we had, though. Perhaps he will not mention it and we can leave Lady Catherine in ignorance of the whole thing. Pretend as though it never happened._ A deep pain stabbed her gut. _I knew it could not be. I am not…he is not…oh what have I done? What am I to do?_ She choked back the sob that sat in her throat, suffocating her.

Resigned to the inevitable, she trudged back to the manor, hoping to slip in without notice. But a sharp-eyed servant immediately approached her and led her to the parlor.

_Of course, how could be it otherwise. __She _She

She ground her teeth.

"Her ladyship requests your immediate presence." The footman bowed and opened the door to usher her in.

Steeling herself with a deep breath, Lizzy edged into the room.

"Miss Bennet, I am not accustomed to my guests disappearing without notice." Lady Catherine snapped her fan closed with a flourish. "I most certainly did not anticipate such rude behavior from you."

"Forgive me, your ladyship; I should have left word with a servant. I apologize." She dipped her head and stepped closer, eyes focused on the elaborate patterns on the carpet. Her tongue felt as if it were wrapped in cotton wool, fuzzy and thick.

"Sit down, Miss Bennet; it appears there is much that needs to be discussed, and the Collinses are to arrive soon. I hope that we might complete our conversation prior to their arrival. I do not like to leave business unfinished before tea." Lady Catherine drew a silk handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her brow. She flicked open her fan again and fluttered it rapidly.

"What do you wish to discuss?' Lizzy asked, squaring her shoulders and rubbing her tongue against the roof of her mouth.

"You can be at no loss to understand the need for this meeting." She tapped her fan sharply on her palm.

"I am sorry, but I truly have no idea to what you are referring." Lizzy wondered if Lady Catherine could hear the tremor in her voice.

"Sit, sit, Miss Bennet; do not stand there like a quivering servant. You have told me enough times that you are not one, so stop behaving like a sulking scullery maid!" Lady Catherine rapped her knuckles sharply on the table, panting heavily.

Lizzy gritted her teeth, but slipped into a large, gaudily upholstered chair opposite Lady Catherine."Are you well, my lady?"

"As well as can be expected under the circumstances. All this carrying on is most disagreeable, you know." She pressed her hands against her abdomen and grimaced. "It cannot surprise you to know that my daughter's reaction to the truth of your visit did not improve after your untimely departure."

"It was to be expected." Lizzy bowed her head and pressed her lips together. _How could Mr. Darcy have expected anything but disaster?_

"There is no accounting for it; I do not understand it." She blew out a deep breath and set the fan loudly upon the table and leaned back in her seat. "I am afraid this whole incident has fatigued me most dreadfully. I fear I shall need to retire very soon." Lady Catherine gulped air as if she had run after Darcy's stallion. "I expected his support in convincing Anne to avail herself of the assistance you offer, but he turned on me. Can you imagine?"

"Hardly, madam. How did he turn on you?" Lizzy's face turned cold.

"He disappeared, as you did. When he returned, he was raving like a madman. He insisted he would not marry Anne, even if she were willing to accompany him to Pemberley! Can you imagine—refusing my daughter?" The handkerchief fluttered around her face to mop the sweat trickling down her flushed cheeks. "I am most seriously displeased."

"Indeed." Lizzy swallowed hard to flush the taste of bile from her mouth.

"He declared he was already engaged to another, some unconnected nobody from the country."

Vertigo wooshed over Lizzy. She scrunched her eyes shut and clung tightly to the chair arms.

"Said he should have put an end to this farce long ago—he called his engagement to _my_ daughter a farce. It does not matter. The issue," Lady Catherine sniffed, pulled out her chatelaine*and fumbled for her vinaigrette**, inhaling deeply from it, "the issue is that we must both bring everything we have to bear to work on both of them."

"What would be the point in that?" Lizzy worried her hands together, noticing every callous and hangnail. "It sounds like they are both quite decided upon their course of action. She will not have him under these conditions and he will not have her. What is there to do about it? Who are we to try to convince them to do other than they would desire?"

"Who are we indeed? How can you say such a thing? It is quite clear neither one of them is in possession of their right mind at this moment. Anne does not have any idea of what is good for her or what she needs. And my nephew!" Her hand flew to her chest and she gasped, wincing. "I cannot understand his sudden dereliction of his family duty. He has been raised from his earliest days knowing this was his destiny. I am almost his nearest relation, and entitled to direct him in his course of action. "

Lizzy turned aside to roll her eyes.

Lady Catherine leaned forward, eyes narrowing. "We must convince him that he needs to do his duty, and give up the wanton who turned his head in that godforsaken little market town he visited."

Lizzy ground her teeth, hot fury creeping up her neck and onto her cheeks. "I am not certain I can be of any assistance to you in this, madam." She breathed shallowly, the offensive words tight around her chest.

"Nonsense! Utter nonsense! I have rarely heard more good sense coming from anyone! In just the last few days you have proven yourself a font of good advice and wisdom, despite your youth. Who better to work on my daughter? Moreover, you are a prettyish sort of girl, just the kind to attract the attention of a young man. Perhaps my nephew will be more apt to listen to you because of your fine eyes."

"I am quite certain this is a bad plan. I cannot…"

"I will not hear another word." Lady Catherine brandished the folded fan like a rapier. "You agreed to help me with Anne, and this is most definitely part of assisting her—"

The butler opened the door. "Madam, Mr. and Mrs. Collins." He pushed the door open further and the Collinses walked in.

"We so appreciate your most gracious invitation," Mr. Collins bowed deeply and waddled in. "My father-in-law and sister were most sorely vexed to know they would be deprived of your delightful company when they left—"

"Yes, yes, do sit down, Mr. Collins." Lady Catherine waved him off and nodded at the butler. "Have tea sent."

Charlotte hurried to Lizzy's side. "Are you well? You do not look like yourself at all, nor does Lady Catherine," she whispered.

"Oh, Charlotte!" Lizzy gulped. "We must find some way to talk privately!"

Charlotte patted her hand. "We will."

"Do not whisper like that! I must have my part in the conversation!" Lady Catherine leaned forward and drummed her fingernails against the table.

"Lizzy was just inquiring after my father's travels, and if we had yet heard of his safe arrival back home." Charlotte glanced from Lady Catherine to her husband and smiled uneasily.

"And have you?" Lady Catherine flicked her fan open again and fluttered it around her face. "How strange for it to be so warm this time of year," she muttered.

"No, not yet, your ladyship. He is not an apt correspondent. I am sure we will have a letter from my mother soon." Charlotte sat close to Lizzy.

"How are you enjoying your stay at Rosings Park, Cousin Elizabeth?" Collins smiled, the grin of a cat eyeing an errant dormouse.

The skin on the back of Lizzy's neck prickled, and she suppressed a shudder. "I am—"

"Quite awed, I suppose." He looked down his nose at her. "I am sure the grandeur here is almost too much for your senses, is it not? How can one from a humble home like yours not be overwhelmed by the luxury and magnificence you are surrounded by here." Collins gestured to the room around him. "I can only imagine your gratitude and acute awareness of your good fortune in being invited here."

The coldness in his eyes stole the words from her. She closed her mouth slowly and nodded instead. _A jealous man is a dangerous one, dearest. Do not inspire jealousy, and if you see it, flee, for it poisons everyone in its path. _Her father's voice rang in her ears.

"You have been afforded an opportunity that _few_ have enjoyed." Collins scowled at her through narrowed eyes.

Charlotte swallowed hard and glanced at Lizzy, a worry in her eyes.

He cleared his throat with a grating rasp. "I hope you never forget the good fortune you have experienced…"

"Did you complete those letters I asked you to write?" Lady Catherine cut in, kneading her left shoulder distractedly.

"Yes, your ladyship. I have them right here." He fumbled with his satchel until he produced several neatly written sheets of paper and handed them to Lizzy. He waved at her to pass them along to Lady Catherine.

Lizzy cast a sidelong look at the papers. _He does have a lovely hand._

A commotion at the door distracted them all. It burst open, slamming back against the wall behind it.

"Is _she_ still here?" Anne demanded with a shrill voice, stumbling slightly as she entered.

"Of whom do you speak?" Lady Catherine asked softly, clutching her temples, her eyes squeezed shut.

"That…that…chit!"Anne stomped halfway into the room. "That deceptive, manipulative, horrible woman!"She parked her fists on her hips and turned as though to scan the room.

Lizzy leaned back, her face pale.

Charlotte looked from Anne to Lizzy to Collins. She reached for Lizzy's hand.

"I heard you! Where are you?" Anne stepped closer to the settee where Lizzy sat.

Lizzy slowly rose. "I am here." She pulled herself up straight, shoulders back and lifted her chin with more bravado than she felt.

"What are you doing here?" Anne crossed the last few steps to stand close to Lizzy.

"Joining your mother for tea." Lizzy's voice was tight and controlled, but her heart thudded painfully in her chest, loud enough that Anne must certainly have heard it.

"I do not want you here." Anne stomped her foot and tossed her head. A hairpin went flying and bounced off Lizzy's cheek.

Lizzy flinched and, with as much dignity as possible, removed the errant pin from where it had lodged in the neckline of her gown. "I believe that is your mother's choice, not yours." Lizzy cocked her head and tried to mask the quiver in her jaw.

"What have you done!" Collins sprang to his feet and rushed between Lizzy and Anne. "I cannot apologize enough for my cousin, however she may have insulted you, Miss de Bourgh. I am certain that your most gracious mother…"

"She has not insulted me! She has conspired against me in the most heinous of ways!" Anne screamed, tears flowing down her face.

"No, that is not possible!" Charlotte's hands flew to cover her mouth. She looked at Lizzy, clearly hoping for an explanation.

Collins loomed impossibly large over Lizzy, baring his teeth in a silent snarl.

Lizzy inched back, repulsed by the bits of his last meal that lingered between his teeth and breath that stank of stale tea and cheese.

Anne turned toward Charlotte, accusation in her voice, "Oh, it is not only entirely possible, it is also entirely true. She has betrayed my trust and conspired against me to force me against my wishes—"

"Oh no, Miss de Bourgh," Collins stepped in front of his wife's seat, "No one can force you to do anything, most especially something against your will. Please accept my humblest apologies on behalf of my cousin; I am certain that despite her rough and offensive country ways, that is certainly the farthest thing—"

"Stop your sniveling, Mr. Collins!" Anne snapped. "Do not treat me like a simpleton. I know precisely what I am talking about."

Collins recoiled, staggering slightly.

"Anne, you will stop this unseemly temper tantrum right now, and you will sit down and properly entertain our guests," Lady Catherine commanded. She heaved herself up from her seat and shambled unsteadily toward her daughter.

"How could you side against me with this devilish shrew who has insinuated herself into our home?"Anne's face screwed up into a mask of petulance.

"She is no shrew, nor has she insinuated herself anywhere. She is here on my invitation." Lady Catherine braced herself against the arm of the settee.

"How could you plot against me, Mama? I told you, I will not leave Rosings, not for you, not for Fitzwilliam, not for anyone!"

"You will marry your cousin, and since he requires you to live at Pemberley, you shall do just that. Miss Bennet will assist you in the process. Her own father—"

"I do not care what that old man is said to be able to do. I will do no such thing!" Anne pumped her fists. "I won't marry Fitzwilliam either. Miss Bennet has seen to that as well."

A collective gasp went up in the room. Lizzy grimaced and covered her face with her hand.

"Did you not know? Not only has that harlot turned you against me, she has stolen my betrothed!" Anne pressed her hands to her chest.

Lady Catherine rolled her eyes with a disguised huff. "Sit down now, Anne. You do not know what you are talking about. I will not have you spewing such nonsense any longer."

"It is not nonsense; the undergardener came and told me. I have promised him a reward for bringing me such information."

Lizzy bit her lip, tasting a drop of blood before she stopped.

"He overheard her talking to Fitzwilliam in the garden. Fitzwilliam has thrown me over for her! The little country nobody who turned his head. It is entirely her fault that he is not willing to marry me. It has nothing to do with where we live— it is all about her!" Anne launched herself at Lizzy, but Lizzy sidestepped.

Collins caught Anne as she stumbled, carefully righting her to her feet.

Lady Catherine shook her head and looked at Lizzy as though for the first time. "Is this true? _You_ are engaged to my nephew?"

"We have an understanding," Darcy's voice answered from the doorway.

"No, sir, we do not," Lizzy said, whipping around to find Darcy.

"How dare you!" Collins shrieked, stomping toward Lizzy. "How could you possibly pretend to such a lofty position? You, the daughter of one afflicted by God? You do not deserve to be a guest in this house, much less engaged to one of its blood!"

Immediately Darcy was by Lizzy's side, stepping between her and Collins.

Lizzy welcomed his towering presence to shelter her from her cousin's fury.

"What do you mean 'afflicted by God'!" Lady Catherine shouted, her face reddening and eyes bulging. She pulled herself to her feet and commanded attention. "How dare you—"

"Your ladyship!" Collins's posture crumbled into that of a kicked dog. "I only…"

Charlotte grabbed Lizzy's arm and pulled her away. "Come, we must leave now." She towed Lizzy from the parlor and out the front door. "Hurry! We should not be here."

"But, Charlotte," Lizzy tried to escape, "I must make them understand—"

"No, you do not want to be around Mr. Collins right now. I suspect Lady Catherine will be most displeased before the explanations are all out. You will not want to be in her company either." Charlotte tugged at her most urgently, surprising Lizzy with her strength.

"But I need to …"

"No, the worst thing you could do right now is to get caught in the middle of that hornet's nest. You will come to the house with me, and you will tell me all, now. I might be able to explain it to Mr. Collins, and perhaps we can smooth out this misunderstanding and put it all to rights."

Lizzy nearly tripped down the impressive stairway as Charlotte determinedly dragged her toward the parsonage.

_I am not sure anything will ever be right again_. Lizzy swallowed hard against the knot in her throat.

Charlotte pressed her head back against her chair and sighed. Lizzy had explained the entire story to her twice and still she kept asking Lizzy to repeat it.

Lizzy squirmed in her seat, eyeing the front door nervously.

"If anyone else had told me such a tale, I would have called them a liar," Charlotte said.

"I suppose it is rather fantastical when you put it that way," Lizzy clutched her temples. "I can hardly fathom it myself."

"A secret engagement? That sounds so unlike you. I can hardly believe you would ever consider such a thing, much less that your father would accept such an arrangement." Charlotte frowned and looked ready to scold.

"Charlotte, you should have seen the way Papa took to Mr. Darcy; it is unprecedented. He even allowed Mr. Darcy to guide him. I cannot explain the bond that developed between them. Papa trusted him entirely."

"I have never known your father to walk on anyone's arm but that of a family member." Charlotte's eyes grew wide.

"I know; I did not know what to make of it. Now I know why Mr. Darcy was so good with him. Clearly he understood what to expect from his dealings with Miss de Bourgh, although how he learned anything from _her,_ I can hardly imagine. Could you imagine her allowing anyone to guide her?" Lizzy pushed back curls that escaped her hairpins.

"He knew her from childhood and grew up around her, so he certainly would have been comfortable with your father, as well. He was expected to marry her, after all. Perhaps she allowed him liberties—"

"Do not say another word on that thought! I care not to consider that possibility. Ugh!Nor do I think it possible that even Mr. Darcy could ever take… Oh! It is too awful to consider." Lizzy swallowed hard. "He never told me! How could he have proposed to me when he was already engaged?"

"He must have been quite taken with you. He is known for being a man of great propriety. For him to make such a break is truly extraordinary." Charlotte tapped her chin with her index finger.

"Well, it is of little matter now. Our understanding is at an end." Lizzy tossed her head, trying to sound very confident.

"Surely you cannot mean that, Lizzy. It would not be wise to throw off a man of such great consequence." She glanced down at her hand, twisting the thin band of gold around her finger.

"One that is already engaged to another! Or have you forgotten that small detail?" Lizzy felt the muscles in her shoulders knot and pain stabbed up her neck.

"Is it so hard to believe that the engagement is only in the minds of Anne and Lady Catherine? It is clear that you mean a great deal to him if he has already told them of his engagement to you. If you have already accepted him, you cannot mean to break—"

"I most certainly do. I have told you for years that I would never marry. I am not fit for marriage, and this taste of society has just proven that to me all the more clearly." Lizzy huffed and sagged into the cushions.

"You cannot judge by Lady Catherine."

"I cannot? Truly?"Lizzy clutched the arms of the chair and leaned forward. "What better example of high society do I have?"

"You are being uncharacteristically impulsive. Has he offered you some explanation?"

"What does it matter? What possible reason can he give for…for…for any of this? He did not trust me! How much of this could have been prevented if only he had done just that much?"

Charlotte leaned back, shaking her head and frowning. "With how much have you trusted him? Does he know of your father's sister, whose plight 'tis not unlike that of his sister?"

"What do you know of Mr. Darcy's sister?"

"Miss Darcy told me herself when we met in the spring."

"I have said nothing about Margaret. But it happened before I was even born. How could it matter now?" Lizzy squirmed, trying to get comfortable, but the prickling sensation across the back of her neck would not allow her to settle.

"Does not Mr. Darcy deserve to know the family scandals of the woman he has offered for?" Charlotte's eyes narrowed. "Does he not deserve to know about Horace Carver? Did you tell him?"

Lizzy covered her face with her hands. "No, I did not."

"Why did you not trust him? What if he had found out from someone sharing remaining traces of gossip in town? How would it have been for him to hear _that_ from another?"

"It was so long ago. No one remembers—"

"People have long memories, particularly when remembering is inconvenient for someone else. You know that very well. Especially when a young woman is thought to have been compromised."

Lizzy's blood ran cold. "I was not! You know that— none of that story is true!"

"True or not, it does not matter. There are some who would believe it easily enough simply because of your father. Did not Mr. Darcy deserve to know the reputation of his future bride?" Charlotte's foot tapped rhythmically against the carpet.

"You know it is not true. How could you bring that up again?" Lizzy's chest ached and her stomach knotted. She wrapped her arms around her waist.

"The point is that there is a material reason why he would need to know something like that, particularly when he made you an offer. You are being a hypocrite of the worst kind, accusing him of the very actions you justify in yourself!" Charlotte crossed her arms tightly over her chest and tapped her foot loudly. "Lizzy, please listen to yourself!"

Tears gathered in Lizzy's eyes. She rubbed them away brusquely.

"You, who fears nothing, are afraid. I am certain seeing here at home has done nothing to improve your impressions of the married state. For that, I am very sorry. Be realistic. You are very well matched for Mr. Darcy. Marriage to him would be much better suited to your disposition. Do not use me as an excuse for this foolishness!" Charlotte extended her hand.

Lizzy jumped to her feet. "You do not understand! I am not fit to be his wife! To be anyone's wife! I am not. There is no point in arguing this any further. I am quite decided—"

The front door flew open, and Mr. Collins stormed in. "You!" he screamed.

Charlotte and Lizzy turned to stare at him.

"Mr. Collins?" Charlotte said hesitantly.

"How dare you pollute my humble abode? After what you have done to Lady Catherine! To her daughter! How could you come here?" he shrieked, stomping toward Lizzy.

"She is my guest, Mr. Collins." Charlotte's face lost all color.

"You will be quiet. I am the master of this house, and I will not have this slattern, this wanton, this harlot here a moment longer."

Lizzy could feel his hot, foul breath on her face.

"How can you make such accusation?" Charlotte wrapped her arm in Lizzy's.

"How else could a female such as herself—an improper, immodest excuse for a woman—attract the attention of a gentleman such as Mr. Darcy? She distracted him from his duty, from his promises to Miss de Bourgh! She is no better than an adulteress!" Collins grabbed Lizzy's arm and pulled her away.

"Unhand me!" Lizzy screamed.

"I will, when you are out of my house!" He dragged her to the door and pulled both of them through. "You will leave my house and never return. Remove yourself from the grounds of Rosings Park and stay away. You are not wanted here, and the next person who finds you here will have you arrested for trespassing. Away with you! Away!"

"It is the middle of the night! Where do you expect me to go?" Lizzy stammered and wrenched herself free.

"I do not care. It is not my problem. Just get away from my home and my wife. Do not show your immoral face here ever again. If I ever see you on these properties again, I will deal with you most directly!" He shoved her forcefully down the steps, where she fell at the base of the stairs, and slammed the door loudly.

Lizzy could hear raised voices within, but she ignored them. She struggled to her feel and tried to take a step, only to be stopped short by a sharp pain in her ankle. She fell to her knees and sobbed into her hands.

***Chatelaine**: A decorative belt hook or clasp worn at the waist with a series of chains suspended from it. Each chain is mounted with a useful household appendage such as scissors, thimble, watch, key, vinaigrette, household seal, etc.

** Vinaigrette: A small container with a perforated top, used to contain an aromatic substance such as vinegar or smelling salts, especially popular for women in Victorian era to combat the aroma from the waste products common in cities.

[b] Author's note: [/b] How many of you recognized Lady Catherine's symptoms throughout this chapter?If you did not, please check out:  health/heart-disease/HB00040 and heart-disease/features/her-guide-to-a-heart-attack. The life of someone you live could depend on it.


	31. Chapter 31

**Given Good Principles Vol 2: The Future Mrs. Darcy has just been released on July 2, 2012 . Please forgive the delays on my posting that the publishing caused.**

**I have included a bonus at the end of this chapter, the first chapter of The Future Mrs. Darcy, for your pleasure.**

**Chapter 31**

After several minutes, the chill night air penetrated the thin muslin of Lizzy's dress. _What am I going to do? How am I to get home? I have nothing with me. I cannot go back to the manor or the parsonage. I have no friends here… _Marauding fear gripped her, threatening to steal her away.

She pushed herself to her feet, cursing at the sharp pain in her ankle. She took a tentative step and nearly fell. A cry tore from her lips, an unwilling admission of desperation. She hobbled to the gate, clutching at the fence post and panting for breath. After a few minutes, she tested her ankle again, relieved that the pain had dulled. _At least he has not stolen this from me too. I will not have to spend the night on his lawn. _

From the corner of her eye, she saw a pair of deer bound across the moonlit pasture. _Mr. Clark!_ She looked about, trying to get her bearing on the eerie, silvery landscape. A sharp breeze cut through her dress, sending a shiver across her shoulders. _It smells like it might snow tonight. _Rubbing her upper arms briskly, she set out in the direction of the curate's cottage.

Several minutes later, she heard pounding hooves. She looked over her shoulder and shrieked at the sight of a huge, shadowy form bearing down on her. Stumbling on her injured ankle, she tumbled to the ground. A horse screamed and reared above her. She huddled, arms thrown over her head for the little protection that they could offer. A hand on her shoulder. A shriek in a voice that sounded much like her own—it was her own!

"Miss Elizabeth?" Darcy's voice resonated in the night air. "What are you doing out here, all alone in the middle of the night?"

She saw his face in profile in the moonlight. Her chest tightened, torn between relief and anxiety. The intensity of his gaze stole her breath away.

"You should get back to the parsonage, it is not safe for you out here, and it is far too cold to be out without—"

"No! I cannot!" She pushed him away.

"Collins is a fool, I know. Now is not the time to be unreasonable. Consider—"

"You do not understand, I truly mean that I cannot! He…he…put me out of the house… told me not to return…that he would turn me over to the magistrate for trespassing…" Her words ended in a sob.

"He did what?" Darcy shouted. He took her by the arm and forced her to face him.

"You heard me!" She tore her arm out of his grasp and clutched her self tightly. "He will not tolerate me under his roof any longer." Her cheeks burned hot, stinging in the chill breeze.

Darcy muttered several untoward phrases under his breath.

"Such language, Mr. Darcy!" she chided. "But of course you are not in the presence of a true lady…" She turned away, pulled her shoulders back and tried to walk away with dignity, but only managed a weak hobbling step.

"You are hurt!" He rushed to her and took her hands in his. "I must see you safe. We will talk about the rest of this matter more. I have not finished my conversation with you by any means. But now is not the time, and this is not the place."

"Mr. Darcy…"

"I am not at my leisure to argue with you now. I am on my way to get the doctor for my aunt."

"Oh no, another attack?" Lizzy's countenance changed, her mind racing.

"Yes. I must go…"

"Of course, go! I will see if I can get back to the manor to help. It is not far" Lizzy drew a determined breath.

"No, Anne would have you put out just as quickly as Collins did. She is not in her right mind at the moment. Nor will I leave you here. It is not safe. Come, you must ride with me. To the doctor's, then I will take you to the curate's house. I am sure they will receive you there. In any case, I need to call him to the manor after I get the doctor."

She began to protest, but changed her mind. "I will not delay you with an argument."

He pulled Surtur to them. She approached the stirrup, expecting him to help her step up into it, but instead was surprised at the feeling of Darcy's hands on her waist. A moment later, she felt him swing into the saddle and wrap one arm securely around her. The warmth of his presence penetrated the chill and eased some of the ache in her chest. He kicked the stallion into motion. The horse's powerful muscles bunched beneath her thighs. Suddenly they were racing across the estate, cold wind biting at her face.

On the frenzied ride, she could not hold a thought. The cold wind, the pounding hooves and, most of all, the heat of his powerful arm surrounding her, all drove conscious thought from her mind. At the doctor's house, she dismounted and hid herself in Surtur's shadow while Darcy hurried into the house to summon aid. The stallion snorted and pushed his head into her hand, demanding attention.

Her rational mind knew Darcy was only gone a few minutes, but, huddled against Surtur for warmth and protection, time crawled to nearly a standstill. Her heart pounded and knees trembled as she tried to contemplate her circumstance. Collins had thrown her out! How could he do such a thing? No civilized relation would ever treat someone that way! What kind of a man had Charlotte married? _And what kind of man have I rejected? _

Darcy thundered out of the house and helped her back onto Surtur. A moment later, he took his position behind her. "The doctor will be on his way in a few moments." He kicked Surtur into motion.

The stallion danced in place a moment, still unfamiliar with their combined weight, then plunged into a trot.

"Lady Catherine told me about her condition," Lizzy said, pressing back into his shoulder lest her voice be lost in the wind.

"Then you will not be surprised to know that her situation is very serious. I do not hold much hope right now." Darcy's warm breath caressed her ear.

"Why did you not send a servant for the doctor?"

His shoulders stiffened. "I could not stand to be in the house a moment more. My cousin is…intolerable. I am sorry for what you learned from her lips. I should have told you myself." He sagged against her.

"What is done is done. Do not speak of it anymore." She shook her head, her cheek bumping against his, the stubble rasping her face.

"We will speak of it, Miss Bennet. I am not prepared to let the subject rest." He pressed his heels into Sutur's side.

"But I wish to leave it be." She tried to look at him over her shoulder, but the stallion's gait prevented it.

"I am a stubborn man, and I will be heard."

"I am a stubborn woman, sir."

"So I have been told." He pulled her to him more tightly.

She knew she should object to this familiarity, but could not bring herself to fight his embrace, certain she would never know it again. Far too quickly, they were at the curate's house. Darcy banged at the door. Lizzy shivered in the cold air. He stood closer, pressing himself against her back.

The door creaked open, and Mr. Clarke appeared in his nightcap and dressing gown. Darcy quickly explained as Clarke ushered them into the cottage, calling for his wife.

Darcy sped away on Surtur. Mr. Clarke followed shortly on foot.

Mrs. Clarke put on a pot of water for tea and made up a plate of biscuits. "'Tis a shame about the Lady. She isn't such a bad sort once you get used to her. She was indeed overbearing, but her heart wished the best for her people." She pressed the biscuits toward Lizzy, not relenting until she took one.

Lizzy nibbled at the shortbread without tasting it. "You speak of her as though she was already dead."

"It is only a matter of time, lass." Mrs. Clarke landed heavily in her chair and propped her feet on the low table. "I tended her a bit after her last attack, and there weren't no doubt that the next would surely kill her."

"It is my fault," Lizzy gasped. "I have—"

"Killed her?" Mrs. Clarke shook her head and winked. "No, you have not. Not even you have that kind of influence, Miss Bennet. If you think you do, you have been in charge of far too much of so young a lass." Mrs. Clarke looked at her critically. "How long has your mother been gone?"

"Five years now." Lizzy looked down and set her biscuit on a napkin. "Does it show so clearly?"

"I'm afraid it does. You are far too ready to be responsible for too much. Does not your father…no that is right, Mrs. Collins has spoken of him."

"Does she speak of anything else? It seems the whole of Kent knows of him!" Lizzy rubbed her face with her hands, combing back windblown strands from her face. "Her husband is my father's heir, and will inherit Longbourn."

"That is not why Mrs. Collins speaks of you all so often." Mrs. Clarke chuckled. "She is fond of him and proud of you all. She cannot help but brag a bit, I think. I suppose. She is your cousin by marriage now, is she not? It is only natural to boast on your family."

A sharp rap at the door startled them both.

"Surely there can be no news coming from the manor yet." Mrs. Clarke pushed herself up from her chair and shuffled to the door. She cracked it open and gasped.

Lizzy rose. "What is wrong?"

"Mrs. Collins!" Mrs. Clarke opened the door further to reveal Charlotte, without any wrap, head down and shivering. "Come in!" She took Charlotte by the arm and dragged her inside.

The clank of the bolt snapping into place chilled Lizzy to the bone. She rushed to the entryway. "Charlotte? What are you doing here?"

Charlotte slowly raised her head, gulping loudly. Bruises covered the left side of her face. Her left eye swelled over a deep purple crescent. Traces of dried blood clung to her chin below a puffy split lip. She brushed tendrils of hair from a ruined coiffeur out of her face with a hand bearing more scrapes and bruises, pulling up the sleeve of her gown torn from the bodice at the shoulder, attached by only a few threads.

"What happened?" Lizzy wrapped her arm around Charlotte and led her into the front room.

Charlotte's lip quivered and her breath shuddered.

"You were not put upon on your way here, were you?" Mrs. Clarke said, clucking her tongue, making it more of a statement than a question. She poured a cup of tea and pressed it into Charlotte's hands.

Charlotte stared into the cup with empty eyes, the cup rattling against the saucer in her trembling hands. Tears welled up and spilled over, eventually dripping into the tea.

"Mr. Collins?" Lizzy whispered.

Charlotte pressed her hand over her abdomen. "I felt the baby, Lizzy," she whispered before uncontrollable sobs poured out. She covered his face with her hands and huddled into her lap.

Lizzy wrapped her arms around Charlotte and drew her close. Mrs. Clarke dropped a blanket around Charlotte's shoulders and hugged her from behind.

Charlotte's tears soaked Lizzy's shoulder. "How could he do this?" Lizzy whispered through gritted teeth.

"He has been angry before," Charlotte's strained words were difficult to hear amidst her sobs, "but I have never seen him this way. He has never…never…"

"Struck you?" Lizzy pulled back to look at her.

"No, I thought he might once or twice, though." Charlotte shook her head vigorously. "I told him I was with child. He suddenly became so angry. I have never seen such fury. He…he," she fumbled for a handkerchief. "He was furious that I could have exposed our unborn child to an influence such as you!" Charlotte raised her head and looked into Lizzy's eyes. "He said that even looking upon you was an abomination, and that I must not ever contact you again, lest our child be harmed."

Lizzy ground her teeth, biting her tongue so hard she tasted blood.

"I did not argue with him; there was no point. I just nodded and agreed. Then he was called away back to the manor." Charlotte wrapped her arms over her abdomen and rocked slightly.

Mrs. Clarke moved to sit beside Charlotte on the settee. She took one of Charlotte's hands and held it hard.

"He came back just a little while ago. He says Lady Catherine will not make it through the night. According to him, it is my fault!" She scoured tears from her cheek with her sleeve

"How on earth can he say that?" Lizzy's eyes bulged.

"He says that I invited you, Lizzy, and it was you who pushed her to this point. So it is my fault for bringing you here to…to…kill her." She quivered, struggling to contain another sob.

Lizzy rubbed her back. "And he raised his hand against you—"

"To punish me for bringing you here and to make sure that I never invited—" Charlotte crumpled onto Mrs. Clarke's lap, wracked by heaving cries.

Lizzy and Mrs. Clarke exchanged dark glances. Once Charlotte calmed slightly, Mrs. Clarke said, "Well, you just plan on staying here, Mrs. Collins. You'll not be going back to the parsonage for quite some time, I would say. We will find some way to get you back to your family, now. This is no place for a woman in your delicate condition."

"No, it is not." Lizzy rubbed Charlotte's back. "We will find a way to get you away from here."

Charlotte pushed herself up on her elbows. "But he is my husband. I am bound to him. Oh, Lizzy, you were right. I should never have…"

"Regrets will do no good. We must move forward and try to figure out what to do now, how to remedy this. I know my father will not condone the heir of Longbourn behaving in such a fashion. Perhaps there is some way for Papa to sanction him."

"You know what he thinks of your father!"

"I know." Lizzy frowned. "It was a very foolish thought. We are all too tired to think clearly now. Come, we should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is likely to be a very difficult one, and we must face it with all our resources available to us."

Mrs. Clarke showed them to a cozy room where they wrapped themselves with rough blankets and slept a troubled slumber.

The first lights of dawn faded into late morning, then noon, before Lizzy and Charlotte finally rose. They tried to help each other straighten the creases out of their dresses, but soon gave up the hopeless effort.

Charlotte paused at the mirror to examine her face. "Oh dear, I will have to keep to the house until this clears. I have never been an adept liar." She sighed and turned away from the dressing table.

"You do not mean to go back to the parsonage, do you?" Lizzy gasped.

"It is my home." Charlotte's shoulders rose and fell with a twitch.

"No, you cannot. I fear for your safety. Remember you fled from the house last night. He will not be any more pleased with you this morning than he was then. I am sure Mrs. Clarke will agree." Lizzy found a hairbrush on the dressing table and began brushing Charlotte's hair.

"But—"

"You have your child to think of as well. If he hurts you, what will he do to your little one?" Lizzy set the brush aside and began to plait Charlotte's thick hair, wound it along the crown of her head and fastened it securely. "Do you wish your child to be exposed to such anger and violence? What will that do to the baby?"

"I do not know. I do not know." She swallowed back something that must have been distasteful.

"Come, you look so peaked. You need to eat." She led Charlotte out and found Mrs. Clarke sitting with her husband at the dining table.

They turned and rose when their guests entered. Both wore grim expressions.

"Lady Catherine?" Lizzy bit her lip.

Mr. Clarke nodded and scratched his head. Rumpled grey hairs stuck out awkwardly along his temple. "She passed just a few hours ago."

"I am sorry to hear that," Charlotte whispered, and slumped into a chair.

Lizzy gasped. "Oh my, I should not have been so—"

"Do not allow yourself to think that way, Miss Bennet." Mr. Clarke gave her a look much like her father's stern warnings. "Nothing you did or failed to do had any bearing on this turn of events. Do not be deceived into misplaced guilt."

Lizzy sighed and slid into a chair beside Charlotte. "How is Miss de Bourgh?"

"Very distraught." Mr. Clarke blew out a deep breath. "Very distraught, indeed. Mr. Collins remained at the manor to offer comfort. She was arguing with Mr. Darcy when I left - something about whether he should continue on his journey to the continent or stay here at Rosings instead. I am afraid it does not look like a good situation."

Mrs. Clarke patted Charlotte's arm. "You look like you are about to cast up your accounts*, dear. Let me get you some tea and toast. That should settle your stomach a bit."

Charlotte smiled weakly and swallowed. "Thank you, yes, I would appreciate it."

Mr. Clarke stared at her.

Charlotte blushed and turned to hide her left cheek.

"Forgive me for gawking, Mrs. Collins, but I do not like what I am seeing." He leaned closer, his hands braced on the table. "Did your husband give you those marks?"

Charlotte bowed her head and stared at her hands. "He was very angry last night."

"That is no excuse. I do not care what the law says, this is wrong." He scowled, cocking his head and straining to get a better glimpse.

"He is my husband." Charlotte's voice was a thin wisp that could shatter at any moment.

"Who should be a protector you trust!" He slapped the table. "I have no doubt he learned behavior at his own father's knee. I will not stand for seeing him teach this to his own son. Please, Mrs. Collins, do not return to him until I have had an opportunity to get through to him." He looked toward the window. "Excuse me a moment. He went to the door and admitted Darcy.

"What news have you, sir?" Mr. Clarke asked, returning to his chair.

Darcy shook his head as he joined them at the simple table. "It is not good." He looked at Lizzy. "With my Aunt's passing, Anne is hysterical. She blames you, Miss Bennet, for her mother's demise. Her feelings are little more charitable toward you, Mrs. Collins. I have done my best to convince her otherwise, but she is of no mind to listen right now." Darcy parked his elbows on the table and scrubbed his face with his hands.

"I am sorry for your loss, sir." Lizzy said softly.

"Thank you, Miss Bennet, but my cousin's loss is far greater, and she is only making it worse by throwing off all sensible counsel. Forgive me, Mrs. Collins…" He saw Charlotte's face for the first time. His jaw dropped. "That cur! He did not—"

Lizzy nodded somberly.

"That is the last straw! I cannot allow such a blackguard to stand alongside Anne."

"You have little choice." Mr. Clarke shook his head. "She has made her decision, and you have little say in the matter. Not to mention, as I understood, you have a ship leaving from Dover soon."

"Unfortunately, that is true. I must leave directly if I am to bring the news to London and still make passage." He took the tea Mrs. Clarke handed to him and turned to Lizzy. "I must satisfy myself that you, both of you, are safe. Clearly you cannot stay here."

Lizzy nodded stiffly. "I am afraid you are correct, we cannot stay. I will send an express to my father, and he will send a carriage for us."

"That will take days to arrange. I am not content to leave you here for that long. Forgive me, but I do not trust Mr. Collins or Anne in their current states. If you will permit me, I will arrange for one of my aunt's carriages to take you to London. As I understand, you have relations there?"

Lizzy glanced at Charlotte. "My aunt and uncle live in Cheapside, sir. I am sure they will be most willing to take us in."

"Excellent. I will see you safely there, as I must bring the news to Matlock House." Darcy chewed his lower lip, eyes on the table.

Mrs. Clarke shared a knowing glance with her husband.

"Is Mr. Collins still at Rosings?" Mr. Clarke asked.

"I expect he will be for some time." Darcy turned toward Charlotte.

"Then, we should get you to the parsonage to pack for your trip." Mrs. Clarke pushed back from the table.

Mr. Clarke followed. "If you will forgive me, I do not feel safe allowing them to go by themselves."

Darcy rose and bowed. "Certainly, I must be going soon myself." He turned back to Lizzy. "I took the liberty of asking the housekeeper to see your trunks packed and sent here."

"Thank you, that was very considerate."

They watched as Charlotte and the Clarkes left.

Darcy offered her his arm. "Please, Miss Bennet, would you walk in the garden with me for a moment?"

She nodded and followed him out, stopping as soon as the door shut behind them. "Thank you so much for your assistance, sir. I can hardly fathom this turn of events. I have never known a gentleman—"

Darcy grumbled "Forgive me, but your cousin is no gentleman, despite the status his position might grant him."

"I am afraid I agree with you. This is most unexpected, and I fear I was in no way prepared to deal with it. I am deeply indebted to you for your assistance." She smiled and looked up at him.

"I am very glad to offer what I can." He broke the intimacy of their gaze and began to walk, turning his eyes to the path ahead. "I hope then, you will not think me too forward in asking a favor from you."

"What might I do for you?" She tried to find the spot on the ground he focused on and share it with him.

"My aunt was in the process of planning my sister's wedding. With my uncle's condition, I am sure you understand the necessity for it to be accomplished quickly."

"I do." She sighed, glancing toward the parsonage.

"You are wondering what my sister's thoughts on the marriage are." He peered at the three figures approaching the distant cottage. "You will be pleased to hear, my sister is content. After what she has been through, she is satisfied with a man she can trust, and she does trust Andrew. They were always good friends before this sad business, and have become closer though their correspondence during his absence. It is an agreeable situation for them both."

"I am to glad to hear that." She suppressed the urge to glance at him. "I could not imagine you forcing your sister into a disagreeable arrangement."

"I am honored by your faith in me." He reached to cover her hand on his arm, but he stopped before their fingers touched. "I wish for her happiness. That is why I must ask your assistance. Since the wedding can no longer take place here at Rosings, we must plan for it in London."

"What do you wish me to do?" She peeked up at him and had to quickly turn away, lest she be caught in the tenderness of his eyes.

"My Aunt Matlock is far too preoccupied with my uncle to be able to plan a wedding. Although neither Georgiana nor Andrew desires a great deal of pomp and circumstance, I still would like for her to have a pleasing wedding breakfast for the family and a few close friends. I know you to be very capable, and I hope that you might be willing to handle the planning for the event. I have a sent Georgiana a letter explaining all this to her, and asking her to come to London. I have also written my housekeeper, explaining the situation to her and instructing her to assist you in any way you need."

"Sir, I am honored that you would trust me with such an important family event. Surely there must be someone in the family—"

"No, I am afraid there is not. My sister has lost so much, and I want very much for her to have a pleasing wedding celebration. I do not trust anyone in the family to honor what she would like and listen to her preferences. So, I would be most grateful for your help if you are willing."

Lizzy stopped and turned to face him. "I am honored by your trust in me. You are doing Mrs. Collins and me such a very great favor, I would be happy to help you in any way I can."

Darcy exhaled heavily, a small smile crinkling his eyes. "Thank you, Miss Bennet. I hope my journey will be brief and successful, and that I will see you and my sister in London soon." He took her hand and bowed over it. "If you will excuse me, I will gather my things and return with the coachmen."

"Of course, sir." Her heart ached as she watched him walk away.

*cast up one's accounts: to vomit

**Special Bonus:**

Given Good Principles Vol 2: The Future Mrs. Darcy

Chapter 1

_Early Spring, 1812_

It is a truth universally acknowledged that wherever men in red coats gather, foolish young women follow.

The militia regiment had arrived in Meryton a week ago, and it was high time for them to be introduced to the community. The mayor, Sir William Lucas, well known among his neighbors for his love of good society and a good meal, liked nothing better than to make introductions. His parlor provided the ideal location for the officers to make a good impression.

Lydia bounced and chattered more than usual during the ride to Lucas Lodge, a difficult thing to accomplish with all six Bennet ladies squeezed into the coach at once. Elizabeth had offered to walk and allow them additional space.

"No, Lizzy, I do not want you seen arriving on foot. Besides, your petticoats would be six inches deep in mud by the time you arrived. I insist you ride with the rest of your sisters." Mrs. Bennet finished with a flourish that meant the discussion was indeed over.

When the coachman finally handed her out of the carriage, Elizabeth hid her sigh of relief in a discreet, ladylike cough. Mama shepherded Kitty and Lydia ahead of her and scolded them for being so long at their dressing tables that the Carvers had arrived before them. Jane and Mary followed at a less anxious pace. Elizabeth lagged behind and shook out her skirts, more to enjoy a brief moment of silence than to repair the state of her gown.

Mr. Bennet dismounted his horse and passed the reins to the driver. "Perhaps you ought to offer to ride Bessie next time. You would escape the carriage, and your petticoats would remain clean." He straightened his top hat and offered her his arm.

"I hardly believe Mama considers the smell of horse more fashionable than muddy skirts." She took his elbow and leaned her head on his shoulder.

He patted her hand. "If you say so, dear."

The modest parlor of Lucas Lodge, papered and painted in the style of years gone by, brimmed with guests. Sir William stood at the center of the room. His welcoming voice and laugh, both a fuzzy _basso profundo_ rumble, filled the air. Young ladies surrounded him: Kitty, Lydia, his youngest daughter, Maria, and the fashionably dressed Carver sisters, Martha and Rachel.

"I dare say this will be a memorable season for Lydia." Mr. Bennet turned to Elizabeth with a raised eyebrow. "First, the Carvers take Netherfield." The corner of his lips rose ever so slightly. "I never thought to encounter another girl as silly as your youngest sister, and lo, not one, but two move into the neighborhood. Now the regiment camps among us. Any more excitement and she will be in danger of apoplexy."

A wry smile crept over Elizabeth's face. "Mama appears quite content. I daresay, Lydia shall be able to bear it as well." Her brow quirked, and her eyes flickered toward Mama in the far corner of the room, deep in conference with Lady Lucas and Aunt Phillips.

"You should go on, have your share of introductions while I partake of Sir William's library. He recently received a new collection that I am most anxious to examine." He winked and walked away.

She scanned the room.

Mary stood near the pianoforte and talked with Mr. Pierce, the hawk-nosed curate whose velvet voice left young ladies sighing. Her eyes glittered, adding volume to her quiet smile. Mary pulled her hair back a bit too tight and wore her collars a bit too high for most young men to pay attention to her. Only rarely did gentlemen take the time to speak with her. Mr. Pierce's popularity ensured others would soon interrupt, so Elizabeth sought other company.

Jane and Charlotte waved her over. She edged her way around the parlor.

"I thought I would not be able to make it across the room." Elizabeth sidled in close to Jane and Charlotte to clear the way for a scurrying maid. "Sir William has outdone himself tonight."

"You there, mind your step." Mr. Carver jumped aside. The punch glasses he carried in either hand nearly spilled.

Elizabeth cringed. Mr. Carver's nasal voice raised the hairs on the back of her neck. He moved like a portly heron, head bobbing forward and back, feet lifting a mite too high as he walked.

"Here." He pushed a cup at Jane's shoulder.

Jane blanched a bit and screwed her eyes shut. She blinked several times and turned to him with a paper-thin smile. "Thank you."

"I detest clumsy servants," he mumbled into his cup. "Gah, this is too sweet." He smacked his lips.

"I will inform my mother, sir." Charlotte nodded amiably, but a tiny "V" shaped crease deepened between her eyes.

"Be sure and do that. I wish to sit. Miss Bennet?" He took Jane by the elbow and guided her to a pair of chairs near the fireplace.

"At least his sisters are more agreeable." Elizabeth huffed. Her nostrils flared ever so slightly.

"Jane finds his company pleasant."

"She bears it well enough, I suppose, though I detect no symptoms of peculiar regard in her demeanor." Elizabeth pulled herself up and peered down her nose to ape any one of a number of women they both knew.

"Lizzy!" Charlotte snickered behind her hand. "He will hear you."

"Not likely. Look how he glowers at his sisters."

"They stand far too close to those officers." Charlotte's lips pulled tight. "At least Lydia and Maria keep a more proper distance."

Elizabeth rubbed the back of her neck. "I do not expect that to last very long."

Charlotte chewed her knuckle "No, it will not." She pointed her chin at the pianoforte.

Lydia skipped toward Mary, three lieutenants and an ensign in her wake. Kitty led a wave of young ladies behind them.

"I expect Mary will play a dance soon." Elizabeth wrinkled her nose.

"I thought you liked to dance."

"You know I am fond of dancing. It is having my toes trod upon I dread." Elizabeth glanced down and wiggled her foot towards the soldiers' boots. "Imagine the attack those hessians might wreak upon one's slippers."

Charlotte pressed the back of her hand to her mouth. She trembled with the effort to contain her amusement.

"Look at them, tripping over themselves to ask our sisters for a dance. Such grace does not bode well for a jig." The corner of Elizabeth's lips twitched.

Mary played a few chords while Rachel and Martha Carver directed the officers to roll up the carpet. Elizabeth and Charlotte dodged other guests who hurried off the hastily prepared dance floor. The couples took their places.

Only Lydia's partner showed any sense of rhythm. At least the others laughed heartily at their own missteps. A good sense of humor was a most desirable trait in a man, and essential for a clumsy one.

Carver did not share their amusement. He sat beside Jane, a deep scowl etched on his face. She squirmed and scuffed her slippers along the floor. Her cheeks tinged pink, not the pale blush of pleasure, but the ruddy glow of discomfiture. Jane needed rescue, so Elizabeth set off on her mission.

"—I do not understand why a knight like Sir William hosts these ruffians. I could easily do without the whole lot of them," Mr. Carver muttered into his fist.

Jane acknowledged Elizabeth with a quick nod. "Sir William is a great lover of company. To overlook—"

"Stuff and nonsense." Carver flicked his fingers. "I will not condone their presence at Netherfield's ball next month. The regiment is most assuredly not invited."

"Are you not concerned with giving offense?" The color crept from Jane's cheeks up her temples and down along her jaw.

"A man may do as he chooses in his own home. You cannot mean to say—"

"Excuse me." Elizabeth tucked herself between their chairs to accommodate a woman of ample proportions as she struggled to get past them. "Mr. Carver, might I steal my sister away for a few moments?"

He crossed his arms and tore his eyes from his sisters to peer narrowly at Elizabeth. "Certainly." He rose, bowed to Jane, and stalked into a knot of twittering young ladies.

"I do not envy them." Elizabeth took his seat. "He is quite severe on the Miss Carvers. If his face becomes any redder, I fear he may do himself an injury."

"His concern for them is not so terrible." Jane peeked over her shoulder.

"Do you suggest other young ladies might benefit from…stricter supervision?" Elizabeth followed Jane's gaze.

Lydia sat amongst three spellbound lieutenants who listened to her chatter. She granted them all pretty smiles and coquettish gazes. Kitty stood a few steps away with Maria. Both exerted themselves to gain the attention of an ensign whose eyes were firmly on Lydia.

"Are you not at all concerned?" Jane asked.

"Papa is not alarmed."

"Mr. Carver—"

"You cannot please everyone, Jane. Mr. Carver is the sort of man who will always be dissatisfied with something. Since everything displeases him, why be concerned with any of it?"

"But—"

"No, he is a curmudgeon. Even Papa says so. Do not take his complaints to heart." Elizabeth pulled Jane to her feet. "Come, Sir William wants to make introductions. It will not do to be rude to our neighbor even for Mr. Carver's sake. If the officers are a bit boorish, still, what harm is there in the acquaintance?"


	32. Chapter 32

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**Chapter 32 **

Lizzy paced the room until a carriage pulled up to the cottage. She did not wait for anyone to come to the door, but met them before they stopped.

The driver jumped down. "Miss Bennet?"

"Yes." She nodded and looked over his shoulder, her brows creasing.

"Your trunks are already aboard, madam. I was instructed by Mr. Darcy to pick up you and Mrs. Collins. Is she here?" He peered at her, eyebrow raised.

"No, she has not returned. Perhaps it would be best to meet her at the parsonage." Lizzy stepped outside and squinted at the manor, trying to recognize the people she saw walking on the lawn. Tightness in her chest eased when she saw that none had Collins's distinctive stomping, lurching walk.

"Yes, madam. I will take you there directly. Are you looking for someone?" He handed her into the carriage.

"Yes, ah, no…"

"Mr. Darcy told me to drive on, and he would meet the carriage on the road. Said he had some final business to finish at the manor, something about a discussion with the vicar." He bobbed his head and returned to his station.

Lizzy's heart fluttered. Darcy was insuring their safe escape! Moreover, although she would never say it aloud, she was glad for his escort. Though short, the trip to London could be dangerous for two women, especially when they rode in a fine carriage that drew as much attention as Lady Catherine's. _ I am sure she has nothing that does not bear the family crest emblazoned on the side. _

Soon they pulled up to the front door of the parsonage. Lizzy pushed the carriage door open and jumped down before the driver could stop her. He looked at her quizzically, but she had no desire to explain her impatient desire to be away from Rosings. She knocked on the door and tapped her foot rapidly until it opened.

Mrs. Clarke peeked out, a look of relief evident on her face. "Come in, come in. We are nearly finished."

Lizzy rushed upstairs and found Charlotte sitting on the floor, staring at several open trunks. Piles of folded garments, books and trinkets surrounded her on all sides.

"The carriage is here," Lizzy said softly.

Charlotte looked at her, tears trickling down her bruised face. "I do not know if I can do this."

"Of course you can. You must. How can you consider any other course? Do you think your father would condone what Mr. Collins has done?" Her sharp tone cut through the somber air.

Charlotte cringed and looked up at Lizzy. "No, no. He said as much before he left, that he would welcome me back home, if…if I should decide to make an extended visit." She lifted a small porcelain figurine and wrapped it in a scarf.

Lizzy crouched beside her. "It sounds as if he was concerned over what Mr. Collins might do."

"He did not say as much, but perhaps he might have been suggesting…I do not know." Charlotte laid the bundle in the center of the nearest trunk.

"Your father has always found it more comfortable to hint at difficult matters than address them directly. Perhaps that is why he and Papa are such good friends— one is all manners, the other all directness. Much like you and I?" Lizzy quirked her eyebrow and closed the nearest trunk. "It is time to go. For the sake of your babe, you must. Mr. Darcy can only keep Mr. Collins occupied at Rosings for so long. We cannot dawdle."

Charlotte nodded, biting her lip. She pushed up off the side of the trunk and stood. Lizzy piled articles in the other, still open trunks while Charlotte walked to the closet and removed several more garments and threw them in as well.

"What else?" Lizzy asked, hands on hips, surveying the room.

"There are several things in that chest of drawers, and several table covers that I embroidered are downstairs in the press in the dining room."

"I will get them and direct the driver upstairs for your trunks?" Lizzy rested her hand on the door jamb.

Charlotte did not turn, her attention fixed on the drawers. "Yes, thank you."

Lizzy met Mrs. Clarke on the stairs. "She is nearly ready."

"Good, I fear you need to be away soon. I do not know how much longer Mr. Collins will be gone. We sent a servant to try and watch the manor, but I do not want to rely on the attention of a scullery maid too much." She took Lizzy's hand. "Take care of your friend, lass. She will need your support. Life does not deal fairly with women who have husbands such as hers."

Lizzy clasped Mrs. Clarke's hands. "Thank you for all you have done for both of us. I hope this does not cost Mr. Clarke the curacy."

"It is of little matter. This be the right thing to do. The Lord will provide if we are to stay here or move to another parish. If not, then we still have the interest on my dowry, and our daughter is settled well and has offered us a place with her. It will be well no matter what."

Lizzy watched her as she continued up the stairs. _I wish I had such faith. Will anything ever be well with me again? How can all of this have transpired? _

Half an hour later, Mr. Darcy knocked on the door. Mr. Clarke let him in, bolting the door behind him while Lizzy watched from the top of the stairs.

"Is everything ready?" Darcy asked, his words to Clarke, but his eyes on Lizzy.

"The last trunk was strapped on just a few minutes ago. I believe the ladies are prepared." Clarke glanced over his shoulder.

Lizzy nodded and beckoned Charlotte to join her. They hurried to the front door.

"Mrs. Collins, Miss Bennet." Darcy bowed slightly and gestured to the door.

Mr. Clarke handed Charlotte into the carriage, and they spoke quietly for a few minutes.

Lizzy stepped away, overwhelmed by a sense of intruding, and backed into Darcy. "Mr. Darcy…" She looked up at him, his eyes so intense she lost her thought midway.

"You are welcome, Miss Bennet. You offered my cousin a chance at a better life. I will always be grateful to you for that. This is the least I can do to show my gratitude." He tipped his head.

"No, sir, it is not, and you and I both know that. After all that has transpired, you owe me nothing, and most men in your position would offer me less than that. You are a most gracious gentleman to go to so much trouble for us both, and I will forever be in your debt." She tried to break away from his passionate gaze, but it was too powerful, and she remained locked in its spell.

"You are welcome, m'lady." He took her hand and brought it to his lips.

Her cheeks burned, but he gave her no opportunity to respond. He handed her up into the carriage and mounted his stallion. "Drive on!"

The carriage lurched slightly as the horses pulled it out of the shallow ruts in the front of the parsonage.

Charlotte and Lizzy tried to make small talk, but after an hour, they fell into a contemplative silence. When they stopped to change horses and refresh themselves, Darcy said little, though he continued to watch her in a way that both warmed and unsettled her.

The outskirts of London finally came into view.

"Mr. Darcy said that he sent a man ahead this morning with a letter for my aunt and uncle. They should be expecting us," Lizzy said.

Charlotte grunted something between an acknowledgement and a protest.

"You are not pleased?"

"I…I am embarrassed. I do not want them to see me like this." Charlotte hid her face in her hands.

"I know." _ Papa did not want to be seen by others for so long either. _" But you have done nothing wrong."

"I provoked him…"

"No. You, my friend, are a gentle partridge. A partridge does not provoke an adder. It is in the adder's nature to strike." She laid her hand on Charlotte's shoulder. "The Gardiners have met Mr. Collins. They will understand."

The carriage rolled to a stop at the house on Gracechurch Street. Three young boys and an older girl met the carriage. Darcy dismounted and handed Lizzy and Charlotte out of the carriage. The children crowded around Lizzy. Mrs. Gardiner emerged from the doorway and Darcy vaulted up the steps to meet her. They spoke for several minutes, then he returned to instruct the driver, who dismounted to deal with the baggage.

Darcy approached Lizzy, smiling fondly her cousins. All four children stopped and looked up at him. The eldest boy stepped forward.

"I am Thomas Gardiner, sir." He bowed smartly. "This is my sister, Miss Maddie Gardiner, and my brothers, Edward and Matthew."

Darcy bowed, the corners of his mouth just barely twitching. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance sir. I am Mr. Darcy."

The semblance for formality shattered when Maddie giggled. "Are you Lizzy's friend?"

Darcy did not answer, but turned to Lizzy.

She blushed and stammered, "He is a good friend of your Uncle Bennet…and me." She glanced quickly at Darcy.

The smile he had been successfully subduing broke free. "Would you permit me a moment to speak with your cousin, Mr. Gardiner, Miss Gardiner?"

Maddie giggled and blushed while Thomas nodded with innocent solemnity. They took their younger brother's hands and returned to their mother.

"I trust the journey was not too taxing for you or Mrs. Collins?"

"It was most pleasant, thank you. Those words do not adequately express my gratitude. I know it may be indecorous for me to say, but I have never been so thankful to leave a place in my life." She fought the urge to look away, calling upon all her reserves of courage.

He chuckled softly. "There is nothing indecorous in the truth, Miss Bennet. I confess I felt much the same way." His smiled faded and he pressed his lips hard. "I must return to Matlock house with news of my aunt, from there I will have to ride hard to still make passage to Calais from Dover. We still have a conversation to finish, but I fear, it must wait for my return."

"Mr. Darcy—" She shook her head.

"Consider it the payment I demand for the service I have rendered." He cocked his head, but the determination on his face made it clear he would accept no negotiation.

"If you insist, sir. I owe you that much." She blinked rapidly, her eyes stinging.

"And you will assist my sister?"

"I already gave you my word and look forward to meeting her. I know she is a very special young woman."

"On that we agree. I must go now, but I will return as soon as possible. My sister will contact you as soon as she arrives in town." He bowed.

"God speed, sir." She curtsied.

He nodded, then mounted Surtur and rode off.

Lizzy watched the stallion disappear down the crowded street, the bitter smells of the city filling her with loneliness and longing. Her aunt's voice over her shoulder startled her.

"Mr. Darcy's note surprised us this morning. We are certainly happy to have both you and Mrs. Collins stay with us, though. It has been far too long since we have had a visit from you." Aunt Gardiner smiled warmly, her eyes not lingering on Charlotte's face. "I had the maid make up rooms for you both. Little Maddie is so excited to have your company. She says she does not get to be in the company of real ladies nearly enough with her younger brothers underfoot." She turned to Lizzy with a conspiratorial grin. "But the boys are equally excited to have you. They still declare you the best story teller they know!" Her musical laugh rang out, driving away some of their weariness.

Aunt Gardiner led them upstairs with instructions to take as much time as they needed to refresh themselves, and informed them that tea would be served as soon as they ventured downstairs. Lizzy was soon ready, and knocked at Charlotte's door. Charlotte begged exhaustion and wanted nothing more than to sleep, so Lizzy left her and proceeded to the parlor alone.

She found the children waiting for her, and spent the next hour in the pleasure of their innocent company. They all vied for her attention, and she reveled in the experience, ignoring the ache in her heart when the nagging voice continued reminding her that these moments would only be fleeting visits, and such domestic satisfaction would never be hers.

She glanced up to see her aunt standing in the doorway watching them. She blinked and nodded at Lizzy, with a tiny conspiratorial wink. "Children, Cook has fresh biscuits in the kitchen for you."

The boys jumped up and dashed out, laughing and jockeying for position in the race to the kitchen.

Little Maddie turned to Lizzy with her best curtsey. "Will you come with us? Cook makes the most delightful biscuits."

"I think I should take tea with your mother. You would not want her to be lonely, would you?" Lizzy patted her cousin's shoulder. "A lady is always concerned about the comforts of others, and I know you are quite a lady."

Maddie's face fell a little, but she lifted her chin bravely. "You are right, that would not be kind, and I do so want to be a proper gentlewoman." She scurried off after her brothers.

Lizzy watched until the door shut behind her cousin.

"She is so excited to have you here. She has always wished for a sister, and thought you the luckiest person in the world for having four of them," Aunt Gardiner said.

"I wonder what she would say if her brothers were girls? I think then she would be happy to have a brother."

Aunt Gardiner shrugged, smiling, and led them to her personal sitting room. Decorated in pale shades of yellow and with restraint, it exuded tranquility. A small tea service was already set out on the low table between the settee and chairs, sharing space with a writing desk and a stack of ledgers.

Aunt Gardiner set about pouring tea, adding sugar as she knew Lizzy liked. Tears prickled Lizzy's eyes, overwhelmed at the sense of being so well cared for.

"Mr. Darcy gave this to me just before he rode off and asked me to give it to you." Aunt Gardiner reached into her pocket and pulled out a sealed note. She lifted her eyebrow as she pressed it into Lizzy's hand.

Lizzy's cheeks grew hot as clasped it in her hands, her trembling fingers tracing the unbroken seal.

"It seems like there is something you would like to talk to me about, dear." Aunt Gardiner sipped her tea. "Does your father know that this gentleman is corresponding with you?"

Lizzy looked down at the letter in her hands. "Yes… and no. I am afraid the situation is complicated."

"Is it now?"

"Yes. I mean father would not disapprove of the correspondence, or he would not have; but now, well… things have changed, and it is not so proper as it once was." Lizzy squirmed in her chair, a little girl under interrogation.

Mrs. Gardiner nodded and rubbed her knuckle along her lip. "I am certain you think that statement more enlightening than it actually is. It is not like you to speak in riddles. Why will you not speak plainly?"

Lizzy set her teacup down on the table and walked to the window, her hand playing softly along the fabric of the drapes. She watched several carriages pass by. "I do not know what to tell you, or where to begin."

"What is your relationship with Mr. Darcy? I thought you were in Kent visiting with Mrs. Collins."

"Mr. Darcy's aunt is, was, that is to say— she just died— she was Mr. Collins's patron."

"I see. So this is how you know Mr. Darcy?"

Lizzy pulled the curtain back from the window and peered out, counting the people as they passed. "He came to Hertfordshire with his friend Mr. Bingley –"

"That is the name of Jane's betrothed, is it not?"

"Yes." Elizabeth could hear her aunt's nails tapping against the polished table.

"Have you an understanding with Mr. Darcy? I can see no other reason your father would approve of you receiving letters from a gentleman."

"We did." The words caught in Lizzy's throat, like trying to swallow a thistle.

"Did? What happened?" Aunt Gardiner joined her at the window. "Lizzy, dear, look at me. All of this sounds so unlike you; I do not know what to think."

Lizzy slowly turned and dissolved into tears.

Ms. Gardiner wrapped her arms around her and held her until the sobs subsided. She guided them to the settee and produced a handkerchief for Lizzy. "Do you feel better now?"

"A little." Lizzy wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

"I have never seen you like this; tell me what happened."

Hoarse with tears, Lizzy poured out the story from the beginning until her flight from Kent. "I told him our understanding was at an end." She hid her face in her hand, covered with the handkerchief.

"It does not seem he agrees with you. I would hazard to guess that he is not at all finished with that conversation. His attentions to you and your friend make that quite clear." She tipped Lizzy's chin up and looked deeply into her eyes. "Are you certain of your choice now that you have had opportunity to reflect upon it, and upon him?"

"I…I…I do not know." Her voice was barely above a whisper. She wrapped her arms around her waist and rocked forward. "I was so certain when I spoke, but perhaps…oh, I do not know!" Her face knotted with the effort to force back more tears.

"I know you never thought to marry." Aunt Gardiner held Lizzy's hand.

"No, I am not fit—"

"Elizabeth!"

Her aunt's sharp tone made Lizzy jump.

"I do not want to have that conversation with you again!" Aunt Gardiner folded her arms over her chest and wore her best angry mother face. "You have not told him anything, have you?"

"No."

"Why did you feel the need to break off your understanding?"

"Because I cannot trust him," Lizzy whispered.

"Even you can see how thin an excuse that is, given that you have not been as open with him as you insist he should have been with you."

"That is not fair. It is not the same." Lizzy tried to sound petulant, but her voice only came out as pathetic.

"You do not even believe that. Do not give me that look. You have become far too confident in your character judgments, and, in this case, they have not served you well at all."

Lizzy crumpled against the back of the settee and glanced up at her aunt. "You think I was wrong?"

"Really, Lizzy? The very fact this young man has so discomposed you, all the while earning your father's trust, says to me that you have made a very rash and wrong judgment."

"What am I to do?" Lizzy bit her knuckle hard enough to leave deep marks.

"Take your mother's advice. Face your mistake and make it right. Find a way to talk to Mr. Darcy, and even if you do not restore your understanding, hear him out and allow him the honor of saying what he needs to say. The question is how to accomplish that." Aunt Gardiner's lips screwed into a thoughtful frown.

"He asked me to stay and help his sister to plan her wedding when she arrives in London this week." Lizzy clasped her hands together and lifted them almost prayerfully.

"And did you agree?"

"How could I not, in light of the great kindness he was doing us?"

"Then you will have an opportunity to talk with him. That is good." Aunt Gardiner nodded slowly. "I should go and check on the children. Stay and read your letter. Write your father as well, he needs to know all that has happened as well as your current plans."

"I should have considered that already; you are right. I will write him directly."

"You will find all you need in my writing desk. Consider yourself welcome to use it, but do not let Maddie see you. She has begged me for the privilege, but has not yet been granted it." Mrs. Gardiner left.

Lizzy wiped her eyes roughly against her sleeve, blinking to get the gritty feeling out, but having little success. She could feel the letter in her pocket, a sharp corner poking through the thin fabric of her dress. She reached for it, but hesitated. After several false attempts, she finally withdrew it, and turned it over and over in her hands. Her fingertips lingered over the wax seal and unfamiliar signet embossed there. She studied the mark, smiling at how it reminded her of the man who made it.

Her heart pounded thunderously in her ears as her fingers cracked the seal. The little sounds of unfolding the paper seemed impossibly loud, and she looked over her shoulder, wondering if the entire household could hear. But no one entered.

She pressed the paper flat over her lap several times, eyes fixed on the horses paused in the street outside. She focused on the echoes of their hooves against the cobblestone as they rode away. Voices of children playing outside filled the silent space and allowed her that many more moments for contemplation.

Finally the weight of the paper in her lap could not be ignored, and she permitted her eyes to drift down.

_Dear Miss Bennet,_

_No, I cannot call you that. Elizabeth. That is how I think of you, and I cannot force such insincerity from my pen._

_Dear Elizabeth._

Tears welled in her eyes and dripped down her cheeks. Her belly ached, and she rubbed her eyes with her fists.

_I understand that you are angry with me. I cannot forgive myself for letting you find out the truth of my family's difficulties in such an abhorrent way. It was an awful way to repay you for your kindness to my undeserving cousin. She has abused your friendship and good nature. For this, I am truly sorry._

_I regret even more my choice not to share my burdens with you. I should have done that, and I have only my old habits of keeping to myself to call to my defense. The one time I trusted someone outside to help me, it was Anne and her mother, and I discovered their help was bought at a very dear price. I convinced myself my silence was for Georgiana's protection, but perhaps it was for my own as well. The sting of my cousin's threatened betrayals is still very real to me._

_I understand why you may not wish to trust me again. Worse still, if word does ever get out of my family's scandal, any association with me could be disadvantageous to you and your sisters. I do not wish to be the means of impugning your good reputations. I fully understand your desire to end our understanding._

The page became too blurry to read, and she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

_I shall always regret losing your good opinion, for I fear once that is lost, it can never be restored. I hope that when I return to London, we might meet again as friends._

_I thank you for the help you have promised to my sister. I believe you will like her, and could become faithful friends. She is a good and sweet girl, despite what has happened, and I think you are one of the few who might truly look at her that way._

_May God bless you._

_Yours, FD_

Hands trembling, she folded the note and replaced it in her pocket. She tried to reach for the writing desk, but failed, succumbing to her grief to sob headlong on the settee.


	33. Chapter 33

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**Chapter 33**

Over the next two days, the marks on Charlotte's face spread and deepened in color; deeper purple joined the angry red-purples under her eye and the pale sickly yellow near her temple. The children were alarmed at first, but under the tutelage of their mother, learned to ignore the bruises and enjoy Charlotte's gentle company. In their soothing society, Charlotte's spirits lifted and, in Lizzy's estimation, she began to sound like herself again.

Though Lizzy often joined them, her own spirit felt cold and heavy. The children did not seem to notice the change in their favorite playmate, but Lizzy often noticed Charlotte looking at her with a most peculiar, intense expression in Charlotte's grey eyes. The scrutiny made her uneasy and tempted her to question her own judgment. She tried to shake it off, but it followed her around the room, a relentless hound that insisted upon her attention.

She finally shook the persistent irritant when afternoon tea had just been cleared away and Charlotte had taken the children upstairs with the promise of reading them a new story. Alone in the parlor, Lizzy tried to marshal her thoughts into some sort of useful pattern, but they stubbornly refused any semblance of order. She walked to the window and peeked out to see a familiar carriage pulling up to the front door. Her chest clenched so tightly, she could not breathe.

She rushed into the foyer as Aunt Gardiner closed the door behind two gentlemen.

"Papa!"

His coat was covered in road dust, and she could see spots of grime on his cheeks where he had tried to brush the travel dirt away. He turned and reached toward her. "Lizzy!"

She rushed into his arms and fought a powerful surge of tears. The warmth and security of his embrace overwhelmed her. After a few sobs, she managed to gulp back her tears, and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

"I fear you must have left a great deal out of your letter, Lizzy." Mr. Bennet murmured in her ear, rubbing her back. "I expected you to be glad to see me, but you are not at all yourself!"

Over his shoulder, Lizzy could see Charlotte coming down the stairs.

"Charlotte!" Sir William exclaimed, hurrying past them.

They stepped aside to permit him through, but Sir William's shoulders still bumped theirs on the way. Lizzy watched his reaction as he saw Charlotte's face.

He caught her face in his hands. "Was this his doing?" Sir William's fingers traced the bruises along her temples.

Charlotte shrugged, her brows knitted together.

"It is a bloody good thing he remains in Kent, child." He pulled his daughter close.

"Why do you not use Mr. Gardiner's study to talk?'' Aunt Gardiner ushered them away.

"Charlotte is injured— and at Collins's hand?" Mr. Bennet whispered, a dangerous note in his voice. "He has not raised a hand to you, has he?"

"No, Papa." Lizzy looked away, an inexplicable sense of guilt flushing her cheeks.

His fingers tightened on her shoulder. "Has he hurt you in any other way?"

Lizzy could see the tension in his jaw when he grated his teeth. "Not in the way he hurt Charlotte. I could have suffered gravely due to his actions, but Mr. Darcy prevented it."

"I believe I need to know the entire story, _now_ . Let us go to the sitting room, Lizzy." He tucked his hand into the crook of her elbow.

Lizzy nodded against his shoulder. The warm weight of his fingers on her arm felt comforting, grounding her in all that was safe and known. Her heart slowed and the pressure in her chest eased. She took a deep breath, grateful that, for the first time in days, it did not pain her to do so.

They sat on the settee in a sunbeam, and Mr. Bennet turned his face into the warmth, the light caressing the familiar landscape of his scars. Lizzy allowed herself the liberty to stare at him, and let the familiarity embrace her once again. Tears stung her eyes, and her throat tightened agonizingly.

He felt along the cushions for her hand, and twined his fingers in hers. "There is a story you need to tell me, my dear— a long, complex and convoluted story, I expect."

"That would be one way of describing it." She rubbed her temples with her free hand. "Oh, Papa! Every time I think of it, it seems more and more like a circulating novel or a bad dream. I still cannot fathom it has actually happened."

"The girl you wanted to help, she was a wasp, was she not?" He tapped his foot softly on the carpet, grumbling under his breath. His fingers along the settee's wooden arm matched his foot's tempo.

"I am not sure how I would describe her anymore." She drew her hand along her forehead and over her hair. "At first I thought Miss de Bourgh just a kitten, but how very wrong I was. Her claws were out and her teeth, too. So, I thought her a fox, but even a vixen is good to her pups. I dread to think what she would be like with children." She cringed. "No, you are right, with her temper and her selfishness, she is a wasp."

"And you were stung." His voice was so tight she could tell there was more he wanted to say but could not.

"I was, and what it worse, I allowed it more than once." She covered her face with her hand.

"You are so rarely wrong in your judgment of character; I am sure it was a difficult experience." He drew a deep breath, then released it and rubbed the back of his hand across his nose. "You paid dearly for your overconfidence."

"You did warn me. I should have listened." She bowed her head and studied the dust motes playing in the sunbeam just above her father's feet. The silence between them grew heavy and prickly enough to make Lizzy squirm.

"Are you going to tell me, or do I have to ask?'' His tone made her giggle. "It has been a long time since I have had to do that. You are usually the most forthcoming of my children. "

She balanced her elbows on her knees and rested her chin on her hands. "I am sorry. It feels so surreal—the sense of dreaming about a novel I have read… and I know I should be waking up… but cannot find my way there. I do not know where to begin."

"At the beginning is a good place." He cocked his head and lifted his remaining eyebrow, puckering the scars along his forehead.

She rolled her eyes with a huff.

"Ah, that is my girl. I knew she was in there somewhere." His chuckle filled her with comfort enough to loosen her tongue.

She smiled and leaned her head back, eyes closed, savoring the peace her father exuded. With a deep breath, she began to describe everything that had taken place since she had left Longbourn, to the point when she found Mr. Darcy in Lady Catherine's study.

"Did you and Mr. Darcy speak afterwards?" Mr. Bennet leaned forward, hands clasped over his knees.

"Papa, it was awful!" She wrapped her arms around her waist to contain the ache in her core.

"Why? What did he say to you? The two of you have always been able to talk so easily."

"Is it not obvious? We had words." She shifted slightly, turning her shoulder toward him. "I have ended our understanding."

He started, shoulders pulling back. "What ever for?"

"How can I trust such a man?" Her jaw gaped and forehead knotted so tightly her head ached.

"How can you not?" he said in a tone she rarely heard him use. "Did he not see you safely to the curate's house? What is more, he ensured your safe passage to London when he had no obligation to do so! It seems to me that he went to great length to protect not only you, but Charlotte, as well, and all that after you quarreled. As I see it, a man who would go to such lengths is most trustworthy indeed.'' He tapped his foot again.

She dragged her hand down her face. "Have you forgotten what he did to us?"

"What are you talking about? I have never seen him be anything but cordial, as long as he is not playing chess, of course." The corner of his lips twitched.

"I suppose you do not know how he bought Mr. Wickham his commission and turned him loose on us!" She straightened her spine and pulled her shoulders back. "If it had not been for him, Lydia—"

"Stop!" he snapped, sitting erect and slapping the cushion "You have gone too far."

She jumped and gasped. Memories of her father flashed through her mind and none resembled the man who had just rebuked her.

"You will not blame Mr. Darcy for what happened to your sister. He did not provoke that cur's behavior, nor did he have any hand in your sister's foolishness. If you must assign blame, place it upon those who deserve it— Mr. Wickham and Lydia, and them alone." His voice was heavy and low. The veins in his hand stood out as he squeezed the arm of the settee.

"But he should have thought of what Wickham might do to other girls! You cannot argue that he was culpable in that." She crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

"I certainly can. I do not know why he would think that Wickham would have repeated his actions elsewhere."

"It is obvious Wickham would try it again after what he did to Miss Darcy."

"My dear, that is only obvious in retrospect. There was every reason for Mr. Darcy to expect it was an act uniquely against his sister.'' He released the arm of the settee, fished his handkerchief from his pocket and mopped his forehead.

"How do you know so much about this matter?" She scowled at him, studying his expression carefully. She leaned in so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. "How much of it did you know?''

"Not everything , but much of it. He told me, after the flogging. Mr. Darcy felt tremendous guilt over what had happened." He steepled his fingers and tapped them together, the soft sound easy to hear in the stillness that had fallen over the room.

"He did?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Yes, but there was no reason that he should take such a weight upon himself. Wickham is the son of his late father's steward, and carries a lifelong grudge against Darcy. Darcy saw the attack on his sister as an attack on himself, so did not consider that Wickham might repeat his actions. I concurred with his assessment, and told him so. I believe he was relieved to hear that."

"Oh," she bit her lower lip, a heaviness dripping onto her in a steady, stifling flow, "he should have told me, though."

"He thought he was protecting his sister. I do not speak of my sister's experiences either. You recall, not even your younger sisters know." He laced his fingers together, his thumbs drumming against one another.

"But from me? Why would he not trust me?" She turned her back on him, wrapping her arms over her stomach.

"Did you trust him? Did you tell him about Horace Carver?''

"Certainly not. He had no need to know." Her heart raced and her breath became short.

"Really? Should he not know of his betrothed's reputation? Would that not be of importance to a man like Mr. Darcy? As much as his sister's experiences were important to you?"

Lizzy's cheeks burned. She pushed off the settee and walked to the window. Pulling the curtain aside, she pressed her forehead against the cool glass. "It was years ago, No one remembers, it does not matter now."

"Then why does the mention of it drive you to skulk in corners?"

"I am not in the corner."

"Lizzy!"

She felt her breath bounce back against the window, hot against her face. "I do not like to speak of it.''

"But if it was years ago and does not matter, then why should it matter to speak of it?"

"Papa!" She whirled, curtain still in hand, wrapping herself in the fabric. "I do not want to think about it."

He rose slowly, knees popping. He grunted and shuffled toward her, until he laid his hand on her shoulder. "It still hurts. I know it does."

She sniffled, biting her knuckle. "It does, so much. I thought it would not by now, but it does."

"It hurts to have your reputation marred, even through no fault of your own. Even though you did nothing wrong." He pressed his lips together tightly and nodded. "Perhaps he may have felt the same way?"

The lump in her throat stayed her words.

"And perhaps, just perhaps, he could have feared what your reaction might be as much as you feared his if he had learnt your secret?"

"Oh!" She covered her face with her hands, and the curtain fell away leaving a sudden chill in its wake.

"Is that a reason so unworthy of your trust?''

Her shoulders shuddered with sobs. He wrapped his arms around her and allowed her to cry herself out. She drenched her handkerchief, his sleeve and hers before they returned to the settee.

"Are you ready to pack your things and return home now?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Then we must speak with Sir William and ask his plans. I expect…"

She squeezed his arm. "But as much as I want to go home, I must stay for a little while longer, if my aunt will have me.''

"You have suddenly grown fond of London society?" He crossed his arms and cocked his head.

"Not especially, but when Mr. Darcy arranged for the carriage for Charlotte and me, he asked a favor of me. I must complete it before I return to Longbourn."

"What did he ask?"

She swallowed hard. "Lady Catherine had been set to arrange his sister's wedding. Since that is now impossible, and Miss de Bough is not up to the task, he asked me to make the arrangements on his behalf. Their uncle's condition requires that it be accomplished quickly.''

"You agreed to do this?" He raked his hair.

"After his great service to Charlotte and myself, I could hardly say no." She shrugged.

"Are you sure? You realize that Miss Darcy's intended is a viscount. I have every confidence in your capability, Lizzy, but this might be outside even your realm. I am afraid you have had little exposure to that level of society. You have never planned an affair of such distinction."

"I know, Papa. I would not have agreed except that Mr. Darcy assured me it was to be a very small event— a private ceremony and breakfast for only the family."

"Then why does he not leave it to his housekeeper to carry out, or even his sister?" He tapped his foot.

"I do not know. I expect… I do not know." She pushed a stray lock behind her ear. "He said he feared his sister's preferences would be overlooked if his aunt in London were to arrange things."

"Perhaps you should consider it carefully. It seems to me that it is a fitting occupation for the woman to whom he is betrothed."

"I told you, Papa—"

"I know what you told me. His actions do not indicate he is in agreement with you. You both need to talk; clearly there is much yet to be said."

She shook her head and looked away. "He said the same thing."

"You realize this will throw you into Mr. Darcy's company again, and he is likely to demand such a conversation from you. Are you prepared for that?"

"I believe so. At the very least, I must make good on my promise to him." She worried the handkerchief in her hand. "I wish to apologize to him; I fear I spoke to him most harshly and in a most unladylike fashion."

"I can imagine," he chuckled. "I know your temper, Lizzy. How long will you stay here?"

"Until the wedding. Miss Darcy and the babies should arrive in just a few days. Mr. Darcy believed his trip might take only a few weeks. His aunt recently had a letter from her son placing him just outside Calais. They have reason to believe he may still be there. If so, the trip will be of short duration. The wedding will take place almost as soon as they return. He has already purchased a special license on their behalf."

"You know your sister delays her wedding for your return. She is quite insistent that you stand up with her." He chewed the inside of his cheek.

"She told me as much in her last letter, and I have promised her that I will." Lizzy fidgeted and plucked at her skirts.

"You are comfortable postponing her nuptials in order to plan a stranger's wedding? Do you not wish to plan your sister's?"

"Jane told me that Aunt Philips and Lady Lucas were planning the wedding and breakfast. She is in very capable hands. Clearly, she does not need me."

"And Miss Darcy does?" He drummed his fingers loud enough to drown out the tapping of his foot.

"Mr. Darcy seems to think so." Her voice dissolved into a squeak.

"So you will go where you are needed," he snorted. "Is that not the selfsame reason you agreed to Lady Catherine's request? Does that not give you some pause?"

"Is there something wrong with that? Should I not give aid where I am needed?" Her reasoning sounded weak even in her own ears.

"Must you always be needed, child? Is it not enough, sometimes, simply to be wanted?"

She listened to her heart thud loudly until she whispered, "I do not know."

"Perhaps the idea is something you should consider." He took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Charlotte left with her father and Mr. Bennet the next morning, and in the ensuing days, Lizzy felt her absence exceedingly. She managed to find some equanimity in perusing her uncle's library, amusing her young cousins, and assisting her aunt. Evenings after the children retired were more difficult, especially when she withdrew to her room, alone with her own troubling thoughts. Her father's parting words continued to echo through her mind, voicing his opinion at the most unsettling of moments. Each time she considered the possibility of not being needed, a suffocating unease wrapped around her, smothering and torturing her. She clawed through it, gasping for air, desperate. _To be wanted rather that needed? How is that possible? Why would someone want me if they did not need me? _The question tormented her, followed her from corner to corner as she paced the room. _Who would want me? Jane, I understand why Mr. Bingley would want her. She is beautiful, and a lady, and not…damaged goods. _The thought gripped her throat, tightening until she could not breathe. She dashed to the window and threw it open, gasping in the sharp breeze. _No, if Papa…if Mr. Darcy only knew, they would understand it cannot be. _

At the end of the week, Miss Darcy's note arrived, bring with it new levels of excitement and dread. Both fluttered through her stomach as she boarded the carriage bound for Darcy's townhouse, where she would take tea with Miss Darcy. She tried to gather her thoughts on the ride. What would she say? Would Miss Darcy be uneasy knowing Lizzy was privy to her ruination? How did one handle such a thing in polite company? _I have known so little of it, I cannot fathom how to proceed in a way that is not offensive. Papa always tackles a matter head on, and somehow that makes it easier. I wonder if the same approach would be correct here? _

Too soon, the driver handed her from the carriage. She felt his eyes on her as she mounted the short flight of steps to the door. Did she look unworthy to visit such a stylish home? No doubt she would have lost her courage to knock had he not been there to witness her cowardice. The brass knocker clanked with a penetrating sharpness that stabbed her chest. She held her breath, heart thundering in her ears, and waited. When the manservant opened the door, she found she had no voice.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet?" he asked somberly. The brass buttons of his dark jacket glittered in the sunlight.

_His buttons must require constant polishing. Papa has never used any buttons that needed to be polished— _

"Madam?"

"Yes," she squeaked, blinking rapidly. "Miss Darcy –"

"Is expecting you. Please come in." He swung the door open and gestured for her to enter.

A deep breath straightened her spine, and she crossed the threshold. Immediately the understated elegance of the décor, a vivid contrast to Rosings Park, struck her. Before she could continue her discreet observations, the butler stopped so abruptly she nearly ran into him. He stepped aside, and a striking young woman in a white muslin gown stood before her.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet, madam." He gestured toward Elizabeth.

Elizabeth dropped into a curtsey before she realized what she was doing, and nearly lost her balance. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Darcy."

"I am so glad you have come." Miss Darcy curtsied, neatly and elegantly. "Would you join me in the parlor, Miss Bennet?"

The butler disappeared, and Lizzy followed Miss Darcy a short distance into a bright and cheerful room. Miss Darcy closed the door softly. Lizzy watched a mantle of formality slip from her shoulders.

Miss Darcy turned, wearing a smile that made her bright blue eyes positively twinkle. "Truly I am so glad you are come. My brother has written me of you several times now. I feel as though I half know you already."

Lizzy blushed brightly. "I had no idea."

"I am not surprised." Miss Darcy laughed softly and strode toward her guest. "He is so reserved; I am almost in shock he would have told you of me at all." She gestured toward a pair of chairs. They sat near the window, a tea service already set out on a nearby table.

"I believe he values his privacy." Lizzy glanced through the window, finding it somehow difficult to meet Miss Darcy's artless gaze.

"Indeed, he does, and I am grateful for it. He is the best of men—but you know that already; you would not have agreed to marry him if you did not." She opened the tea caddy and set about making tea.

Lizzy swallowed hard. "He has not told you—"

"Well, no, not in so many words, but he has never before spoken to me of any woman other than you. I can see on your face that I am correct." She cocked her head and leaned a little closer. "You esteem him very much indeed."

"I…that is not…I…" Lizzy groaned at the thickness of her tongue.

Lizzy would not have thought it possible, but Miss Darcy's smile broadened. "I am so excited to know he has finally found someone. He always takes so much upon himself and so rarely allows. for his own pleasure. From what he has told me, I am certain you will be quite good for him. Thank you for seeing how dear he really is beneath that cloak of stiffness and reserve. He has done so much for me, and now the rest of the family, with this trip to the continent. On top of it all, he is giving me a much wished for sister as well." She paused to catch her breath.

A wry smile finally lifted Lizzy's lips. "He did at one time tell me you were a shy and quiet young lady—"

Miss Darcy laughed— a light, contagious sound. "I am sorry, you must forgive my exuberance. It is too much to share with a mere acquaintance, I know. But you are nearly family now, and that makes it different, I believe."

Fingers lacing and unlacing, Lizzy chuckled. "I seem to have this effect on your family. First your brother found unexpected words tumbling from his lips in my presence. Then your cousin, Miss de Bourgh, shared a great deal with me."

Miss Darcy groaned and ran her hand down her face. "I am so sorry she and Aunt Catherine were the first of my relatives you met." Tears welled and her brow knit furrows into her forehead. "I am certain you learned of my circumstances in the most unflattering light." A sob escaped, and Lizzy rushed to her side.

She embraced Miss Darcy in a sisterly hug. "Do not think for a moment that I agree with anything your cousin may have said. Perhaps I should not say this, but I think it best you know that the same man who hurt you, attempted to do the same to my youngest sister. It was by the hand of Providence alone that I happened to find them before he could carry out his intentions."

Miss Darcy gasped. "You saved her? How?"

"I would not go so far as to say that I saved her. I was on horseback at the time, and put my riding whip to good use." Lizzy flicked an imaginary whip with relish.

"My gracious!"

"But alas, my horse reared, and I lost my seat. I hit my head on the cobblestones, and I do not recall what happened after that. It happened near my uncle's house, and I am told that he heard my scream and came to our rescue." Lizzy cocked her head and shrugged.

Miss Darcy hung her head and wrung her hands. "I did not fight him. I did not want him…to do what he did… but I did not fight as you did. Perhaps I should have—"

Lizzy placed her hand over Miss Darcy's and squeezed. "No, stop; do not go there. You cannot blame yourself. Regardless of what Miss de Bourgh would say, I know you are not to blame for what happened."

"I have wondered that many times. Anne is not the only one who told me it was my own fault. You see, at one time, when I was younger, I was enamored of him. I supposed the memory of those days made me trust him just enough to accomplish—"

"Stop. I will hear no more of it. If you had fought, you would only have sustained further injury. He was not a man to be discouraged. My sister protested and tried to fend him off. She was seriously injured, and has not yet fully recovered. You could not have stopped him."

Miss Darcy swallowed back several sobs before she met Lizzy's eyes again. "Thank you, Miss Bennet. I must admit, my brother told me the same thing, but I could not believe it. Hearing it from you and knowing what happened to you and your sister… well, it is different. You give me hope that perhaps it might be true."

"That is a good start!" Lizzy patted her hand. "I know Miss de Bourgh could not have been kind to you. She told me that after your aunt discovered your condition, she offered you all manner of assistance in the wake of it." Lizzy struck a pose characteristic of the great lady herself.

Miss Darcy's eyes grew wide. She held her breath and shuddered until her control shattered with at first a titter, then a giggle, then rolling peals of laughter that drove the last of the tears from her eyes. "I suppose I should not laugh. It is not becoming to speak so of the dead, but you did so look like her." She giggled again.

Lizzy covered her mouth with her fingertips, unsuccessfully stilling her own gales of merriment. "I think perhaps your aunt might have been able to enjoy the joke herself. For all her bluster, she had the best of intentions."

"My aunt was much kinder than Anne when the truth came out." Miss Darcy produced a handkerchief and blotted her eyes. "That is not to say my aunt was gentle, but she did have some mercy on me. Anne…"

Lizzy lifted her open hand. "Say no more, Miss Darcy. I have encountered Miss de Bourgh's waspish tongue quite enough to be certain of what she must have been like with you."

"Please, Miss Bennet, you know so many of my secrets, it seems a bit absurd for you to call me 'Miss' Darcy. Would you call me Georgiana?"

"Only if I am Lizzy to you."

"So this is what it is like to have a sister?" Georgiana beamed. "With four of your own, I do believe you must be quite an expert on the topic."

Lizzy winked. "I suppose I am, and in that case, I can assure you, yes, this is what it is like." Why was it now that her conscience prickled, reminding her of her heated words with Mr. Darcy?

"Then I shall like it very much indeed. I never understood how…calming it could be to share one's secrets with a sympathetic listener." Georgiana handed her a teacup. "Anne tried to take credit for sending me off with Andrew and Amelia, but it was Amelia who suggested it. They both knew Mr. Wickham, and were very supportive of me. We all agreed to allow Anne to bask in her glory just to satisfy her and gain some peace."

"I understand why you would do that." Lizzy nodded.

They sipped their tea and glanced through the window at the passing carriages.

Georgiana worried her thumbnail before she caught herself and forced her hands into her lap. "Would you like to come upstairs and see the babies? They are so big now! They are both crawling and starting to pull up."

"I would be honored to meet them," Lizzy replied, though searing pangs stabbed her heart.

Georgiana took her hand and led her upstairs to the nursery. The nursery maid's surprise was clear, but she soon recovered her composure as she began to gush over the two little girls who crawled about her feet.

Georgiana expertly scooped up the girls and balanced one on each hip. "This is Daphne," she bounced the baby on her right hip, "and this is Sophia." She bounced the other girl.

Lizzy leaned closed and smiled broadly at the children. They both shared the same blue eyes and dark blonde hair with a dainty cleft in their chins. "They are lovely." Her heart ached with longing so loud, she was certain Georgiana and the nursemaid could both hear.

Georgiana handed Daphne to her.

Lizzy cuddled the baby, who giggled in her arms and pulled one of Lizzy's curls loose from its pins and immediately shoved it in her mouth, pudgy fist and all.

"Oh, do be careful; she has a penchant for pulling hair!" Georgia reached for Daphne's hand.

"Do not worry; my cousins used to do the same thing." Lizzy pried the little girl's fingers from her hair. "Let me see, what is there in here more interesting than my hair?" She took the baby on a quick tour of the nursery and returned with a small wooden toy in hand.

"Can you tell which one is mine?" Georgiana whispered in her ear.

Lizzy leaned close. "They both are." She landed a quick kiss on Sophia's cheek, then Daphne's.

Georgiana's eyes welled with tears. "No wonder my brother feels as he does about you."

They played with the babies until the little ones began to fuss for their naps. Lizzy reluctantly returned them to their nursery maid and followed Georgiana down the steps.

Back in the parlor, Lizzy asked, "Might I ask you a personal question?"

"Certainly. With all you already know, I can hardly fathom your asking anything I would not care to answer."

"Your brother has asked me to help in planning your wedding to your cousin. Anne informed me that this wedding was her idea as well, and she seemed to think your feelings on the matter were irrelevant. But I do not share that opinion. How do you feel about it?"

"You are a dear for asking. You know my brother is really the only other one who has considered the question." Georgiana played with the loose ribbon on her bodice. "I do not object, if that is what you are asking."

"I know Mr. Darcy would not force you if you did have objections." Lizzy rubbed her knuckles along her chin. "He told me you were content."

"I know he would not force marriage upon me, regardless of the situation. The truth is, I suppose I am relieved. As you can imagine, it was not Anne who actually came up with the suggestion; it was Andrew. After Amelia died, he knew that all our plans were in danger. But even worse, he knew his daughter needed a mother. He wanted his daughter to have more than what most society mothers were willing to give their children. That was a large part of the reason he married Amelia. She shared his view. Knowing that I did, as well, made him consider me. We always got along as children and were good friends, despite the fact he is quite a bit older than I. We like many of the same things, and I can honestly say I enjoy his company."

"You are not disappointed?"

"I suppose I had a romantic notion or two, but," Georgiana looked away for a moment, "I lost all of that with Mr. Wickham. Now, more than anything, I want someone I can trust, and I know that Andrew is such a man. As my brother said, I am content in our plans. Besides, I love both my girls, and could not bear to part with either of them now. So it will be good for us to finally be reunited. In all honestly, I have missed him since he has been away."

The maid knocked and entered, bearing a tray of small sandwiches and biscuits. Georgiana offered Lizzy a plate. "I must say, you look surprised."

"Well, after hearing it all from Miss de Bourgh, I confess this is not what I expected. It seemed that it would surely be a much less agreeable situation for you." She nibbled a slice of shortbread.

"If I had heard it all from Anne, I would be inclined to think the same thing." Georgiana chuckled wistfully. "I am very thankful that it is not the case. Despite all that has happened to me, I am very fortunate. My family has stood with me and did not turn me away as might have been the case in other families. I have my daughters and the hope of a comfortable marriage. I am blessed."

Lizzy brushed crumbs from her hands over her plate and turned to regard the window again. "My father had a younger sister who was not so blessed. She was sent away and died in childbirth, alone and disowned by her father."

"I am so sorry." Georgiana set her plate on the table. "It could easily have been my story as well."

"Do you want help with planning the wedding? Mr. Darcy said you do not want an elaborate celebration, just a small breakfast for the family and a small private ceremony here at the house. With all your staff, I cannot imagine that you need my help."

"No, I suppose I do not."

"Then I will leave you to it. I do not wish to intrude at so challenging a time for your family." Lizzy looked over her shoulder toward the door, only to feel Georgiana's hand lightly on her arm.

"Please do help. You are correct; our staff here could easily manage orchestrating the entire affair without so much as me batting an eye. But, in spite of everything that has happened, it is _my wedding _. I still want it to be special; I always have— a girlish dream, I suppose. The only one I have left. Fitzwilliam knows of it, and he is so good; he remembered and wants to see that I have as much of it as I can."

"That is very thoughtful of him."

"He is so very considerate." Georgiana looked toward the window, wistfully. "I always thought I would marry after Fitzwilliam, and so have a sister to help me plan everything, to share with me all the little decisions and plans and hopes and dreams. Then everything went so very wrong." She turned back to Lizzy. "He asked you to help me because I have always wanted to share the event, not because I needed assistance."

"Oh," Lizzy blinked and looked away.

"You need to return home? Are you needed there? Fitzwilliam mentioned that your father is blind like Anne, but of a very different disposition. If he needs you at home, I cannot begrudge you that at all. Please do not stay to fulfill my silly wish if you are needed there." Georgiana's disappointment shone clearly in her eyes, though she clearly attempted to hide it.

Lizzy shook her head. "No, I saw my father just a few days ago, and he assured me that I am not currently needed. My eldest sister will soon marry, and she wishes me to stand up with her. But my aunt and a dear friend are handling all the arrangements, so they do not require my help either."

"Your sister is marrying as well?"

"Yes, actually to a friend of Mr. Darcy, Mr. Charles Bingley."

Georgiana clapped and clasped her hands under her chin. "Oh, how wonderful! I know Mr. Bingley, and he is a very kind man."

Lizzy pictured Charles and Jane walking through the gardens at Netherfield and sighed. "He and my sister are very much alike."

"Your sister must be a very sweet and gentle soul then. He deserves someone who is all kindness. Did you know Mr. Bingley was staying with us at Pemberley when my misfortune occurred? He is the only one outside our family who knows."

"I can think of no one I would trust more with such information. He has been most supportive to my family in our own trials with Wickham. "

Georgiana plucked at her skirts. "Surely you want to help your sister with her plans. You must have dreamed of such a day as children."

Lizzy exhaled heavily, and shook her head. "No, not really. With my father's condition and the loss of my mother, I have spent the last, what, seven or eight years absorbed with the management of Longbourn. Do not misunderstand me, my father is still Master, but I assist him with much. So, while I am quite proficient in algebra and the theory of crop rotation, I fear I am lacking in the more necessary accomplishments of a true lady. I neither play, nor sing, nor draw. I know little of fabrics and fashion. In fact, I will share with you a very dark secret indeed, one your brother will probably never tell you."

Georgiana's eyes widened, and she leaned in close.

"I have ridden your brother's stallion. Twice now, he has gotten loose, and I have ridden him."

"On Surtur? I do not believe it. He is not trained to a side saddle." Georgiana wagged her finger at Lizzy.

"I hate them, personally, and am much happier astride."

"You did not!" Georgiana's jaw dropped, and she gasped.

"I did. So you see, I am no lady. I never expected to marry, so I never thought much of weddings. I suppose my sisters may have, but I would not hear any talk of it. What man would have such an improper thing as me for a wife."

"How can you speak of my brother so?"

Lizzy blushed furiously.

Georgiana's eyes narrowed, and she squared her jaw. "Are you not engaged to him?"

Lizzy's shoulders sagged. "We had a quarrel in Kent, and now I do not know."

"I know. He can be dour at times, and occasionally he may say something harsh, but he is not usually like that. Do not take it to heart. He would not have asked your help if he had changed his mind. Please, forgive him for whatever he said. I am sorry he offended you. I know that he could not have meant it." She looked up at Lizzy, her eyes full of innocent sincerity.

Lizzy licked her lips and half nodded, half shrugged.

"You will see, he will return full of sorrow and repentance, for he is very quick to do that when he has been too harsh." She smiled and nodded. "Are you sure you would not rather be with your sister right now?" Georgiana touched Lizzy's arm softly.

"I have promised to stand up with her, but I believe Jane is content to leave all the arrangements to someone else. So there is little for me to do there." Lizzy pressed her lips together and glanced up at the rose painted ceiling. "If you need, that is, want me to help you, then I would be honored to stay."

"I am so happy to hear that, Lizzy!" She drew in a deep breath that sounded, in Lizzy's ears, relieved that there would not be one more disappointment to bear. "Do you think I could ask one more thing of you? Would you consider staying here with me? The house feels so empty with just the girls and me. I am lonely, and it would mean so much to have your company until my brother returns."

Lizzy's heart skipped a beat, her mind whirling. "I will have to ask my aunt and uncle, and my cousins will be so disappointed—"

"We could visit with them some afternoons. I would love to meet them. We could even bring the girls." Georgiana blinked hopefully.

Though prepared to decline, the pleading look in Georgiana's eyes ruined Lizzy's resolve. "Maddie, the only girl of my four cousins, would be so thrilled to meet Daphne and Sophie. I think my aunt would like that very much as well, too. I will ask them, and if they give me leave, I will stay until Mr. Darcy returns."


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35 **

Ten days later, Lizzy sat with Georgiana in the Darcy family carriage after a morning of shopping and visiting the modiste. It was hard to believe how quickly the time had passed whilst in such agreeable society. Her only real complaint was one that Lizzy could not voice to anyone. She could not keep herself away from Georgiana's 'twins'. Yet each time she held them, played with them, or rocked them to sleep, her heartache grew a little deeper knowing she would never enjoy such domestic felicity herself. In the midst of it all, Georgiana continued to remind her of the need to forgive Fitzwilliam for whatever he had said because he was the best of men and would surely prove himself if given the chance. _If only she knew it was me, not him._

She screwed up her courage and drew a breath to speak. The carriage lurched to a stop in front of the town house and a moment later, the driver handed her out, her words and courage lost in the disruption. The butler opened the door for them.

"Have these packages sent upstairs," Georgiana said, nodding to him. She led Elizabeth into the foyer, unbuttoning her pelisse as she did. "Did I not promise you that you would approve of the gowns?"

"Your modiste is incredible." Lizzy unwound her fichu and handed it and her spencer to the waiting maid. "I have never seen such fine stitchery."

"She is very good, is she not? Aunt Matlock discovered her, and we have used no one else since." Georgian removed her pelisse and bonnet. "I am glad to be back home, though."

They walked to the parlor where a light luncheon was spread on the buffet.

"Mrs. Hutchins is so good! I am so hungry!" Georgiana's smile was filled with girlhood wonder, and Lizzy nearly laughed. "Lizzy, you really must try this spiced ham; I have never had any so good as hers."

"It looks lovely." Lizzy placed a slice on her plate, though it looked much like any other spiced ham to her.

Georgiana fluffed her skirt and lowered herself onto the overstuffed chair, carefully balancing her overfull plate. "I am so glad you agreed to stand up with me. Since Richard said he would stand up with his brother, I would have felt so odd without someone to stand with me."

"I must admit, I had no idea that such an honor would be included in the notion of helping you prepare for your wedding." The corner of Lizzy's lips twitched, a sure tell for her teasing that she had never been able to bring under her control.

"Please, do not be so serious now! It is entirely unlike you, and I do not think it becomes you at all." Georgiana pressed her lips tightly, not quite able to control her smirk. She tried to hide it in a dainty bite of ham and almost choked.

Lizzy laughed heartily. "I am afraid you are right. Such propriety is entirely unlike me. I must be straightforward and not at all ladylike." She lifted hands in surrender.

"Like you were at the modiste?" Georgiana dabbed her lips with her napkin, eyes twinkling.

"It seems you did not mind then." Lizzy wagged her finger. "As I recall, you were rather relieved someone was willing to be honest with her and confess that her first design made you look like a frothy syllabub.*" She took a sip from her glass.

Georgiana snickered and coughed, covering her mouth with her hands. "Do not do that or I shall surely choke! You are right, though. I do not know what she was thinking. That gown would have been the talk of the ton—"

"—but all in the wrong way! Perhaps she had a little too much French cream** in her tea the night she designed it." Lizzy's eyes twinkled. "It is a good thing she redeemed herself when she remade it."

"Indeed she did. It is just too beautiful now." Georgiana looked away, a wistful expression on her face. A heavy sigh escaped as she set down her glass.

"Do not wonder if you deserve to wear something so lovely on your wedding day." Lizzy set aside her plate and leaned toward Georgiana. "That is what you are thinking, is it not?"

"How do you know what I am thinking? You do this far too often for comfort." Georgiana huffed lightly.

"I am my father's daughter, I suppose. He has an uncanny way of always knowing what I am thinking." Lizzy's eyes narrowed. "I am right, though. That is what you were wondering."

"Oh, how can I not?" Georgiana exhaled heavily and leaned her head back. "I am so glad it will only be our family at the ceremony. I could not bear to have many people there, staring at me. I would wonder if they knew and what they were thinking of me."

"You probably always will."

Georgiana snapped upright and glared. "Thank you, for that oh-so-bolstering thought. I am sure it will give me great comfort during long nights in the future."

Lizzy patted Georgiana's knee and held her eyes in a deep gaze. "It is not so bad. You get used to it."

"What do you mean? I cannot imagine you—"

Lizzy's brow quirked, and she cocked her head. "Though Papa is well known in Meryton, there are still those who stare at my father when we are out. Since I am often with him, I find those stares often directed at me."

"How awful." Georgiana gulped and settled back into her chair.

"It has been that way so long that I have a hard time remembering anything else."

"Do you not wonder what they are thinking of you? If they are judging you?"

"Of course they are judging me. That is the nature of people." Lizzy looked at the ceiling and rubbed her temples. "My own cousin judged my father as smitten by God and necessarily guilty of some horrible hidden sin. He casts my sisters and I in the same light, especially now, after what happened in Kent."

"How can you tolerate that? I know that Anne judges me most severely over what happened, and it…it hurts…so much." Georgiana looked away.

Lizzy got up from her chair and sat beside her on the ottoman. She took Georgiana's hands. "It does, most bitterly, but it does not make one iota of what they say true. That perhaps is the most important thing to keep in mind. Do not start to believe what they say about you. It is not easy, but it becomes less difficult with practice."

"Fitzwilliam was right." Georgiana turned to her, blinking back the brightness in her eyes. "He told me you were very wise and compassionate. He was sure that you would help me to see things differently."

"He is very kind."

"I am so very glad that we will be sisters soon." Georgiana smiled.

Lizzy swallowed hard. "Even if for some reason we do not become sisters, I pray that we will still be friends."

"Why ever would we not become sisters?" She looked into Lizzy's face intently. "Is this about the quarrel you had with my brother? Oh, Lizzy, please, whatever he said to you, I know he did not mean it. Fitzwilliam is just that way sometimes. He is so somber and does not always know how others hear what he says. Please, give him a chance to explain. Do not assume him to be as harsh as he sounds."

Lizzy chewed her lip and struggled to find the courage she had only recently called up. "It is not that. I…I said some things…"

"Well, then there is nothing to be concerned about." The light returned to Georgiana's eyes. "He never mentioned them to me. He does not seem to think there is a problem, so do not worry."

"He wrote to me and said—"

The butler appeared in the doorway. "Colonel Fitzwilliam to see you, madam."

Georgiana jumped to her feet and rushed to the doorway. "Richard!"

Colonel Fitzwilliam took her hands warmly and kissed her cheek. "You look lovely as always, my dear. How are the girls?"

"They are sleeping right now. I am afraid that Daphne is cutting a new tooth and is particularly cranky of late."

"Well, she always cheers up when her Uncle Richard is near. I will set her to rights!" He peeked around her to see what company she kept.

"Well, do not just stand here. Come in and take some luncheon with us." Georgiana led him in. "You have already been introduced to Miss Bennet, I believe." She gestured toward Lizzy.

"Miss Bennet," he said as he bowed, an odd look in his eyes. "I am pleased to see you."

"Thank you, sir. It is a pleasure to see you again." She curtsied and wondered what he must think to find her here. When he had left Meryton, she was not certain of his opinion of her, and that uncertainty now taunted her. Her cheeks burned.

Georgiana served a plate for him, and they all sat down.

"So what brings you here? Have you news? Oh my, your father? How is he? I should have asked. I am sorry…" Georgiana's brow knotted and some of the color left her face.

Richard took the plate from her. "Do not worry, he is as well as can be expected. The doctors say he is a stubborn old man, and he is waiting for my brother's return before he takes his final leave of us."

"I am relieved to hear that. I can see by your face, though, there is news."

"That is true. I have had two letters of some significance that I thought to share with you." He turned to Elizabeth. "I believe you will find both of interest as well, Miss Bennet."

"Do not keep us in suspense. Is it good news or bad?" Georgiana wrung her hands.

"A bit of both, I am afraid. The good news is that I have heard from Darcy, and he arrived safely in Calais." He reached into his coat pocket.

"That is good news indeed. I will not rest easy, though, until he is safely back home."

"Then you will be please to know that it should not be much longer. He writes that he has located Andrew, who included this note to you." He handed Georgiana a neatly folded note.

She took it with a shy smile and tucked it into her pocket.

"Darcy says that Andrew is pleased the arrangements for the wedding are being made, and that he looks forward to your upcoming nuptials."

Georgiana blushed and giggled.

Lizzy found herself smiling as well, pleased to see Georgiana's genuine reactions. She studied Colonel Fitzwilliam's face with sidelong glances and decided that he, too, was pleased with the news and with the wedding plans. Her opinion of him rose several notches.

"He also misses the girls very much and is looking forward to seeing them. Darcy says they have already booked passage back and should be arriving in about a week."

Georgiana turned to Lizzy. "I am so glad you thought to tell the modiste we would need the dresses finished by next Tuesday!"

"Dresses?" Richard asked.

"Fitzwilliam insisted I have a new dress made for the wedding, and since Lizzy is standing up with me, I insisted she have one made herself." Georgiana made a show of reaching for Lizzy's hand and squeezing it warmly.

"You are standing up with her?" His eyebrows lifted. "I am pleased to have such a lovely counterpart to stand with on Georgiana's big day."

"Thank you, sir. I had thought your sister a more appropriate choice. I hope no offense has been given." Lizzy's blush extended to her ears.

"None at all, I assure you." He tipped his head slightly. "I believe that Darcy will be pleased."

"You should see Lizzy's dress! It is so lovely on her. It is a good thing I am not prone to jealousy…" Georgiana winked.

"You have nothing to be jealous of. You will be an extraordinarily lovely bride, and none will have eyes for any but you." Lizzy squeezed her hand back.

Georgiana blushed and giggled. "I suppose then, we will be able to finalize the orders with the merchants now, and Mrs. Hutchins will be able to finish all the details that concern her as well. That is a good thing."

"Indeed, it will be. She has been fretting so about having everything right for you." Lizzy sat back against her chair and willed the flames in her cheeks to die down.

"You said you had several letters?" Georgian turned back to Richard.

His eyes drooped and his jaw hardened. "I am afraid that I do, and the news is not nearly so pleasant. I am afraid, Miss Bennet," he turned to look at her, "that it might be most distressing for you."

Lizzy sat up much straighter. "Why would you think that?"

"It is news from Kent, regarding your cousin and mine."

Lizzy bit her lip. "Heavens! What has happened? I can hardly imagine, given the character of both of them."

"Mr. Clarke, the curate at Rosings, has written to say there was an accident. The letter I have, dictated by Anne, appears to confirm it. Your cousin, Mr. Collins, was involved. As I gather from the two accounts, he was walking down the staircase with my cousin and something happened; no one is certain exactly what. Anne became agitated, and somehow Mr. Collins fell down the stairs and was gravely injured. Mr. Clarke reports the doctors say he will live, but he has broken his back and lost the use of his legs."

"How awful!" Lizzy's hand flew to her mouth.

"How terrible!" Georgiana exclaimed. "Oh, Lizzy, I will understand if you feel you need to go to him…"

"Do not fear for that, I have no intention of doing so. My father has forbidden me to be near him again after what happened while I was there."

"He is a wise man, Miss Bennet." Richard muttered. "As you can imagine, Anne is beside herself right now. Somehow she is consumed with the thought that the magistrate will be called, and she will be held responsible for the accident and hanged."

"No." Georgiana's jaw gaped, and she shared a wide-eyed glance with Lizzy.

"She must be utterly terrified," Lizzy whispered, though there was little sympathy in her tone.

"Indeed she is. Collins has always been a simpering fool. Forgive me, Miss Bennet, I had the dubious pleasure of meeting him when he was installed in the curacy last year."

She waved her absolution to him.

"I do not expect it was Collins who told suggested to Anne that she was in danger form the magistrate. I suspect one of the doctors said something in order to excite some compassion in her toward the unfortunate vicar. I suppose the tactic was something of a success in that she says that Collins will be cared for at Rosings manor for the remainder of his life and will keep his appointment as vicar, with Mr. Clarke continuing in his responsibilities as curate." Richard laced his hands and worried his thumbs together.

"I am glad to hear that Mr. Clarke will not lose his position." Lizzy released a deep breath. "He and his wife are very good people."

"Yes, they are." Georgiana rubbed her temples. "Perhaps they will be able to bring sense into Rosings Park somehow."

"That might be asking too much of anyone, my dear." Richard laughed, the sound a bit hollow in Lizzy's ears.

A maid slipped into the room and whispered into Georgiana's ear.

"The babies are awake, and Daphne is fussing terribly. If you will excuse me for a few moments, I will bring the girls down and we can see if Uncle Richard can charm his little niece once again." Georgian left quickly.

Richard looked back at the door, sighing. "Anne writes to beg me to relay a message to you personally."

"Oh." Lizzy's brows rose. "What does she have to say?"

"She apologizes profusely for, in her words, 'her hasty sentiments, poorly expressed' at the end of your stay. She also entreats me to beg your indulgence and asks that you return to Kent to fulfill your promises to her mother. She says that she needs you desperately and is most anxious to have you return." Richard frowned.

Lizzy looked away and stood. She walked to the window, hands listless at her sides. "I see." She played with the rich fabric of the drapes, letting the fabric slip through her fingers. She looked over her shoulder at him. "It does not seem that you approve of her request."

"Darcy acquainted me with the things she said to you and the way she treated you, despite what you were trying to do for her." He bounced his knuckles against his lips. "I have never been good at hiding my disapproval. If it were up to me, I would counsel you to have nothing more to do with her. "

"You do not like your cousin."

"Darcy has always been far more patient and tolerant of her than I."

"Because of her blindness?" Lizzy's eyes narrow, waiting to cast judgment.

"Because of her disagreeable disposition and utter disdain for the feelings of others." He spat and joined her near the window. "She is not a pleasant creature now, nor has she ever been. I do not know how he has put up with the outlandish things she has said and done throughout the years."

Lizzy nodded and looked back out the window. She felt him standing very close to her, almost touching her. He looked over her shoulder at the carriages and horses passing by.

"He told me about what happened…everything." His voice was so low she could hardly hear it.

The hair on the back of her neck prickled from the touch of his words. "I see. Your family seems very peculiar about its secrets."

"Darcy is my best friend and has been since childhood. He and I, Georgiana, and Andrew, have always been very close well. We trust each other."

"What did he tell you?" She traced her finger down the glass, relishing the smooth coolness.

"He felt terribly guilty over what happened. You should never have found things out the way that you did. He should have stopped Wickham before he hurt your family. He may very well never forgive himself for the latter."

She pressed her lips hard and tried to ignore the sick feeling in her gut.

"He does not blame you for…what you said to him and is pleased that you were willing to stay to help Georgiana; and hopes that you two could be friends, despite what has transpired between you and him."

"We are. She is a dear girl, and I am honored to count her among my friends." She leaned her forehead on the windowpane.

"He has not given you up, you know."

She shuffled her feet on the carpet, wondering if it sounded as loud in his ears as it did hers.

"I am not sure he ever will."

"It would be best if he did." She fisted the curtain in her hand and immediately regretted the work the servants would be put to in order to remove the wrinkles she had placed there.

"How can you say that? I have never seen him so effected." Though he had not moved, she was certain that somehow he must, and she moved closer to the window as his breath tickled the back of her neck.

"It will pass, I am sure." 

Colonel Fitzwilliam harrumphed; a peculiar, low tone that sounded remarkably like an expression Darcy made. "Perhaps it would for a man who felt less, but not for Darcy. No woman has ever affected him as you have."

"I am not a proper lady and no proper wife for a gentleman like him." She straightened and glanced up at him.

"Perhaps not for a typical gentleman." He frowned, and once again looked eerily like his cousin. "But for him, yes, you are."

The intensity of his gaze drove her into motion, and she hurried toward the fireplace. "Why are you saying these things? What are you trying to accomplish?" With her back to him, she shook her fists at her side.

"I want to see him happy." He braced his back against the window. She heard the glass creak in protest. "Darcy has been so busy being what everyone else needed that he has neglected to consider what he wants or needs. Now that he has found it. I do not wish to see him deprived of it."

"You speak very boldly for one so little acquainted with me, sir."

His boots made a unique scrape as they scuffed across the floor, moving toward her. "I hear you are accustomed to boldness. Darcy tells me your father favors the same strategy."

She did not respond. He was doing it again, standing too close to ignore.

"Anne asks for a response to her request."

She steeled herself and looked up, over her shoulder, directly into the clear blue of his eyes. "Should I write her directly, or should I send it through you?"

He threw back his head with a gasp. "You are not actually considering her request are you?"

"Of course I am." She folded her arms over her chest and summoned up her boldest, most irate tone. "She needs me. After the wedding here, I will go to stand up with my sister when she marries Mr. Bingley. Then I must decide what I will do. I do not believe I will be needed at home, and I did make a promise to Lady Catherine."

"You cannot be serious? You cannot be." He barked out a coarse laugh. "After the way she abused you? You would return for more of the same?"

"Who are you to know it would be more of the same? Perhaps she has come to an understanding—"

"That is highly unlikely. Mr. Clarke believes that Anne pushed Mr. Collins in a fit of pique and was most directly the cause of his accident. Out of guilt she is having him cared for at the house, but can no longer stand to be in his presence. I believe she does not want to be reminded of the consequences of her behavior or hear that another has needs as relevant as hers."

"What a horrible thing to say!" Lizzy balled her fists and glared up at him.

"In all likelihood she is hoping to foist off the care of Collins on you!" He snorted and scuffed his toe on the carpet. "Which I recall you telling me just a few moment ago, your father expressly forbid."

"How can—"

"Miss Bennet! You are every bit as stubborn as Darcy. I would swear that you back is up just now simply because I express a strong opinion on what you should do. Simply to vex me you will insist the opposite."

Her face flushed and she grumbled deep in her throat just as her father did when pushed too hard.

He looked at her and she glanced up to catch his eyes. His expression soften, warmth in his eyes that looked far too much like Darcy."I do not think she intended to hurt Collins, but she did. That is enough to make me fear for your safety."

"But she is in need—"

He rolled his eyes and silenced her with an upraised hand. "—in need of living with the consequences of her selfish behavior and not being rescued by yet another overly sympathetic soul."

Lizzy squeezed her eyes shut and struggled not to snap back.

"If there is someone who needs you, and desperately wants you, it is Darcy."

"You said he told you everything. So then, you know what I said to him."

Colonel Fitzwilliam nodded sharply. "I also know he is prepared to forgetit all at a word from you."

"I am sorry, sir. There is still too much you and your cousin do not know about me that makes this all a moot point."

He drew a sharp breath as an infant's wail cut him off.

"Here is Uncle Richard; he promises to make it all better!" Georgiana cooed and brought Daphne to Richard.

"How is my girl?" He took her and held her up high to look down into his face. Daphne's unhappy shriek stopped abruptly, replaced by giggles.

*syllabub: a traditional English dessert, made from rich milk or cream seasoned with sugar and lightly curdled with wine

**French cream: Brandy, when served in tea


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"She has lost her mind! I cannot believe this!" Lizzy tossed the letter aside and paced along the window of her room, muttering under her breath. A soft knock on her door stopped her mid stride.

"Lizzy? Are you well?" Georgiana peeked in the slightly open door.

"I am fine. Please come in." A wry smile lifted her lips. "You are much more courteous than your cousin. She barged in uninvited and lost a battle of wills with my trunk."

Georgiana rolled her eyes. "I can only imagine."

Crossing back along the window seat, Lizzy snatched up the letter. "I just received a letter from my friend Charlotte, Mrs. Collins, I should say."

"Oh dear." Georgiana sat lightly on the bed. "Is she well? Has she recovered from her…ordeal?"

"Apparently she has, but I fear she is heading for Bedlam now." Lizzy flicked the letter hard enough to knock off the remainder of the wax seal.

A little color left Georgiana's face. "Has the experience—"

"No, no, not that. Her injuries were not nearly so severe. Here, see for yourself. I do not think I can look at it again!" Lizzy flung the letter at Georgiana who caught it as it fluttered toward the floor.

Georgiana turned the page over several times until she found the top and squinted. "Is it just me…"

"No, Charlotte's penmanship leaves something to be desired. She has worked on improving it for years. Alas, she still prefers her left hand. When she takes a pen in her right, as we are supposed to do, it is an unsightly thing. Try as she might, I am afraid her husband's penmanship far outstrips hers." Lizzy paused at the window, her back to Georgiana for several moments. Charlotte's news weighed upon her so heavily, though, she had to walk again.

"Dear Elizabeth…" Georgiana squinted and blinked rapidly. "Are you sure you want me to read this?"

Lizzy waved her encouragement.

"All right…I think I can make this out. Let me see, she writes: Since I know you will ask, I am well and have mended well, thanks to the diligent care of my family. When you next see Mr. Darcy, please send him my profuse thanks for his prodigious good care. Mrs. Clarke was quite correct, it was indeed best that I return to my family for the time being.

"I have no doubt that you have heard of my husband's accident by now. It is a truly sad affair. I have had a letter from him. He absolves Miss de Bourgh from all responsibility for his fall. But between you and I, I still have my suspicions. However, since she has been so gracious in the care she has offered him, I can hardly persist in that line of thinking. Mr. Collins has been treated to the best hospitality Rosings can offer. He has spent every night since the incident in the guest wing there and has been quite beside himself with gratitude. What is more, Miss de Bourgh promised him a place at Rosings until he was able to walk out of its doors on his own. " Georgiana peeked up from the letter.

Lizzy nodded. "I know, it is most difficult to believe, but I am not at all surprised. Mr. Collins thought very highly of Lady Catherine's condescension toward him. He was most jealous of my good fortune to be invited to stay within those hallowed walls." She laughed bitterly. "Go on, it becomes much more interesting."

With a skeptical look, Georgiana turned back to the missive, trying to find her place with her finger. "She also says: I fear that the gravity of my husband's injuries have not truly settled upon him. I expect he still believes he will regain the use of his legs in time, if only because of the wording of Miss de Bourgh's offer to him. Mr. Clarke's letter though assures me that it will not happen. He will be an invalid for the rest of his days. For that reason, I have agreed to his request that I return to him at Rosings. He has apologized for his behavior profusely and assured me that it will never—"

"Never happen again!" Lizzy snapped and stalked about the room in angry, purposeful steps. "You did not see her after it happened, but it was horrible! She looked worse than Wickham did after I struck him with my riding whip!"

"You struck him with your whip? No! You cannot be serious." Georgiana stood and crossed the room to Lizzy's side. "Surely you did not. I thought you were merely trying to make me feel better when you said that."

"I came upon him while on horseback, and it is what I had in my hand." Lizzy shrugged.

"Oh, Lizzy!" Georgiana threw her arms around Lizzy's neck.

Lizzy started then patted her back soothingly. "It is a very little thing. Your brother told you, did he not, that he made certain that Wickham was flogged?"

Georgiana pulled back and fumbled for her handkerchief. "He did, but somehow it is not the same. It is just so satisfying to know that someone fought back and marked him even as…" Her words faded into tears, and she cried into her hands.

Lizzy stood numbly for a moment. Georgiana's tears touched a place she had kept shut for years. Her throat pinched off her words, and her eyes prickled with bitter tears. Shaking them all away, she gathered Georgiana into her arms again and guided her to sit on the side of the bed. "If it is of any further consolation, my horse kicked him soundly as well."

Georgiana began to giggle and looked up at Lizzy. "Oh, do be serious."

"I am perfectly serious." She brushed a stray curl from Georgiana's forehead. "I am told that the whip scarred his face. He shall not be nearly so appealing to other young women in the future, if he survives the ordeal."

"If he survives?" Georgiana's forehead creased and a little color faded from her cheeks.

"Infection is always a great danger in cases of open wounds—"

"Please, I do not think I wish to hear any more." Georgiana held up her hand. "You are so brave, Lizzy—"

_Hardly, if you only you knew the truth you would despise my weakness. _"No, not nearly so brave as Charlotte for returning to that adder she married!"

"I do not know how much courage it takes to face that. He is bedridden now. He cannot hurt her again. Though it does not stop his venomous words, she can simply leave the room and allow a servant to deal with him. What bravery is there in that?"

"I could not live with such a man," Lizzy muttered, a shudder coursing down her back.

"It is a fortunate thing that you shall not and neither shall I." Georgiana dabbed her eyes and tucked her handkerchief back in her pocket. "Andrew and Fitzwilliam are nothing like that odious man."

Lizzy smiled weakly.

"You will help me teach my daughters to be strong and brave, will you not? Andrew's estate is not so far from Pemberley, just twenty miles. We will see each other often, and our children will play together—"

"Slow down, Georgiana, neither of us is even married yet." Lizzy laid a restraining hand on Georgiana's arm.

Georgiana pulled her arm away so she could punctuate her conversation. "I will be very soon. They are to arrive any day now! Perhaps, have you thought…Fitzwilliam could acquire a special license, and we could—"

"Georgiana, stop. Please," Lizzy grimaced. She pinched the bridge of her nose to drive away the ache in her head. "I will stand up with you, but we will not…that is to say...I cannot…there will be no double wedding. I cannot."

"I am sorry. It is not fair of me to push you." Georgiana swallowed hard. "I know you have to work things out with my brother and your sister is getting married soon as well. Perhaps you would rather wed with her? I am just so afraid…"

"Of what?"

"What if you do not resolve with Fitzwilliam? What if he continues to be offensive to you—" Georgiana wrung her hands, catching bits of her skirts in her fingers as she did.

"Or I to him?"

"How could you be? No, I know him. He does not always understand and takes too much on himself. He is so reserved…"

"Please, do not base our friendship upon him. No matter what happens, I will be your friend. I promise you that." She patted Georgiana's hands.

Georgiana blinked and slowly released her wrinkled dress. She struggled to smooth it over her lap.

A loud rap at the door made both of them jump. The housekeeper peered in. "You have guests, madam."

Two faces appeared over the housekeeper's shoulder.

"Fitzwilliam!" Georgiana squealed and dashed to him.

The housekeeper dodged out of the way just in time for Georgiana to fall into his arms.

"You are home!" After several moments, Georgiana turned to the tall, quiet man who stood beside Fitzwilliam. "Andrew?"

Andrew opened his arms to her, smiling a little awkwardly. She fell into his embrace for a moment and listened as he whispered something in her ear. He released her, and she took a small step back.

Georgiana caught Lizzy's hand and pulled her toward the men. "Forgive me, Lizzy. Andrew, this is my dear friend, Miss Elizabeth Bennet."

Lizzy dropped into an automatic curtsey, her eyes fixed on Darcy. "It is a pleasure to meet you, sir."

Andrew stole a quick look at Darcy and bowed. "I have heard so much about you, Miss Bennet. I am pleased to finally make your acquaintance."

Lizzy caught herself staring. She recognized Andrew's smile as the same one Darcy wore when he indulged in a smile.

"Shall we go to the parlor? This is perhaps not the most proper room for a reunion." Georgiana asked, staring at Lizzy. Her gaze quickly returned to Andrew. "I want to hear all about your trip."

"A capital idea, my dear." Andrew offered her his arm.

Lizzy watched them walk down the corridor, then looked awkwardly at Darcy who still stood just outside the room. It pleased her somehow that he was not willing to breech propriety even in this unusual moment.

"Georgiana looks very well today. I have rarely seen her in such good spirits." He spoke softly. "I am sure it is due to your company." Their eyes met, and he bowed slightly.

Her heart fluttered and pinched, an agitated little bird fluttering against its restrictive cage. Oh, for it to be set free to follow its own wishes! "She is a wonderful girl, and I should thank you for allowing me to make her acquaintance," Lizzy stammered.

"I must agree with your sentiment. She is a very dear sister." He looked wistfully over his shoulder. "You should not think yourself unequal to her acquaintance though. I certainly do not." He looked deeply into her eyes.

Her thoughts came to a grinding halt and her mouth worked, trying to find word, but none emerged. He reached to touch her face but stopped halfway there. Instead, he offered her his arm, "Shall we join them in the parlor?"

Lizzy hesitated, but finally took his arm.

Shortly after Darcy and Lizzy settled themselves into the parlor, the nursery maid brought in Daphne and Sophia. The girls squealed happily as they were placed in Andrew's lap. Georgiana watched, bright-eyed, her hands tightly laced together.

He cooed over them, bounced them on his knees and finally tucked them both into the crook of his long arm. "I cannot believe how much they both have grown since I have been away."

"I am afraid Daphne is teething, and she is often rather cross, though Richard always seems able to calm her," Georgiana said.

"Perhaps I will find I am as talented as my little brother." Andrew tickled Daphne.

"Come here, Sophia." Darcy took her from Andrew so he could cuddle her close.

_She is Georgiana's daughter. I can see it in his eyes._ Lizzy watched Darcy and his niece carefully, noting how Sophia favored her uncle more than her 'father' Andrew. She noticed Georgiana watching her and lifted her eyebrows just a little.

Georgiana quickly nodded.

Lizzy smiled and leaned back. Her heart clenched, squeezing until it ached to breath. Darcy bounced Sophia on his knee, smiling Andrew's smile, as the baby screeched in delight. Tears clouded her vision, blurring her focus until the scene before seemed for like a painting in the distance. For just a moment, she wondered what it might be like to see a daughter of her own dandled upon Darcy's knee.

Her resolve quivered like a plate of Lady Catherine's calves' foot jelly, threatening to collapse. _No, no, get a grip on yourself. What are you thinking? Georgiana is a perfect lady despite whatever might have happened to her. I am no lady and never will be one. Horace Carver was right. I can never marry— _

"…and your sisters and father are well?" Darcy asked.

Lizzy shook her head sharply, suddenly aware of the conversation that had been taking place around her. "Yes, they are, thank you. My sister and Mr. Bingley are engaged now and will be married soon."

"Capital!" Andrew grinned. "Bingley is a delightful fellow, and it is time he settled down. Has a wedding date been set?"

"I am to stand up with my sister, so they are waiting for my return to set the date. My aunt is taking care of all of the arrangements—"

"Lizzy, you did not tell me! How could you never mention such a thing to me?" Georgiana scolded. "You allowed me to keep you here selfishly to myself all the while your sister is waiting her wedding—"

"No one could accuse you of being selfish." Lizzy stretched to pat Georgiana's hands. "I have been happy to stay, truly I have. It has been most refreshing, to be honest with you. I do not know when I have enjoyed myself so much."

"And with good reason, too!" Darcy smiled at Georgiana, not looking Lizzy.

The creases on his forehead suggested the great effort it took to do so. Somehow the thought pleased her.

"You are a most delightful hostess." His eyes finally flickered toward Lizzy for just the fleetest moment.

"And you do have the most adorable children," Andrew added enthusiastically. Daphne yawned and cuddled into his shoulder.

"We really should take them upstairs for their naps." Georgiana rose and took Sophia from Darcy. She beckoned to Andrew who followed her out.

Lizzy stared at her hands but she could still see Darcy's feet shifting uneasily against the carpet. She could not resist the temptation to steal a glimpse of his face.

"It was good of you to agree to stand up with Georgiana." Darcy glanced over his shoulder, out the window.

"It was very good of her to ask me, though I thought the viscount's sister would have been a more appropriate choice." She picked at the ribbon trimming her skirt.

"I am afraid Sarah is rather more judgmental of Georgiana than her brothers or yourself."

"I am sorry." Lizzy pressed her lips hard.

"Andrew has made it very clear that he will hear nothing spoken against Georgiana, but neither his sister nor his mother is entirely sympathetic toward her."

"So they are not in favor of the marriage?" A cold flush spread down Lizzy's face.

"They are in favor in so much as it is a splendid match and it protects the family's reputation."

Lizzy thought of Lady Catherine, wondering where she might have stood on the matter, but decided to let the words die on her tongue.

"May I inquire as to Mrs. Collins?" Darcy still did not meet her eye.

"She is quite recovered and asks me to convey her deepest gratitude for your assistance." Lizzy dipped her head. "I must add my appreciation as well. When my cousin turned me out…" She swallowed hard against the tightness in her throat brought on by the mention of that odious character, "I am accustomed to the security of my father's estate and a village of friends where I am known. It was a new and frightening experience to suddenly realize how far from home I was and how alone."

Darcy finally met her eyes. "I am pleased to have been able to be of service to you."

Silence fell in the room again. Both fidgeted uneasily.

"I have been staying this last fortnight here with your sister. I believe she was lonely without you here. Now that you have returned, I am certain you have long desired my absence. I will make ready to return to my aunt and uncle's house as soon as they can send the carriage for me." She tried to rise, but found her knees quite weak.

"No, please, Miss Bennet," he fumbled over the word as he hurried to rise as well. "Please, there is no need. That is to say, I am afraid I will be much from here over the next several days. I will be needed to attend my aunt and uncle at Matlock House. It will be no trouble for you to stay here. I am sure my sister would value your company and you would be most welcome. You do not need to trouble yourself on my account. I doubt you will see me much at all before the wedding." He wrung his hands and stared at them.

Cold disappointment poured over her, though she tried to argue it away. "I do not wish to be in the way during such a trying time for your family."

"You are no trouble, and I know my sister finds you a comfort. Please, stay." He maneuvered until he caught her eye. "I would find your presence a comfort as well. Please stay."

His eyes beseeched and tugged at her heart, making it beat faster with only a look.

Lizzy wrung her hands and started at the carpet. "I do not know." Glancing up she caught his eyes for a moment. _I will leave London soon, and I will never see him again. _"All right, I will stay."

"We still need to talk. There is much yet to be said. I have not yet—"

Voices in the hall interrupted him. Georgiana returned on Andrew's arm. "What say we send for Richard to join us and have a light supper early tonight? I am sure you are tired from traveling and would like to retire early, but I am starved for your company and simply cannot allow us to eat apart." Georgiana smiled broadly. "And Lizzy, you must join us as well, for I know you will argue this is a family affair, but…" 

_Please, do not say I will be you sister soon. _Lizzy bit her lip hard.

"I will need someone to defend me against all the Fitzwilliam men at the table tonight!" Georgiana laughed, though it did not reach her eyes as she looked at her brother.

"Then I suppose I must," Lizzy curtsied teasingly.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

The clock struck the wee hours of the morning, but still Darcy stared at the ceiling. The dark spot above his bed had not moved no matter how much he squinted and willed it to. With a grumble of wordless dissatisfaction, he threw on his dressing gown and slipped from his room. The cool breeze in the hallway reminded him painfully of what stood in his path—the room that held Elizabeth. The closed door teased him, tempted him, tearing at the renowned Darcy control by which he had held himself in check for so many years. How could one fiery little woman who had not even sought his attentions so throw his world into a complete upheaval?

Seeing her was both harder and easier than he had feared. He knew he would never forget the dinner they had shared. She was all that was gracious and kind and did everything proper to make all around her comfortable. It felt somehow she was even more the hostess than Georgiana. Though she did nothing that could even be remotely construed as usurping Georgiana, there was something about Lizzy's presence that drew him like a moth to her light. Her tales, which carefully avoided all reference to Kent, were amusing and witty and left him with an aching emptiness that soured his stomach. How empty Pemberley would be without her, how empty he would be. But no, his foolishness, his pride, his stupidity in the face of Bingley's and Richard's warnings, they had cost him everything now. He clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut.

"I shall overcome this," he whispered, his strained voice foreign in his ears.

Still, he could not abandon all hope. She had agreed not only to help Georgiana, but to stay, _here _under his roof.The unfinished conversation still hung between them, taunting him with a hint of promise. Perhaps…

Without direct permission from his thoughts, his feet carried him to his library, a shallow reflection of its sister at Pemberley, but still a place of comfort. The low fire in the fireplace surprised him. Had it not been for the convenience of finding the room already warmed and lit for him, he would have gone off in search of the negligent staff member to scold.

He entered, but an odd shadow caught his attention, stopping him after only two steps. Once his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he made out the shape of a small figure curled up on the chair nearest the fireplace. _Elizabeth! _Immediately images a similar meeting in what seemed like a different reality at Netherfield Park flashed through is mind. Hope and anxiety tangled in his chest, tightening around his heart until he fought for breath.

He said nothing but went to his brandy decanter and poured, watching his hands shake so hard he knew he would spill the liquor if he filled the glass more than halfway. A second flash, one of sweet wine caught attention, so he also poured a second small glass. The crystal stopper clinked when he sealed the bottle. He felt her eyes upon him.

"Miss Bennet," his voice was barely above a whisper. How was it that the simple act of speech became such a monumental effort in her presence? He brought her the glass. "I took the liberty. I hope you do not mind."

With a sad smile—there was such overwhelming sadness in her eyes, what could possibly be grieving her so?—she took the glass.

"You are very kind, sir. Thank you." She took a sip as he sat down in the chair opposite hers. "I am afraid you have found me intruding upon the privacy of your retreat once again. It would seem that you are still intent on encountering me when I am at my most improper." She glanced down at her own dressing gown, tied demurely around her waist, and blushed.

"I have never found you improper, Elizabeth ." Even he could feel the intimacy with which he spoke her name. The firelight accented the high color that flooded her cheeks. "You are the very epitome of a lady at all times." He drank from his glass but found it suddenly tasteless. Even the heat of the brandy down the back of his throat had cooled in the flames of her presence. He emptied his glass and set it aside.

"You are very kind, sir." She cradled the crystal goblet in her hands, staring into the reflections of the firelight on the crimson surface of the wine.

The silence between then begged for release.

"Miss Bennet, I must apologize—"

"Mr. Darcy, I must apologize—"

They smiled at each other sheepishly. "Please," he nodded at her, "please, go ahead."

She set her glass aside and bowed her head in a brief nod. "Thank you." She swallowed hard and turned her eyes toward the ceiling. "Sir, you must allow me to apologize—"

"No, it is I who must beg—"

"You told me to go ahead, did you not? Now I must insist that you follow through and listen to me." She smiled wryly.

"I forget myself. Pray continue." He parked his elbows on his knees and balanced his chin on his fists. His lips drifted into a sappy smile that he was all too aware of but unable to restrain as he drank in her unaffected beauty.

"Thank you." She smoothed her nightdress across her legs as she drew her knees under her chin. "Besides, you have had your letter in which to offer your apologies, I have had no such luxury. So I must take the opportunity now. Having spoken to Charlotte—Mrs. Collins—and to my father, I realize…that is I must…it has come to my attention…" she grumbled and squeezed her temples. "I have been unfair to you and something of a hypocrite if the truth be told."

Her words fell like cold water on his face. His forehead knotted above blinking eyes. "I am afraid I do not understand at all."

"My father reminded me most sternly that while I have judged you for keeping secrets from me—"

"As well you should have. It was wrong of me not to trust you with these things. In my pride and arrogance I allowed you to be hurt by my cousin, whom, in my stupidity I thought I was protecting you from." The worlds tumbled out in a rush until he stopped them with a hand to his mouth.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes in an expression he was certain was full of warm affection.

"You had no reason to think that a woman in my position would ever come into contact with Miss de Bourgh. After all, she never travels beyond the limited sphere of her own homes. Truly, the thought of my ever meeting her is so fanciful it has the sound of a circulating novel to it. You could not have predicted such a thing would happen."

He raked tangled curls back from his face. "While that may be the case, I should have trusted you. You deserved that much from me."

"That is true."

He winced, but bit his tongue hard to contain himself. He felt her eyes on him and wondered if she had noticed.

"That makes my own transgressions against you all the more heinous."

"What transgressions?" He scooted forward in his chair, straining to be closer.

"I am guilty of that which I have condemned you for: keeping secrets." She briefly caught his eyes, looking away before he could recognize what was in them. "You accused me of being a hypocrite, and I am afraid you were entirely correct."

"I should never have said such a thing—"

She held up a hand to silence him. "You were entirely correct. Both Papa and Charlotte challenged me for expecting you to share your secrets with me when I have not done the same for you."

"I never asked. I am not asking—" Panic grew in his breast. Should her secrets be so frightening? What could there be? He mouth grew dry and his tongue thick.

"I know you are not. But since I have become privy to the skeletons in your family's closets, it is only right that you know mine."

"I would in no way seek to invade your privacy—"

"I know. But it is only right. In this way you can be certain that your own family secrets are safe. You know I cannot…will not…betray your confidences because you will know mine. If I reveal yours, it is with the knowledge that you can do the same with mine."

He drew back sharply. "Surely you know that I would never do such a thing. Regardless of your behavior, I could not betray your trust."

"Please do not hear me accusing you…I do not believe you would. Not at all. If I had entertained any doubt, these weeks spent with your sister would have driven them all away. I am quite confident in your character."

"Then there is no need—"

She lifted her hand again. "There is need…I have need. It is only fair—" She stared at the ceiling together, chest rising and falling with deep gulping breaths. "—and I need you to know."

"Why?"

She released a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Having discovered the true nature of your character, I have seen that I was quite wrong in the accusations I made against you."

He heart raced. "Then you—"

"No." She shook her head firmly.

His shoulders sagged and cold enveloped him despite the heat of the fire.

"That is what you need to understand. I have told you before— I am not fit to be any man's wife, especially not a man like you. I have seen the world that you live in and there is no doubt in my mind, I have no place in a world such as this." She swept her hand towards the window.

"How can you say such a thing? My sister—"

"Is far more gracious than she realizes. Her own hardships have made her particularly understanding. Were she to know my secrets, I have full confidence she would continue to accept me as her friend."

"And I would not?" He clenched his fist, nails digging into his palm. He relished the sharp pain that took his focus away from the pain in his chest.

"I believe you would allow my continued acquaintance with your sister. But that is not the same as—" she shook her head and plucked at the fringe of her shawl. "I am not the woman you believe me to be."

He drew breath to speak but stopped with the glare she cast his direction.

"The objections to my person I presented to you before are only a small part of the true reason why I cannot hope to marry—you or any man my father would consider worthy. When you were in Hertfordshire, did you hear tell of Horace Carver?"

"The name sounds familiar." He tapped his forefinger against his lips. "Yes. The Carvers are the owners of Netherfield are they not? I seem to remember Bingley's solicitor saying they had a son who drowned in the pond—five years ago, was it? They could not bear to stay at the house, so they leased. I wondered why it appeared at such a price when I saw the advert for it."

"Yes," she nodded. "That is the family." She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "In the months before his death, Horace Carver made me an offer of marriage."

The revelation left him blinking and shaking his head. "Were you much distressed by his death?" He winced. "That is not what I mean—"

"No offence taken. It is a fair question to ask. The answer is that I was, but not for the reasons you might suggest." She turned back to the fire and exhaled hard.

He watched her watching the flames, wondering if she could feel his eyes on her the way he felt hers on him.

"It was not long after my mother passed. Jane and I, under the rather less than watchful eyes of my Aunt and Uncle Phillips were just out in society. I was but sixteen then, the same age as your sister is now." She rocked slightly, a faraway look in her eyes. "Jane had many beaus; she could not be so beautiful for nothing, you know. I did not begrudge her that; she is so gentle and good that I could not be jealous. She was worthy of her callers."

Darcy watched her closely. His chest ached as she talked of this young man. Carver had been the first to court her and for that he had to hate him. There was something in the way she spoke that made it clear he had hurt her. What did he do to her? Perhaps it was better that he had already met his demise for if he had done what Darcy would not even name, then nothing would stop him defending her honor. "This Mr. Carver began to call on you?" he asked, his voice strained and thin.

"No." She laughed with bitterness so poignant he could taste it like quinine on his tongue. "He could hardly stoop to those levels. Make no mistake, sir, he was not my admirer." She rested her chin on her knees with such vulnerability he fought not to rush to her side and shelter her. "His elder brother called on Jane, and Horace would come with him. We would chaperone Jane and James as they would walk. So I was much thrown into Horace's company."

"He was not gentlemanly." He could see that most clearly in the transformation that had taken place in the few short moments since she had spoken his name. The strength and fire, so much a part of who she was at other times, had departed, leaving her an empty shell of _his _Elizabeth.

"No, not in any sense of the word. His manners were crude, and he insisted in speaking of things that were quite inappropriate." She blushed and hid her face in her hands. "I learned many creative invectives in his company. I have been told I can swear like a soldier should the occasion arise."

"And he did more than just speak." Darcy's clipped words betrayed the tension he struggled to hide.

"Again, you are correct, though his words alone were quite capable of inflicting distress. You see it was he who first brought it to my attention how I was unfit to be considered marriageable by any man of quality."

"How could he possibly—"

She lifted her face and looked him in the eye. "It was he who first showed me how… inappropriate…my accomplishments were and how unfitting the study of algebra and husbandry were for a lady."

"Idiot. What sort of use was he fit for? He sounds like a fribble1."

"He was." She swallowed hard and struggled to speak. "There was more though. Had it been only that, I think I could have dismissed him."

"Then what—"

"Before then I had never really considered the matter. Since then I can see it no other way. Prior to even my sixteenth birthday, I had lost my delicacy. Caring for my father, the estate, even some of the things my mother had told us of—all equated to a loss of innocence from which I could never recover. "

Darcy struggled against his desire to rush to her side, sit at her feet and assure her of the complete foolishness of the villain Horace Carver. But she would not meet his eyes, and he knew that she would not welcome such intimacy from him.

She smiled weakly. "Somehow, with Jane's beauty and angelic demeanor, such things could be overlooked, and Horace's brother was only too glad to do so. But it was different with me. My interests were too unladylike. I had never learnt to be a real lady, so in me, it was unforgivable."

"No! That is utter nonsense!" Darcy slammed his fist into his hand and sprang to his feet. He paced across to the fireplace several times, then dragged the ottoman next to her chair and sat beside her, close enough that he could almost touch her.

"It did not stop there, though. Had it, perhaps…things might be different."

"I do not believe I want to know any more."

"I understand that," she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, biting her lip. After several long breaths, she opened them again. "But I need you to know. I owe you that much."

He clenched his jaw against his own protests, knowing them hopeless in the face of her determination.

"His brother was considering offering for Jane, and he told me about it. Then he said he thought I was tolerable enough—"

Darcy snorted angrily. "You are by far the handsomest woman of my acquaintance."

"He said I was tolerable enough and despite all my other defects, he was considering offering for me as well." She hid her eyes with her hands, hiding from his gaze. "He assured me that he would see to it that I received a proper education and see me made into a proper lady."

Darcy muttered invectives of his own under his breath.

"You can imagine, as impudent as I am now, how I must have answered him in my younger days."

"I cannot imagine anything you could have said that would not have been entirely appropriate and even far too gracious for the likes of such a—"

"He did not receive my response well at all. According to him, I was ungrateful for his attentions and I should have been more sensible of the very great favor he was doing by paying me any attention at all. He was very, very angry." She bit her knuckle. "We were walking with Jane and James, and he pulled me aside into the woods. He…"

"You do not need to say any more, I do not think I can hear anymore." He knew he should not, but he grabbed her hand and held it hard.

"He forced his attentions on me. I was so startled I did not fight him. I should have—done something, but I did not. I can hardly believe it now, but it is the sad truth. He tore my dress and exposed me to ensure my father would bow to his wishes." She rubbed tears from her cheeks.

"Your father would not…"

"You are right. He did not even believe what Horace said. I am afraid I denied the truth of it as well. I invented an excuse for the damage to my dress, and he believed me, as did my sisters. You see, the Carvers were known for their crass manners, and they were not well liked." She squared her jaw and squeezed his hand. "I lied to my father and my friends, and they believed me because more than anything, they wanted to believe me."

Darcy searched for words but could not find any worth speaking.

"Horace was true to his word, and he spread his somewhat embellished version of what happened—in which I threw myself at him—around town. My reputation was in tatters and there were several ugly public confrontations in the street of Meryton between his sisters and mine. Finally his father approached Papa as he and my Uncle Philips sat in the coffee house. Mr. Carver tried to persuade my father to agree to a marriage between us so all the gossip against both our families would fade away quietly in the excitement of a wedding, even better a double wedding for Jane and James could be included as well."

"The audacity of the man." Darcy shook with rising fury.

"Yes. You can well imagine my father's response. He all but called Mr. Carver out to a duel." Lizzy laughed under her breath. "I do not imagine my father a very good shot any more, but he would have tried, if I know him at all."

"I am not even sure I would wager against his marksmanship. He has surprised me often enough."

Lizzy's eyes flickered toward him, filled with gratitude, and his heart leapt.

"That incident, added to the other gossip, threatened to destroy all our reputations. My Aunt Philips was so distraught. But then, several weeks later, she came to the house with astounding news. One of Horace's gaming mates had caught him in a web of falsehoods that were openly proven. The whole of Meryton now knew that Horace was a liar and nothing he said could be believed. My family was redeemed in a way. The only evidence against me was Horace's word, and now everyone knew it to be of no value."

He pressed her hand to his cheek.

"Horace took his change of fortunes very poorly. The situation grew worse and worse until he was found floating in the pond one summer afternoon." She shrugged and turned back to the fire.

"Your family's reputation was restored. I still do not understand why you—"

"Our reputation was restored, but I was not. Or have you forgotten? The rumors of my ruin that Horace had spread were essentially true." Her words trailed off as though caught in a too tight throat. "I was the one who had lied, to everyone. Even my father does not know, and I hope he never does."

"And so for this, you are convinced you are unfit to be a wife? You are unworthy because of what he has done."

"And what I have done. If I had been honest and faced the consequences of what I had done—"

"What you had done? Do you not hear what you are saying? What of his transgressions?" Darcy pushed to his feet.

"On top of all my other inadequacies, I am sullied, and I have lied about it, and my good reputation is just a sham." She pulled her shawl closer and rose. "I accused you of not being trustworthy, but the truth is, what I accused you of is what is true of myself. I cannot ask you to trust me, and without trust, what is there?"

He reached for her hands, but she slipped out of range.

"I thank you for hearing me out, Mr. Darcy. I trust in your character to accept my deepest apologies for abusing you so severely. You did not deserve that from me for you are truly the best of men." She glanced into his eyes for a moment, and he could see her tears. "I should bid you goodnight." She dipped in a brief curtsey and disappeared from the study.

Darcy stared after her as she went, unable to pull his thoughts together quickly enough. _She is so quick to forgive others, but she cannot forgive herself. How can I get her to see reason? Will she even allow me? _He stared at the door, drawn to it with a magnetic pull. Before he knew it, he was several steps outside the library where he saw Lizzy standing, head bowed, in the hall. Her shoulder felt warm and soft under his hand. When she turned up her face, he could not stop the kiss that followed. His heart swelled with hope.

"You think far too meanly of yourself," he whispered into her hair, a hand at her waist pulling her to him. "Have you forgotten? You story is not far different from my sister's. How could I forgive her and then hold your past against you?"

She hesitated and finally yielded to him, allowing him to press her to himself.

Relief sufficed his being. "Be my wife, Elizabeth. Marry me, with Georgiana and Andrew, in two days. I have the license already. I will send for your family…"

She wrenched herself a way, a hand firmly against his chest. "No. You deserve so much more. Your sister faced her situation; I ran. I lied. What could we have without trust, and how can you trust one who has dealt dishonestly with everyone around her? You will recover, of that I am sure. You will find a woman who deserves…" She turned away and dashed down the hall, disappearing into the darkness.

He took several steps to follow, but his feet were too heavy to continue. "I have lost her." He struggled to swallow back the bitter truth.

1 Fribble: effeminate dandy.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

He stood, staring at the spot she had just occupied, swallowing back the scream that fought for utterance. He longed to call out to her, but he could not wake the rest of the household or betray her privacy. Finally, he slunk back into the library and tumbled into his chair. He swallowed his remaining brandy, savoring the fiery burn down the back of his throat.

The flickering fireplace mesmerized him. Focusing on the dancing flames permitting him respite, for that moment forget everything around him. _Tick, tick, tick. _The mantle clock added its voice, trying to soothe its master. For a moment it helped, but only a moment.

Fabric swished and small feet pattered on the carpet. His chest swelled, and he whipped around to see…Georgiana. A strangled sound escaped his lips though he immediately regretted it and he crumpled back into his chair.

Dear girl that she was, she said nothing but rushed to his side and laid her arm over his shoulders. She pressed his head into her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist. They rocked together for several long breaths until his composure returned.

"She refused you?"

He nodded, his jaw so tense he could hardly speak. "Did you hear?" he whispered in a voice he barely recognized as his own.

She rested her chin on top of his head. "I did."

"What can I do? How can I make her see?" He clutched her tighter, her warmth penetrating the coldness that enveloped him.

"I do not know. She has to make peace with her own demons."

"How did you do it?"

Georgiana sighed and perched beside him on the arm of the chair . "It was not easy. I think it came down to forgiving…him…myself…and knowing you forgave me helped me find the strength to do it."

"But she knows I—" He twisted his neck to look up at her.

"I do not think it is your forgiveness she needs." She shook her head, frowning.

"Whose then? I will—"

She squeezed his arm. "No, you cannot. This is something she has to do herself. Or not. But once she has, then perhaps she will be able accept you, if you are willing to wait."

"What choice have I?" His words came out as more of a croak than speech.

"I will try to speak to her. I make you no promises. She has to face this on her own terms." She smoothed sweat-plastered hair back from his forehead.

"She is so stubborn!"

"Like a certain man I know." She laughed quietly and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. As silently as she had come, she left him to face his own demons.

Saturday morning dawned bright and cold promising a sparkling day for a wedding. Neither Lizzy nor Georgiana slept in, unable to bear the excitement of it all. Lizzy joined the bride and helped made make Georgiana ready all the while trying to distract herself from the tumult of feelings that roiled with in her. Time flew and soon they were boarding the coach that would take them to Matlock House.

Lizzy knew the bishop himself waited for them. He would conduct a simple ceremony in the parlor to join the viscount and his bride. _A bishop and a ceremony in their home! Who would imagine I could be invited, much less participate, in such an event! _

The ride itself was brief and soon Lizzy watched Georgiana climb out of the carriage on Richard's arm. Lizzy carefully freed her skirt from the confines of the coach as she watched her friend mount the steps into the grand house. A footman stood ready to help Elizabeth down. A tiny pang of disappointment knotted her chest when she did not see Darcy waiting for her.

The foyer was decorated in a simple but elegant way. A large flower arrangement graced the table. Matching garlands dipped over the doorways. The scent of hothouse flowers filled the air. Lizzy curtsied her way through introductions, one blurring into another and another. Instinctively her eyes sought Darcy. She found him attending a wan older man propped in a large chair. _The Earl. _Darcy's attitude, his expression, everything about him bespoke a man doing his duty with affection and gentleness, a man with whom few could compare.

"Good morning, Miss Bennet." Richard's deep voice jolted her from her observations.

"Good morning, sir." She smoothed her skirts and curtsied.

"You look lovely this morning." He smiled Darcy's smile and looked at her with eyes that looked too much like Darcy's. He must have stolen he expression from his cousin, maddening man!

The knife stabbing her side was the revelation she wished it was Darcy and not Richard who spoke. "Thank you. Miss Darcy has excellent taste. She herself chose this dress, and I am quite appreciative of it. My father, as I am quite sure you can imagine, has little knowledge or use for fashion." The corner of her lips twitched.

"Truly, I cannot imagine why not. But it is the lady who makes the gown, not the other way around."

Her cheeks burned, and she averted her eyes.

"I have been instructed to bring you to Georgiana. It seems the bride has become quite a bundle of nerves." Richard winked and offered his arm.

Lizzy took his arm, and he led her to a small parlor away from the main rooms. The door was shut, and an older woman paced before it. Her gown and headdress betrayed her breeding. She could be none other but the wife of a peer.

"Mother, this is Miss Bennet," Richard said softly. "Miss Bennet, Lady Matlock."

Elizabeth curtsied, deeply hoping she would not choose that moment to lose her balance and land on the floor. "A pleasure to meet you, my lady." She held her breath until she was back up and still on her feet. Darcy would have appreciated the humor of her situation. She wondered if Richard would. Somehow she did not think so.

"I am pleased you have come, Miss Bennet." Lady Matlock mopped her brow with a lacy handkerchief. "My niece seems to have fallen to a case of…well, who knows what, and she is talking of calling off the wedding. She refuses to speak to me and says you are the only one she will see. I cannot fathom why she would choose now to have a break down. It would have been far more considerate of her to have gotten it over with last night when we did not have a house full of guests to inconvenience and the Bishop…" She threw trembling hands into the air.

Richard struggled to suppress a snicker that escaped anyway.

Perhaps his sense of humor was better than she had first thought. "I will try to calm her. I am sure she is fine. Miss Darcy is a good and steady girl. I am certain this is nothing." Lizzy rapped on the door. "It is Elizabeth; may I come in?"

"Come," a strained voice wafted through the door.

Nodding at Lady Matlock and Richard, Lizzy pushed the door open and slipped inside.

Georgiana stood at the window, the curtain crushed in her fists. She did not turn when Lizzy entered.

Lizzy hurried to her side. "You look lovely this morning."

Georgiana shrugged and traced the profile of her face on the glass, the barest smudge left behind.

"What is troubling you? You have never voiced any doubts to me before." Lizzy rested her hand lightly on Georgiana's arm.

Georgiana drew a deep breath, then exhaled, fogging the window and revealing the tracing of her profile. "I do not know if I can do this." She leaned her forehead against the glass.

"You are unsure of your cousin?"

"It is not that. He is the best of men, and he has done so much to remind me of that in the last few days. He is so good to both of the girls. He treats my daughter no differently than his. How many men, especially of his rank, would do such a thing? He is the best of men." She pulled back and polished the window with the edge of the curtain.

"If he is, then why do you hesitate?" Lizzy squeezed her arm. "Did you wish for a more romantic situation?"

Georgiana coughed out a little laugh. "In our circles no one expects such a thing. I am grateful for a man that I truly like and esteem."

"In that case, I do not understand your concern."

"How can I allow him to tie himself to someone like me?" Georgiana slowly turned, a faint glisten of tears in her eyes.

Lizzy pulled a handkerchief out of her reticule and pressed it into Georgiana's hand. "Someone like you? What is there to repine in a connection to you?"

"He should be connected to a woman of virtue—" Georgiana turned back to the window, hiding her face.

"And you have none?" Lizzy felt that familiar pinch in her belly; that question she had too often wondered of herself. Why did Georgiana have to choose now to explore such delicate issues?

"What do you think?" Georgiana retreated from the window, but kept her back to Lizzy.

"I think you were forced against your will; I cannot see a loss of virtue in that." Lizzy's words were thin, and she stared at the window, not through it. She listened to Georgian's movements and breathing, finally turning to look.

"It was not all against my will." Georgiana's shoulders sank, and she leaned heavily against the back of a chair. "I am sure Anne whispered to you that I had a _tendre'_ for him. The truth is that I did. For some time I welcomed his attentions and the way he made me feel so special. I liked his compliments and his looks at me."

Lizzy crossed three long steps to her side and extended her hand.

Georgiana pulled away, rejecting the comfort. "Does this not make me as guilty as he? Would a truly virtuous woman have permitted any of this?"

"Had he been a true gentlemen, one intending to properly court you, would any of those things have been questionable? No, they would not have. You could not have known what he had in mind." Heat rose in her face. Lizzy knew her voice was sharp, but at this moment she did not care.

Georgiana bit her lip. "I do not know, perhaps not. But I never told my brother any of this. He has no idea how I admired Mr. Wickham. I kept it all secret from him, the one who should have been privy to my nearest concerns."

"No one shares _all_ their concerns, especially a young woman. Much less to a man as much older than you as your brother. None of that matters; nothing you allowed amounts to impropriety. That was all on his side when he violated your will." Lizzy took Georgiana's hand.

"But—"

"He attacked your body; none can deny that." She leaned in to whisper into Georgiana's ear. "Virtue is not contained in your body. It is in your heart and in your mind. Where it counts, my friend, you are a most virtuous woman."

Georgiana dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief, then stared at it, tracing the pattern embroidered on it.

"I have met enough women who might have otherwise been considered virtuous, like your cousin Miss de Bourgh, who in truth are anything but." Lizzy craned her neck to catch Georgiana's eyes.

Georgiana giggled slightly. "I suppose you have a point in that." She folded the handkerchief into a very small bundle.

Lizzy rubbed her back gently, playing a moment with a stray curl before tucking it back into the elaborate pinned structure Georgiana's maid had wrought.

With a deep breath, Georgiana turned. "I suppose you are right. If Andrew objected to me, I have no doubt I would be able tell. He, like all our Fitzwilliam men, is not one to hide his contempt. I should trust him to mean what he has said."

"Yes, my dear, you should." Lizzy straightened the neckline of Georgiana's gown and adjusted her necklace.

A loud rap at the door startled them both. "The bishop is ready, ladies, shall I tell him you are as well?" Richard called through it.

Lizzy lifted her eyebrow and cocked her head.

"We are, Richard. We shall be out in a moment," Georgiana called, straightening her shoulders and pressing the handkerchief back into Lizzy's hand.

Lizzy tucked Georgiana's hand into her arm. "Come, my virtuous friend, it is time to meet your groom."

"I will remember what you have said," Georgiana followed her to the door. "Perhaps though, you should remember what you have told me as well."

Lizzy's face grew cold, and she drew breath to speak, but Georgiana opened the door, and they were met with Darcy's and Richard's expectant faces.

"Are you ready?" Darcy whispered, taking Georgiana's arm.

Lizzy immediately saw the deep sadness and resignation in Darcy's eyes. He nodded toward her with the barest of smiles, but then focused on his sister as he led her toward the parlor.

She stood dizzy from the barrage of thoughts and feelings bombarding her. If only she could find a quiet spot, for even a moment. How could she be so close to him and maintain her carefully crafted composure when everything in her wanted to—

"Miss Bennet," Richard offered his arm. "Thank you. I do not know what you said to her, but you seem to be the font of wisdom Darcy claims you to be. She has been through enough; truthfully, they both have. This will be good for the both of them. And the girls."

She slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, glad for the support. Her knees wobbled beneath her skirts. "I can see that. The viscount seems to be just one among a family of true gentlemen."

"Thank you, Miss Bennet. I feared that perhaps you might consider me more of a mule, or a donkey perhaps." He winked, his eyes twinkling.

Darcy had shared _that _with him? Her cheeks and ears burned so hot, surely Richard must have been able to feel it himself. "No, indeed, I could not imagine such a creature in epaulets."

Richard snorted, managing to compose himself just in time for them to make their entrance.

The ceremony took very little time. It was the first ceremony Lizzy had attended that was not in a proper church sanctuary. Though she thought that perhaps some of her acquaintances in Meryton might object to the location of the ceremony, there was nothing profane or vulgar about it. The look in Andrew's eyes when he repeated his vows arrested her. Theirs was not a marriage of romantic love, but it was possible that he had come to love Georgiana, nonetheless. She struggled to hold back the tears that burned her eyes and blurred her vision. She would not spoil their joy with her tears, for they were not tears of joy but of her own desolation.

The wedding breakfast was held in the dining room just a handful of steps from the ceremony. Andrew, Richard and Darcy carefully carried the earl to the dining room and settled him into another chair so he was present with them for that part of the celebration as well. Watching their care of the ailing elder Matlock reminded her painfully of Darcy's tender way with her father. The pain in her chest made her certain there must be a knife there cutting out her heart.

The meal was quietly elegant, and enjoyed by all. Almost all. Lizzy hung back and watched, hesitant to intrude on the family. Somehow they did not quite fit the image of a high society family who had barely escaped a social tragedy. They were kind and supportive and, could it be, even forgiving when it was one of their own who had been hurt. The harsh judgments she had heard at Rosings were not present, instead the room sang with an undercurrent of hope and possibilities.

She rejoiced with them, but her own heart could not join with them. When the festivities were winding down, she slipped away.

Hours later, Darcy arrived back at his town house, worn and empty. He had seen his sister and her husband off for their wedding trip, a brief visit to Brighton. Lord Matlock was tucked back safely in his bed, a look of peace in his eyes that they had not seen before. Right before he had left, he had shared a particularly fine brandy with Richard to celebrate the end of the threat to their family.

Now, climbing up the front steps to his own home, Darcy felt cold and tired. And alone. The twins and their nursery maid were upstairs and would be staying with him until their parents returned. He briefly considered visiting the nursery but quickly dismissed the thought. It would only remind him of Georgiana and how she would be leaving him soon. Perhaps Elizabeth had not yet retreated to her room.

He checked the morning room, parlor, drawing room and library, only to find them all empty. Glancing down the hallway, he saw the door to Lizzy's chamber was open, sunlight streaming into the hallway from the window. Unable to restrain himself, he dashed down the hall, rehearsing what he might say. Surely he could make her see, make her change her mind. After the look he had seen on her face at the wedding, would she? Would she not? Peeking into the doorway, his heart sank. The room was empty of all evidence of inhabitance.

"She left near two hours ago, sir," a young maid said as she edged past him, her arms piled high with linens she had just stripped from the bed.

He grunted a response. The very last bit of strength in his bones faded away. Desolate, he wandered to his study and shut the door hard behind him. He fell, like a sack of old potatoes into his chair, grunting. His hand landed on a pile of letters that he knocked onto the floor. He mumbled invectives he reserved for special occasions and decided that they could very well stay where they landed for the rest of the morning. He leaned back in his chair and threw an arm over his face. "I will overcome this. I will."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

The carriage topped the final hill into Meryton. Lizzy hugged herself tightly as the familiar buildings came into view. _There is Uncle Philips's office. _In the back of her mind she could hear the clatter of hooves on cobble stone, Wickham's voice, Lydia's scream. A wave of dizziness. Pain seared along the side of her head as it met the ground. A shudder chased down her spine, and her face burned. She looked away. _Will I ever be able to walk through town again? _

She picked up her bonnet and tied the ribbons firmly under her chin. _I was able to stay at Netherfield and not be haunted by Horace's ghost, so this will pass as well. It will. It must. _

The structures of Meryton trailed behind them and faded into memory. The house at Longbourn rose on the horizon. Her family was gathered on the porch to greet her, all except Lydia, of course. Lizzy had no doubt that she still kept to her rooms. I would be like her to milk her injuries for maximum attention. When had she become so cynical?

They greeted her warmly. The affection and chatter slowly drove away the remaining chill in her heart, and amidst their embraces, she was ushered inside to draw a deep breath of home.

Dinner was already on the table, and Lydia awaited them there. Elizabeth blushed, her uncharitable thoughts toward her sister sour in her belly. Conversations that had already been started buzzed around her. She fought to catch bits from all the topics, but finally surrendered the effort, feeling somehow out of practice. How long had it been since she had been surrounded by such warmth and security? Surely it must be at least a lifetime. Her weariness assured her of that. The tempting scents of simple roast mutton and potatoes teased her, stirring up the agreeable feelings she had feared might be gone forever. She turned to her plate with relish.

"So you miss all the fine cooking that your fancy hosts have offered you?" Mr. Bennet cocked his one remaining eyebrow as he set his fork and knife down with a soft clink.

"Mrs. Collins's cook at the parsonage was tolerable enough and you know how accomplished Aunt Gardiner's cook is.." Lizzy dabbed a napkin at the corners of her mouth. "But, to be entirely honest—"

"Which we all know you to be to a fault." A smile lifted his lips.

Lizzy rolled her eyes. Finally she was home! A knot in her belly released so abruptly she nearly sobbed. "To be honest, the meals at Rosings Park were quite another story."

"That is to say they quite belonged in a gothic novel perhaps, as one more horror for our brave heroine to bear." His playful smirk drove back her tears.

"To be certain, Papa." She tucked the napkin under the edge of her plate. "The calves' foot jelly…" She shuddered, working her tongue over the roof of her mouth to drive out the phantom taste lingering there.

"Oh the horrors of the stuff! We well know it is true, for Hill has banished it from our table for years now. Definitely the substance of nightmares, that." He chuckled, hands folded over his belly.

"She is right though, Papa." Jane grinned. "It is ghastly." She raised her eyebrows at Lizzy.

Kitty sat up a little straighter and tapped her fingers on the table. "Tell us of the inhabitants of Rosings Park. Do you still call Charlotte a partridge?"

"She is of such a gentle disposition I cannot think of her as anything but." Lizzy stared off at the walls, scenes of Kent playing in her mind. She wrinkled her mouth and sighed. "As for the rest, with the partridge there was an adder, the old hen and the roe deer, the wasp and the dormouse."

Kitty giggled and clapped softly. Usually Elizabeth loved to tell Kitty stories, she was such an appreciative listener, but enthusiasm was difficult to find tonight.

"Dormouse, Lizzy?" Mr. Bennet turned toward her, stroking his chin. "I am quite aware of the others, but who is the dormouse?"

Lizzy bit her lip to still the mischievous smile that tugged her lips. "The dormouse, of course. He and his family lived in the wall between the parlor and drawing room. In the rare moments of quiet you could clearly hear them scurrying about, and occasionally he would even peek out and twitch his whiskers at me."

Jane gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Her brows rose higher than Elizabeth thought they could, eyes twinkling beneath.

"To think of a great lady like her entertaining with mice in the walls." Lydia giggled. "I suppose then that will become fashionable soon—"

Elizabeth whipped her head around to stare at Lydia. From the corner of her eye, she saw her father cocked his head in her direction.

"Yes, yes!" Kitty clapped her hands gleefully. "Soon we will be seeing articles in 'Ladies Magazine' on the correct way to keep dormice in your walls."

"And the correct number of them to have," Mary added, her eyes shining.

"For it would truly be a faux pas to have too many or too few of them." Mr. Bennet pulled back his shoulders and puffed his chest and ducked his chin in a striking impression of Mr. Collins.

Lizzy held her breath, shaking, but could not contain her mirth. With her laugher bubbling forth, the dam broke, and they all laughed until they cried.

"I am glad you are come home, dear." Mr. Bennet reached across the table with an open hand.

She took it, twining her fingers in his. Her eyes misted as she stared at their hands, and she knew everything would be right again, somehow.

"Oh, Lizzy! We have not heard Lyddie laugh since—well since everything happened in Meryton. I am so glad you were here to help her find her humor again." Jane carefully plaited Lizzy's hair.

"I am not certain I would go so far as to say that. One good joke does not a full recovery make." Lizzy tried to look over her shoulder, nearly pulling the braid out of Jane's hands.

"Oh, I know, but we have all been hoping for just such a sign! It is as though we can find hope once again." Jane tied a ribbon to the bottom of the thick braid. "We missed you."

"I missed all of you, too, very much. It is good to be home." She leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "So have all the wedding details been arranged?" Lizzy turned and propped elbows on knees, chin on fists.

"Aunt Philips—"

"How is it Papa allowed her to have anything to do with your wedding? When I left, he had all but forbidden her contact—"

Jane dropped down on the bed and hugged her knees to her chest. "It is shocking, I know. I do not actually know the details, but she and Uncle Philips came over one evening, and the three of them talked long into the night. I expect she convinced Papa that she understood the error of her ways and truly repented for everything. In return he gave her permission to plan the wedding." Tears pooled in her eyes. She swiped her hand across them. "You cannot know how pleased I am that they have made peace over my wedding."

"That is a very good thing indeed. I am so happy for you." Lizzy wanted to say more, but the words tangled into a painful mass in her throat.

"Everything has been settled for two weeks from today. The only thing that remains to be determined is what you shall wear. I fear there may not be time enough to have a new gown made for you."

"I believe that I have taken care of that already." Lizzy jumped up and flung open her closet. "Miss Darcy insisted on having this made for me when her gown was made. I think it quite lovely." She held up the silvery-blue gown.

"Oh, it is truly stunning! It suits you so well. But if you wear so fine a gown to stand up with me, what will your wedding dress have to look like?" Jane pulled the skirt open to admire the embroidery.

Lizzy's face fell. She turned back to the closet, hiding her face as she put the gown away, and struggled for composure. She breathed deeply and hung the dress, taking particular care to straighten the fabric and smooth the lay of the skirt before she turned back to Jane. "You have not yet told me who is to stand up with Charles."

Lizzy still wondered if Jane could see the distress she struggled to hide.

"Would you believe I do not know? I believe he has written an old school chum of his, but he has not heard back. If he does not hear from his friend soon, then I suppose Mr. Hurst will be his choice."

"Quite a tolerable choice, I am sure, despite the fact Papa says he is a terrible chess player." Lizzy forced a laughed and sat beside Jane. "But perhaps his friend might still appear and be himself in want of a wife. Mayhaps you shall be rid of me yet."

"How can you say such a thing?" Genuine anger flashed in Jane's eyes, but did not linger. "What of Mr. Darcy?"

"It is not to be." Her throat closed over the words as if to keep them from being spoken. She rose and wandered to the fireplace, leaning against the mantle. "I think I knew from the first—even you disapproved, as I recall." She cocked her head and raised her brows.

"Lizzy, please do not remind me of what I said then! I was most harsh and—oh, I do not want to think of how I treated you that night. Please, tell me again that you forgive me."

"I do, Jane." She coaxed in a deep breath, then another, easing the knot that had taken residence in her belly. "Let us drop the matter of Mr. Darcy entirely. I am not the sort of woman to be a high society wife. I am sure there is a sturdy tradesman of sorts who is not so highborn as to be intolerant of a useful sort of girl like me."

Jane joined her by the fire place and tried to look into her face, but Lizzy turned away. "You do not sound like yourself at all. What is wrong?"

"Nothing." Lizzy shuffled to the window afraid if Jane touched her she would lose composure entirely. "I realized I must think of my future. I have learned from watching Charlotte and Miss de Bourgh and Miss Darcy. I have learned from their situations and choices. I should not spend the rest of my life at Longbourn. Since Papa does not need me—"

"Must you always be needed, Lizzy? Is that all you aspire to?" Jane took her by the shoulders. "I understand it is pleasant to be needed. But what of the possibility that you might need, or even want, something or someone else? Can you not open yourself to that possibility?"

Not this point again! Would she never stop hearing it? Lizzy closed her eyes for a moment. "I am sorry, Jane, but I feel suddenly unwell. These last few weeks have been so eventful. I think I need to sleep."

"Of course, I have been a selfish creature, keeping you up on my account." With a final hug, Jane left.

Lizzy pulled the blanket from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. Trundling so as not to trip on the blanket, she retreated to the window seat and curled up within. A nearly full moon lit the landscape, shimmering. A cold chill trailed down her spine. _What does one do when they want what they do not deserve? _

The next morning, Lizzy could not face Jane's inquiring looks. She gathered her pelisse and gloves to pay a call upon Lucas Lodge. Lady Lucas greeted her at the door and led her to the parlor.

"Charlotte will be down shortly. She is very tired of late." Lady Lucas said, sitting across from Lizzy, near the fire.

Lizzy nodded. "I gather than, she is otherwise well?"

"So far it seems so. We spoke with the midwife just yesterday and she is satisfied. But I fear the baby may be born with a terrible temper after being exposed to such a display."

"I am sure Charlotte's gentleness of spirit will be more than sufficient to overcome whatever other influence there might be." Lizzy looked away from Lady Lucas's piercing gaze.

"I cannot thank you enough for everything you did to bring Charlotte back to us. Had you not been there, I cannot imagine what harm could have befallen her."

Lizzy cringed. The last thing she wanted to think about was her adder-cousin and his poisonous bite. No, that was not true. The last thing she wanted to talk about was Darcy. Perhaps she could discuss Collins for a little while.

"I cannot imagine what that horrid man might have done to her." Lady Lucas dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief.

Someone cleared his voice in the doorway and Lizzy jumped. "I do not care what the law says." Sir William bustled into the room. "It is a very small man who can only manage his anger by striking his wife. Very low class if you ask me. Unbecoming of a gentleman. He could learn a lot from your father; 'tis a shame that he never had the good sense to recognize a good mentor when he had the opportunity."

"Indeed, sir," Lizzy stared at her hands. "Charlotte's last letter to me intimated that—"

"That I planned to return to Kent after Jane's wedding," Charlotte said from the doorway.

Lizzy lifted her head to look at her. "Yes, that."

Sir William grumbled under his breath, "I do not believe we have reached an agreement about that."

"I beg to disagree with you sir." Charlotte strode in far more boldly than the partridge ever had before. "I am only here to visit until I see Jane married."

Lady Lucas sent Lizzy a pleading look. "Perhaps we should leave you two to your conversation." She nodded at her husband and they left.

"You do not approve of my choice." Charlotte sat down across from Lizzy. A small swelling in her abdomen was briefly apparent as she smoothed her dress over her otherwise thin frame.

Lizzy could not meet Charlotte's eyes. "I do not understand it."

"After what he did, you wonder how can I consider putting myself back into his power?"

"Something like that, yes." Lizzy nodded, noting the faint bruises still along Charlotte's cheekbone.

Charlotte picked up the china shepherdess from the table beside her and ran her thumb along the crook. "You have no doubt heard of his unfortunate accident?"

"Yes, and Miss de Bourgh sent word to me asking that I return to assist her in this time of distress."

The shepherdess landed on the table with a soft _thunk_. "Will you do so?"

"No. I cannot. After all that has transpired, I have neither the strength nor the inclination to put myself in line for such abuse."

"As well you should not. Good for you, Lizzy. It is time you saw that." Charlotte leaned forward, every inch a lecturing governess.

Lizzy was on her feet before she realized it. "Pardon me?"

"When I invited you, I had not realized how Lady Catherine was planning on using you so cruelly."

"Her intentions were not cruel."

Charlotte scowled. "She cared nothing for your comfort; any kindness she gave, you wrestled from her most unwillingly I am sure."

"She intended to will her library to me in return," Lizzy answered weakly.

"And if she failed to carry out her promise, you would be left with no recourse or remedy. I am surprised at you. You are generally so shrewd as not to be drawn into such an agreement."

Lizzy did not like the look governess Charlotte was giving her. Where had her friend, the partridge, gone? "You believe she would purposefully have cheated me?"

"I know her to have been forgetful of those things she deemed below herself. Given that she is now dead, I am certain that there was no time for her to change her will. Whatever promise she may have given you is likely to remain unfulfilled. You owe her nothing. So do not repine for not going back."

"I am glad to have your approval, Charlotte, but that hardly answers my question. Why you are going back?" Lizzy crossed her arms and returned Charlotte's glower with a school mistress's glare of her own.

"Remember what I told you in Kent? None of that has changed. I like being mistress of my own home—very much, as a matter of fact. It is a hard thing to be suddenly deprived of that. I want my own home again. Mr. Collins is no longer in a way to harm me. Oh, he can spew his vitriol if he chooses, but I have only to leave the room, and he can hardly follow. He can no longer perform as a husband, so that duty is over. I am quite safe from him." Charlotte's expression softened.

"That is enough for you?"

"Yes, but there is more. I care for the people of Rosings. Many of the parishioners there have been most kind to me, and I miss them greatly. It is home to me now. Miss de Bourgh has little hope of being a good mistress to them. Having watched your family through all these years, I believe I may be able to help, to make a difference in their lives." Some of the confidence left Charlotte's posture.

"So you will teach Miss de Bourgh?"

"If she is open to that. We already have a friendship of sorts, so in light of all her losses, I believe she might receive me."

"You are very good, Charlotte." Lizzy swallowed painfully. "I am sure you will have Rosings well in hand."

"That remains to be seen, I suppose, though I am certainly not placing myself in the goodness of Miss de Bourgh's hands. I believe she feels guilty over my husband's accident and fears that talk of her being responsible for it might get out."

"You would not—"

"No, certainly not. But she fears that I would and that fear will keep her behavior in check." The corner of Charlotte's lips lifted briefly.

"I suppose that is only fitting, is it not." Lizzy chuckled. "I shall miss you, Charlotte, and you must promise to write me very often. I want to hear of all that happens."

Their conversation continued for another half hour, but Lizzy heard little of it. Though she had not actually intended to return to Rosings, hearing Charlotte's plans reminded her of much she wanted to ignore. The walk home felt much longer and colder than she knew it to be. Weary to her bones, she returned to her rooms for the remainder of the day.


	40. Chapter 40

**Ch 40 **

Lizzy sat curled in the window seat, chin under her knees. The moonlight gleamed through her window, fitting her grey mood.

Despite everything, Charlotte was returning to Rosings, returning to her own home, to have her own child. Her past was not haunting her, holding her back. But Lizzy's was.

She swallowed back the lump in her throat. Unlike Charlotte, what she left was not waiting for her. Darcy…no, she would not dwell on what would not be. Oh, but she wished…enough, wishes would not change her future. Actions would.

Her first act had to be undoing that which haunted her, no matter what it cost. She wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and padded downstairs to her father's study.

"Do come in Lizzy dear. The hallway is too chilled for you to lurk about out there." Mr. Bennet pushed the study door open and ushered her in.

Warm air greeted her. "Here I thought I was being so quiet." She laughed softly and looked around the room.

It was much as it ever was, smelling like him, of leather, paper and wood smoke. No candles were lit, but the fire crackled and brightened enough the room for here. How much she missed this room.

"That shows you have been away from home too long." He shuffled in and lowered himself into a chair beside the chess board. "So you are exhausted by all the talk of lace as much as I?"

"No, indeed, I could talk of lace quite indefinitely."

He snorted.

"However, I have found myself at a loss for a decent chess partner and I have longed for a game." She slipped into the chair opposite his.

"I must confess, none of your sisters is up to your standards, although Mary is making quite a valiant effort. She is not so aggressive a player as you though. That will always be her downfall, I believe." He felt along the board and almost knocked over a pawn. "Shall we play with the board today?"

"I think so, there is something so satisfying about weight the pieces as they move across the board." She caressed the black knight she held in her hands. The moonlight played off the edge of the black stallion's jaw, remind her—.

"Are you going to finish setting up the board?" He leaned toward her, head cocked.

"I am sorry," she quickly put the rest of the pieces in place.

He caught her hand. "You are distracted, child."

She tried to pull away. "It is nothing."

He held her fast. "No, that is not true. You do not have to hide from me. Tell me, what it on your mind."

"Oh, Papa." The words ended in a strangled sob as tightly controlled feeling burst forth.

He pulled a pillow out from behind the chair and placed in on the floor beside him. She curled on the pillow to rest her head on his knees. He stroked her hair and crooned a tuneless melody in the back of her throat, a fuzzy soothing sound while she struggled to find her voice.

"You know me too well, Papa." She clutched the cuff of his pant leg in one hand and searched for a handkerchief with the other.

"I always will, my dear." He pressed her head gently. "Now tell me."

"I am not sure I want to." She swallowed back a sniffle. "I fear I will disappoint you."

"I can hardly fathom how I might be disappointed with you."

She hid her face in his leg. "I have not been honest with you. There is something I should have told you long ago." Her stomach twisted and threatened to choke off her words.

"You know by now you can tell me anything." He laid his hand softly on her shoulder. "Whatever it is, we will muddle our way through it." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

She lifted her face just enough to mumble, "Hoarace Carver." She felt him stiffen tense "You remember—"

The hand on her shoulder tightened its grip. "I will never forget." His breathing turned raspy, rumbling in his belly.

"Those things he said happened, how he…he compromised me…" Biting her knuckle, she struggled not to lose her courage.

She felt more than heard his low grumble.

Her insides trembled. "I denied that it happened." She pressed into him harder. "I told you that he lied about it all." She pulled back and shoved the hair out of her face. She had to look into his face to say this. She had to. "But it was me, Papa, it was me who was lying about it."

She watched him carefully, but his expression did not change.

Did he not hear her, or perhaps he did not understand. Surely he would be angry? "It…it happened just as he said." Her courage evaporated and she covered her face with her hands. The tears she had held at bay poured down her cheeks.

He sighed and twisted one of her curls in his fingers. "And in your guilt have been trying to make up for it ever since. You have been so convicted for your deception that you became the perfect daughter, sister and friend, so necessary to all of us that your worth could not be called into question." His voice was hoarse, the words rasping and low.

She nodded into his thigh, hunched miserably against him. Her tears soaking through the fabric of his pants.

"I have done you a great disservice child and must beg your forgiveness."

Her head snapped up and she stared at him. Her heart galloped like a stallion, pounding her ribs until they ached. "I do not understand, I have lied to you, knowingly deceived you—"

"No, you have not." He carefully tipped her chin up to face him. "You have not deceived me."

She tried to pull away, but he held her with uncharacteristic firmness. "I do not understand."

"I have known all along that his claims were true. He compromised you that day."

The room wavered and spun around her. Waves of muddled feeling poured forth. Her arms flew around his neck, she sobbed into his shoulder until his waistcoat was soaked through.

"How?" she whispered mopping her face with her drenched handkerchief.

"I know you child. I think I said that earlier. It was so very clear, at least to me." He produced a dry handkerchief and pressed it into her hands.

"Why did you not say so? How could you let me lie like that to your face without reprimand. You have always demanded truthfulness from us. Did you not tell us when we were young that whatever punishment we had coming would be doubled if we lied about our misdeeds too?"

"I know." He blew out a breath through puffed cheeks and rubbed his face hard. "That was not the time to punish you though. You were the victim of his cruelty. I could not bear to add to your pain. So I let you have your comfort in believing I thought you innocent. In time, I thought you would come to me and confess it all, then we could bring closure to the whole sordid affair. "

"But I did not."

He lifted his hand to her face. "No, you did not. I persuaded myself that it was because you had come to terms with it and did not need my help in managing it. I suppose the truth is that I wanted to forget it all. It reminded me of how I failed you, how I could not properly protect you from that cad. I wanted it behind us too."

She nodded, sniffling. Somehow, she had never thought about his feelings on the matter. Her own had always been so overwhelming nothing else ever occurred to her.

His face drew into a deep frown. "In doing so, I deprived both of us of the opportunity to heal. You needed my assurance that I hold none of this against you. Whatever forgiveness you needed from me is yours. Then and now I see you no differently now that I did before Mr. Carver darkened our neighborhood." He pulled her up into his lap. "I have done you such a great wrong, keeping that to myself in fear of adding to your burden. In fear of being reminded of my own failures as a father. I was selfish. I convinced myself that I only hoped to ease your heart and instead I have make it worse. Please, forgive me."

She pressed her face into his shoulder and wept again, softly and with relief. In the shelter of his arms the fear of discovery and of rejection ebbed away.

"Forgive me for trying to deceive you," she whispered. "It was wrong of me to even try. I should have known that you would see through it anyway."

"Absolutely. I forgave you the day it first happened." He tucked her head under his chin and held her tight. "Nothing that Carver fellow did or said sullies you in any way. You can stop trying to prove your worth by being indispensable."

She cuddled into him, not speaking for a long time. Something had broken within her and there was a faint hint of freedom in the air. She blotted her face on the edge of her shawl. "Papa?"

He chuckled softly and kissed the top of her head again. "Go ahead and ask."

She craned her neck to look up at him. "You knew Mr. Darcy's secrets, about his sister, his engagement. You did not insist that we end our agreement. You did not me. Why?"

He pulled her back against his chest. "Why indeed? I fear I have been asking myself that for weeks now, ever since I received your letter from London. I have been questioning myself since that day, if I should have done something different."

"Somehow that makes me feel better." She twisted a button on his waistcoat.

"Some mornings I am convinced I failed you most cruelly, but then by evening I am certain of the opposite and that those were the right choices." He rested his chin on her head. "I wish I knew even now."

She nodded into his chest.

"No one but a novelist would have supposed your trip to Kent would put you in the parlor of his aunt and cousin. The thought is truly absurd." He chuckled.

She laughed in a lonely little voice. "When you put it that way, I am sure you are right. It is most unlikely."

"There was no reason to suppose you should find out his secrets in such a shocking, deplorable manner. I trusted Darcy and honestly I still do. He promised he would reveal everything to you when he returned from his mission on the continent."

"He is an honorable man." Her heart pinched.

"I would not have allowed him to marry you without you understanding the entire sordid truth. I warned him you were not to be trifled with. He insisted that his intentions were honorable and that his engagement to you was a result of his very great fear that someone else would see your worth before he was able to declare himself properly. I could not deny such logic." He laughed softly and rubbed his stubbled chin across her hair.

"And you did not share any of this with me." She could not silence the tiny note of petulance in her voice.

"Because I promised him I would not." He huffed and leaned his head back. "I told him of my sister and trusted him with that secret. I could do no less for him."

"And you did not tell him of the Carvers?"

"Because it was your secret to tell not mine. Lizzy, dear, you had not even told me. How could I possibly tell him?"

She nodded against his chest and curled up a little closer. She fixed her gaze on the fire. It popped and a large log slid from its perch, breaking apart as it did. "I was very angry with you when Mr. Darcy told me that you knew."

"I understand why. I would have been too."

"I did not understand why you would keep such secrets from me."

"Perhaps I handled this all wrong. Forgive me for hurting you. I only wanted the best for both of you." He traced her arm with his fingertip until he found her hand. He laid his own along the back of her hand and twined his fingers in hers.

"I understand now." She tightened her fingers around his. "And I do forgive you, Papa."

"Now will you forgive yourself?"

She swallowed hard. "I have to."

"That is why you came down tonight, is it not? You finally understand."

"I think so, or I at least I am start to." She sat up a little straighter. "Charlotte is moving on with her life in spite of her insipid, horrible adder of a husband. I cannot do less."

"That sounds like my Lizzy, at last." He smiled a little wistfully. "I do not want to see you leave home, my dear, but for a worthy man, I would be willing."

"Jane has found the only worthy one in Hertfordshire, I am afraid. They seem in short supply." She slid off his lap and returned to her chair. Bracing her elbows on the small table she rested her chin on her fist.

"Do you regret Darcy?" He leaned in close.

She blew out a deep breath very slowly. "I am not made for unhappiness, I think. I shall remember the past only as it gives me pleasure as I look to the future."

He patted her knee. "You are wise, my dear. Now, how about that game of chess?"

She arranged the pieces on the board. "You may have the first move. I shall best you anyway."

The next evening she sat before her dressing table, brushing her hair. The wedding was in just two days. To celebrate, Mr. Bennet had invited the wedding party to dinner that night Mr. Bingley's unknown friend had arrived that afternoon adding an air of mystery and anticipation to the event.

"I will miss Jane," Lizzy whispered to her reflection. "Who else will I confide in and not be laughed at? Who else can bear so well with my caprice and oddness? It will be so lonely here without her." Their maid was attending Jane, so she agreed to dress on her own tonight, Jane deserved the attention. She was the bride.

Tears prickled and burned her eyes. So many things could have been, but now… no, the time for that was past. But the future was not yet written and come what may, she would be content.

She wound her hair into a chignon, remembering Ruth's clever fingers. How devoutly she had defended her mistress. Despite her many flaws, Lady Catherine was a devoted mother and did the best she could. Her father probably would have been much like Anne had it not been for her mother's intervention. There but for the grace of God... She tucked the last of the pins in place. Rosings was a difficult place to remember, but a place she had learned a great deal. Perhaps on day she would be able ot look upon it without sadness. But not today. She blinked rapidly and checked the mirror once more.

Rummaging in the closet, she chose a gown she could fasten herself and hoped that Jane would not particularly notice that detail lest she feel guilty for monopolizing their maid's time. With a final flip of her skirt, she turned and left her room, stopping at Jane's on the way to the stairs.

Jane too was ready and they descended the stairs arm in arm, laughing in anticipation.

"Charles has told you nothing of this mysterious friend he brings with him?" Lizzy whispered, clinging to Jane's arm.

"Only that he is sure I will approve. It is so unlike him, he is not one to keep a secret." Jane giggled and blushed. "And he has worn the most peculiar look whenever we have talked about it. I feel certain there is more that he is refusing to tell me, but I have not Papa's penchant for making someone blurt out the truth."

Lizzy laughed heartily. "Consider that a good thing. I am sure it is right to allow your husband a few secrets. Besides, I do not believe that the world could manage with too many like Papa in it."

They heard the front door open and the deep voices of men greeting each other.

"He is here!" Jane's eyes lit up.

"Go, hurry to meet him. I shall catch up with you in a moment." She released Jane's arm and gently pushed her.

Jane giggled and flew down the stairs.

Lizzy paused and gathered her composure about her like a shawl. _I am not ready to meet someone new tonight. I thought I was, but I am not. I cannot turn back now. It will disappoint Jane far too much. I can do this, I can. _She squeezed the handrail so hard she was certain Hill would find impressions from her fingers the next time she polished it. She willed her feet down on step then another, until she finally reached the foyer.

Conversation stopped when she took the final step. She looked up and saw a sea of incongruent expressions. Bingley was gleeful, Jane shocked and her father, he was at peace. She scowled, working at the puzzle until she came to the fourth face in the foyer.

"Mr. Darcy!" She gasped, her heart pounding hard enough to break her ribs.

"Miss Elizabeth," he bowed, never taking his eyes off her.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41 **

Elizabeth knew she had eaten dinner. Several spots on her dress attested to the fact. Papa would tease her so if he knew. What she had eaten, to whom she had spoken and what might have been said, all took place in a far off country for all the memory she retained of them.

All she remembered was Darcy's face across the table from her, every blink, every twitch of his lips, every glance in her direction that made her heart flutter and her tongue tie around her teeth. How was it possible to desire to see someone so much and to be so discomposed at his unexpected arrival? Surely she had spoken during the meal, but what she had said would forever be a mystery to her.

She hated to hear it and yet was relieved when Bingley and Darcy announced that they must depart early, for there was business to be done the next day. As soon as the front door closed, she fled to her room, shut the door firmly behind her and blew out all the candles. Not even Jane or Papa would be welcome right now. Her thoughts raced too fast, and she had to bring them under some semblance of control before she could trust herself to speak to anyone.

How could _he_be here? Of course, he was Bingley's friend. It made sense he should be here to stand up with Bingley. Naturally Bingley would not have wanted to tell Jane of his plans. Had she given any thought to the matter, she might have guessed.

She paced the room, a high strung filly penned in a stall in a thunder storm. She tossed her head, snorting, and pawed at the ground, all to no avail. The maddening thoughts and unsettling emotions would not abate. They closed her in more tightly. Still she must wait, though she could barely breathe.

Finally Papa's door shut. The whole family was settled in to sleep.

She threw on a morning dress, laced her half boots and grabbed her heaviest coat. Woe to anything that stood between her and freedom. She tore down the stairs and to the stable. The full moon, as bright as day on the early winter landscape, made her steps sure.

The heavy stable door fought her. For a moment she wondered if it had been barred from within. Foolish thing, she would find a way to get inside. After much heaving and grunting, it relented. Her breath came in sharp pants. Sweat trickled down her face. She brushed it away, leaving an itchy smudge on her cheek. It mattered little; she would soon be free to outrun the tormenting pressure in her mind.

Toppur nickered at her and danced in his stall. He tossed his head as if sharing her restlessness.

"You have been too much confined too, have you not, boy?" She patted his cheek and turned to remove her saddle from the wall. "I have as well. We will remedy that in just a moment. You must stand still though."

The cold settled into her fingers and left them thick and clumsy. An eternity passed before the saddle was properly settled on Toppur's back. She gathered his reins in her hands. He nearly jerked them from her grasp when he tossed his head. The hot breath from his frustrated snort heated her fingers.

"Patience, my friend, just a little longer." She led him outside to the mounting block.

Toppur tossed his head again. His front hooves struck a tattoo on the hard ground.

"I know, it has been too long since we have ridden. Do not scold me so." She stroked his neck. Freedom was within her grasp. Everything within ached with longing.

He snorted and butted her shoulder.

"Do not tease me for being too short to mount without something to stand on. It is not my fault you are far too tall to be a ladies' mount. Now, be still for just a moment more." She grabbed the saddle and swung herself up.

Toppur danced uneasily for a moment as she found her seat. He soon settled in as though he remembered her weight on his back.

She kicked his side and urged him into a fast walk. She soon found his rhythm and began to move seamlessly with his gait. At her unconscious suggestion, he moved into a trot, the ground flying under his feet.

The winds scoured her face, ripping her hair from its braid. Tendrils slapped her cheeks and left a stinging reprimand behind, reminding her that a lady does not ride this way. Her lips parted, cheeks bunching into something that felt half smile, half snarl.

"If only I had learnt to be a lady, I might care," she muttered, urging Toppur toward Willard's field. "But as it is, I do not. Perhaps tomorrow I can learn, tonight I will be free."

As soon as the open reaches of the field came into view, Toppur launched into a full gallop. His long legs extended fully, churning faster and faster. The silvery brightness birthed strange shadows in the skeletal trees at the edges of the field. Lizzy was certain she saw movement from the corner of her eye. The stallion tensed beneath her, his pace increased still. Whipping her head over her shoulder, she saw the dark forms of another horse and rider gaining upon her.

Her racing heart beat even faster, so fast she wondered if it would leave her chest. She whooped in delight and leaned down over Toppur's neck. "You are the wind, my friend, no one can catch you!" She dug her heels into his side and urged him on.

Still the shadowy black forms gained on them. Toppur extended his neck and and eeked out a little more speed.

Their pursuers were undeterred. They pulled alongside. The two horses matched each other's pace and cornered around the field as one. Their hooves fell in tandem, the wave of their gaits flowed together. For the length of the field and around the next turn, the horses moved as a single unit, powerful, master of their environs. Royals invested fortunes to train mounts to do what these did of their own accord.

Their strength gave out before their determination. As a unit, they slowed through the next turn and the next. As they began a new lap around the field, the two horses were down to a fast walk.

Lizzy kept her eyes focused ahead of her, unprepared to look at the other rider. Only one person could have joined her on that ride. She felt his gaze on her, an ethereal caress that whispered something that was just barely out of hearing.

Could she bear to listen?

Could she bear to ignore? She pondered the question for two more long laps.

The horses approached the stream and stopped to permit their riders to dismount. Lizzy swung her leg over and slid down. She intended to keep the horses between herself and the other. Darcy's large hands circled her waist, steadying her descent. She was fully capable of—the protest faded with her awareness of the trembling that gripped all her limbs. Once her feet were firmly on the ground, she tried to move away, but he would not release her.

"Please wait." His eyes pleaded.

She could not find it in her to deny him.

"I should have found a way to let you know that I was coming, to ask your permission. I thought Bingley would have told you, but in retrospect I see that was not reasonable. He is not one to remember such details. You must not hold it against him."

"Of course. I believe he may have even thought himself being helpful." She panted, still trying to catch her breath. She swept her hair from her face, trying to tuck wild strands back away from her face. As she tamed one, another fought itself free. So she gave up and just shook it out of her eyes.

He caught her hand and led her to the fallen log. "I had no idea you would be out at such a time."

She sat beside him and kept her eyes on the drinking horses. Meeting his gaze took more strength than she had in this moment. "Neither did I. I have no doubt that Papa would not approve. He barely tolerates my riding Toppur. It is a topic we agree not to raise at all."

"I certainly see why. Few men would dare ride that stallion. He is a spirited creature." Darcy chuckled thinly.

"You alone can attest to that fact. I know no other who has ridden him." She dared a brief glance at him. "Even with Toppur to guard me, Papa would never approve of my riding him out at night. He allows me a great deal of freedom, but this, I fear would push him too far." She looked down at her hands that had somehow become tightly clenched in her lap.

"And yet you are here." He edged slightly closer to her.

"I am." She summoned her courage and lifted her eyes to his. "You know my impetuous nature. I could not stay indoors a moment longer."

"My presence has so discomposed you?" Back lit by the moon, his expression was difficult to discern.

"Yes." She looked toward the horses. They stood nose to nose, nickering softly, in a conference of their own. "I notice that you are here as well."

"So I am. I confess it is for much the same reason. Your presence is entirely disconcerting."

The silence filled the space between them, growing larger with each passing moment, pushing them farther and father until he knew if he did not speak immediately, she would not be able to hear him across the chasm. "I did not get Charles's letter until after Georgiana's wedding. After you had left." He tried to soften the bite in his words, not sure if he wanted her to know that much, not yet at least. "I did not decide to come until just yesterday."

"What convinced you?" The moonlight reflected in her eyes and glowed off her fine skin. What was that look she wore, dare he believe the softness in it might be for him?

He swallowed hard. Pressure built in his chest, words he longed to speak and did not dare. If he tried to speak he might lose control.

"Sir?"

He shook his head and drew a deep breath. "Georgiana told me what you said to her before the wedding." He pushed off the log and took several steps away. He gulped in cold air, but the truth burned too hot. He whirled to face her. "That taught me to hope as I could not hope before."

He studied her face. The softness remained, and her eyes glittered. Could it be?

"You are too good to trifle with me, Elizabeth. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. But one word will silence me on the matter forever, I assure you. I will not continue to haunt you. I came not for Charles, but for you and you alone. I could not give you up, not yet."

She blinked rapidly and caught her upper lip in her teeth.

He fought not to smile, his heart rushing into its own trot. "I was going to talk to you again after the wedding, but you had already left—you abandoned me. I could not leave you so easily. Dare I tell what it did to me to look in your room and find you gone?"

She bit her lip and bowed her head. "I know it was cowardly of me. I am—" Her breath hitched.

No! He did not want to see her cry. He rushed to her side and knelt in the dirt beside her. "Please, tell me. Are you feelings unchanged from that awful night at Rosings, or do I have some hope, some chance at being able to convince you I am a man worth your trust?"

The words hung in the cold, clear air, filling the space between them with a crystalline barrier that would shatter in one word or solidify into a prison with another. His heart clenched, aching with each beat.

She lifted her chin and looked into his eyes. "You would still have me despite what I told you, despite knowing my shame? Do you believe I can be trusted? You deserve—"

"I know what you are." He caught her hands, enveloping them in his. Her fingers were so cold through her gloves. He lifted them to his face and pressed them to his cheeks to warm them.

She tried to pull away but relented and cupped her hands to his face. Her thumbs gazed the crest of his cheeks. He held his breath, lest he frighten her away.

"You are a woman whose strength and courage I admire. A woman whose wit and intelligence I delight in. A woman who occupies my thoughts, day and night. The only one who sees you differently from that is you." He edged too close for secrets. A turn of his head brought his lips to her hand, and he kissed her palm. "Please, Elizabeth…"

She pressed her palms to his cheeks in an embrace that stole the last fragments of his breath. "My feelings are so very different—"

He jumped to his feet and swept her into his arms. The horses snorted.

"But you have not even heard how they have changed!" She pushed his chest hard enough to make him afraid he misunderstood.

He held her more tightly, pulling his head back so he could peer into her face. "I can see it in your eyes. If you had determined to refuse me you would have already told me in no uncertain terms and probably stolen my horse to get away." His smile widened.

"You can surely believe that of me." She surrendered to his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. "My feelings are so very different." Her voice was a caress.

"Tell me." He pressed a kiss into her hair and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I was wrong to call you untrustworthy. I cannot believe how every wrong I was." She shook her head, hiding her face in his shoulder. "Can you forgive me for maligning you so?"

He gulped against the tightness in his throat and nodded against her.

"The care you showed me after my cousin turned me out, and not just me, but Charlotte as well, proved your character beyond any doubt. I was wrong to accuse you as I did. I see now you never were engaged to Anne, not a real engagement."

He shuddered. "Only in the minds of my aunt and cousin. Not even the Matlocks ever expected it to happen." A grim laugh escaped.

"So you had nothing to tell me. Nor had you any reason to conceive of me/y? ever meeting Lady Catherine or her daughter." She laughed.

Was there a sound he treasured more? If so, he could not name it.

"With so many secrets of my own, it was hypocritical of me to call you out for yours." She peeked at him, her brow furrowed.

He pressed his cheek to her forehead. "I should have told you. It was wrong for me to have hidden that from you, whatever my reasons. Please, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, forgive me."

"I do. I only ask that you forgive me as well."

He answered her with a kiss that shook all doubt from her heart and branded her soul.

"You will marry me then?" He held his breath, his body stiffened, waiting.

"Indeed, I will." She felt the tension pour out of him, and for a moment his knees gave way. He leaned on her for support.

He straightened himself and squared his shoulders. "And your father, what of him? Shall I make arrangements for him at Pemberly?"

"Not yet, I think. He got along well enough while I was at Kent." She swallowed back the sadness. Tears burned her eyes. But no, this was as it should be, for all of them. "Jane and Bingley will be nearby."

"You know, he will always be welcome with us. Any of your sisters, as well."

"It would be lovely for him to have a particular room for his use when he visits, as I am sure he will be wont to do. It would help him to have a familiar place that will not change. I know he will not want us to forbid the movement of furniture, as your aunt did." She laughed softly. "But for now, I think he would like to remain in his own home." Her eyebrow lifted, and she peered into his face. "That is an odd thing to bring up just now, do you not think?"

"Hardly." He kissed her forehead. "I was merely ascertaining what stood between us and a wedding. It appears there is less than I feared. I do not want to wait for the wedding."

"You are a very impatient man, sir. I should say it will take six months at least to arrange—"

"Elizabeth!" His eyes bulged. "You have kept me waiting far too long as it is."

She pursed her lips in a struggle not to laugh.

"Do not tease me! With all you have put me through, I insist on this point."

"I am sorry, that was cruel." She caressed his cheek, and ran her fingers along his brow until the furrowed lines smoothed.

"I talked to you before of the possibility of a double wedding."

"You cannot be serious." She gasped and pulled back to stare at him. "I understand you are impatient, but you must be reasonable."

"I am perfectly serious. I have a special license and settlement papers to offer your father. The dress you wore for Georgiana's wedding is stunning ,and if you would not mind being married in that, what more is there it arrange?" His heart raced. "I am entirely certain that Bingley and your sister will be overjoyed with the idea. He has been a most vocal advocate of our union to me as I suspect your sister has been to you."

"You are serious. You really think we can be married in two days?"

"I will go talk to your father right now if it pleases you."

"He is sleeping, and I will not awaken him for this." She scowled, though she knew it was hardly an intimidating expression.

"I will sleep on your doorstep to be there the first moment of the morning to speak to him then. I think it a brilliant plan." He bent to kiss her long and hard enough that her objections were forgotten in the heat of his passion.

"I do not believe I will be able to deny you anything, Mr. Darcy." Her voice was a heated, breathy whisper that spoke what she did not know how to say.

"That will be a very good thing indeed."


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42 **

Lizzy sat at the breakfast table, reading the morning news to her father. Her breakfast sat untouched before her. She struggled to keep her voice steady as she read, but the look on her father's face left no doubt, she was not fooling him.

"Mr. Darcy to see you, sir," Wallace announced

"Such an early riser." Mr. Bennet clucked his tongue. His lips turned up at the corner. "You do not know his purpose at such an early call, do you, dear? Send him back to us, Wallace."

Lizzy sipped her coffee, her hands trembling. "He is not prone to disguise, Papa. I am sure he will not keep his purpose from you."

"You do seem in a much better humor this morning. I imagine that late night walk of yours did you no end of good." He saluted her with his coffee cup.

"It was not a walk, Papa." She bowed her head, cheeks flaming. "It was a ride."

His jaw dropped. "Tell me you did not…the stallion?" His cup landed hard on the table.

She hid her face in her hands. "I am surprised you did not already know."

"I fell asleep before I heard the barn door open. I only awakened when you returned. That front door has a horrible squeak to it, you know." He sighed and rubbed his forehead. His face shaped into a severe expression. "Child, do you understand how dangerous that is? I swear if you were not already a grown woman, I would—"

"Do not fear, sir, I made certain that she was safe." Darcy's rich voice filled the room.

"Of course, now I see." He turned over his shoulder and beckoned Darcy in brusquely. "Another clandestine meeting with no chaperones, in the dead of the night." He dropped his hands loudly on the table. The fork left on his plate rattled. "What were you thinking? I assume better sense from you, Lizzy. I am most disappointed—in both of you."

"I am sorry, Papa/" She bit her lip and peeked up. Her eyes flickered between her father and Darcy. "I was not thinking much last night." She pushed back form the table and rose. She strode to stand beside Darcy. "I could no longer breathe in my room, and I had to go out. When we got to the field, Toppur found his running partner. The two of them ran themselves to exhaustion. We had to allow them to rest before we could return." She shrugged and bit her lip.

"When I took my stallion out, I had no expectation that she—"

"No, of course you did not." Bennet turned in his chair to face them. "No man in his right mind would expect to find a young woman out alone on a horse no one else can ride. Lizzy, whatever am I going to do with you?" He huffed and raked his hair. "I have only just reconciled myself to the knowledge that you will ride that beast, but this is taking my good graces too far. You cannot continue this way. You must attend to propriety and your reputation to some minimal degree. You leave me no choice. I must sell that blasted horse since you cannot control yourself."

"Perhaps, sir, it is time to turn her management over to someone else." Darcy's lips twitched.

"Excuse me!" Lizzy's eyes bulged, and she drew a deep breath. "What do you think you are—"

Bennet's lips twitched into a wry smile. He tipped his head. "Perhaps you are correct, sir." He turned toward Lizzy briefly. "She has become quite a handful for an old man like myself to manage."

"I would consider taking her off your hands, sir." Darcy crossed his arms.

"Take me off his hands! What are you talking about! How can you speak so?" Lizzy drew herself up very tall.

"She is a very unruly girl, you understand." Bennet rose and stepped toward them. His eye twitched in something like a wink at Darcy. "Are you really prepared to handle such a creature."

"I have a great deal of land on my estate. There would be plenty of space for her to run wild. A filly needs to have plenty of room to stretch her legs." Darcy ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek.

"That is entirely true. I believe it is possible my estate is not large enough to contain such a high strung, obstinate creature."

"Papa!" Lizzy glared at Darcy, then at her father. Her foot tapped a tattoo on the floorboards, not unlike Toppur's hooves.

Darcy chuckled and enveloped her hands in his. "Mr. Bennet, last night your daughter finally consented to be my wife at long last. Will you give us your blessings?"

She looking into his eyes and could not speak. When he looked at her that way, she could only swallow hard, her breath shallow and heart racing.

"It is about time. I am relieved to give you my blessings. You have had them for months, after all. After your escapade of last night, I was quite certain I was just going to have to force you to marry." He chuckled happily. "I dare say you have agreed to this, Lizzy, of your own free will?"

"Yes, Papa, I have, most happily." She smiled brilliantly at Darcy.

Darcy dropped her hands. He circled her waist with his hands and bent to kiss her. She tilted her head up and closed her eyes, lost in the feeling of his warm lips. Time slowed, marked only by the pressure of his fingertips and lips.

Mr. Bennet cleared his throat. "I might remind you that I am in the room with you and I do not need to see to know what you are doing. Besides, you are not yet married."

"You are already requiring us to marry, so what further danger have I to be concerned with?" Darcy winked.

Lizzy leaned forward to kiss her father's cheek.

Mr. Bennet scowled, his forehead wrinkling. "When are you planning your nuptials? It seems unwise for you to wait too long."

"I was thinking about tomorrow," Darcy replied.

"Very funny," Mr. Bennet folded his lips into a frown. "I am entirely serious." He reached for his chair. It took him a moment to find it and sit again. He raked his hair again. "Neither of you appears to have the decorum or restraint to wait for this wedding. I insist we not leave this room without a date set."

"I was being entirely serious." Darcy sat down and pulled Lizzy into his lap. "There is a wedding planned tomorrow. I do not see why we cannot—"

Bennet squeezed his temples. "Would you please take this matter seriously? I understand your levity, but enough is enough. You rich young men are accustomed to getting your way, but there are certain things that take time. To start with, the banns must be read."

"I acquired a special license before I came here. We do not need to wait on having banns read." Darcy reached into his coat and produced a stack of papers.

"There is a settlement that must be prepared and approved."

"I have already done that as well. I met with my solicitor before leaving for the continent, and he had it ready for me on my return."

Lizzy rolled her eyes and shook her head. Darcy shrugged.

"Before you had her agreement?" Bennet dragged his hand down his face.

"I was certain I would win her approval."

"You are a very bold man, Mr. Darcy."

"A lesser man would not have won her hand."

"Nor have her sitting on his lap right in front of her father." Bennet drummed his fingers on the table and scowled.

Lizzy's cheeks burned, but she made no move to remove herself from her perch.

"Stallions are not known for subtlety." Darcy's brow quirked as he looked down at Lizzy.

She giggled into his chest.

Mr. Bennet grumbled. "Assuming I approve your settlement, which I have not yet and do not promise I will, there is still a matter of a dress, which, though I know little of such matters, I am certain one cannot be crafted so swiftly."

"Miss Darcy had a dress made for me by her modiste in honor of her wedding. Jane declared it to be far too fine for me to merely stand up with her. I should be pleased to be married in that." Lizzy said softly. She slipped off Darcy's lap, stood beside her father, and laid her hand on his shoulder.

"If I were a suspicious man, I would think that you both had this fully planned out while you were in London. But since you had no impediment from me, there was no reason for such subterfuge." He smiled a little weakly and placed his hand over hers. "Seriously, my dear, do you really wish to have such a hurried affair? You deserve to have the very best I can give you. I fear this may be so much less than you deserve."

"Jane and I had talked about a double wedding before I left for Kent." Lizzy sandwiched his hand with hers.

"I am afraid of what else will happen if we wait a moment longer than necessary. " Darcy chuckled, leaning toward them. Worried lines appeared beside his eyes.

Mr. Bennet swallowed hard. "I have been preparing myself to lose you, Lizzy, but I am not sure I am prepared to do so tomorrow."

Lizzy looked sadly at Darcy and drew a breath to speak.

"But I will not allow you to postpone on my account. I cannot be that selfish with you. It has taken you far too long to come to this resolution, and I will not stand in your way. Read me the settlement papers and if I agree, then you may find Jane and see how she reacts to all this."

Darcy handed her the papers. "I want you to see this as well, Elizabeth. I think you should read this to him."

"And sit in your chair this time as well, dear, I find your other sitting arrangement a bit too distracting for my liking. I have allowed you far too much latitude, even if you are to be married tomorrow. I expect you to conduct yourselves properly, now."

"Yes, Papa." She sat down as primly as she could and unfolded the papers.

Even a man of Mr. Bennet's humor could find nothing to joke about in the generous settlement Mr. Darcy offered his daughter. The papers were signed, and Jane, summoned.

A light snow fell during the night and continued to drift down daintily after sunrise. The fluffy white powder dusted the landscape with just enough glitter to leave Jane and Elizabeth gasping at the beauty.

Their friends gasped too when they saw not one bride, but two, emerge from the carriage. Mrs. Philips and Lady Lucas immediately confronted Mr. Bennet.

"I thought Lizzy was to stand up with her sister!" Mrs. Philips said, leaning very close to Mr. Bennet.

"But she looks as much the bride as her sister. How could you allow her to do such a thing to Jane! This is so unlike her. Lizzy is such a considerate girl. All that time in London has done her no favors at all. You should have stopped her." Lady Lucas's foot tapped the stone floor in an anxious rhythm. "People will gossip so over this, and it will not appear well for Lizzy at all."

"She looks the part of a bride because she is one, ladies. We are to have a double wedding this morning." Mr. Bennet struggled to suppress his smile.

"A double wedding? How on earth is that possible? Who is marrying her, and more importantly, why?" Mrs. Phillips shared a worried look with Lady Lucas. "What has she done?"

"She has caused a very worthy man to fall in love with her." Mr. Bennet snorted, his eyes narrowing.

"Who on earth—" Mrs. Phillips began.

"I do not like your tone, madam," he snapped.

"Please forgive us, sir, but this has taken us quite by surprise. You must allow that it is highly irregular. Pray tell, who is the groom?" Lady Lucas said in her most soothing tones.

"I suppose you will know soon enough." He huffed and turned his face away. "She is to marry Mr. Darcy."

"You must be joking! Mr. Darcy to marry our Lizzy? How can that be?" Mrs. Phillips looked incredulously at Mr. Bennet.

"Because he has exceptional taste, madam." Mr. Bennet frowned. He heard the sounds of a carriage approaching and passengers disembarking.

"Mr. Bennet!" Bingley called and hurried toward them.

"Very good! Have you Darcy with you?" Mr. Bennet turned toward Bingely's voice.

"Indeed I am, sir." Darcy said, suddenly at Mr Bennet's elbow.

"I wish to have a word with you both." Mr. Bennet grasped Darcy's arm.

Darcy led them to a still corner of the church.

"I hardly have to tell either of you gentlemen that you are marrying the finest girls in all of England." Bennet straightened his coat.

"No, indeed you do not." Bingley smiled broadly.

"I would not agree to surrender them to men any less deserving than yourselves."

Darcy tugged at his neck cloth.

"I am proud to call you my sons, and I shall expect you to always be worthy of that title. Since God did not give me sons of my own to raise, I shall be thankful for the fine men that did the job of raising you."

"Thank you, sir." Bingley squirmed.

"I cannot take their places, but I would be pleased to be called 'father' by you, none the less." He clapped their shoulders. "Now that is as sentimental as a man my age can possibly be expected to ever be." He chuckled.

Bingley and Darcy laughed.

"You know you are always welcome at Pemberley—"

"And Netherfield, as well." Bingley nodded enthusiastically.

"I count on it, and I am sure I will you will live to regret your generosity." His scarred eye twitched in a wink-like expression. "Now, Darcy, take me to the vicar. I imagine he is getting impatient to start."

Darcy nodded to Bingley and then guided Mr. Bennet to the vicar. Darcy took his place at the front of the church, and Bingley joined him.

A few moments later Mr. Bennet walked both Lizzy and Jane to the front of the church. Darcy and Bingley stepped forward, and he placed Jane's hand in Bingley's and Lizzy's in Darcy's.

Jane and Elizabeth's eyes were bright as they stood beside their grooms and listened to the vicar's voice:

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman and this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church;

it is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained.

Wilt thou have this Woman tobe? thy wedded Wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

Together Bingley and Darcy replied, "I will."

The vicar turned to the sisters.

Wilt thou have this Man to be? thy wedded Husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

Jane swallowed hard and whispered, "I will." Tears trickled down her cheek. Unable to stop himself, Bingley caught them on his finger.

Elizabeth drew a steady breath and began to speak but was halted by the intensity of Darcy's gaze. She lost herself in his attention for a long moment. Finally he winked at her, and she remembered her words. "I will."

The next few moments were a blur until she felt him slip a ring on her finger.

With this Ring I thee wed, with my Body I thee worship, and with all my worldly Goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Darcy guided her to kneel with him before the vicar.

Let us pray.

Eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life; Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this Man and this Woman, whom we bless in thy Name; and maythey? ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ,? our Lord. Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

**F**orasmuch as they have consented together in holy Wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth either to other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they be Man and Wife together, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Mr. Bennet slipped his hand in his pocket and fingered the mobcap he had tucked there, whispering, "Fanny, my dear, God has been very good to us."


End file.
